Too young for my second!!???? [Archive] - Bub Hub Pregnancy & Parenting Forum

bubbabelly

14-06-2006, 17:23

Niki

14-06-2006, 17:27

:hugs: i have a friend with 2kids and she is 19 and neva has trouble finding guys, it all depends on the guy i think there are alot of decent guys out there that wouldnt mind! :hugs:

Grizabella

14-06-2006, 17:35

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
Don't stress about finding a bloke honey! Your babies will only be a problem to guys who aren't interested in being a proper part of your life. They will probably do you a favour by weeding out *********. Just be proud of being yourself and a good mummy. Don't make a decision that isn't right for you. Take your time and follow your heart.

sugar n spice

14-06-2006, 17:45

I fell pregnant at 17, 20 and 22 so i was 18, 21 and i will still be 23 when my third is born. Sorry i cant be much help but go with whats in your heart but also consider how you may feel later on. It took love to make a child.:hugs:

Odessa

14-06-2006, 17:48

Im 18 and i have just found out im about 6 weeks pregnant with number 2!
I think i am too young to have a second child as my first isnt even a year old yet. This pregnancy was totally unplanned.
I am a single mother and this will be the last opertunity to give my son a full blooded sibling.
I worry if i have this baby i will never find a boyfriend because it is alot to ask someone to take on 2 kids that arnt his?
I dont want to have an abortion But i dont want to have another baby. I think its unfair to my son cos he is still a baby!
Has anyone been in this situation or have any advice?

Myself: Hollie
D.S. Hunter 18/06/2005
Bub Due: 3rd of Feb

Hi Hollie,

It sounds like you are unprepared for this second baby. You really need to think seriously about this decision, because you are the only one in the position to make a decision. Things to consider:

Can you support another baby?
Do you have any support yourself? (Emotional support, family, friends, etc)
Can you afford another baby? I know Centrelink benefits are available, but they're still modest.

I don't think that "the opportunity to give your son a full-blooded sibling" is a very important factor, but that's just my opinion. You are still young, you have plenty of time to expand your family when the time is right.

No matter what decision you make, you're sure to find support on Bubhub :thumbsup:

Cheers,

Odessa

Femme-Fetale

14-06-2006, 17:54

Hiya hun
Firstly your not to young unless you think your too young. and if u think you are too young, then arent you too young to have the 1st child too. Do u get what i mean. Your not to young. I bet ur more mature and set up then most others your age, so really a number refering to your age is simply just that, a number!!
I think the fact that this pregnancy will provide your son with a full blooded bro/sis is great!! Not that it really matters much these days but it is nice to know isnt it. Also i think your son would benifit from having a sibling, and would also give u some hands free time becoz the kids would play together while u got to do what ever needs doing. im a solo mother as well to a 1 yr old and althou there is no way in hell i would have another kid, i think it would be nice for him to have a sibling to share life with and grow and learn together. He wont be hanging off you for your attention all the time thats for sure. And the babies being close in age is a big bonus, they will get on better (just my opinion) then kids with a way larger age gap.
Futur boyfriends would be the last thing on my mind if i were you too. Just focus on you and your life for now. its clear u have alot of thinking and planning to do, regardless of what u choose to do. If ur not for abortions then it seems your going to have this child. It wont be that hard hunny, i know a girl who is 19 and is preg with her 3rd, shes 4 weeks along! Of course there will be changes and it will mean going throu those 1st yukky mths again but you will love your child and look back at this time thinking "what were u on about" lol :D
And also just think, for every single mother out there, there is also a single father some where too. Those single parents didnt just come out of thin air and not every mother/father split is for bad reasons and if they are, not always cos the man was bad. I dated a single father of 3 recently, but had to end it coz im leaving the state. he was a champion and his kids were great. Dont worry about men, when the time comes for you to start looking, u will meet plenty men who are willing and able to be with u and love your kids just the same.
I hope ive helped u put things into perspective some wat, i hope i dont sound like i preacher, i just want to help u through this, u sounded a bit lost, confused, or maybe thats just how i read it.
Anyhow if u EVER want to talk this out with me then pls feel free to add me to your MSN list, im usually on and will help u with any thing u need, or just let u vent away if thats what u need to do in order to clear your mind and make the right choices for YOU. Coz at the end of all this, all that matters is you and your kids, not me, not your family, friends and deff not a man that isnt even on the scene yet and may not even be for some time to come.
Chin up babe, and keep us updated wont you, u know we all care for you.

ROZA

dannii

14-06-2006, 18:27

Hi Hollie!
i just wanted to tell you to not stress about this. I was also 18 with 2 children and turned out to be a single mum to! (while kids were young)
I then went on to meet a guy and i worried about the same thing.. i more worried he would resent me later on for burdening him with a pre made family. But it turned out wonderful and he is fantastic to my kids!!

i couldnt be more happy ever!
Things can and will turn out alright for you!!
Please feel free to pm me if you need to talk or need some more support, im here :hugs:

brooke

14-06-2006, 18:36

hollie... :hugs:
I have no advice but I am sure you will make the right decision no matter what you choose....
Just because you have 2 kids doesnt mean you wont find a man! seriously it doesnt seem to matter to men these days!

14-06-2006, 18:39

Do what you think is best!;) No one can make the decision for you and no one should judge you for the decision you choose either regardless of what you pick.

Keep us posted on what you do though.

Good luck and follow your heart!:hugs:

bubbabelly

14-06-2006, 19:59

Thank you all for your support!!!

The reason i want Hunter to have a sibling is because i am an only child. I would have loved a brother or sister because i was always so bored and lonely.

Odessa: I have no support at all! My mum is the only person who lives in queensland (family wise) that could help me out and she is not a very nice person.
As for supporting another baby financially i think i could cope. Its just the whole thing of having to re-buy everything because i gave away all the things like the change table, bouncers ect....everything i thought i wouldnt be needing for YEARS!!!

Hunters dad and i were together until i was 14 weeks pregnant with hunter, then he hit me so i left him. He told me he was sorry and he would never do it again. Never the less it took me over a year to forgive him and i went back to him when hunter was 9 months old. A week ago he hit me again so i left him again. 2 days later i find out im pregnant!

I agree, Finding a guy should be one of the last thoughts on my mind and as of now it is.
I think i will keep this baby because my gut is telling me i cant get rid of it.

I think you can be a good mum at 18 and a bad mum at 35!!!

kadownie

14-06-2006, 20:05

You're totally right about being a good mum and 18 and a bad one at 35!

I have twins- so two very close in age (like one minute) and yes it is challenging- but they are such good mates- once you get past the new months- they will just delight in each other!!

Trust your heart and your mother intincts!

Femme-Fetale

14-06-2006, 20:09

Your a very smart girl, and i have no doubt now u will be just fine!! Good luck with everything darling. If we lived closer i would lend u the things u needed!

SamanthaJane

14-06-2006, 23:20

First- Sending you lots of hugs!!!:hugs:

I think you are so brave from walking away from this man! He blew his second chance out the window and he'll wake up and realise that one day! He'll realise everything he could have had and how easily he lost it! So:thumbsdown: to him his not worth it:no:

Everything will be fine, you just need to look to the future and keep your chin up. Think positive. These children have a mother who loves them more than anything in this world:hugs:

MumsieMel

15-06-2006, 05:36

Hi Hollie,

Only you can make this decision, and im sure you will do what is right for you.

I take my hat off to you for doing the right thing and leaving Hunter's father, no one deserves that! :hugs:

best of luck with your decision, we're all here if you want to talk! :yes:

LittleBoysRock

15-06-2006, 11:35

I just wanted to offer you :hugs: and tell you that you sound like a very strong and capable woman.

I understand that you would be feeling anxious about another baby and it is a choice that only you can make at the end of the day.

You will have as much support as we can offer at bub hub. I actually have a friend in almost exactly the same situation. Feel free to PM me if you need to chat.

Good on you for not staying with Hunter's Dad, you deserve better than to be treated like that.

shed

15-06-2006, 12:03

You need to take care of YOU as well as your baby or babies. You are important and your life and your dreams are important too.

Having a full blooded sibling is relatively unimportant in the grand scheme of things. You are obviously not going to take Hunter's Dad back any time soon, so having two children to this man is going to be all on your shoulders. Its a lot to take on for anyone on their own, no matter what age, but of course it can be done.

Hunter is probably the most important person in this whole scenario. Would having a full blooded sibling be the best thing for him, or would it be better for him to have a mum who plays with the cards she has already been dealt and takes the chance on an even brighter future?

Only you know the answer and I am sure you will make the right decision.

SassyMummy

15-06-2006, 15:35

I generally think that once you have your first baby...you're generally no longer counted as "too young" for any more. That's just my perseption though...

I think you need to consider what is best for you and the child you already have. I never would have had an abortion with my first (even though she was unplanned and I was 18 when I fell pregnant...), but now that she is born I'd put her interests ahead of any other baby that I might fall pregnant with...simply because SHE is here and I'd prefer to look out for her more than anything else.

If you don't have any support, it's going to be VERY hard. VERY hard. I find it hard having ONE child, and I HAVE support. Lots of it, in fact.

Money is important to look at...if you can barely afford to live now (I have no idea what your living situation is at the moment) then you'll probably be less able to live after the new baby is born. Combine THAT with the hectic life of being a single young mother of 2, with no support...well, it's just going to be VERY difficult.

As for full-blood siblings...I don't think it matters. If you grow up with someone, feeling as though they're your brother or sister, then they ARE. Blood really doesn't have much to do with it (just as if your blood-related sibling NEVER lived with you, and you met as adults, you may think of them as a friend, but perhaps not a close-bond sibling-type relationship).

Good on you for leaving Hunter's Dad...he sounds like a b*stard.

It's up to you as to what you do...but just make sure you think VERY CAREFULLY about it all. Don't let feelings of "what you're supposed to do" get in the way...do what you think is best for you and Hunter...nobody else.

bubbabelly

16-06-2006, 19:14

Well i still havnt decided what to do but i have my first ultra sound on monday to see if everything is all well and good so we will go from there....

I have requested councilling to help me make a decision as its not one i take lightly.

I was just wondering if anyone has had 2 babies this close (19 months) and if it was harder or easier???

Thank you

Femme-Fetale

16-06-2006, 20:03

Good luck with your scan.
Taking on councelling is a great decision too, wat a wise girl u are.
Best of luck to you with your choices, its not going to be easy but im sure you will make the right choice for you! And thats all that matters. Remember we are all here if u need to talk it out more at all or anything. Just remember that ok.
I know a girl who has 2 kids, about 16 mths apart and she copes ok with the help of her mother. This girl is also a single parent and a lesbian.

Briannabear

17-06-2006, 07:17

I was just wondering if anyone has had 2 babies this close (19 months) and if it was harder or easier???
My friend was only 12 months older than you when she had her first. She fell pregnant with her second when her first baby was 6 months old.
She found the first little while a bit tricky, but she absolutely loves it now! Her children are the best of friends and do everything together.
(and she has no support whatsoever. Her mum lives in a different state, and her dad is in America)

Good luck with making the right decision for your little family; but for what its worth, I dont think that age really comes into it when you're talking about your second child. Im sure you're a great mummy! :hugs:

maybe1more

17-06-2006, 11:42

I think the fact that this pregnancy will provide your son with a full blooded bro/sis is great!! Not that it really matters much these days but it is nice to know isnt it. Also i think your son would benifit from having a sibling, and would also give u some hands free time becoz the kids would play together while u got to do what ever needs doing. im
And also just think, for every single mother out there, there is also a single father some where too. Those single parents didnt just come out of thin air and not every mother/father split is for bad reasons and if they are, not always cos the man was bad. ROZA

I agree with Roza, even if things dont work out in the end for you darl, your two children will be to the same dad, which i think is great!!!
I think the age gap will be fine, maybe a little tricky at first but one you get a routine im sure you`ll be fine, my two brother are 11 months apart:eek:
I would of loved to have a 19th month gap between my kids but this didnt work out they way, instead ill have 3 years and 3 months gap!!!
All the best Hollie and i know you`ll find the inner strenght in you to do what you know is right!!! Keep us all posted and :fingerscrossed: :hugs:

Chickadee

18-06-2006, 11:40

I just want to remind everyone that if you are friends in real life to please not bring any personal grievances or differences on to the forum. I'm not saying anyone has, but it is very easy to do and we discourage it.

I think everyone has given honest opinions here so far, and I hope that everyone will support Bubbabelly regardless of her decision.

Mum&bubs

18-06-2006, 11:51

My sister was 17 when she fell pregnant with her DS & he was only a few months old when she fell pregnant with her DD & now she is coping fine so i have no doubt that you will cope one way or the other.
As for the comments from your "friends" on here ...... i think you need to support her a bit more & encourage her, tell her what she does great basically just listen & be a friend. Sounds like this is a time in her life that she really needs her friends around.
Whatever desicion you make just make sure it comes from your heart & im sure you will find alot of support here of bubhub all the best to you :hugs: :hugs:

bootiful

18-06-2006, 18:37

I am sorry to hear about your situation. I have a few questions

1) Did you use protection? (did it fail)
2) Why did you go back with someone who would raise their hand to you?

I am 25 with an 8 month old and I had an abortion when I was 17. Now that I have met my husband and I am very happy I dont regret having the abortion. At the time I was very hurt, and I ended up getting engaged to that guy and was with him for 6 years.

In the end everything works out. You need to make sure that you are ready for this next baby and only you can know that.... no one will hate you or judge you if you do what is right for you.

I agree with most other comments on that it doesnt matter if your son has a blood sibling or not. How much of a benefit would it be if you were broke and stressed out so much that you couldn't care for either of them.

Think of what really matters here. You need to be able to provide for you and your son.

As for a boyfriend, men come and go. If you are worried about finding the right man don't, he will be there when the time is right. If a guys judges you because you have 2 kids or 10 kids then he doesn't love you or your kids and you sure as hell don't need anyone like that in your lives.

I wish you all the best in your decision. I think you need to go seek some support. Your health nurse or even the clinics/hospitals can help you to find assistance emotionally and financially.

Hope all goes well and you choose the right path in life....who knows you might find the man of your dreams and have a whole bunch of kids.:laughing:

bubbabelly

19-06-2006, 19:02

Yeah its true, i struggled with Hunter when he was younger as i am a single mother with NO support but i love him and i did the best i could!!! It is alot easier now as Hunter is able to point at things he wants and communicate to me!

Yes i was on contraception, the pill as since going to new zealand i had started saving for a house and decided i didnt want any more kids and was intending to leave Hunter in Day care to get a job. It was something i had thought about but decided against because my future plans changed!

Remember mum2lucas and babyjiah, you 2 live with your parents!!! I think of you 2 as great parents yourself and would never judge you!!! Its not my place....

My parenting is very laid back. I dont stress hardly ever!!! If Hunter cuts himself i comfort him but i dont rush him to the doctor. Hunter is very spoilt and very loved!!!

I would do anything for him!!! You dont no what its like to be alone with no support so please dont judge!!!

Niki

19-06-2006, 19:27

i hope everything is going well for ya! how are u feelign about having the baby now? it sounds to me like u are doina good job i dont know wat i would do without the support i get

MummyoftheMuffins

19-06-2006, 19:33

Hi! I'm a young mum too, and single at that. So if you ever need anyone to chat to then i'm in brissy too so give me a buzz. I am in the middle of moving and won't be on here much untill i buy myself a computer and get the net again, but will be online checking every now and then. I also have some baby things that i could probably sell you for cheap, like a change table/bath etc, so like i said just give me a bell and i'll get back to you!

I'm also on msn messenger if you would like to add me just pm me and i'll give you my details! Hope to talk soon!

MissSparkle

19-06-2006, 21:21

bubbabelly Big :hugs: to you.

U know what ever decision u make all us bubhubbers will support you.

My best friend and her sister are only 18months apart and they have always been best of friends. Their mum said initially is was hard but once ur in a routine it all pans out.

Goodluck with ur decision!

~EmsMum~

19-06-2006, 21:23

don't forget to let us all know whats going on :)
:hugs:

Terrible2+1cutie

19-06-2006, 22:29

I have 2 boys 15 months apart, the first few months are the hardest but once you establish yourself into a routine etc it becomes second nature, i wouldn't change having my kids so close for the world cause they are the best of friends now and entertain themselves most of the time but they also get into mischief together lol. You sound like a very strong person so i think you will be able to do manage just fine.

Catherine

Mum to Blaze and Bailey

daisyxs

19-06-2006, 23:40

hollie,
dont feel that you have to justify the reasons as to y u went back to huters dad. those of us who have been unfortunate enough to have been in that situation already know the answers. :hugs: and as for barely being able to handle it, i think we have all had days where we would love to take them back to the hospital for a refund:laughing:
im 18 and i have two kids (2yrs and 8mths) it is hard, definantly but soooooooooo worth it when u hear that giggle or c that gummy smile, i wouldnt change it for all the tea in china so to speak.
but that being said i did have support so i dont know how it would feel not to have it.
the decision u make has to be best for u at this moment.
Daisy

Grizabella

20-06-2006, 00:29

Hollie, we all know you are doing the best job you know how, and I have full respect for you, especially seeing as you are doing this on your own. Good luck with the future, and I hope it all works out well for you.:hugs:

bubbabelly

20-06-2006, 07:19

Thank you all for your support!!!

Hunter hasnt gone to the doctors much in his life but i have taken him to hospital when he was very sick and he was put on a drip!! If Hunter has the flu or a toothache i treat him with homeopathic remidies rather than rushing him to the doctor for a course of anti biodics because one day he is going to need those antibiodics but his body will be amune! I dont try and influence people in what they do, parenting is such an individual thing!!! Everybody has different opinions!!!

Daisysx, LOL at your refund comment!!! Of course there a days like that.... But you do get over them!!! I make myself look so stupid just to see Hunter smile!!! Or i pretend when i chase him i cant catch up just to hear him giggle... Those times way overule the times you got frustrated or cried cos he wouldnt sleep or what ever....

And you will be proud to no i have antiseptic cream in my cupboard for all those life threatening cuts!!! :)

Terrible2....i too want my kids close together, although having another baby wasnt quite on the cards at the moment.... its hard to imagine that i could love another baby as much as i love hunter... i mean im sure i will but i love him sooooo much i wonder if there is enough love left??? :laughing:

I still cant decide what to do but i have more time than i thought..... I had my scan yesterday and turns out im only 5 weeks 2 days.....well 5 weeks 3 days now lol.... so that changes my due date to the 17th of feb..... I couldnt even see the baby, just a pregnancy sack so i have to go back in 2 weeks for another scan!!!

Thanks again

GoneBatty

20-06-2006, 18:00

Hey Hollie,

Dont worry about what those so called "friends" say. They are obviously not or where never good friends because if they had been they would never of said anything like what they did!

I think you are a great mum to hunter and ur giving him a great life! You are the best mum and you always will be no matter what you decided to do.

You are taking the best approach possible to the situation by getting councelling and all the bizzo.

Like ive said before no matter what u decide i know you will be the best mum.

Stay strong honey and take care of all 3 of you:fingerscrossed:

MumsieMel

20-06-2006, 18:08

Good luck Hollie :hugs:
You do whats best for you and your family!

draught

20-06-2006, 19:44

After an initial warning on this thread from a moderator people have continued to post personal attacks. They have been deleted but if it continues the thread will be closed and the offenders may be banned.

crystal3

20-06-2006, 20:26

:wave: Hi my name is crystal an im 21 with three children an i got married last year after having my third. When i met my husband i had two children to two different fathers an i would have rathered to children to the same father. My sister was in your situation an she aborted an regreted it badly cos she wanted the baby but wasnt with the father. i say if you want to have the baby do it as you will regret in years to come. its not that hard getting into a relation ship when you have two children.
i hope i have helped
good luck:)

Im 18 and i have just found out im about 6 weeks pregnant with number 2!
I think i am too young to have a second child as my first isnt even a year old yet. This pregnancy was totally unplanned.
I am a single mother and this will be the last opertunity to give my son a full blooded sibling.
I worry if i have this baby i will never find a boyfriend because it is alot to ask someone to take on 2 kids that arnt his?
I dont want to have an abortion But i dont want to have another baby. I think its unfair to my son cos he is still a baby!
Has anyone been in this situation or have any advice?

Myself: Hollie
D.S. Hunter 18/06/2005
Bub Due: 3rd of Feb

EskimoMumma

20-06-2006, 20:45

I think you are doing a fantastic job! I am 21 as well and expecting my third child. Don't stress, enjoy life, because soon, youll wake up and you are old and wrinkly and you have grandkids instead of kids to look after :crying:

ButterflyKisses

21-06-2006, 10:08

Hi Hollie, from what I have read so far of your posts you are a very very loving mummy to Hunter and I think you have more than enough love left to share with your new bubs.

For 18 you seem very together and mature for your age so I think with the guts and determination that you have you will make it no matter what.

You remind me of my mum (even though I didn't know her when she was younger obviously). My mum fell pregnant at 17, married my dad when she was 3 months pregnant, 1st bubs was born when mum was 18. She then went on to have another 5 kids. I was baby #6 and mum was 23 when I was born turning 24 the month after.

My dad was a canecutter and was hardly home so the rearing and most of the house upkeep was done by my mum. Approx 2 years after I was born my dad died from an accident and left mum a widow at 26. 18 months prior to my dad dying my eldest sibling died so there were now 5 children left.

6 years after my dad died my mum met a man (the same age as her) he had never married and had no children. She told him upfront she had 5 kids and that never ever put him off. They married when I was 9 and even though it was very hard for him going from supporting just himself to now be supporting a new wife and her 5 kids they just managed to scrap through. We were dirt poor but there was so much love that having nothing as kids didn't matter to us.

Mum struggled alot on her own trying to keep it together for us but she also struggled when she remarried as my stepdad only use to make $50 per week in those days (late 60's early '70's) and as mum was now married the widows pension (which was a pittance anyway) was now cut off.

You seem to be made of the same stuff that my mum was and still is. You put Hunter first before anything and if you have bubs #2 you will do the same for her/him no matter what is thrown at you.

GOOD LUCK with whatever decision you make, continue to be strong, hold your head up high and never take any notice of people's discriminatory remarks. You are a wonderful, loving, sacrificing mum and you should be so damn proud of yourself especially because you are doing it without help pouring in in all directions. Because you are doing it all yourself your children will be so proud of their mum - I am so proud of my mum for all the selfless acts she did and all the sacrifices she made for us children in those 6 years before she met my stepdad and remarried.

:hugs: :hugs: take care

Hokey Pokey

22-06-2006, 13:10

Firstly can I say that do not ever underestimate yourself, and don't ever think noone will love you because there is someone out there for everyone!
You need to really have a good think about this, will the father be around to help??
I wish you all the best!

bubbabelly

22-06-2006, 18:15

Thank you all for your support!!!

I yoyo with how i feel about this pregnancy! Sometimes im so keen to keep this baby and give Hunter another brother or sister but then theres other times when i wonder if another baby is too much. (i have a feeling im having a boy)

I really wanted to buy a house!!! But being single with 2 kids....no bank will give me a loan! I also wanted to go back to school but its alot easier to get someone to look after one baby then 2 and i cant afford to put 2 kids in daycare!!!

I am so stressed. I really want to keep this baby and if i was financially stable then there wouldnt be an issue!

I take my hat off to your mum butterfly kisses!!! She sounds like an amazing woman!

Has anyone bought a house whilst being single?

Niki

22-06-2006, 18:33

my friend is single with 2 kids and goes to tafe they have a free daycare there is there any around u with that?

bubbabelly

22-06-2006, 18:43

Yeah i looked into tafe with hunter but there is a waiting list to get into the day care (sometimes over a year) and its the normal price of any other day care!!!!
This is brisbane i am talking about...what city did your friend get free day care? Might be worth a move LOL

Sarie

22-06-2006, 18:50

My sis (who lives in Brisbane) and is a single mum sends her little girl to a daycare mum for around $10 a week, I think she's there for abour 25-30 hours a week.

bubbabelly

22-06-2006, 18:53

Wow i will definately look into that!!! That would be great!

Things mite not seem so bad after all!!!

Sarie

22-06-2006, 18:57

She is on the north side of Brisbane but I'm sure there would be others around. Give Centrelink a call you will be given a percentage of how much they will cover in fees and then how many hours you get at that rate. If your working or studying I think it's around 50 hours a week, but definately worth looking into!

Hokey Pokey

23-06-2006, 15:28

Just wandering how things are going?

bubbabelly

24-06-2006, 10:41

Well kristy i still havnt decided but im leaning more towards having 2 babies!

Im only 6 weeks so i still have a while!

Its such a hard decision to make.....

Thanks for your interest tho!

~EmsMum~

24-06-2006, 10:45

Well kristy i still havnt decided but im leaning more towards having 2 babies!

Im only 6 weeks so i still have a while!

Its such a hard decision to make.....

Thanks for your interest tho!

good luck sweety and keep us informed

YourSweet666

24-06-2006, 20:40

Just because you are young it doesnt mean you wont be a fantastic second time mother!

Every mother worries about their second child and how it will effect their life and the children they already have, but its just natural to worry and it doesnt mean it wont be the best thing that ever happened to you :hugs:

As for the guys, everyone is right. Any guy who wont take on your children isn't good enough for you and wouldn't have been interested in being serious with you.

Keep strong sweet xxxx

Acacia

27-06-2006, 20:44

Hey Hollie.

If i can give you one piece of advice, its to stay away from that jerk! You and your child dont deserve what that creep has done. Im so glad you walked away, but please dont go back.

I think the less you worry about a man, the easier it will be to find one, by that i mean that the best things happen when you least expect it!

I had an abortion when i was 19. It was the hardest decision i ever had to make, but it was also the best decision for the child. I know that sounds strange, but when all things were considered, i had nothing to offer a child. But as you will have guessed i am pregnant again, and this time i am very excited and extremely confident that i can give the child lots in the way of love, support, knowledge and reliability. I guess the point im trying to make is, if you can put your self in a neutral position, try an see whats best for the child, and that will ultimately be whats best for you to.

Stay strong, and best of luck.

mumma_jessy

04-07-2006, 23:41

First thing i want to say is only YOU know what is right for you and your child/ren! No one else lives your life, and is your exact position, so no one else has the right to judge!

Personally i could never have an abortion, not now that i have children and see what that little fertilised egg grows into, a gorgeous little life! But it depends on what situation your in, and if you think you can provide your child with all they need, including a roof over their heads, support, food on the table and most importantly love, and i have no doubt your capable of that after reading your posts about Hunter. In fact you remind me a lot of me, in our 'laid back approach!'

I have 2 children 20 months apart, i am lucky i have a partner, but i guess most mums know kind of what it's like to be a single mum, some dads don't do a lot and even those who do go to work all day! It's a bit to get used to at first, but after a few weeks it's second nature.

I was so worried when i was pregnant with #2 even though she was planned, how could i ever love two the same as i love the one i already had, is it possible to have that much love to give?! I can assure you there is!

My youngest has started crawling this week, and i see my babies playing "together", it brings tears to my eyes, it fills my heart and makes me so happy that they have eachother!

You seem like a strong, dedicated and loving person, and i'm sure there will be no shortage of men lining up to take care of and love you and your child/ren, that i wouldn't worry about! Plus like you said your young, in numbers, lol! You've got plenty of time to find that perfect partner.

Goodluck with your decision Honey, keep us posted and feel free to pm me if you want to! :hugs:

Acacia

13-08-2006, 17:48

Hey Hunters mum,
I wanted to say g-day and i hope things are going well for you. Whatever decision you make or have made i hope that any negative responces on here dont keep you away from getting support from other bub hubsers. I think people are really to quick to judge others...no one ever knows what its like to be you, so dont let them make you feel bad about anything you do.

I know some of my friends are mortified that i chose to keep the bub im having, considering he/she evolved from drunken sex with someone i didnt know overly well. He and i have stayed together and we fell hard for each other before i even knew i was pregnant, but some people are just too critical! Im poor, i own nothing but that doesnt make me lesser of a person.

I guess what im trying to say is please follow your intuition and dont be afraid to come back here. Feel free to PM me if you like.

I think your an amazing person and i have admiration for your strength.

Mum&bubs

13-08-2006, 20:07

Yes, how is it all going Hunters mum?

MuMmYmOo05

14-08-2006, 00:57

hello....

i think you should really think about what you want...... i am 18 and had my 1st baby at 17 (he is 8mnths old) and me and my fiancee are TTC#2.... i love kids and i want a few more....
But if your worried about finding a boyfriend, dont be..... its your children that matters most then a guy trust me.... me and my partner went our seperate ways when i was pregnant and i was single for most of it.... i used to say the same thing and think that ill neva find anybody..... but i did... i had a few guys wanting me but me and my babys dady got back tog ether and we are as happy as ever.....
So what i think is that you should think about what you really want... a family or a bf????? the right guy that loves kids will come around dont you worry :D

Lisa

bubbabelly

23-11-2006, 21:07

I know i should have let you all know what i decided but to be honest I wasnt ready to tell anyone...
Im not pregnant anymore...
In the end i didnt have to make the decision and all i want now is another baby!!!
Dont no what you have til its gone!
I thank you all for your support and im sorry again it took so long!

Kizmet

23-11-2006, 22:26

i only just discovered this thread and wanted to say i am so so so so so sorry for your loss :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: your little :angel: will be watching over you and your son.

Hannahs Mum

30-11-2006, 09:11

I'm so sorry for your loss.
The decision was taken away from you but perhaps in the grand scheme of things it was meant to be and you and hunter will go on together and perhaps in the future when the time is right your family will have another addition or two.

Acacia

02-12-2006, 16:44

Hi Hunters mum,

Im really very sorry for your loss. I hope that you and Hunter are doing well. I hope that you know that you have lots of love and support here.

Be good ti yourself and give Hunter a big hug.

:hugs:

suburban_mumma

02-12-2006, 17:53

i had my DD when i was 17 and my DS was concieved when she was 9 months both my kids were fathered by different men and i was a single mumma too.. now my DD is 4 and DS will be 3 soon and i am happily engaged so ifit worked for me it'll work 4 u.. u dont wanna be with a man who doesnt love you and your pre-made family. you've already said you dont want to have an abortion which if u say that then IMO u should stop even considering it cos if u dont want one but have it anyway it will be something u will regret it 4eva! trust me. but this is just my opinion... all your decision.. please let me know how u get on!! all the best 4 u
Naomi

suburban_mumma

02-12-2006, 17:57

i apologize i didnt read all the thread b4 posting.. i too suffered a misscarraige recently and feel for u.. hugs 4 u!!!

susiehomemaker

11-12-2006, 20:50

Hi Hollie,
age is just another number - dont worry about it! And as for finding another boyfriend, as the others said it will weed out the blokes who are not into you for the right reasons. My SIL had her first when she was 18, the second when she was 21. 2 different fathers, married and then divorced the second by the time she was 22. And she met the most lovely man (who had no children of his own- younger than her too!) whom she is now married to and they have had 2 children together. He treats her first 2 children as her own (she would not have married anyone who wouldnt) and he is just the best Dad to all 4 kiddlets. SIL was just very selective about who she would date, and did not introduce my now BIL to her children until they where quite certain the relationship was going somewhere. You are a mother regardless of what you decide with the latest addition, so you will find the same obsticals anyway. But ultimately the decision is up to you :-) *hugs*
We will all be here for you no matter what your decision, but dont make your decision based on what some future boyfriend might like or not like. If he is worth his salt he will like you for you and that will include your kidlets.