Chores and money

[MumOfTwoBoys]

I recently came across an interesting article by a childern's psycologist and she made an interesting point about household chores for children and payment. She said that it is not right to pay children for performing hosehold chores because doing the chores is an essential part of being a family.

I know many people give their children pocket money for doing something around the house. I, however, agree with the psychologist mentioned above. Just think about it: for this social unit a.k.a family to function properly everyone has to contribute something. The result is (supposed to be) a secure environment where you can feel comfortable and find support whenever you need.

Nobody pays me for doing the dishes, ironing, cooking, etc. Neither does my husband get paid for doing the shopping, looking after the bills and mowing the lawn. I think it is a privilege to be part of the family and your chores are your contribution for this priviledge.

I know many of you see nothing wrong in paying your children for the chores. May be you are right. Just presented another view on the subject and wanted to know your opinion about it.

[the_queen]

Great point, and I agree completely. Vallerie has some jobs for which she gets "paid" ie when we go shopping she gets a $5 to spend as she wishes, but she also has a money box that she puts the change into. Sometime she puts the whole note in there, sometimes she spends it all. This is per fortnight, btw.

But also, there are jobs which are on her "list of things to do" that she doesn't get paid for. I've got them on the list purely so that she gets in the habit of doing them every day (eg make her bed; hang up kindy bag) but I make a point of explaining to her that she doesn't get paid for them, because everybody has jobs to do that they don't get paid for, it's just part of life.

[mum2bubba]

I agree also, you want your children to pull their weight and if you pay them they will only do it to get money (or whatever) when they grow up and move out they will expect to get everything just because they have helped someone out (iykwim)
Hayley doesn't get pocket money at the moment coz shes not even 2 yet, but when she starts school at age 5 and a half I will give her maybe $5 a week or something like that, but if she misbehaves then a 50c will be taken off each dollar so at the end of the week if she misbehaves 3 times she is left with $3.50 and so on. Also she won't be allowed to take money to school to spend at the tuck shop (also it could get stolen) I also want to teach her about how to save and spend properly so for example if we're out somewhere and she wants to buy something for $7 and she only has $5 I might say to her "you haven;t got enough" or I might say to her "I will lend you $2 but when you get pocket money next time you only get $3" I want to teach her responsabilty with chores and money but separatly. :)

[SassyMummy]

I think that I will be paying my daughter to do "chores" when she is old enough to do them.

I sort of agree with the psychologist, but considering children can't work until they're 15...how else are they supposed to get money? By doing nothing at all and just expecting it? I'm certainly not giving my daughter any allowance if all she does is laze around and not help out!

I won't expect her to do much (I think it's kind of unfair to expect children to do things like wash the dishes and bring in the washing...at least not until they are teenagers anyway...)...but if she WANTS some extra cash, then she can earn it by helping me out.

If she cooks dinner, I'll give her some money/a reward...if she washes the dog, I'll pay her...etc etc.

[MumOfTwoBoys]

I think it's kind of unfair to expect children to do things like wash the dishes and bring in the washing...at least not until they are teenagers anyway

Could you please say a bit more why exactly it is unfair to ask the childrten to bring in the washing? I quite often do it together with my 6 y.o. I take it off the line and he will take piles of clothes inside. It is not a hard or unpleasant job. What exactly did you mean by "unfair"?

[mum2bubba]

I don't think its unfair either, children need to learn responsabilies which are age-appropriate (sp?) I had to make my bed, do the washing, help set the table, clean up my room and any other mess I made (including vaccuming) feed animals, take out rubbish, make my own lunch for school the list goes on...
At the moment Hayley pretents to clean up (she gets the dust pan and brush out of the cupboard and sweeps the floor :laughing: )
when she is older she will be helping around the house, as for pocket money when she starts school I will give her $5 a week but it will just be a treat, if she misbehaves then I take money off her (as well as other punishments), but like someone else said I don't want my daughter thinking that she only does housework just because she gets paid, everyone has to pitch in and help its part of life.

[mumof5sarah]

I agree with you cassie. Having 5 kids it would be impossible for me to do everything for them, they have to learn to help themselves. I do most things for them but when I do need help I expect them to do it. Usually it's just simple things like putting the rubbish out or unloading the dishwasher or tidying their room. I don't expect too much though!!! My kids all get pocket money every week, but how much they get is determind by their behaviour and attitued more than what chores they do.

[SassyMummy]

Sorry, I don't think I explained myself properly.

YOU taking the washing off the clothesline, putting it into a basket, and your child carrying it inside does not = a chore IMO. I don't think that is unfair...that's just something you do.

I DO NOT think it is wrong to expect that your children tidy up after themselves...if my DD makes a mess when she's older, I'll expect that SHE cleans it up. But then again, I don't count THAT as a chore either...that's just general tidiness.

I think bed making and such is just general cleanliness...and isn't a "chore."

The main thing I have a concern with is children not getting paid for the "extras" that they do. I will expect my daugther to keep her bedroom tidy, and if she makes a mess anywhere else then I'll expect her to tidy it up. I'll expect her to do all of that for free. I won't, however, expect her to wash the dishes etc without getting paid...because she WON'T just be cleaning up after herself, she'll be cleaning up after other people as well. I think she would deserve to be compensated for that.

As for ME having to do the dishes for free etc...well, I'm an adult. I CAN go out and get a job if I want to, in order to earn money. A child cannot.

[Bessie]

I pay my 8 year old daughter a small amount if she does jobs over and above what I'd usually expect of her. I'm quite fussy and she'll only get the money if the job is done properly. I actually think it's a good way to teach her about earning and managing money.

I think it's interesting to contrast this with my own experience - I was always given what I wanted as a kid and was very lazy (used to come home from shopping and moan about having a headache rather than putting the tins away) and my parents never taught me much about money. I had a right shock when I left home and racked up some debts. For ages I was afraid to get my head around bills and so on, my hubby was good at this but only recently have I taken some control of the family finances and it's going well now. I was also very very messy and disorganised. It's quite shocking when you realise how much debt people in our country are in so I think it's important to teach these skills at an early age.

I think it's about balance though, it wouldn't be right to pay money for jobs the children should be doing already. We also need to teach good habits and organisation, plus the value of things. I think this has to start at a fairly early age and maybe leaving it until they are old enough to work in a shop is too late.
Interestingly, my daughter tends to save her money and rarely spends it on herself, she loves buying presents for the family... so she certainly isn't spoilt by it.

Although I don't have an amount of money paid for doing my housework, I don't think I can really compare this to my daughter doing chores since I still have some financial independence - for instance, I don't have to ask hubby if I want to buy a coffee when I'm out. So I think that's different too.

[Elijahsmama]

When DS starts school i will probaly give him a small amount of pocket money to do what he wishes with it, however if he's been misbehaving he wont get that weeks pocket money. He will also get age appropriate chores and if he decides to put up a fight by not wanting to do those chores he will get punished and privlieges removed (ie. pocket money, toys, etc). Basically what im trying to say is that it will be his general behaviour that determines whether he gets paid or not which will coincide with his chores. So he might be a little brat one week but regardless of him doing his chores he wont be getting paid!

[misskittyfantastico]

I had my regular jobs to do as a child and wasn't paid for doing them. If I wanted money to buy something I would do extra things. My mum always said that everybody in a family has to contribute.

[Rell]

From the age of 2 1/2 my DD began to do regular jobs (setting table) and from 3 she began to get pocket money. Her pocket money was not for doing her job but we feel it is important to teach kids about money and savings from a young age. half of her pocket money she must save and put into the bank and the rest she can spend.
I know some people are amazed that my kids have jobs so young (DS has just started helping untsack the dishwasher) but as I see it everyone has an important roll to play in our family and the kids need to learn that mum are not just there to clean up after them.

[Elijahsmama]

Well said Rell. Children need responsibility, so many get by with their parents wrapped around their finger. I have worked with alot of different children and know what they are really capable of so Elijah will start getting chores very early on - probaly end up being more of a hassle for me at first but i think if you make it fun they wont feel as much of a burden later in life when they know what chores really are!

[Funkychicken]

We have just begun to give our two children pocket money but they have been doing what we refer to as 'part of the family' jobs for some time. They have these jobs to do but have taken on a few extra responsibilities to 'earn' some pocket money. We manage a farm and share the PO Box with the owners so each afternoon the children ride their bikes the 5oo or so metres down the lane to collect our mail. This is a pocket money job and also is giving them some responsibility to do a job without any adult with them between houses.