Tantrums

[mum2littleman]

hi,
im after a little advice my litttle man is 6 months old and he really is such a good little boy, but for the past month now he has been having tantrums if he dont get what he wants, can i stop him from doing it now or does he not know any better his only 6 months old still only a little baby but i dont want him to end up being one of the children that throw them self on the ground to get what they want ..

his having tantrums at the smallest things like : if i feed him and he wants to hold his own spoon so i have to give him one while i feed now or if i take his new juice cup of him at lunch because his just spiting it everywhere and not drinking it or if he cant get a toy he wants or if im on the computer and he wants to touch the keybored and hates if i touch it.. whats wrong with my son do all children do this his only 6 months why has he started so young??

o so u no when i say tantrums i mean he screams and screams and then if he still dose not get what he wants he holds his breath, sum times i try to let him cry it off but after 5 mins i give up and give him what he wants or sumthing else to take his mind off it..

any advice?
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The Mummy-Louise 20{Lou}
The Baby-Lucas 6months{Lukey}

[the_queen]

There's nothing wrong with your son. Actually, for him to be so aware of things at this age, I'd say he's really really intelligent!

This is a normal developmental stage that all children go through - there's nothing you can do to stop it.

You say that you do this:


after 5 mins i give up and give him what he wants

By reacting this way, you are teaching him that his tantrums are the way to get what he wants. If it works, he's going to do it again.
I know it's difficult to ignore the screaming etc, but the only way to discourage this kind of behaviour is to not respond to it.
With my daughter, from when she was about this age I have tried to teach her how to ask appropriately for what she wants. When she would scream and bang her hands on the table, instead of telling her off or saying "no" to her, I would show her the way I want her to behave: eg I'd ignore her behaviour and say the words "Mummy may I please have a drink of water?" and then give her the drink and say "Thank you mummy". Now obviously this does not work immediately. But now at the age of almost-5 yrs old she knows exactly how to get what she wants. She still occasionally whinges (especially when tired) but I just say to her "That isn't the way to get what you want - you're a polite girl, you know how to ask nicely" and she immediately changes her tone of voice and say "Mummy may I please (etc etc)". She has been doing this since the age of about 3. Which is totally normal. Children need time to learn how to behave appropriately, and then best way to teach them is to model the appropriate behaviour, and to repeat it over and over and over again.

This is a great website for all sorts of parenting tips: Ask Dr Sears (http://www.askdrsears.com/)

Here's a link to his page about discipline, there's heaps of wonderful idea's there:
Discipline and Behaviour (http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T060100.asp)


Good luck!! Sounds like you've got a wonderfully spirited young man there! You must be a fantastic mother, doing a great job raising him :yes: Keep it up!!!

[cjb/jbvd]

if it makes you feel better, DS does this at feeds when he wants to stand up and be fed instead of in his highchair. he cracks huge tantys about getting socks or pants put on, and even bigger ones about getting his nappy changed. and now it's even progressed to not wanting to be put in his car seat.

i just say to him calmly and firmly, "nope, not putting up with it", and "if you settle down this will go alot faster and then you can play" or my favorite "scream louder, i don't think the neighbors heard you".

then i keep putting him where i want him, like on his back for his nappy change, and keep doing it until he gets the point that he has to stay there until i let him go.

it takes about fifteen minutes of kicking and screaming and fighting on his behalf before he gives in, but he eventually loses. and he's slowly getting better.

so i guess what i'm saying is repetition is the key to get things your way. and you have to get DP involved as well. it's no good if he just lets DS have his own way.

hope that helps....................................

[Oscar's mum]

We have just hit the tantrum stage too! I thought it would have come sooner but now it has hit like a tornado!

Thanks for the link too The Queen!;)

[mum2littleman]

thanks girls ill keep it in mind, i have tryed many times to say "no" you need to do this or have this but at 6 months he thinks his the boss he gets what he wants when he wants lol i guess ill keep it up and soon enough mummy will be the boss agin thanks girl..


__________
The Mummy-Louise 20{Lou}
The Baby-Lucas 6months{Lukey}

[lukaelmo]

I really like what the queen has said and I will be trying this out on the dude in preparation for his tanties.

For the moment, when the dude gets upset because I have taken something off him, or won't let him touch something, I try to distract him with something else. I think it must be so very hard for them to understand "well yes, you can touch this this and this, but not this" at such a young age. Anyway, this works for us...

Oh, and I have always given Luka his own spoon to eat with, one for him, one for me. He plays away happily with his spoon in his food while I do the other stuff, like actually putting food in his mouth :rolleyes: .