seperation anxiety... by me

[kyannas*mum*]

not really sure how others feel on the situation, please tell me you feel the same and i am normal:laughing:

i have dramas being seperated from the kids, the only person i feel safe having the kids is my mum, besides short day visits im fine other people with them, just long and overnight trips, i feel like every single time i need them looked after its my mum that has to do it, she loves looking after them and is more than happy to do it she moved from vic to be closer to them,

i feel bad that i do it and feel that dh must wonder why his parents never get asked to look after them, but i honestly dont feel at ease when they do the whole time i worry that she may have left the door open or something stupid like that, she just is very different to my type of parenting,

i feel bad that my parents are all that i feel no problems with, although i tend not to use dad much as he and my stepmum have a 2 and 1 year old so its a bit much to have the 4 under 3 going nuts

anyway im rambling i just hate being away from them feel like im too protecting of them, the thought that something might happen to them when im not there and they are with someone else is awful,

how do u get over feeling this protective or is that just what comes with being a parent? should i just suck it up and let them go places more often?

[kyannas*mum*]

im not the only crazy one am i:o

[MummyStar]

I feel where you're coming from although our DS goes to Kindy 3 days a week & I feel totally comfortable with him being there nobody else has ever babysat for us.
We've been invited to a Wedding in June & we're not allowed to take him along & I don't know what to do :confused:. The Wedding starts at 2.45pm & it's about a 1 hour drive from home & we wouldn't be home until after the reception & I just don't want to leave him with anyone. I can't see us going to the Wedding at this stage & I feel a bit silly about it as I have friends with a son the same age & they are always going to parites & Weddings etc....I know her Mum lives around the corner & helps her heaps but I don't feel comfortable for DS not to have us home to feed him dinner, bath him & put him to bed & go to him if he wakes up. I'm not sure what the solution is but if you're only comfortable with your Mum looking after the kids & she's happy to do it then follow your heart, maybe when they're older you'll feel more comfortable with other family members looking after the kids but don't ignore your feelings.

[bada]

I totally get where you are coming from! So to me you are normal, to the rest we may not be :p

I have spent about 20 hours away from my DD in the year she has been in our lives. Those 20 hours she has been cared for by her dad :o

I'm completely paranoid about leaving her with anyone else. A lot has to do with all our family and long term friends living interstate. I think if they lived here I might be more inclined to leave DD with them for an hour or so, but I could not handle having her gone much longer than that. I would miss her too much anyway. It's crazy i know but I just see time flying by so fast, and I don't want to miss a minute of her :cloud9:

I think worst case scenarios when i think daycare, like what if she died, I'd never forgive myself. I was talking to a friend about it today and it was quite an eye opener to hear her list the injuries her child had received while at home in the care of her doting parents vs nil injuries in daycare. Made me realise how over the top I am in my thinking, but I still can't shake it. I just think if anything were to go wrong I want to know that I was there to do the most I could for her.


Sorry for so much :ecomcity::ecomcity::ecomcity:

[kyannas*mum*]

thanks its nice to hear im not the only one lol, as you said yes my mum is happy to and for now that works well, dd is in 1 day at kindy and i am good with that actually cause i no shes looked in an cant escape easily she would have to get through 3 locked doors first:laughing:,

mummystar i feel for you about the wedding im like that sometimes, if i no mums working and dad isnt going to be home ill just tell dh to go, if its just for a party or something, nothing too big, as for having to be home to feed and stuff im ok with that cause i no they love going to mums and she spoils them rotten its just at others i worry.

Mummum81 i am the same worst case scenarios i always drop them off so no one has to drive them lol but i honestly dont have probs with kindy its outside of kindy where they can easily get out and stuff, its not really so much dd its more ds now dd is 3.5 so nos more whats going on but ds is only 1 and he would be strait out that door.

anyway thanks for your advice its nice too no that others feel this way too and im not the only paronoid mum:(

[em1984]

oh my god I COMPLETELY relate! Sometimes I feel so damn irrational! I think, for me, I feel like no one else is as fiercely protective of him as I am (even dp!). I feel like Im the only one who can care for him 150% , which deep down i know is ridiculous, but i cant help it. I get pressured into leaving him with both grandmas once a week for a couple of hours, and I can never completely relax (although they are the only people I WOULD leave him with). I had a wedding a couple of weeks ago and I left him with my mum and I just could not get into it and have a good time, by about 7 I was ready to go home and just snuggle on the couch with my boy, I really really missed him. I think it is also that you have your way of doing things, you know they work and you know they're safe, and the thought of someone doing things differently is scary! I remember I left him with dp for a couple of hours once and I came home and he had put him in his cot to sleep, when I went in Noah had his wrap literally wrapped around his head! I went ballistic. Its things like that I just think I'm much more vigilant and wary of and I worry others won't think like I do iykwim. Anyhoo, I'll join the overprotective club! :D