how early can we start??

[SecondTimeRound]

Hi there,

Not sure if this has been posted already....I'm far too exhausted to do a look around...my apologies!
We have a 2 week old bub and wondering if starting CC now is okay. With our son we started a little later cos he was a really settled newborn and there just didn't seem to be a need. Yet our bub#2 is just SOOOOO unsettled and is missing out on so much sleep. We've ruled out all the usual causes and just feel that maybe it's okay to give CC a go for a few days to see if it helps. Quite often bub will fall asleep in our arms, then suddenly (for no apparent reason) start screaming, then after maybe 3 seconds, fall straight back to sleep. ???

Really confusing.....VERY diff to our first son.

Any ideas/thoughts/advice??

[Mahjong]

Definately not on a 2 week old baby :no: They are still so young. They reccomend it anywhere from 12 weeks-6months. We didn't until DS2 was 6 months. You can encourage them to go to sleep by themselves, just not the crying side of it.

At 2 weeks of age, they definately dont have a routine when it comes to sleep, they sleep when they want etc.

I really dont have any suggestions for you other than what does bub sleep like in a sling for you? He may want you close 24/7, which is completely normal.

My boys both had reflux and were shocking sleepers from birth, but they slept on their tummies after finding the reflux out and slept much better and soundly. It's not SIDS recommended, but we had to do it.

[UsThreeGirls]

Sorry but :eek:
Please contact someone from your child health centre. It is not recommended for babies under 6 months. Also a Doctor to rule out reflux. Your baby might have some tummy pain from wind or anything really.
Way too early to even think about it.

[EmmasMummy]

Sounds more like he has a tummy ache if he just wakes up for no reason you can see and then going back to sleep. 2 weeks sounds a little too young to let him cry.
I did it to my bub at about 3-4 months though best thing i ever did, though she was just waking up because he was used to being held to sleep.

[AM]

CC is not recommended by any professionals before 6 months, (if ever)

At this stage it sounds as though bub has some issue like reflux or lactose overload, bub sounds in pain, CC isn't going to fix a baby in pain. Take bub to the doc to get checked out.

All the best

[Milliner]

Umm, NO. Babies cry for a reason. 2 weeks if far too young to let them CIO

[kezzaskids]

Dont do it! Im all for everyone doing wheat they think is right but NO! 2weeks is way to young. go to the local CHN and ask for help.

[Boobycino]

I personally would never say that I use 'controlled crying', but I do let Jasper cry to sleep. I know his cries very well - and that takes time - but I know a sleepy cry from a distressed cry really easily now, and I make my judgements on that, rather than the clock or a 'method'.

I allowed Jasper to cry for maybe 3-4 minutes when he was a couple of weeks old. I only let him cry as long as I was comfortable.

All bubbas are different, but Jasper would do a "awaaa awaaa oohhhh awaaa ooh ooh ohh awaa awaaa *pause* waaaaa awaa" cry, it would get louder and then softer and louder and softer, and slowly working downwards to sleep. He'd usually let out one great big screaming cry (that would often make me rush in) but if I waited 30 more seconds he would often be asleep.

If its more of a belting "waaaaa waaaaa waaaaa waaaaa" I would get Jasper straight away, as he would only be distressing himself, making it harder for him to sleep.

From 8 weeks I allowed Jasper to self settle 90% of the time - which he did, yeah he cried a little, but no more than 5 minutes usually.

He's 5 months old and he usually goes down without a fuss, sometimes he has a bit of a cry, but usually he self settles quietly. THAT said, he doesn't resettle himself. So, if he wakes up, even after 20 minutes, he wont resettle himself without me going into him.
I say, do what makes you feel comfortable. I wholeheartedly trust that the fact that you've posted the question means your aware of your baby and his welfare - as long as you keep listening and keep thinking about whats going on for him, I think you should be fine to start allowing him to learn to self settle.

- one other thing - Jasper used to cry in his sleep. For like 3 seconds, just long enough to get me to rush in, because it was a serious scream, but by the time I got there he was snoozing again.... maybe your son is doing the same?

-one more (i promise) thing - the first few times I did it, because it made me feel comfortable, as I am SIDs paranoid personally, because I started before Jasper had good eye sight and awareness, and he slept in a bassinet, I was able to sit on my bed and watch him cry from the otherside of the room, so, even though it hurt more to watch him cry, it felt safer to do it that way in the first few weeks I was doing it (from like 3-6 weeks old) It was harder after 8 weeks, because he could see me and would get more upset - then it was better for him for me to be out of the room.

[Mathermy]

I would strongly advise against doing what you are considering:no:

[Team Blue]

Please dont consider it for a 2 week old baby :no:

[nothanksbye]

ohh no.

dont do it please, sounds like bub has gas pains or something.

my bubs is 9 days and sometimes wakes up with a scream, we hold her close and pat her bottom till she calms.
we also find it helps to give her a massage before sleep and cycle her legs.


you need your bub to feel safe and secure thats what this newborn stage is all about.

[guerin]

Chel87 seems to have some good points. Do you know the difference b/w your baby cries?
When you say control cry how long were you thinking of waiting before going in 1 or 2 minutes if only that long I see now problem. Ok lets be honest you could be in the toilet or with another child. I did control cry very early and this was not my intention I just after birth was so exhausted that it took me a while to focus in on the sound. But this was more a control crying when she woke during a sleep and was for less then probably 5 minutes at the most. Yes she is an excellent sleeper, she goes to sleep for naps or nighttime by me just saying good night, and a very happy child but no I have no idea if my inadvertent control crying from exhaustion and slight deafness was the cause. However it is to say that from my own experience it did absolutely no harm at all.

But another tip sometimes my DD would have wind and at first I would hold her up to let the wind out or rub her back. I found that very gently pushing her ribs just below her arms would let out a big burp that the rubbing her back didn't do. It seemed that an air bubbles were caught just in that spot and this would 9/10 make her more comfortable.

But full control crying no way too young, but perhaps just give it a minute or 2 before popping in. Also perhaps minimal intervention such as just rubbing the back or touching her hand rather then picking her up may help.

[vickih]

I agree with Guerin and Chel87. I think that the words controlled crying can put people right off, but it all depends on what you mean by CC. It doesn't always mean shut the door and ignore the baby's cry. Definitely check to see if it is wind/ trapped gas etc. (I push farts out of my bub to relieve his gas- such a boy!)

I think 2 weeks is very early to start, but if that is what you want to do, then don't let anyone stop you. My sister did it from day 1, although i never could! I waited until maybe 4-5 weeks, which some people think is still very early! Personally, at 2 weeks, like chel87 said, I would let baby cry for a few minutes then comfort baby preferably without picking them up. When I started with by bub, I waited 10 or so minutes before checking on him. Now, at 3.5 months, I would wait maybe 20 mins, although he really only just grizzles and whinges before nodding off to sleep. if i ever hear a "Help! I need you NOW!" cry, of course I go in straight away to comfort and cuddle him.

Yes, call it controlled comforting if you must, but I reckon it's all the same. CC just has a bad reputation so I think people used controlled comforting to make it sound better. At the end of the day, it is about knowing your baby's tired signs, putting them to bed, recognising baby's cries and responding appropriately.

Do what feels comfortable for both you and baby. People have so many different opinions on the settling to sleep issue, go with your gut feeling. If you have had success with your previous bub, then give it a go (knowing of course that each bub is different and may not respond well to CC. Maybe then give it a go in a few weeks/ months).

Let us know how you go, good luck!

[peanutbutter&jelly]

That sounds like reflux to me :( Its the exact same thing that my son used to do - he didn't always throw up and he definately wasn't a good sleeper. I would honestly be looking at taking him to either the nurse or doctor.

[SecondTimeRound]

thanks all 4 ur insights :yes: i'm in the process of getting new teats for bubs bottles cos have maybe found a possible cause - drinking his milk too quickly and getting wind etc as a result.
Having said that, i still feel deep down that he's a "fussy" bub and just cries and grizzles in general.
At this stage i have NO intention of letting him cry for more than 3 mins (seems like a long time when its happening. Mostly i've waited only 2 mins b4 settling him.) I'm starting 2 get 2 know his cries, so when its a "i'm in pain" cry, i dont attempt the CC (ie. waiting 2-3 mins.)
It's just so hard cos whenever i put him in his bassinet he cries....and so going to the loo is just impossible. He's even unsettled in the sling...which keeps him upright...which is what i thought he'd like...:confused:
When it's your 2nd bub, its just not practical nor possible 2 hold bub and carry him around with me everywhere. Plus DH and I are just so sleep deprived (as is our 3 yr old) from all the crying bub does in the nighttime.
We did mild CC with DS from about 2 wks old (VERY mild CC) and now he's just so independent with going to sleep and resttling. The longest time we'd ever let him cry for (intense unbroken crying) was about 5 mins. Off and on grizzles weren't counted or timed. Any high pitch screams were attended to immediately of course.
I can't remember the last time he called out in the night for me to come in. He just loves his bed and his sleep. He's a very happy little boy.

yet this bub could be very different....who knows....i guess i've gotta wait it out and try to survive this unsettled period until it "hopefully" passes.

[veve]

at 2 weeks ... I would wonder if your milk (I'm sorry .. I didn't read how you are feeding him) .. has settled in properly too .. its early days (life is so up and down in the first 12 or so weeks) my sons and I didn't settle into ANY type of routine till at least 16 weeks ... if FFing .. I would check he isn't reacting to the formula too ..

I really think its way to young to start .. bub's comprehension of what is going on is so minimal at that age .. :hugs: so he cant really grasp that you aren't coming to get him when he is upset.

Both my boys were very windy too .. and would cry lots with the pain - they weren't hungry .. just miserable .. and bouncing up and down on a physio ball was the only way to calm them (did wonders for my calves too :laughing:) ... so if desperate .. try one of those!! worked wonders with my boys .. even very gentle bouncing/ rocking on the ball

xx
Jen

[cmd'smum]

at 2 weeks ... I would wonder if your milk (I'm sorry .. I didn't read how you are feeding him) .. has settled in properly too .. its early days (life is so up and down in the first 12 or so weeks) my sons and I didn't settle into ANY type of routine till at least 16 weeks ... if FFing .. I would check he isn't reacting to the formula too ..

I really think its way to young to start .. bub's comprehension of what is going on is so minimal at that age .. :hugs: so he cant really grasp that you aren't coming to get him when he is upset.

Both my boys were very windy too .. and would cry lots with the pain - they weren't hungry .. just miserable .. and bouncing up and down on a physio ball was the only way to calm them (did wonders for my calves too :laughing:) ... so if desperate .. try one of those!! worked wonders with my boys .. even very gentle bouncing/ rocking on the ball

xx
Jen

:iagree: