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Heartsdesire
14-06-2006, 10:09
Hello every one im new to the board , my names Lisa and im from adelaide and have been looking for a place like this for a long time. I hope my experience can help others and that in return i may be able to take that load of my shoulders that i have been carrying for far to long.

My first pregnancy was in 1996 i was 17 and had just broken up with the father 2 weeks before i found out i was pregnant, the pregnancy went along perfectly i didnt have morning sickness and the only problem was i didnt want to go into labor alone my son was born 2 to 3 weeks past the due date but a healthy 8 pounds 13 it was the best experience and made me grow up very fast.

I met my husband when i was 22 we both played everquest and he was from sydney after meeting he moved over in 2002 at that time i was on the pregnancy needle and soon after was put on the pregnancy chip as a trial in 2004 we married and i had the chip removed a week later.

4 months later to my surprise i started feeling different i didnt have morning sickness just sore breasts i went and had a pregnancy test and it came up positive. At 8 weeks i woke up one morning and noticed pink on the tissue after i wiped i really went in a panic but a midwife at flinders hospital said to relax and rest up but if it got worse to come in.... the next morning to my relief the spotting was gone but i had a backache and a headache and ended up going back to bed.... i remember waking 4 hours later i dont know why but i rushed to the toilet and a clot the size of a large orange came out and i started feeling sick and faint..... a ambulence was called as i was hyperventolating and couldnt breath.

After spending a day in the hospital and not being able to have a ultrasound as it was a sunday i was sent home and told to rest and if the bleeding didnt stop to come back on thursday. I went home feeling unsure..... i didnt know if the baby was alive i honestly fealt so lost and soon i started blameing my self " whjat if " , the days were long and i dont know how i got through it my sanity was pushed to the limit most nights i cried my self to sleep and often my husband said i mummbled and talked in my sleep and said things he wont ever tell me what i said though..... on the thursday i went back to the hospital but i had to stop on the way and i passed a sac the nurse explained it was a blotalclast pregnancy and in reality though there was a sac there was no fetal pol and that there wouldnt of been a baby.

It took me months to get over the loss and im not sure if even today im fully healed... what made it harder was my cousin who was born 1 week apart from me the same year was pregnant at the same time our babies were to be born 1 week apart to..... she had her son on the day my baby was due and though i thought i was healed i fealt cold and shattered inside it hurt even worse when i saw him for the first time. And then seeing other mothers with new borns made me feel so cold.... and i bought a pregnancy test every month just to make sure it became more than just checking it became a obsession..... which i tried to keep secret from my husband i didnt know how to admit that i had a problem.

nearlly 1 year later i fealt different it was 2 weeks before my period and i had been sick a couple times in the morning i did a pregnancy test it came up negative 2 weeks later my period hadnt come i had another pregnancy test and found out i was pregnant. I was more reserved this time i just didnt feel happy in the back of my mind i wasnt sure this baby was ok.... 2 weeks later i started bleeding again.... i went to hospital had a blocker as im A- blood and they did a ultrasound it showed a sac but i was only 4 weeks which was normal.... after a week of needles and having to wait until the week before xmas 2005 i had a ultrasound which showed the sac had not changed i then passed the sac 2 days later the nurse called it a blotal clast pregnany which i didnt really know much about.

I pleaded with the doctors to check why this was happening it took me to see 4 different doctors to find one that said what was happening wasnt normal.... i had all different blood tests and they found i was prediabetic i was put onto tablets and changed my diet to a low GI one and lost 25kgs in 3 months. On april 2nd 2006 i had my period since the diet change and tablets my periods had gone more nomal and i was feeling great i then started to vomit again 3 weeks later i had a feeling that i was pregnant again.

At 5 weeks i was given blood tests my blood lvls were high, my hormones are perfect and even my suger lvls are in the low... but i needed to see this baby to know if there was a sac or heartbeat ect... at 6 weeks i had a ultrasound done and the baby had a heartbeat of 150 ! and to be honest i breathed after seeing it i really am so happy this time and feel so positive..... Maybe the angels are looking out for me this time though im really careful now i rest allot more and eat allot more and im trying to keep relaxed and allow nature take its course. Some times there is light at the end of the tunnel but its early days and all i can do is keep healthy happy and keep smileing. i cant wait until i see my little one again.

Please if you do have any spotting go see a doctor dont allow it to wait, and hope that it goes away and rest ! we tend to take things for granted i have learnt rest does wonders. And lastly remember its not your fault if you miscarry time has made me learn that things do happen for a reason and you gotta stop blameing your self, now i can move that weight thats been on my shoulders for the last 2 half years...... if you have read all this thank you i know its long.

Angelinalily
14-06-2006, 19:48
Congratulations on your pg :smiliedance: - I hope everything goes well for you.

So sorry to hear about your pg losses - it's never easy to deal with, and it sounds like you have had a long hard journey.

I have had a one m/c and could have written the following myself.

It took me months to get over the loss and im not sure if even today im fully healed... what made it harder was my cousin who was born 1 week apart from me the same year was pregnant at the same time our babies were to be born 1 week apart to..... she had her son on the day my baby was due and though i thought i was healed i fealt cold and shattered inside it hurt even worse when i saw him for the first time. And then seeing other mothers with new borns made me feel so cold.... and i bought a pregnancy test every month just to make sure it became more than just checking it became a obsession..... which i tried to keep secret from my husband i didnt know how to admit that i had a problem.
My best friend was pg and due at the same time - I thought I was better - but when she had her baby I felt crushed all over again. I cried for a whole day, before I pulled myself together and made myself front up at the hospital. Of course I was deliriously happy for her, but it also brought back exactly what I had lost :crying: . Anyway - just wanted to let you know someone out here in cyberland understands a little of what you have gone through. I also had HPT obsession - I used to hide them under other things in my shopping trolley, in case anyone I knew saw me at the shops :o

Once again Congratulations and all the best with this pg. let us know how it all goes.

Blessed Mum
14-06-2006, 21:43
:fingerscrossed: for you this time around heartsdesire. Thankyou for sharing your story. Please keep us updated as your pregnancy progresses & rest up

:hugs: Tara

mum2angels
15-06-2006, 09:05
Congratulations on your pregnancy. I hope all goes well for you this time. I totally understand how you have been feeling. Our first baby was stillborn, then I had two m/c, and am now pregnant again, but am so scared. When are you due?
Take care.

Jodie

cmd'smum
15-06-2006, 11:43
CONGRATS on your PG!! :smiliedance:

It is awful to experience a m/c.

I had one m/c at almost 13 weeks gestation :crying: . We are TTC again and am excited about getting pg again, but scared at the same time as I don't want to go through the same thing again!

I guess this is every expectant mum's fear, even if she hasn't m/c, we all worry to a certain degree. Just remember that so many women m/c and go on to have healthy babies!:yes:

:fingerscrossed: for you, take care of yourself and please keep us updated on how your pregnancy is going!

SuperWoman
15-06-2006, 15:09
Congratulations on your pregnancy!!:smiliedance:

My heart goes out to you and what you have been through in the last few years.

Good luck with your pregnancy and please keep us posted on your pregnancy progress.

Take care and rest up!!:hugs:

dee dee
15-06-2006, 16:03
Thanks for sharing your story with us. It sounds like you have been through a lot.

Congratulations on your pregnancy, I hope that everything works out wonderfully for you.

Take care of yourself.