ok umm....

[laura133]

I dont know if im DEF pregnant just yet but instincts are telling me that i am :crying:
I will be considering a termination if i am as bella is only 3 months old!!
I DO NOT WANT TO BE JUDGED i just want some advice from people who have been in this situation..
TIA :confused:

[jag5000]

Hi Laura.

I really don't know what to say but I couldn't read this and not give you :hugs:
you sound very upset and distressed :(

i suppose my advice would be to first confirm if you are pregnant or not so you know the decisions you have to make and where you stand. The stress of not knowing alone must be hard.

If you do have a termination or not really depends on a lot of things. Where you are in life, your situation, if you want another child, how you think you'd feel if you did have a termination etc

good luck

[HousebumMum]

I have been in your exact situation. I fell pregnant when my first was exactly 3 months old also and I was devastated. I was seriously considering termination, which was huge for me because I had never ever thought that I would feel that way.

I had a lot of time to think about it, as I was only 2 weeks pregnant when I found out, but as the days went on, I came to realise the positives of having children so close together and even though I hadn't planned it that way, I love that both my children are so close in age.

I totally understand how you must be feeling, because I cried for days and was so angry at myself and to be honest I hated all 9 months of the pregnancy because my body had taken a beating the first time. Everyday I hated the thought that I would have a newborn and a very young toddler and kept imagining how hard it would be and that I wouldn't cope.

When my second was born, I was just so overwhelmed at how perfect he looked and knew straight away that I would never feel regret for choosing to have him.

If you want to chat more, feel free to PM me. :hugs:

Good Luck with whatever you choose and I think anyone who judges you needs to be in your shoes to understand.

[laura133]

Thanks for the quick reply ladies.
This will be my 3rd bub in 3 years if i am preg!
Had DS in '07' and DD in feb this year!!

[3'llhavetodo]

Sorry sweetie only you can make that decision just let me say that my 2 children are only 13mths apart (thanks Doc"you can't fall pregnant while you breastfeed) and I wouldn't have it any other way. They are so close it's wonderful. When they were babies it was a bit harder but I just made myself be more organised ie had the next feeds ready as I had a chance after the last one or making sure the nappy bag was repacked and ready for next time when I get home from an outing.
Have a good think about what is right for you. You'll know.:hugs:

[HousebumMum]

3 children is a massive difference to 2, so I can see why you are stressed. I agree with Jo, go and test yourself, so at least you know for sure.

[jag5000]

in some ways I think 3 close together would be nice.. they'd all entertain each other a lot.. and you would be in kinda the same 'stage' with them.

I have met HousebumMums kid's and they are so wonderful playing together! just gorgeous

honestly tho'.. if you have this bub or not (if there is one) is yours and your partners choice

[Mum2Bella]

laura133-this is going to be a hard decision for you but only you can make it.:hugs:

but if you do have the termination i do recommend you get the depo needle(last for 3mths),the rod(sorry dont know what its call but last for 3 years)or the mirena inserted.just so you dont need to go through this tough choice again :hugs:

[tomtom]

I was in this exact position after my first. There is no way known I could have coped with 2 so young. I went ahead with it and haven't looked back. I know I did the right thing for me and my family.

[laura133]

Thanks everyone for your advice.
I will be finding out tomorrow whether i am preg or not!!!
wish me luck!

[DoulaRobyn]

It is a scary position to be in laura133.... I can empathise, my second child was 10 weeks old when I found out we were pregnant. We found the best decision for the family was to go ahead and have the baby (and I don't regret it at all looking back)... this situation helped when I found out that we were unexpectedly pregnant again when my third child was 10 months old and furthermore I was already 13 weeks! (I had been on the pill and it had been masking all the pregnancy symptoms)

Now we have a family of four beautiful children... I do occasionally look at my last two girls and imagine if I had made different decisions and how different my life would be...

But the main question that my OH and I asked eachother was 'Would this baby have a positive impact on our family?" and then "would the positive outweigh the bad?"

For us the good outweighed the bad by far.

Each situation is different and unique though so you need to look inside you and see what feels right for you. Close your eyes and imagine the outcome of both decisions that you could make. Follow your heart on this one.

I wish you luck with your test.... PM me if you wish to talk.

[laura133]

Thanks Robyn,
See I personally wouldnt mind having another one! But i dont want to deal with all the crap from MIL.
Should have seen how she treated me when i got preg the second time.... We dont have a good history ;)
and as for DF, i dont think he would be able to handle having another one!

[Hooves]

Awwwwww:hugs:

This is something that only you and your partner can decide. You have to do what you believe is best for you, number 1, your partner number 2, and your family.

The extended family don't even think about them. They are not the ones who will have the joys and trials of raising your family.

Go with what your heart, tells you. For that is all you really ever have to live with. Yourself. Be true to what you want, not what you think others expect of you.


WE too considered termination, when I found out I was pregnant again, with this baby. 4 children did not appeal to me. BUT I know in years to come I would have had some issues with a termination.

I have issues with keeping bub too, but I think, for my family it is right. Even though it will be hard, financially, even harder.

Talk to others (partner, friends, doctor, counsellor, etc), and be honest about how you feel. Because at the end of the day, that is all that matters.

I hope that whatever you decide to do, you do it for you, not for someone else. :hugs:

[3blue&1pink]

:hugs:

What a hard decision. I wish you the best of luck without what ever you choose. Only you know whats right for you!