I thought our relationship was stronger then this.

[Poppetfish]

i am a big fat lier and i love my DH more then anything and i was incredibly stupid to make up lies about him and my MIL.

I have hurt him a lot by what i have written and i am sorry.

I have a problem with telling lies and i need to get help. It was wrong of me to bring my problems on here and i am sorry.

[Cathy3]

wow ok. Your going through a lot at them moment. A few things stood out in your post. How unhappy u sound is one. He montiors your internet, u dont have family or friends? It sounds like hes isloating u. I have no idea why any parent would want their child to have austium. (plz to any parent with a child with austium dont take offence) We all want a healthy happy child. I think your hubby has his head in the sand. U think your parent again? How old is your baby? You need to look after yourself to be able to look after your children. Go see your doctor ask him for advise. I hope things get better for u.

[Bunnyhugs]

I don't know what to say :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

Totally not helpful at all I know, but you sound like you need a good hug.

[jag5000]

wow.. you have a lot going on and I feel for you.

:hugs:

sounds like a difficult web to untangle yourself from.. don't let yourself become isolated. At the very least stay on the forum at best try to re-connect with family and friends. Don't let your DH effect your self esteem.. you sound to me like a wonderful mum and a lovely and intellegent person.

:hugs:

(I must admit I'd like to say 'get out! leave him at once'.. but I understand it's more complicated than that. Just protect yourself.. pls :hugs:)

[Me]

I have no words of advice but :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

[nsmonkey]

Oh hun :hugs::hugs::hugs:
I am really sorry that you have to go through all of this escpecially at once.
Maybe your DH might, might come to terms once your DS is diagnosed. Well :fingerscrossed: that he does and that he has a wonderful wife and a very caring mother for his children.
I know how you feel about the isolation, I go to playgroup once a week and thats about it. I don't get along too well with my family and DH has just said to shut them all out, but my dad.
Its hard it really is. :(

[EmmasMummy]

Oh hunni,
You are a great Mum and it has been proven over and over in what you said in your post.
I agree with jag5000 get out of there but it is never that simple I know.

Would it be possible for you to go to couples counselling or even for yourself. DH and I had very different fews on some things and nearly was the end of us but we went to a counsellor who convinced him of a few things. Now we are alot happier. Not perfect (who is?) but moving forward alot better. Do you know how to clear your history on the computer?? It is not right for him to monitor what you do.
Could you talk to your DS doctor about how your DH isnt accepting your DS condition could he talk to you DH???
I know easier said then done ... but Dont let him walk all over you... Your a great Mum doing the best you can to cope.

[cheezelz]

Hiya Berni

I agree that no one would want their child to be developmentally challenged or have autisim. Whay would you push the subject if it didnt concern you. In the end I think you are doing a great job. If the worst happens and the relationship between Dh & you falls apart your DS will reply on you for everything. In this case you will need to help him grown into a independent child and strong, confident man. I think you are doing the right thing by getting things checked now. If it ends up bring nothing then you can rest.

I am wondering where in adelaide you live. Im in the northern suburbs and am always up for a new friend. I have 2 DD's. If you want a coff or chat I can give you my numbers. We also do a few catch ups with mums off here if your interested. Or mothers groups I can get you in contact with.

xxxx

[gizmoduckus]

Do you think that maybe he is lashing out because he is scared? Men have a different way of handling things than what women do.

I think counselling might be the way to go. I think you have both lost how to communicate with each other and I don't think this will get better until you both open up.

Your MIL sounds like a nightmare but I think you first have to deal with your relationship before you deal with anything to do with her. Just ignore what ever she has to say now.

:hugs: It sounds like a hard situation.

[TeenyT]

Two things stand out. He is adamant that you not homeschool due to the fact that teachers are educated and trained to do this job. Yet he is not willing to accept the diagnosis of doctors and specialists who are educated and trained in the field of medicine simply because their medical opinions confirmed your fears?
Secondly he denies your DS has a problem and yet tells you he cannot cope with his behaviour?

No wonder you are confused, upset and feeling isolated! :hugs: I agree with the others that counselling might be the way to go. If he wont, you go for yourself as his controlling behaviour is going to destroy your self esteem, if it hasnt already. It might be a case of fear of the unknown for your DH but that is not an excuse for him to treat you the way he does. I hope he is willing to do this for his family and start supporting you instead of building impossible barriers for you to scale. The PPs have suggested staying here on this forum and I think its a good idea. Whether your DS has a diagnosis or not, you still need someone to talk to for you to vent out your fears and frustrations. Hope it all works out for you and your DS gets a diagnosis soon. :hugs:

[cmd'smum]

wow.. you have a lot going on and I feel for you.

:hugs:

sounds like a difficult web to untangle yourself from.. don't let yourself become isolated. At the very least stay on the forum at best try to re-connect with family and friends. Don't let your DH effect your self esteem.. you sound to me like a wonderful mum and a lovely and intellegent person.


(I must admit I'd like to say 'get out! leave him at once'.. but I understand it's more complicated than that. Just protect yourself.. pls :hugs:)


Oh hunni,
You are a great Mum and it has been proven over and over in what you said in your post.
I agree with jag5000 get out of there but it is never that simple I know.

Would it be possible for you to go to couples counselling or even for yourself. DH and I had very different fews on some things and nearly was the end of us but we went to a counsellor who convinced him of a few things. Now we are alot happier. Not perfect (who is?) but moving forward alot better. Do you know how to clear your history on the computer?? It is not right for him to monitor what you do.
Could you talk to your DS doctor about how your DH isnt accepting your DS condition could he talk to you DH???
I know easier said then done ... but Dont let him walk all over you... Your a great Mum doing the best you can to cope.


Hiya Berni

I agree that no one would want their child to be developmentally challenged or have autisim. Whay would you push the subject if it didnt concern you. In the end I think you are doing a great job. If the worst happens and the relationship between Dh & you falls apart your DS will reply on you for everything. In this case you will need to help him grown into a independent child and strong, confident man. I think you are doing the right thing by getting things checked now. If it ends up bring nothing then you can rest.

I am wondering where in adelaide you live. Im in the northern suburbs and am always up for a new friend. I have 2 DD's. If you want a coff or chat I can give you my numbers. We also do a few catch ups with mums off here if your interested. Or mothers groups I can get you in contact with.

xxxx


Two things stand out. He is adamant that you not homeschool due to the fact that teachers are educated and trained to do this job. Yet he is not willing to accept the diagnosis of doctors and specialists who are educated and trained in the field of medicine simply because their medical opinions confirmed your fears?
Secondly he denies your DS has a problem and yet tells you he cannot cope with his behaviour?

No wonder you are confused, upset and feeling isolated! :hugs: I agree with the others that counselling might be the way to go. If he wont, you go for yourself as his controlling behaviour is going to destroy your self esteem, if it hasnt already. It might be a case of fear of the unknown for your DH but that is not an excuse for him to treat you the way he does. I hope he is willing to do this for his family and start supporting you instead of building impossible barriers for you to scale. The PPs have suggested staying here on this forum and I think its a good idea. Whether your DS has a diagnosis or not, you still need someone to talk to for you to vent out your fears and frustrations. Hope it all works out for you and your DS gets a diagnosis soon. :hugs:


:iagree: with all the above. He needs to share this difficult time with you and help you get through it, not completely disregard your thoughts on everything.

Your son is very lucky to have a mummy like you. No matter what his diagnosis, I'm sure you will do your very best to help him any way you can :hugs:

[Sparklydreamer]

Firstly, big hugs to you. :hugs: You're dealing with a lot right now and I really feel for you.

You sound like a fantastic mum. It must be difficult having to organise the specialist appointments and go through all that emotional drain without the support of your partner.

As others have said, it sounds like your DH is scared and denial is his way of dealing with your son's problems. The nighmare MIL you have isn't helping either, encouraging him to send the blame your way. I would be trying to avoid talking to her at all costs right now.

Maybe you can talk to your doctor about your DH's reaction - they might be able to give you strategies for coping with it and breaking through the wall he's building up. I'm also thinking there might be support groups for parents with developmentally delayed children that can offer some specific advice too? Even though you don't know what exactly is causing your DS's problem, I'm sure that the support groups (for eg for autism) will have parents who have had similar relationship problems with a partner refusing to recognise the problem and they might be able to offer practical suggestions.

I'm sorry that you're going through this. Please don't let your DH isolate you or destroy your confidence. You're doing a fantastic job in difficult circumstances and you deserve some real support. :hugs:

[cmd'smum]

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