no support when breastfeeding gets tough

[becca022]

I feel like crying right now.

DD has been pulling away from my nipple while still attatched & now even between feeds my breasts & nipples are so sore, it's hurting right in the breasts too.
I want to keep feeding her, but I've got no support to keep going. DP & my mum says to put her on the bottle.
I didn't think I would get much support, my mum bottle fed, my sister did, pretty much everyone I know whohave had babies has either started bottle feeding, or switched by about 2 months.

So my question is..... How do I keep going with no support?

Oh yeah I forgot to add that dd is almost 7 months.

[SuperGranny]

hi, at seven months the bub is getting easily distracted. If you feel you want to ween her there is no problem with doing that. I would suggest trying to feed without any distraction if possible, and also I would make the time on the breast shorter. It is easier to feed more often then to feed for a longer time when the breasts are geting too sore. By seven months I was giving my children three meals of solids and also maybe three or four breast feeds a day. There are many breast feeding experts here who will give you all the support, but dont worry what the rest of the family think or say, , you do what you feel is right for you. Well done, Marie.

[delirium]

I have no advice for you, I'm a complete failure as a bfer. I just wanted to say I understand how hard it is continue when everyone around you both pushes you to go on formula, and has no bfing advice or support. When you have no support, it all seems so overwhelming :hugs:

Contact your local ABA and maybe go along to one of their meetings.

[misskittyfantastico]

:hugs::hugs::hugs: I feel your pain. It's awful when it's so bloody painful and your "support" people are telling you to just give up. DS was very similar at that age...would pull away whist still attached - felt like I was going to end up with nipples two feet long!
With DS, I got to the point where I could see that he was going to pull and I'd just break the suction and put him on the floor. I did this repeatedly and I'd reattach him if he got upset, but it did help to minimise the pulling. Also feeding in a distraction free zone, helped (hard with another child I know). Breastfeeding is incredibly tough sometimes and it's really hard to perservere at times, but all I've kept telling myself is to just go for another week and see. Mark a date on the calender 10 days from now and make that your reassessing date. It helped me to push that little bit longer. The ABA is also great for phone or email support.

[SweetDreams]

I second contacting the ABA. Going to ABA meetings and seeing others socially who breastfeed helps also.

[love4life]

I think you have done a great job to have breastfed for so long without support, so good on you!! Try wearing a long necklace to keep your DD interested and still at the breast. It's normal for babies to go be too distracted to feed at this age and it usually only lasts a little while before they get back to feeding properly again.

Hang in there if you can and I agree ABA is awesome and will certainly give you all the support and tips you need.

But again, you're doing great!
Lorraine.
___________________
Spend some time with me and discover the essence of breastfeeding.
http://www.the-essence-of-breastfeeding.com

[JabberJaw]

Sounds pretty normal, one thing though are your breasts hurting like shooting pains? Because it could be something like nipple thrush and bub might be pulling off because of oral thrush ( because they do) check bubs mouth and tongue, if she has it it will look like she had milk curd on her tongue and maybe on her cheeks and gums.... could be way off but its worth a look because with a simple treatment your problems will be solved.

Search on goggle all the benefits of breastfeeding, might give you some good defenses for those who tell you to go to a bottle. ABA is a good idea too.

[*Chels*]

:hugs::hugs::hugs: I feel your pain. It's awful when it's so bloody painful and your "support" people are telling you to just give up. DS was very similar at that age...would pull away whist still attached - felt like I was going to end up with nipples two feet long!
With DS, I got to the point where I could see that he was going to pull and I'd just break the suction and put him on the floor. I did this repeatedly and I'd reattach him if he got upset, but it did help to minimise the pulling. Also feeding in a distraction free zone, helped (hard with another child I know). Breastfeeding is incredibly tough sometimes and it's really hard to perservere at times, but all I've kept telling myself is to just go for another week and see. Mark a date on the calender 10 days from now and make that your reassessing date. It helped me to push that little bit longer. The ABA is also great for phone or email support.

Great advice!

I have been going through the same thign with Gray.I think its just the teething,having sore gums and liking to chomp on anything!!
I pull him off,say no and let him have a break,or else give him the dummy.

I think your family is being really unhelpful.Have a word to them to let them know how you feel.Dont let them pressure you into stopping.There are so many different stages to a BFing relationship,it definatley has its ups and down but is so worth it in the end!!

[becca022]

Thanks for the advice everyone.
I'm taking her to be weighed & measured tomorrow, so I'll ask the nurse then. I'm sure she'll be able to help.


It does look like she's got milk on her tongue. If she can't help I'll call the ABA.

[CeeBee]

Hi Becca

Sorry you are having a hard time with the feeding (I haven't had your problem but have had more than my fair share of 'issues' :yes:)

As for the support - if you are determined that you want to keep on BFing - then basically I would have a chat to your DP first and foremost and tell him that you really want to do this and that you really need him on board with it. Try to get him to realise that BFing should be something you mutually agree on for the sake of your baby and not just something that the 'woman' decides or the 'woman' wants to do (even though we all know we are the only ones that can do it, and ultimately the decision is ours - at some level it needs to be mutual for the support factor).

As much as my DP was encouraging and supportive to me - sometimes i needed him to put on more of a united front to others. For eg, when his MIL would raise the subject of giving the bottle, I explained to him that it would help if he would respond with something like "this is something WE want to do". It took the pressure away from me and made me feel like it was our choice, not just mine.

I would also have a chat to your mum - and any other close friends/family members that are suggesting the bottle. Explain that BFing is important to you and that you really need her/their support and encouragement. For the most part, they probably think they are doing the right thing or helping you by suggesting the bottle to make it easier on you. But they don't realise that it doesn't help when you really just want to BF.

As for anyone else on the sidelines that aren;t supportive - you just have to let them wash over you. You can't fight all battles, but you do need support from those close around you so just try asking for it.

Good luck, sorry for the waffle but hope it helps.

(PS - keep up the good work).

Cee

[c38]

:hugs::hugs:My DS does the same thing. And has done in patches since early days. kind of runs his gums (now teeth) down the boob as he pulls off. With him it has peaked with teeth coming through, and then a week or so later when they get longer and he can obviously sense them. He also does it if he wants attention, ie I'm talking to someone or typing on the comp. Little imp gets a half grin while feeding..then ouch!
I FEEL your pain.
I've had some success with growl and put on floor as well.

Could be thrush
could be teething
could be distraction

I've found he does it less on his least favorite side..so only offer that side on days that he's really into it, or I am really sore.

Can you express and give him a bottle or cup feed, just to give your boobs a break for at least one or two feeds??

I hope your CHN can help
joining the ABA could also be helpful/supportive both for advice and someone to ring and vent to

As for the family:shame:
Mine are a little the same. I remind them that slaving over sterilising and making up bottles, carting formula round etc would NOT make my life easier.

:yelclap::yelclap::yelclap:for making it to 7 months, may there be many more...

[becca022]

Thanks again everyone.
The nurse said it sounds like Thrush brought on by the trauma of her pulling on my nipples.
She said to get an anti thrush treatment & if it doesn't get better to go to the gp.

She also said if we decide to go down the formula road at least she's had the best start to life. She wasn't trying to push me one way or the other which is good.
DP on the other hand though.:banghead:

[Thermolicious]

Sounds like you got some great advice here :)

I just wanted to send you some :hugs: and a :thumbsup: for doing so well congratulations!

[julietv8]

Firstly, I would like to say you have done a wonderful job to get this far! :yelclap: I would try the thrush drops and see if you get any relief from that. Is she only pulling at the end of a feed when she is bored? I had to stop my son from biting at about the same age by pulling him off every time he did it and plonking him in his cot for a few minutes. He got the message pretty quickly that boobies are for sucking, not for biting!

If you want to continue breastfeeding, there is support out there! Maybe not at home, which sucks but as the other girls suggested, the ABA have a helpline, also the bubhub is a great resource.