rejecting dad

[cjb/jbvd]

DS has decided he doesn't want his dad. he'll play with him for about five minutes and then cries for me. he won't be held by his dad if i'm there and he goes looking for me around the house.

it takes about half an hour to an hour for DS to settle down when he realises i'm not there, and even then he doesn't want to play with his dad and would rather amuse himself.

what's wrong with my DS??

did his dad do something to upset him or is he just going through some kind of bizarre stage??

any advice would be welcome, as ds's dad is feeling a bit hurt as he goes to a fair amount of effort to see ds as much as he can.

[Chickadee]

There is nothing wrong with your son. He may just be starting his clingy phase and you're the lucky winner to be clung to. It might last a week or two, it might last months. DD went through this, came out of it, and now has started again. If DH tries to comfort her in the night he gets told to go away and DD screams for mummy :rolleyes: . I know it's tough on your partner, but it's nothing personal against him.

[SassyMummy]

I would just think of it as a clingy stage...

DD is a bit like that...however, she's fine when I'm NOT AROUND at all. If I'm around, she'll whinge and sulk and prefer that I hold her (though, she's actually starting to like to "swap" who holds her...I get to for 2 seconds, then she wants Dad for 2, then she wants me again...etc).

However, when I LEAVE her with her Dad for a bit (as in, I go out somewhere..like shopping or whatever), she'll be fine again! She just likes to put on a show for me.

I would assume that your DS is just going through a phase...surely he won't be that way forever. I understand that your DP would be feeling quite left out (as my DP does when he can't get DD to stop crying...but a simple pat from me sends her to sleep...lol)...but there's probably nothing you can really do. Sorry.

[Elfin]

Yep I agree with the others, it is just a phase. Martha is right, next week you could well get the flick and dh will become flavour of the month. It is nothing personal they just go through these funny little things. The only advice I have is encourage your ds and dh to spend some one on one time togetehr, it might help.

[melbryan]

My son has an attachment to me something bad and every time I used to leave he would scream, now closer to two he has moved on a little and has gotten so much closer to his dad, playing, disciple and relying on him for lots of things. I think as he has got older I have told him to go to dad alot more rather than doing everything for him like i used to. e.g. daddy wil change your nappy, feed you, bath you or put your shoes on. I am trying to train him to ask dad before me as our new bubs is due soon, and he will have to ask dad or wait, especially if I am feeding.He was bad as a young baby but has slowly grown out of it. I beleive it is something they go through but it will soon pass. Poor dad's they feel like they are not needed but it will change soon.

[Tisme]

My DS did this for around 3 weeks ... didn't want DAd to even look at him. It was hell because I was at UNI and didn't really have that much time to settle him into the idea that I was going to school and Dad was looking after him. After that three weeks though the little blighter swapped and didn't want anything to do with ME. And it cut deep, but as I was doing child psych as one of my studies I asked my lecturer and she laughed and said, "don't worry, next week it'll be the bloke next door." it's the childs way of learning how to assert themselves, their needs, their wants, and their seperation anxieties. It's normal. as long as you DH keeps telling him he loves him anyway and doesn't try to force him to play with him, he'll come around.

When DS decided to play on Dad again he did the opposite, he said "fine you don't want me I'll go" and would sit on the other side of the room away from DS and leave me to deal with him. I often was asked "dad no like" why does dad not like me ..... and that was hard.