are you happy?

[mum2littleman]

hey girls, wanted to know if any one else feels like me, i no there is the dating thread going so maybe others do to but as much as i love my son{his my world} and as much as i can tell ppl how happy i am with my life im not i dont want to be alone anymore, i didnt want to be a single mum{ i would never change things ever dont get me wrong} but i wanted everything the hubby the house the baby and the dog lol but now its just me and bub sumtimes makes me think where did i go wrong:( i love my son and i no he is going to grow in to a great man sum day because im there to help him every step of the way and love him forever but i always feel like im missing a big sumthing..

i go out with friends and there partners and i see the daddys holding the babies and then i feel bad me and luke only have each other i think it would bring me to tears if he was old enough to realise that his the only one out of his friends that dont have a daddy his only got a mummy that loves him more than both ever could..:(


__________
The Mummy-Louise 20{Lou}
The Baby-Lucas 6months{Lukey}

[SimplyMum]

I feel the same way. I tried explaining this to my Mum last night and she looked at me as if to say 'You're weak'. I know DS is the most important thing in my life but I, like you, wanted the package. Going on picnics, to the park together. What fun is a picnic with just Mum? It is hard, and also harder to think of the chances I have as a single Mum of meeting someone responsible enough for there to be any kind of long-term relationship. If I couldn't find anyone when I was single and childless what chance do I have when I'm a single parent?!

Anyway, that's my rant. I'm done. Now to the job at hand, looking after my DS, the most important job I will ever have.

[lovingmumof 2now]

Do you know what really sucks???

I was a single mum for the first time 5 years ago and felt like both you girls, I ended up hating my partnered friends and their hubbies out of jealousy and scowled at all men who looked like a good hubby.

And here I am again with a baby and a single mum again, truly not wanting to be in this situation and not happy.


The hardest thing I reckon is not being able to share the funny things about your kids to their father. And noone asks single parents to bbq's or picnics.

But the catch is, I rushed in too quick with my babies father and by the time I found out what he was really like, I was pregnant.

This time I will promise myself and my children to take it slow (if anyone ever comes along).

[mummy sam]

Yep and it's the nights that i find the hardest. I wish i had some one to talk to cuddle up to on the sofa. It's the same in night in night out, Once bub is in bed it's like well what now.
I also wish i had a partner to do things with on the weekends, cause that's when your friends with partners are busy and again it's just you and bub, and yes i love him to death and wouldn't change it for the world but sometimes it just gets soooo lonely.

So mum2littleman your not alone

oh and how good would it be to have dinner cooked for you :yelclap: :smiliedance:

[claireandbailey]

I feel exactly the same way, I get so jealous of other mums who have their husbands or boyfriends helping them out.
I love my life and i wouldnt change it but i just wish sometimes i had a partner to share it all with. I know wat u mean about at night when i put DD to bed and i sit and think wat next and i end up sittin on the computer to all hours.
Its sort of a no-win situation. I want a partner but i dont want to be dependant on him and get hurt. and i dont want my dd to become attached to anyone and they leave.
How good would it be to sleep in every now and then!!!

[mum2littleman]

thanks for the reply girls, im glade im not the only one feeling like this i tryed telling sum ppl before how i feel but no one gets it they dont understand:no:
they just tell me it will happen when it happens .. i dont think anyone could say how they would feel unless they had been through the same thing.

i guess i just miss a hug every now and then or sumone to wake up next too..

but at least every morning i have a happy baby with a big smile on his face when he see's his mummy it's good to know that sumone loves you..


__________
The Mummy-Louise 20{Lou}
The Baby-Lucas 6months{Lukey}

[tyler's mum]

Louise i know how you feel,, know one really understand what its like unless they are a single mum or dad,, and even then every one feels something different but at the end of the day we are all longing for love and the happy ever after...

tyler is my world and i wouldnt change haveing her for anything,, but at the same time im not happy with my life i have'nt for a long time tyler is the only thing that keeps me goin every day....

sometimes i want a man and i think he will make everything better,, but i dont know if thats the answer sometimes??? i dont do well with men and i dont wont tyler to met them and become attached to him [whoever it is]

i will offen talk to my mum or mates about how i feel and they all say the same thing... you have tyler and you are doin a great job,, you turn will come to met the right guy???

not what you need to hear all the time... sorry :ecomcity: :ecomcity: :ecomcity: just know ur not alone and anytime you need to talk im sure anyone of us single mummy will be more then happy to listen:yes:

[Mum2Bug]

Hi everyone. Im new to this thread so hope you don't mind me butting in here but i know exactly how you all feel. Since Bug's birth i have had to relationships, both which were disasters and have left me with some major trust issues. I've gotten to the point now that as much as i would love to have someone in my life to kiss and cuddle and share Bug's milestones with, is it really worth going through another year like the one i just had?

I'll admit to feeling unloved and fat at the moment which i know doesn't help but i've not got a lot of self esteem left at the moment because of those two guys. The first one did a number on me and the second one found our age gap and my daughter to be major problems (after assuring me they weren't problems when i was worried about them)
:crying:

I've now started to avoid my couple friends as i get so jealous of what they have and its got them wondering what they have done wrong. i find it so hard to explain tho.

[~EmsMum~]

trust me I know how you feel, I can remember when I was pregnant with my DD, I used to go to the antenatal classes and I used to get so upset seeing all the happy couples there together. It made me feel like ****.
Even when I go out shopping now and I see couples with there children it hurts.

:hugs:

[Mum2Bug]

that was actually the reason i only went to the first 2 classes and not the remaining four. i was the only one there without a hubby or boyf.

[mummy sam]

yep and that was the reason i decided against going to them......

[Mum2Bug]

I wish the hospitals had the resources to run separate classes for single parents (to be) who can just go along with family/friends or even on their own and not feel out of place. I felt like **** being without my childs father (we were still together at the time) but it wasn't possible as he lived 700km away and was working in the mines. There are so many more single parents out there these days and yet we are still looked down upon when it comes to some things that were once only done by couples. Hello we are people too! sorry! major soapbox topic for me

[babyboo]

Bugger, i just wrote a huge post ........and lost it all......my net cracked it.....damn.


Anyways in the short i was saying that i know exactly how you guys feel. Im always feeling alone these days - day in, night out, so dont worry your not the only one.

Ya know everyone says to me, there are heaps of single parents out there - well, apart from us - WHERE R THEY????? When ever I go somewhere with dd and do stuff everyone i meet is married or with partner........... which makes me feel even more alone and microscopic.

The fact the my (almost) 3yr dd runs me ragged doesnt help, more tantrums than smiles these days. :banghead: I swear if i wasnt at work part time i would go completely mad.

To top it off i was seeing a guy for the past 5mths (when it suited him), but not much towards the end and he ended it over a txt message - **** huh! So the whole trust thing has been dented a little. Now i still wish i had someone to be with but at the same time dont want to have to deal with someone else - IYKWIM.

Dont worry i too sometimes find myself a bit envious of couples when im out, wishing that i had someone to hold my hand and cuddle me and interact with dd. And I too find that no one wants to hang out with a single parent, all my family (brothers & sisters) are married with their happy little families and i feel like the black sheep of the family and dont want to be a burden. Everyone seems to have a life except me........ how did that happen!!!!!!:eek: and ya just feel like no one really understands.

Well, i could just keep writing and writing, but i'll stop my vent now. :rolleyes:

[Mum2Bug]

babyboo - spot on. know how you're feeling. the second guy i was seeing just didn't speak to me after a harshly toned sms and when i msged him 3 days later i got the whole (and i quote) "its not you , its me, i just need more time". So i told him to take all the time he wants, i wont be waiting around at the end of it

[mum2littleman]

i guess im better off not having a man if this is what they are doing to u guys, i just dont get it, we did nothing wrong yet still are alone and other ppl{not meaning anyone in perticular} can fall preg and even if they were the worst person to there partner they stay wit them or get back with them..
i no i have DS and yes he gives the best hugs and just one smile from him can light up my life but im still not happy :o i did go through a stage where all i would do was cry caz this was not the life i wanted.. well i dont cry anymore but i still dont have the life i want, i dont want to live at home, as much as i love my family.. i dont want to bring DS up alone{he should have a daddy he did nothing wrong} and i really done want to be alone..:(

:hugs: hugs for everyone that needs one as i know thats the one thing i would like most days..


____________
The Mummy-Louise 20{Lou}
The Baby-Lucas 6 months{Lukey}

[Mum2Bug]

mum2littleman - i know this probably wont help but :hugs:
we all know how you feel. i would love to have someone in my life to curl up and cuddle on the lounge with, my mum even wrote 'plenty more fish in the sea' after the last one crapped on me 3 hours before my birthday. anyone want a weekend of fishing with me? just remind me to throw back the blowfish that are full of air this time!

[babyboo]

gees deanne, u sure we weret seeing the same guy lol :p cause i know the "its not you babe, its me and I just need time". cause that is what i was told for the past 3 mths and then all of a sudden he pulled the pin.

I went to my sisters dd b'day party today and (as usual) was the only single parent in the entire place. I felt so inadequate, cant really relate to the women, cause they are all in there perfect lives and by god dont look at any of the men the wrong way or ya likely to have ya head sliced off from his wife - because of course I have a sign blinking over my head saying SINGLE PARENT. But the kids had fun and thats whats important. I was introduced to one lady and gees did she look me up and down (did she want to make it any more obvious to me).

Do you guys ever feel like ya just dont know where you fit in society??????

I must admit a couple of times i was fighting the tears back as i sat there watching the other kids play with their daddies and dd would go up to play and they would be preoccupied with their kids - so she would just walk off (with that disheartened look so i would go up to her and she'll just run away from me), breaks my heart :crying: - welling up just thinking about it. I just never feel like I (we) fit in with anyone anywhere.:banghead:

[Veritas]

I haven't had bubs yet but I do get where you guys are coming from, though I have a slightly different tact on things....

I stuck it out with antenatal classes... which I took my sister to... although it was slightly awkward for the first couple of sessions, we were integral members of the group by the end.... I think people need to be around and involved with single parents sometimes to appreciate its not just a case of "typical lower class young mums with no morals" that a lot of people think single parents are... (sorry if that offends anyone)....

I get pangs of loneliness from time to time, but then I think of the times I felt lonely when I was with my ex, as he wasn't affectionate, caring, nor did I feel like he challenged me in any way..... I realise that it doesn't take anyone else to make me a whole person, I have to do that myself..... I have to believe in myself, my beliefs, my abilities and realise I am all that I need... I am the only one that can provide myself and my bub with a fulfilling and successful life, no man or person can do that for me.....

I guess that if you portray the image of being a single mum above everything else, then that is all people will see.... that is only one small part of me, I have so much more to offer, and have had nothing but good things said to me by friends, both guys and gals.... and there are always going to be those guys out there that are so judgemental they can't see beyond the cover.... but quite frankly they are not worth the breath... its just a matter of developing a keener sense of judgement and setting standards you won't go below!!

Your life is only what you make it!!

[Sare83]

QUOTE: "I wish i had some one to talk to cuddle up to on the sofa. It's the same in night in night out, Once bub is in bed it's like well what now"

:crying: Uh huh, know that feeling!! I'm happy 90% of the time, I think of what life was like with my ex (the biggest baby of them all), and I'm glad I'm single. Also when it comes to things like shopping ... being able to buy whatever, go wherever, and not have to answer to anyone. But yeah, I miss the cuddles and kisses.

[Mum2Bug]

It really bugs me that people think so little of single parents. dont they realise that many of us are single for bl*#dy good reasons? My DD's father and i stuck it out despite a 700km distance and not being able to have the chance to get to know each other. we tried but in the end i knew i wouldnt be happy with him as much as i wished i could be. and i honestly believe that Bug will grow up feeling more secure in our love for her with us apart than she would if she grew up knowing we were only together for her sake like my parents did!

Babyboo - i have the perfect way to get out of having to pick up drunk bf's......ive never bothered to get my license so i cant do it. hehe!

[mum2littleman]

ive been thinking about it latley and was wondering do u think that ur ex would tell ppl they have children?

this may not apply to all but for me my ex left at day 1 of finding out and wanted nothing to do with us so do u think he would be telling ppl he has a baby??

i no it took him untill i was 8 and half months preg to tell his mother about bubs, he told his father when i was 4 months and his dad said it was best not to tell his mother at all and he was glade he was having nothing to do with me..
i guess he gets being a A** off his father.

[Mum2Bug]

mum2littleman - im so sorry to hear that. If thats the ways he is tho the DS is better off without him as a father anyway. im lucky that my ex is very proud of having his (2nd) little girl. he loves both his kids (to two different girls) but he always rings atleast once a week, tells me to give her a kiss and cuddle from him, and makes an effort as much as he can despite being 700km away. he was in perth a few weeks ago for countryweek and happily introduced me and our daughter to people who didnt already know us. he even spent time with her during games and took a couple of extra days off work to be with her.

Do you want him to be a part of DS's life? Is he likely to want access in the future? Because at the moment i doubt he tells anyone he has a child unless he wants to make himself look good and then probably tells a bunch of lies! Sorry! Dont mean to be so harsh

Youre doing a wonderful job with DS and i think that as long as he is happy and secure with you, thats all that matters

[Veritas]

ive been thinking about it latley and was wondering do u think that ur ex would tell ppl they have children?

this may not apply to all but for me my ex left at day 1 of finding out and wanted nothing to do with us so do u think he would be telling ppl he has a baby??

i no it took him untill i was 8 and half months preg to tell his mother about bubs, he told his father when i was 4 months and his dad said it was best not to tell his mother at all and he was glade he was having nothing to do with me..
i guess he gets being a A** off his father.

Oh my goodness this sounds exactly like my situation.... the only reason he told his family was because I hounded him so often to do so..... he told his dad first then took two months to tell his mother.... her response was that she wasn't very pleased..... it appears the whole family has made the decision not to have anything to do with bubs, just because the ex doesn't want to ever be involved....

I think its a shame that they don't think with their own heads.... do they realise they are going to miss out on their first grandchild.... if image and material goods are the most important things to some people, then I feel pity for them, because they are missing out on the best and most rewarding things in life... and they are the ones that will never truly be happy!

My ex doesn't have much choice about people knowing, because we met through an activity we are both involved in... and I made the decision that I was not going to give up going to games and participating just because he chooses to deny and ignore his child.... if he finds that too awkward to cope with then he can leave.... I'm not changing my life for his sake..... I don't believe that he has told his "best friends" though.....

I too hold that view Deanne..... in a way I am not as upset as I "should" be about him chosing not to be involved... I want my bubba to have the best in life... and that means the involvement of people that love and truly cherish her in her life.... and not some half hearted attempt at fatherhood out of a sense of obligation.... I hope I can instill in her a sense of and strength of character that her father would never be able to give her!

[Mum2Bug]

I too hold that view Deanne..... in a way I am not as upset as I "should" be about him chosing not to be involved... I want my bubba to have the best in life... and that means the involvement of people that love and truly cherish her in her life.... and not some half hearted attempt at fatherhood out of a sense of obligation.... I hope I can instill in her a sense of and strength of character that her father would never be able to give her!
well said. after all, its for our children that we do all this for anyway. its their health and happiness that are our top priorities! i only wish that these guys could see what amazing little people their kids are growing up to be everyday. the lessons our children teach us about ourselves and about who they are as a child of this world, our world, are invaluable.

[mum2littleman]

Do you want him to be a part of DS's life? Is he likely to want access in the future? Because at the moment i doubt he tells anyone he has a child unless he wants to make himself look good and then probably tells a bunch of lies! Sorry! Dont mean to be so harsh

Youre doing a wonderful job with DS and i think that as long as he is happy and secure with you, thats all that matters


i did when i first found out i was preg, but now i dont i wouldn't want DS to get hurt and i no thats all he would do- his friends and drinking would come first:mad: they always did over everything!

and as for the funture i hope not! of course i will be telling DS who he is and how to get in contacted with him if he would ever like to meet him- when his old enough to make his on mind up about him - i want DS to have a happy life i dont want him getting hurt as i no he will never be there for him..

i asked him when DS was a few weeks old if we could talk but all i got back in an email saying u expected me to drive all the way to you i have a busy life and just so u can talk write me an email ..

well i was going to ask him if he wanted to start seeing his son i thought after looking at what he helped make would make him fall in love like i did but i didnt bother i wrote back telling him i never asked him to come to me and that i have never asked him for anything he dont give us money or even ask how we are and that i only live 10 mins away from him that its not far to go to see ur own childand that i no how busy he must be going out every thursday friday and sat drinking with his friends and only working 3 days a week must be a hard life!
:mad: i dont care that i came across as a b**ch i just throught he was so rude i dont even no how we worked as a couple in the first place!:confused:

DS is better off wit out him- but i do always think is he thinking of him dose his family think about him now that they no his there first grandchild, they would have to think about him when they see other babies or baby outfits in the shops and things right? maybe not
i dont see how a whole family could just turn a blind eye to whats apart of all of them..

[Gribel]

Hi All
guess we are all in the same boat....I met my DS father at work - ok, not the smartest thing I did in a long time, but believe me, a baby was never planned - we were only seeing each other for a couple of weeks..
Anyway, i fell pregnant, and at that stage we were still talking to each other - and everyone at work knew what was going on. As my pregnancy progressed we started fighting more and more, i blasme it on my hormones at the time AND the fact that i listened to people who believed they knew everything better. So I was a real B*** to him, but that said, he wasn't a cavalier either, he made it pretty clear that he doesn't want anything to do with me OR Bub - ever. So when Bub was born I made a point of going into work and made him look at his son, but to no surprise he didnt respond at all. After that I did try and talk to him, for the sake of my son, but no luck. The first time we talked again was when he was served with the CSA Papers, and he denied being the father so we had to get a DNA Test done. Of courde he was(is) the father, and he told me that he will pay cause it's his responsibility but he doesn't want to see or have anything to do with him. By that stage I was back at work, but I left now, cause A) I didnt want to see his face everyday and B) everyone at work knows what's going on and try to get involved in our situation.
I know for a fact that he hasn't told his parents yet that he has a son, I have no way of contacting them cause I dont know their first names and they moved, and I'm unsure if I have the right to look for them. I want to, so I can be sure that I did everything possible for my son to have contact with his grandparents, but .....you get the picture....
He's back with his ex - they brike up before we hooked up - so I don't even know if she know's, but then I dont care.

He is paying child support, still has no contact with DS and in a way I'm glad he's not part of our lives anymore. Although it would have been nice for him to know his father, and I told Sean - DS' father - that the time will come that DS will be looking for him, and he has to be prepared for that.....

Sorry to :ecomcity: :ecomcity: , but I feel better now....

:p

[*Chels*]

Im just gonna crash the thread!
Im not a single mum,I have a great DF and I know Im lucky.
Ive just been on holiday for 2 weeks without my DF,so was sortof a single mum temporarily.It was hard,but nowhere near as hard as you girls have it.
I just wanted to say that not all partnered mums look down on single mums.I have great respect for you,its bloody hard looking after a baby,let alone doing it by yourself.You all deserve the HUGEST pat on the back!!!
I think its sad people judge you,but if they are they are just losers!!!And if I knew you all IRL,I would never not invite you to something,just coz youre single!!I like people for who they are,not their "status"
Your babies are lucky to have such great mummies.So what if their daddies arent there,they have one person who loves and cares for them.
I grew up without my dad after a messy divorce.Its done me no harm,I never sit there and think"man,i wish i had a dad"
And Lou- Im sorry you are feeling so down.I often worry that you feel left out with us coz u dont have a partner.I just want you to know that we dont care,we love you and Lukey!Mark adores Lukey too,so if youre out with us and feel sad coz the daddies are holding the babies,just give Lukey to Mark-he would love it!
If you ever wanna talk,or need a break from Lukey-we are here!!!

:hugs: to all you girls!You rock!!:hugs:

[Veritas]

- his friends and drinking would come first:mad: they always did over everything!

but i do always think is he thinking of him dose his family think about him now that they no his there first grandchild, they would have to think about him when they see other babies or baby outfits in the shops and things right? maybe not
i dont see how a whole family could just turn a blind eye to whats apart of all of them..

Man.... do we have the same ex.... LOL

I can completely understand where you are coming from.... but at the end of the day they are the ones that are missing out on your wonderful little man.... and they are the ones that have made that choice.....

I am never going to lie to my little gal about the way things went.... of course there's some details she doesn't need to know, but I will be honest with her, and give her all the help she needs.....

Just think of it this way.... when your little man grows up to be a fantastic kid, you'll be the one that can take pride in that!!

[mum2littleman]

__________________________________________________ _____________
[QUOTE=Chels21]
Lou- Im sorry you are feeling so down.I often worry that you feel left out with us coz u dont have a partner.I just want you to know that we dont care,we love you and Lukey!Mark adores Lukey too,so if youre out with us and feel sad coz the daddies are holding the babies,just give Lukey to Mark-he would love it!
If you ever wanna talk,or need a break from Lukey-we are here!!!
to all you girls!You rock
__________________________________________________ _______________


thanks chels, your a great friend all you girls are that i see yes i do get down about not having lukes dad around but im glade that i meet you guys we can always have a good old chat and lukey just loves playing with riley and the other bubs, i do sumtimes feel a little :o whenwe are all out as its just me and luke but after a little while u girls and guys just have a way of making us feel welcome and just like we fit in even no its just the 2 of us so a very big thanks for that:wave:
o and lukey just loves playing with mark too he can always make him smile..:hugs: thanks again chels for the kind words

[mum2littleman]

Man.... do we have the same ex.... LOL


Just think of it this way.... when your little man grows up to be a fantastic kid, you'll be the one that can take pride in that!!


:laughing: sounds like the same ex to me ...

and thankyou i often think that he will grow up to be a btter perosn because of me ill be there for him for the rest of his life to help him grow up RIGHT! and in to a real man sumthing his father was never..

[Mum2Bug]

Chels - thanks for letting us all know that in your eyes atleast we are doing good jobs. not many people realise that it can be hard and it takes them having to do it to realise that we may make it look easy sometimes but inside we aren't always freewheeling thru our days. we just get on with it and make do with the situation and make our kids lives the most secure and loving as we can.

[mum2littleman]

[FONT=Franklin Gothic Medium]He is paying child support, still has no contact with DS and in a way I'm glad he's not part of our lives anymore. Although it would have been nice for him to know his father,


im sorry that he has no contact with you and your DS but the upside is he is paying child support, im sure one day you will meet a nice guy that DS can look at as a father and love him just as much if not more than if he was his own..

:devil6: sumtimes men really are evil:devil6:

[LizzardLover]

You know, when i first broke up with my ex my daughter was about 2 weeks old. I just knew things wouldnt work and was happy at the thought of rasing my daughter alone.

Over the next 18 months i did start to feel some lonliness, but as my daughter got older and began interacting more with me etc... the less i felt that lonliness.

Now here we are, she's turning 4 in 3 weeks and i'm LOVING being a single mum. In the last few years i've gone back to school and completed my VCE and this year i'm doing Nursing/Aged Care. Next year i'm doing more Nursing and the year after that i'm off to UNIVERSITY. These are things i would have never done with a partner i'm sure, i'm doing them to make a better life for me and my daughter.

Sure, it's hard financially to be alone but we have a nice little unit were renting, and some pretty nice furniture. My daughter has most everything she could want for and i manage to put food on the table.

I do get lonely, i'll admit that straight up but i call my mum most days for a chat and through school i get to interact with other people. If i were to sit home all day every day with only my daughter for interaction, i'd be VERY lonely. Finding something to do that was *for me* really helped. I'm now looking forward to our future. Buying a house is in my 5 year plan as is a new car etc... ALL by myself. I LOVE the fact that I can be a success and be happy without a partner. If one comes along, fine, but if not I know that I'll be Ok!!

One thing i might add is that someone back in the thread said something about "where are all the single mums". Can i just say that there ARE alot of us single mums out there it's just that alot of us dont advertise the fact ;) One lady i've known for about 2 years only found out the other day i was a single mum because she saw my pension concession card LOL she thought i was married ;)

[babyboo]

Anne - thats great that you have done so much study. I am currently studing aswell - diploma of marketing external through OTEN.

How do you manage your study time on your own??? Do you do most of your study at night/find it hard to focus??

I cant manage to do any study in the daytime and just find it hard to focus at night - I do try though and need to do some tonight - any tips you can offer, i'd really love to hear from another single mummy on this one. Its so hard to discipline yourself and stay away from the computer or the tv and actually sit and do it.:confused: :confused:

[Veritas]

I'm going to have that time scheduling issue too once bub comes along... I'm studying Bachelor Business by correspondence.... part time at present... but going to go full time from next year!

[mum2littleman]

got my friends enga party tonight and she told me yesterday she left a seat next to me so bring a date..:o i dont have one but DS is invited so he can just sit next to me i guess ..times like this a partners comes in handy..

turns out i didnt go alone i brought an ex boyfriend no not DS dad but seeing him with him hugigng him and rocking him to sleep and dancing on the dance floor wit him made me want sumone there that much more didnt really no what i was missing out on untill i saw him with DS.

[mum2littleman]

UPDATE:

ok so i found my old thread and was thinking it's in need of an update, so im still single and live at home however im going back to work early next yr so next month so we can move out JUST US YAY also excited about doing sumthing with my life again, DS will be at kindy too so his going to make more frineds, i have been out on a few dates with a few diffrent guys lately-just letting them take me out as friends and seeing where it all ends up and if not ive made a few new frineds too, have realised i Dont need a man to make me happy i already have one my son. xmas is only a few days away so another reason to be happy - and my DS is starting to walk and can now say "i love you" if that cant make u happy what can...

anyone else happyer now?:yelclap:

[bris_mummy-to-be17]

thank god for this thread. it really does make you realise you're not the only one who feels like that.

i've been single since i first found out i was pregnant. we had broken up before i even found out but had been together on and off for a year and half before hand.


at first i was so upset. going through pregnancy alone was something i never pictured. i started going to a young parents group at 22 weeks, i thought they would all be single like me too - it never occured to me that the guys actually stuck around! so i've been the only single girl there. for the first 10 weeks my mum came with me each friday arvo. She took time off work and everything to support me and it was great. Everyone just assumed i had a partner because i was happy. They only found out a few weeks ago that im single.

sometimes i look at the couples and think "how come i cant have that? what have i done wrong? what has my daughter done wrong?" and other times i watch them and think "im so lucky. every time she smiles - it will be for me. every time she laughs - it will be for me. im gonna be her world. i dont have to share it with anyone!"


so theres good days. and theres bad days. i really wish i had the hubby, the house, the car, the dog etc. But hey - im not even old enough to get married!


One day i want to have someone to share it with. But to be honest at the moment i dont think i could share. I want those times of just me and bubby. It would be easier to have a partner there to help. But after being single for the whole time i dont think i could just let someone share :o oh how greedy.


Im lucky to have my mummy though. I still live at home too and she helps out lots. Shes kind of taken on the roll of partner. Going to antenatal classes. To the ultrasounds. To my checkups. Buying me food im craving. Cooking me stuff. Etc.

There is of course things she doesnt do that i wish a partner would do - kissing my belly every night. Talking about "our baby". Rubbing the cream in for me etc.

She will give me massages if i ask but i dont want to. I dont feel she should. She works full time and has to do all the housework as my dad wont do anything so i dont wanna ask her to do stuff too.

Shes helped me out with money as i had to quit work at 16 weeks. I have been recieving centrelink though but not the full amount so i dont get much.


im thankful i have her and i dunno how i could do it without her.

Unlike most of you girls im lucky.
I wont have to worry about housework.
I wont have to worry about bills, i just pay mum board which is only about 40/50 a week. But at the moment shes only taking 40 a fortnight.
I dont have to cook dinner at the end of the day.
I dont have to mow.
I dont have to do the washing - but i will be doing bubbys clothes. Im very particular about how i want things for bubby done :P
All i have to worry about is myself nd looking after bubby.

So im very lucky there. Im also lucky that im only 17 - i dont turn 18 for another 6 months. I still have so much time ahead of me. So many oppurtunities. When bubby is 4 i will be 21 and old enough to start uni without completeling highschool. So for these things im thankful.



bubhub has been a great support for me. after bubby is born i hope to meet up with some of you beautiful ladies.


i noticed a couple of you from the goldcoast. i live in logan so that isnt too far away :) I dont have a car or anything but i'm gonna start saving for one and then hopefully i can travel a bit to meet some other single mummys.


Im alot happier now than i was 9 months ago - except that the baby is still in my tummy and not my arms :rolleyes: but that's okay LOL.



mum2littleman.
Im so glad things are looking up for you =) How kute of your DS!! Awhhhhh. Making me all clucky.
Hope you find the guy you deserve. You are so beautiful and have such a gorgeous son. He will be a very very lucky man to have you two in his life. :hugs:

[Pobblebonk]

I'm gonna jump in here also!

The way I'm feeling right now, I'm actually the complete opposite to you guys - I dont want a relationship at all! I'm completely and utterly enjoying being a single mum. I'm so much more happier now than I was when I was with DS's father.

I guess he just wasn't man enough for us.

I'm actually pretty sure I'm destined to be a single mum, so I'm not even going to bother ever looking for anyone. I think it's going to be pretty hard for me anyway to find someone who's parenting philosophy is the same as mine.

I went to ante-natal classes because I thought that just because I was going to be a single mum didn't mean that I needed to miss out on anything. However, at my first class, I had the midwife sit there and grill me about where DS's father was and where my support people were, in front of all the other couples! I almost walked out in tears. I just kept telling her, I'm a single mum. Moo! I complained about her because she made me feel like I had no right to be there.

Just about everyone else in my Mothers Group have husbands, and I don't really feel jealous. I mean, yes, it can get lonely but now that I'm working a few hours a week, I'm finding that my 'social' needs are being taken care of.

As well as the fact that my friends are always calling me and I'm always with family and I'm a big independent person anyway who likes her space and likes being at home.

I'm sure however, that another few years of this and I'll be thinking differently!

Right now though, I'm enjoying my single-hood.