Am I the only one who thinks their child is great company? [Archive]

bada

28-04-2009, 13:57

So often I hear/read about ppl who say they get so lonely at home with the kids, but I don't.

I think my DD is great company. I was so lonely before she came into my world and ever since she arrived I have never felt lonely.

I do have adult friends too, and I like to see them but I am also just as happy to spend the day with just my DD.

So, am I the only one who thinks their child is great company?

EmsMum72

28-04-2009, 14:03

I really love the company of my kids, and I miss not having my daughter to talk to during the day now that she's started school. I do miss adult interaction every now and then, but yeah I love hanging out with my kids and think they're great company :thumbsup:

NibbleCurlynBub

28-04-2009, 14:03

They are certainly the most funny, impulsive and loving company I have ever had. :yes:

LuvMy4Babes

28-04-2009, 14:07

No you're not alone, I also love having my kids around to chat to :) They are hilarious and make me laugh several times a day!

I love the semi grown-up conversations I can have with my 2 older kids now, so awesome :D

MamaLlama

28-04-2009, 14:12

I'm sure you're not alone but I can't relate. I like spending time with my son (as long as its not all day every day), but no, I wouldn't call him great company. He's hard work.

When he can hang out at a coffee shop, discuss politics and help me cook dinner (instead of getting in the way of it) I mgiht change my mind. I expect that will be when he's old enough to want his peers for company though.

I just don't understand how toddlers can be great company for any adult really. I mean how many games of hide and seek, catch and finger painting can you play before you want to go have a chat about law, politics, science or whatever?

Bubs'n'Roses

28-04-2009, 14:12

I'd rather hang out with my three-year-old than most of my friends. Just this morning we went down the shops, had a muffin and a drink and wandered in and out of shops. When I tried on a skirt she flat out told me I had a big butt and I appreciate the honesty.

Luna Lovegood

28-04-2009, 14:14

I think DD is great company. When she gives me that big toothy smile I just melt.

I love playing with her and making her giggle- so much fun.

bada

28-04-2009, 14:21

I just don't understand how toddlers can be great company for any adult really. I mean how many games of hide and seek, catch and finger painting can you play before you want to go have a chat about law, politics, science or whatever?

I can and do do those things all day, quite happily. But the idea of having a conversation about politics makes me want to :sleeping: :laughing:

When DD gets whiny it can be a little annoying but I know it's then time for bed for her and me-time for me :D

bada

28-04-2009, 14:22

Oh and last week I spent a whole day apart from DD for the first time ever and I felt I had missed out on soooo much :o

Hollywood

28-04-2009, 14:24

My DS is great to have around, he's my little buddy. But I do still have days where I feel lonely, mostly on weekends if DH isn't around, I tend to go and seek adult company (usually family) in that case because I've had all week to be alone and finally on the weekend the people who work all week are home and I go and visit them with DS.

My favourite day of the week is Monday, I actually love spending it with just DS, because we've often had a hectic social weekend and finally on Monday it's just the two of us again.

Leisa21

28-04-2009, 14:25

I'm the same. He's great company, such a sweety. He is hilarious, the silliest boring things get turned into a game. Oh and DH and I happen to enjoy play doh and fingerpainting, perhaps more so than Aidan :o.

I just love that even a word I say can be funny and have us both in stitches. Aidan is my buddy and the best company. We went camping on the w.e with my parents and had a ball. For all four of us the w.e revolved around Aidan and we didn't stop laughing or smiling for a second :cloud9:

MamaLlama

28-04-2009, 14:25

I can and do do those things all day, quite happily. But the idea of having a conversation about politics makes me want to :sleeping: :laughing:
:D

Hence why I would never want to be a SAHM and you wouldn't want my old job back :-)

spoon

28-04-2009, 14:26

bada

28-04-2009, 14:30

Erm...I don't think you are the only person on the planet who enjoys the company of your toddler:confused:

I like both the company of adults and the company of my children. I don't think it is unusual for mothers to crave adult conversation though and love a good chat about politics and world issues.

No I don't think I am the only person on the planet who enjoys the company of my almost toddler.
The point I am making is that, I don't get lonely with DD, never have. I hear other ppl say they crave adult company but I don't. Not to say I don't enjoy it, but I don't crave it.

cath

28-04-2009, 14:30

bada

28-04-2009, 14:31

Perhaps the title should be 'Am I the only one who does not crave adult interaction?'

bada

28-04-2009, 14:33

Wait until she is 3, doesn't have a day sleep and asks "why?" and wants to converse and play pretend games all day and you don't get a quiet moment for 12 hours straight :laughing: It gets a bit much.

:laughing: I was reading posts from mothers of 3 year olds that don't take naps and I was like "what, you mean they stop taking naps?":laughing:

nothanksbye

28-04-2009, 14:33

I miss my kids!
ds went back to school today and DD went to preschool.

DS is about to be 7 and has pretty decent conversations with me. We talk about so much. Politics is one of them. We spend heaps of time learning stuff together.

DD is 5 and is great company but its purely on her terms so we talk alot about ponys and friends from school.

We do cook dinner together. We watch documentarys together and we also play.

I still love my adult conversation as well. But I do love being home with the kids.

cath

28-04-2009, 14:37

:laughing: I was reading posts from mothers of 3 year olds that don't take naps and I was like "what, you mean they stop taking naps?":laughing:

And my 3 year old stopped day sleeps shortly after turning 2! Make the most of it while it lasts.

Hollywood

28-04-2009, 14:39

No I don't think I am the only person on the planet who enjoys the company of my almost toddler.
The point I am making is that, I don't get lonely with DD, never have. I hear other ppl say they crave adult company but I don't. Not to say I don't enjoy it, but I don't crave it.

I'm not saying you won't feel the same way later, we're all different, but I felt like you do when DS was still under 1 too.

It's only been in the last few months (after being a SAHM for just over 2 years), that I have started to feel just a tad lonlier at times (but not all the time!) and seek out company. Thankfully my mum and my sister are both full time nannies and they work near my house, so I see both of them each week for play dates with the kids they look after, it's great! :D

SuperGranny

28-04-2009, 14:40

hi, I also had to be home with the kids. I loved it for the most part, we all have our moments, and with three under two there were a few moments. My hubby was away with his work for up to six weeks at a time, so that was kinda lonely, but I still survived. I still love the company of my kids and now I absolutly adore my grandsons, cant get enough of them. I dont think I craved adult company, I was quite happy to be a stay at home mum for ten years, and looking back I wouldnt change anything. Marie. PS, that was in the days without computers and chat rooms too.

Ana Gram

28-04-2009, 14:40

I love my kid but I am in the crave adult conversation camp. I like talking politics, history, current events, ethics etc. Can't really do that with DD.

Leisa21

28-04-2009, 14:45

I love talking with my husband at night when Aidan goes to bed, it's great. Aidan is up at the crack of dawn, only sleeps for around an hour a day and goes to bed just as the sun sets:D. I think it's a great dynamic. I get to have fun with him all day and have a blast and then I get to interact with DH and talk about current affairs, polictics, legal system, police anything and everything.

I used to think I'd go mad being a SAHM because I'm such a social person but nope not at all. I can live without being mentaly stimulated all day, in fact I don't miss it. All I need is a giggle, a smile and Aidan to chat with.

justmum

28-04-2009, 14:49

I'm not saying you won't feel the same way later, we're all different, but I felt like you do when DS was still under 1 too.:D

Oh me too. I loved spending time just with my DS when he was 6 months - 18 months. I call it the golden age. They are gorgeous, so innocent and sweet and everything is hilarious fun and full of wonder (hence why I now have a 3 month old :rolleyes:).

Then the tantrums start at 18 months! Suddenly my sweet little baby is a wilful toddler and TBH, I enjoy a little time out from that, spending time with adults who don't ignore me when I tell them to step back a bit form the tv or to brush their teeth :laughing:

RedPanda

28-04-2009, 14:50

They're great company, but you can hardly discuss current affairs with them. Conversations with a two-year-old can be quite limiting :laughing:

I love the company of my children, but I do hanker for a more challenging conversation or activity.

munchie

28-04-2009, 14:53

I love spending time with my DD, most of all when we are just laughing or playing piggybacks or hide n seek or whatever. There are certain things I enjoy doing less than others like watching In the night garden for the 50millionth time, trying to read her books to only have her want to eat them, cleaning up all her mess she leaves behind, feeding her (yep its boring). But most of all I love it, she brings smiles, laughter and joy to everyday.

naiwen

28-04-2009, 15:04

Oh me too. I loved spending time just with my DS when he was 6 months - 18 months. I call it the golden age. They are gorgeous, so innocent and sweet and everything is hilarious fun and full of wonder (hence why I now have a 3 month old :rolleyes:).

Then the tantrums start at 18 months! Suddenly my sweet little baby is a wilful toddler and TBH, I enjoy a little time out from that, spending time with adults who don't ignore me when I tell them to step back a bit form the tv or to brush their teeth :laughing:

:iagree: What she said ;).

MamaLlama

28-04-2009, 15:09

Oh my! 6-18 months was Hell Age for us. DS was basically ****ed off in a general sense the whole time. And he couldn't do what he wanted (walk, explain what he wanted to eat, what he needed from the cupboard) and he was just frustrated to heck and a full time tantrum on legs.

At 18 months he started to improve and by the time he hit 2 he was so much better. 2-3 has been a golden age, and it seems to be continuing. I wouldn't trade him for a 6-18 month old EVER. not without a money back guarantee that the bub could talk about the Children Overboard scandal and read the Age within a week.

DS is much better now. But I still prefer adult company unequivocally.

Oh btw what's this about naps? My DS gave up daytime naps at THREE freaking months old. Even now he will nap at kindy but never at home. And he won't sleep before 9:30pm at night. So no such thing as a break. We get 9:30-10:30 to ourselves and then we pass out from exhaustion.

Skittles

28-04-2009, 15:15

I love my kids. And i love hanging out with them and i love playing with them but my answer is no. I do not think they are great company. I crave adult conversation but even more to the point i crave being left alone. All i want is to be able to pee without someone coming in and commenting on the fact that 'mummy is doing a wee wee'. :D I have never had any patience with children. It amazes me i have managed to play mind numbing games for 3.5 years without going totally insane. And might i add if i have to read one more book about a baby ducky i am going to scream!!

MamaLlama

28-04-2009, 15:19

It amazes me i have managed to play mind numbing games for 3.5 years without going totally insane. And might i add if i have to read one more book about a baby ducky i am going to scream!!

This is so me!

And I'd like to pee without the commentary too!

Skittles

28-04-2009, 15:25

well mamalama i am glad im not the only one. :D Makes me feel a bit better. Not that there is anything wrong with us :D ;)

forbetoel

28-04-2009, 15:30

I love spending time with kids. I really enjoy their company, but hey, bad luck/and too late if I didn't.

mum2bubba

28-04-2009, 16:43

I love the company of my kids too sometimes (when they're not whinging or whatever) but there are some days when I just want to be left alone for 5 minutes and when I crave adult conversation. I love my kids but I also love my space.

cja

28-04-2009, 17:03

well mamalama i am glad im not the only one. :D Makes me feel a bit better. Not that there is anything wrong with us :D ;)

:iagree:

sambojambo

28-04-2009, 17:59

MsMummy

28-04-2009, 18:03

To be honest, I didn't really enjoy it when he was a newborn. So tiring and demanding and quite lonely.

Now that he's 7 months, I really enjoy being with him and crave it (and am restructuring other things so I can be with him more). But I like having some sort of outing or activity as well as there's only so much singing or playing I can do before I get a little tetchy.:D

I would think it depends on the child as well.

bada

28-04-2009, 19:22

I've been thinking more about this and I think having a partner to talk to at the end of the day makes a lot of difference. I think if I were a single mum I would crave the attention of adults.

I really do enjoy the company of adults it's just not something I crave as such. When I am home alone with DD I'm content even though there are occasional moments like these >>:hair: :laughing:

It will be interesting to see if my feelings changes as she gets older as others have suggested, but I can't imagine it happening. I can see myself wanting a break more and more but not necessarily time with other adults. I think more than anything I crave some time alone. The most time I have had to myself since having DD was last week when I spent the day puking. I would looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooove a babysitter.

MamaLlama

28-04-2009, 20:07

I've been thinking more about this and I think having a partner to talk to at the end of the day makes a lot of difference. .

Well I have a wonderful husband who is very supportive, shares the chores even though I am home and he works FT, and does more than his fair share with DS.

Trouble is- when our alone time together is 9:30-10:30pm each night, unless we stay up later until DS wakes - well, it hardly makes up for missing adult interaction.

Sounds like your kid sleeps a lot. Mine never did. Even as a newborn he only catnapped 30 mins here and there. Not long enough to have a coffee and a chat with a friend. Gave that up when he was 3 months and went to 2hourly feeds 24/7 for the next year. Finally STTN for a bit then woke up regularly once he was in a toddler bed. Maybe if you had to spend constant time with your child all day you'd get more bored with all the kiddy games. I don't know, maybe some adults like playdoh. Personally I prefer reading a book (that isn't The Gruffalo) and writing, studying, working, talking to adults. But I can see how if you liked kiddy stuff enough you could get by if you had naptime to yourself. Not something I ever really had.

bada

28-04-2009, 20:09

Yep DD is a good sleeper mostly, from 8 weeks slept through most nights.
This Gruffalo book sounds great, will have to get me a copy.

Leisa21

28-04-2009, 20:13

Naptime what's that:p. Yeah it's tough when they don't sleep much during the day and night. DS has never been a good day sleeper. I'm lucky that he sleeps from 6:30 - 6:30 though. But yeah, it's tough! I don't remember what it was like to finish a coffee while it's still hot lol.

mum_I'm_hungry

28-04-2009, 20:32

I have days I love spending with my kids and days I would much rather be working (I work for myself and sometimes find it hard to stop something halfway through and be with the kids), or reading a good book. Some days going to the park for the 5 millionth time drives me a bit mental, other days I am perfectly happy to be there.

As they've gotten past the baby stage, I find I really enjoy spending time with each of them alone, because the one thing that does my head in is sibling bickering. So, when that issue is removed and we can cater to his/her specific age and likes/dislikes (my daughter likes cafes, my son likes upending things at cafes!), things are always much more pleasant...

sockstealingpoltergeist

28-04-2009, 20:39

[text deleted by moderator]

My first DD was an excellent sleeper, and I enjoyed being with her, but I really craved adult company because I was a single mum and alone alot.

My DS is sleeping better now he is nearly 3. He wasn't a good sleeper as a baby because he was sick alot.:( I still enjoy being with him immensly, and don't crave adult company as much because I live with almost 2 others.

confusd

28-04-2009, 20:49

[text deleted by moderator]

i enjoy DD's company. although i do spent time away from her (3hrs..ish) twice a week when i go to the gym. (need to get fit she is starting to run WAY to fast :p)

Although, there are the days when i wish she would just behave. she is usually generally well behaved but then there are the days where she goes feral.
Its usually those day where i wish i could hang out with adults more.
I used to go to a friends house every friday night for an hour or two and have a drink and i havent got to do that in a long time.

i just need a mummy and adults night :yes:

in short.. i love her company and enjoy my time with her but sometimes i need to spend time with friends

MsMummy

28-04-2009, 20:56

[text deleted by moderator]

Back to your original point, it's lovely that you guys enjoy spending time together.

Yemaya

28-04-2009, 20:56

I think my children are great company, however I still crave adult conversation. :yes:

My eldest and I have dates, the other day we went and had a fresh juice together and had a little chat.

PinkBinkie

28-04-2009, 20:57

I really enjoy just hanging out with my nearly 4 year old. I love her view of the world and listening to all her ideas. It's so lovely to go sit at a cafe together or go to the movies. Really special. But some days we spend too much time with each other and drive each other crazy!!

Refresh

28-04-2009, 20:58

Leeny

28-04-2009, 21:13

I'm reopening this thread ladies.. I hope it can remain on track, and that people can post without feeling the need to attack each other :)

bada

28-04-2009, 21:31

Thanks Leeny :goodvibes:

forbetoel

28-04-2009, 21:41

[[text deleted by moderator]

I will make NO apologies for saying that I love the company of my children. None at all...and I tell them that all the time and anyone else who asks. They are wonderful, amazing, innocent little people that I created and I love watching them grow.

My kids do not go to to daycare, they are home with me until they go to school and even then, i miss them and look forward to the school holidays. Because someone else does not feel this way does not mean that I have no right to! We have a great balance of social activities which I enjoy attending both to see the kids learn and play (playgroup, music, karate etc.) and to mix with other lovely mums at the same stage of life as me.

Sleeping wise, I have had a mixed bag....I have a 9 year old who is obviously a good sleeper, a 6 month old who has slept through from 8 weeks and a 2 year old and 4 year old who still wake up several times a night :laughing:

Ooooh yeah...:iagree: cept for the sleeping, all of mine were fantastic sleepers.:D

I love being a mum and luckily I do as it is too late to put them back. They deserve nothing less than to have a mother who cherishes their very existence- and nope, I won't apologise for one either.:) I asked for them to be here - not the other way around.

Certainly doesn't mean it is all roses, it can be hard work trying to raise good decent human beings.

Refresh

28-04-2009, 22:01

Ooooh yeah...:iagree: cept for the sleeping, all of mine were fantastic sleepers.:D

I love being a mum and luckily I do as it is too late to put them back. They deserve nothing less than to have a mother who cherishes their very existence- and nope, I won't apologise for one either.:) I asked for them to be here - not the other way around.

Certainly doesn't mean it is all roses, it can be hard work trying to raise good decent human beings.

Well, :iagree: with you also...and I forgive you the fact that your kids sleep better than mine :shakehands:

sockstealingpoltergeist

28-04-2009, 22:50

LOL I only saw 1 hubber being attacked, let's be honest about it.

BTW if I get a great sleeper next time around I will feel I have really earned it. Ask yourself did you earn it? Or are you lucky, in which case you should be gracious about it.

And DS is doing the dishes every night from age 10-17 to make up for my lack of sleep these past years. His sentence was reduced by 2 years due to the fact he's been easy for the last year or so (not counting the sleep thing). He owes me sleep but I'm ok with payment in dishwashing :laughing:
I saw no one picking on you.

My daughter was a great sleeper and I'm not gracious about it.

:devil6:

Chunkydunks

28-04-2009, 23:11

I used to think mine was.....now all he wants to do is play the xbox, the DS, the leapster, watch DVD's or spend time with his father. If he's not doing those things his conversations always revolve around star wars or indiana jones or the latest toy he's demanding. When that's not happening we're at logger heads over everything from bed time to eating. I want my little boy back:(

bada

28-04-2009, 23:59

im right with you!! love is a wonderful thing isnt it? i love hanging out with my son and little doggie buddie. with all the bad news we hear day in day out our kids bring us back to the joy we should all be feeling in our hearts , they bring us back to our world and our moment and its just a moment of pure love....... until the teenage years.... ha ha ha...no, im sure ill still feel the joy that i feel everytime i look at those eyes or that cheeky smile when hes covered in spots and telling me " yeh later mum...oh shut up mum ..." and the like ha ha ha ha:fingerscrossed:

:yes:I think looking forward makes me appreciate these days so much.

I come from a dysfunctional family where there is no love between parents and children. I dread this happening between my children and I :crying: So when things are trying now I remind myself that things won't always be like this, one day she won't have time for me, may not even like me :gloomy:

When she has her ultra clingy moments at a time that doesn't suit me, I remind myself that one day she won't want to be cuddled.

It's sad to think of them growing up and away from us but I like to remind myself so as to keep things in perspective.

These early years are so precious. :cloud9:

~Temet Nosce~

29-04-2009, 08:07

Some days do feel like groundhog day.. and some days I do loose myself and will have a cry..

but mostly, it has been the best 2 years of my life so far :yes: love my dd and her quirky company to bits.

SimplyMum

29-04-2009, 08:38

Oh, I was thinking this exact same thing while on holidays.

I love hanging out with DS- I do get bored easily so our fav thing is going on adventures; a picnic, a bushwalk, going on a boat/ferry, on the monarail, on the tram, the train. He is fascinated by the smallest things and I love our little adventures.

I also love the first few seconds I see his face in the morning. This morning, while getting my lunch ready he surprised me in the kitchen. He ran up and gave me a hug. I love the way his head nestles just nicely in the crook of my neck- it's almost like he just fits there perfectly.

I love our Movie nights, even better if he snuggles up close on the lounge and I get to wrap my arm tight around him.

He often tells me I'm his friend and he loves me, and I tell him that he is my best friend and I love him lots and lots.

He is such a gorgeous child (if I do say so myself).

bada

29-04-2009, 08:43

I love the way his head nestles just nicely in the crook of my neck- it's almost like he just fits there perfectly.

Awww so true :cloud9::cloud9::cloud9:

Refresh

29-04-2009, 09:15

Mum81, I am the same....I would hate my kids to feel disconnected from me the way I feel from my parents...I promised myself and them that I would give them my all :goodvibes:

zenifa

29-04-2009, 09:35

Wait until she is 3, doesn't have a day sleep and asks "why?" and wants to converse and play pretend games all day and you don't get a quiet moment for 12 hours straight :laughing: It gets a bit much.

:laughing: Have you been spying on me?? :p

On the whole I love and adore the company of my girls and try to enjoy my time with them, as I know that before I know it both will be at school.

Having said that there are times when I'm tired and they are tired, clingy, demanding and grumpy and I want some peace and quiet to myself. I don't often crave the company of adults, as I find I have plenty of that, its more alone time that I crave - to sleep, rest or read or just to get things done!!

My girls are lots of fun and see the world in a wonder filled way and laugh and smile so easily that its hard not to be infected by their love of life and everything in it. They both are very loving, happy girls and its easy to enjoy their company.

Leisa21

29-04-2009, 09:39

Mum81, I am the same....I would hate my kids to feel disconnected from me the way I feel from my parents...I promised myself and them that I would give them my all :goodvibes:
I'm sure you both do too:goodvibes::goodvibes:. I can't imagine what it must be like to grow up in a home without a lot of warmth. Andrew said he didn't really notice anything was wrong until he saw how my family interact. He was very sad :( But he is such a wonderful father, full of warmth and love for his son and me! :thumbsup: to you guys!

Oh and this morning I'm going to be honest, I'd much rather the company of myself. I've got a cold and for some reason I'm vomitting as well. Although Aidan has been a darling and sitting by me cuddling me while I'm sick :valentine:. He's an angel.

MamaLlama

29-04-2009, 10:00

I come from a dysfunctional family where there is no love between parents and children. I dread this happening between my children and I :crying:

I think you need to understand that it isn't an either or. I am sure Skittles and Chellegoth would agree, it's perfectly possible to have a ton of love but not spend all day every day with your kids and not crave adult company like the dickens.

I think teenagers are great. I was a happy teen who liked my family, so were all my cousins.

Ana Gram

29-04-2009, 10:03

Yep, I do agree MamaLlama. And these threads are starting to tick me off. The constant implication that we are cold, unloving mothers is getting a bit old and quite frankly very rude.

MamaLlama

29-04-2009, 10:05

Yep, I do agree MamaLlama. And these threads are starting to tick me off. The constant implication that we are cold, unloving mothers is getting a bit old and quite frankly very rude.

:yelclap:

Leisa21

29-04-2009, 10:09

No one is saying anything like that :no:. I know for me I get sick of being called, weird, boring or uneducated because I'm happy to have the company of my son all day everyday without getting 'sick of it'. I get told every 5 seconds that I'm weird for not sending him to day care, surely you must need a break or don't you go crazy...

Or my favourite, well you never went to uni so it's not like you need intellectual stimulation:rolleyes:. Or lets not forget the, you wont be saying that in 12 months. Well it's been 17 and I can't see myself changing my mind.

This isn't a personal attack on you, it's more of a please tell me I"m not the only one because I'm sick to death of being told I'm weird or the odd one out;)

Sparklydreamer

29-04-2009, 10:28

I love the company of my daughter now that she's a bit older. She's funny, and loving, and we have some of the most entertaining, delightful conversations (usually about her 'pretend friends' or how she thinks the world works). I just love this 3-4 age. She's so unbelievably sweet and affectionate.

But I also understand how people can crave adult conversation too. Balance is important. And everyone's experience and kids are different.

MsMummy

29-04-2009, 12:44

I really don't understand how any controversy can spring from the original post.

The upshot was: "I don't get lonely at home because I like spending time with my small child" and that it's interesting how other people do get lonely.

I think all it implies is that we all are different, not that we shouldn't be different. Nor does I think it implies that there's something wrong with you if you don't enjoy spending time with a small child.

The beauty is that we have choices (to some extent) to try and fulfil our needs. The OP can stay at home and enjoy her time with her baby, other posters don't have to.

Personally, it would drive me mad being just with my baby all the time. It doesn't mean that other people are mad, just that it doesn't suit my personality and needs.

Maybe we should celebrate our differences rather than getting upset.:)

Nowhere

29-04-2009, 13:04

nope your not the only one I love spending time with DD

Today her favourite game is Get dat, Translate to english Get that, basicly her sitting on the floor or in her scooty chair instead of her tyring to move her little but to the desirded toy she just point and screams get dat, lol I stil have NOT figured out what dat is dispite going through all of her toys MMMMM am i doing something wrong

Its only 11 oclock and so far we have Done morning meds, droped daddy of at work (car broke grrrr) done some colouring, some physio, I had a chat to one of my mates on the phone, Did some flash cards, and plays get dat next on the agender is going to group physio and then a nice walk to the shops and a coffee with a mate and her little ones

All in all a great day with the best company my little girl and her little friends in a bit

Couldnt be better

Skittles

29-04-2009, 13:08

I think you need to understand that it isn't an either or. I am sure Skittles and Chellegoth would agree, it's perfectly possible to have a ton of love but not spend all day every day with your kids and not crave adult company like the dickens.

I think teenagers are great. I was a happy teen who liked my family, so were all my cousins.

:iagree:

I have just read through the whole thread and now i feel like a crappy mother who doesnt 'love and cherish her children' just becuase i find myself unable to sit around all day doing mundane things. I love my kids to death. I would lay down in front of a train for them. However I never dreamed of being mother. I have big dreams for myself and my life. I have two kids. And they are part of my life. But I have not made them my whole life. I have something outside of my family life that is for me. And TBH i feel like a better mother for it becuase the days and evenings i do get to spend with my kids are so special

~Temet Nosce~

29-04-2009, 13:14

:iagree:

I have just read through the whole thread and now i feel like a crappy mother who doesnt 'love and cherish her children' just becuase i find myself unable to sit around all day doing mundane things. I love my kids to death. I would lay down in front of a train for them. However I never dreamed of being mother. I have big dreams for myself and my life. I have two kids. And they are part of my life. But I have not made them my whole life. I have something outside of my family life that is for me. And TBH i feel like a better mother for it becuase the days and evenings i do get to spend with my kids are so special
And that is completely ok. There is no need to feel guilt or to lash out at the thread like many have done, that to me suggests a guilt of their own that they need to work on.

I love my dd to bits and mostly enjoy her company, but I will admit some days its like oh ffs :rolleyes: I so don't want to read to you or play kiddy games just leave me alone.. doesn't mean I don't enjoy her company or love her or continue to play with her. And I know that in my heart, that I am still a great mum and she is in no way neglected by me still having 'me' time when I need it, so why should I feel guilt over it or get angry at this thread.

anyway :ecomcity: I rambled on a bit much then.

SimplyMum

29-04-2009, 13:21

:iagree:

I have just read through the whole thread and now i feel like a crappy mother who doesnt 'love and cherish her children' just becuase i find myself unable to sit around all day doing mundane things.

What it be helpful in mentioning that I work full time and study part time?
I didn't read the terms and conditions where by you had to be a sahm/homeschool or whatever else it was to enjoy the company of your kiddies!:p

Skittles

29-04-2009, 13:22

And that is completely ok. There is no need to feel guilt or to lash out at the thread like many have done, that to me suggests a guilt of their own that they need to work on.

Im not getting angry or lashing out....just stating my feelings :) And the gist of what alot of pp's are saying is that for myself and a few others on here that we dont enjoy spending all day everyday with our kids makes us uncaring and disfunctional families. What should we have written. A lie?

Leisa21

29-04-2009, 13:28

Im not getting angry or lashing out....just stating my feelings :) And the gist of what alot of pp's are saying is that for myself and a few others on here that we dont enjoy spending all day everyday with our kids makes us uncaring and disfunctional families. What should we have written. A lie?
Bec that's not it at all. :hugs:

Can I just say that I'm gobsmacked by what you do. If I was to work a night shift 4 nights a week and get up at the crack of dawn to Aidan every day I wouldn't feel like it either. That doesn't make you a bad mum that makes you bl00dy human! I think you're an awesome Mum! Annnnnnd even if you didn't I don't think it makes anyone a bad mother for not wanting to do the same things with their kids day in, day out at all. It just makes you different to me:goodvibes:

MamaLlama

29-04-2009, 13:29

Im not getting angry or lashing out....just stating my feelings :) And the gist of what alot of pp's are saying is that for myself and a few others on here that we dont enjoy spending all day everyday with our kids makes us uncaring and disfunctional families. What should we have written. A lie?

:iagree:

I don't see any of us saying anything nasty about those who like doing what we find boring. But I did see the reverse.

Just look where the mods had to delete text. It wasn't by us.

And in general society too, we're the ones who are called names, not those with the opposite view.

forbetoel

29-04-2009, 13:32

Skittles

29-04-2009, 13:38

Bec that's not it at all. :hugs:

Can I just say that I'm gobsmacked by what you do. Annnnnnd even if you didn't I don't think it makes anyone a bad mother for not wanting to do the same things with their kids day in, day out at all. It just makes you different to me:goodvibes:

Thanks hun. That means alot to me. I am just getting the feeling that there is alot of judging going on becuase a few of us are different. As you have said there is nothing wrong with being a different mother to the mainstream (whatever the heck that is!) but once again as with most topics the minority is being judged.

forbetoel

29-04-2009, 13:42

~Temet Nosce~

29-04-2009, 13:43

Im not getting angry or lashing out....just stating my feelings :) And the gist of what alot of pp's are saying is that for myself and a few others on here that we dont enjoy spending all day everyday with our kids makes us uncaring and disfunctional families. What should we have written. A lie?
I wasn't saying you were lashing out. I'm guessing that is what happpened before the thread got closed for cleaning (although I didn't read it before then so I may be wrong)

And, incase you didn't read the rest of my post, I am one of those people who don't always enjoy spending all day with my dd ;) but on the whole I do.

~Temet Nosce~

29-04-2009, 13:46

Skittles I am sorry that you are feeling judged. :hugs: I have re-read the posts and cannot find anything that says that women who want more than just being a mum are bad mothers or whatever. There was an earlier post, which quite directly stated that mothers who enjoy thier children and find them easy should pretty much keep their mouth shut because it makes others feel bad. That post changed the whole tone of this thread, which was running rather smoothly before.

For what it is worth, there is not even a tiny bit of me that feels you are a bad mother.:)
This was my point. At no time in this thread have I seen anyone call anyone a bad mother for not always enjoying your children company. And if you do feel bad, then you need to work on not feeling bad, because nobody thinks you are a bad mother, and you shouldn't feel like you are as it's not the truth :)

god I ramble on sometimes :laughing:

jodiecorn

29-04-2009, 14:00

I have two kids. And they are part of my life. But I have not made them my whole life. I have something outside of my family life that is for me. And TBH i feel like a better mother for it becuase the days and evenings i do get to spend with my kids are so special

:iagree:

Skittles

29-04-2009, 14:11

Amethyst I did read your whole post. And thats cool. Thats how you are as a mother and i think you are doing an amazing job by what i see in the forums. But there have been quite a few remarks, deliberate or not that seem to come across as judgement for mothers who are different to the norm. It may not come across to may of you as this way because you agree. However i know its not my head playing tricks on me because there are a few other members who have also commented on it

~Temet Nosce~

29-04-2009, 14:13

:( thats a shame. Like I said I didn't see the thread before it closed but I'm glad I didnt!

jodiecorn

29-04-2009, 14:15

But there have been quite a few remarks, deliberate or not that seem to come across as judgement for mothers
:iagree:

If you formula feed because you want to...

Or if you send your kids to daycare because you want to....

Just look at the comments this gets from other bh members!

But some people on the 'good' side can even write in their bubhead signature info a rave about how they are in a formula free household and this is seen as OK??

Areca

29-04-2009, 14:15

:iagree:

I don't see any of us saying anything nasty about those who like doing what we find boring. But I did see the reverse.

Just look where the mods had to delete text. It wasn't by us.

And in general society too, we're the ones who are called names, not those with the opposite view.

:laughing: You're hilarious. No truly. You're right you can't see where the mods deleted anything by you because they had to delete your whole post.

Wow indeed.

I love spending time with my kids. Last year I was really getting over it and needing a break and thought I was going to return to the workforce but now I'm pregnant with no. 3 and I've realised how content I am to stay at home for longer and be with my children as much as possible.
That doesn't mean I don't enjoy my breaks and that I don't like adult company...I do. But I love being with my kids day in and day out and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I don't know how anyone could take offence to this thread and see it as them being made to feel like bad mothers. It's along the lines of a ff'ing mum going in to a thread where bfer's are discussing how much they love bf and the ff'ing mum accusing them of being downright rude and disrespectful of their choice to ff. It's a bit OTT.

Leisa21

29-04-2009, 14:17

:iagree:

If you formula feed because you want to...

Or if you send your kids to daycare because you want to....

Just look at the comments this gets from other bh members!

But some people on the 'good' side can even write in their bubhead signature info a rave about how they are in a formula free household and this is seen as OK??
I've suprised you managed to observe all this in the short time you've been a member. There are threads like that out there. I just didn't think this was one of them, sorry. *shrugs*

Areca

29-04-2009, 14:22

I've suprised you managed to observe all this in the short time you've been a member. There are threads like that out there. I just didn't think this was one of them, sorry. *shrugs*

:iagree: I wasn't aware that every single thread on BH was a debate, or a sly way to make someone else feel guilty about their parenting choices. Oh the conspiracy! Seems I've been under a rock the whole time I've been a member here.

Even when hot debates are happening and there's several spin off threads about it nice, feel good threads can still go on, despite the debates.

It's a shame this thread is likely going to be closed because a few members are offended by 'Stu from the caravan park's' thoughts on their imaginary kids! :cool:

Leisa21

29-04-2009, 14:28

I wasn't aware that every single thread on BH was a debate, or a sly way to make someone else feel guilty about their parenting choices. Oh the conspiracy! Seems I've been under a rock the whole time I've been a member here.

I didn't say it was did I. OH dear I'm so confused. I'm sick today, am I not making sense? I'm gonna throw a tanty lol.

I've seen threads on BH that are a little sly and snakey is what I was saying. I was just suprised that someone who'd only been a member long enough to make 2 posts had noticed that ;).

I think BH is great and I love the debates:thumbsup:.

Looshkin

29-04-2009, 14:36

to be honest, the OP was asking if she was the only one who felt this way, thus actually feeling in the minority herself. - there was never anyone saying anything negative about mums that want other company, nor was it the point of the thread.

And although I can't comment with experience yet, I do feel that when I finally do have a successful pregnancy and have kids to spend time with, that I will also want to have fun, be able to have light hearted fun with play-dough and imaginary games...but not 100%
the same as any human couldn't get all of their social needs from 1 human. (or even 1 group!)

I realise I am not incredibly patient and as a woman and individual I know if I keep my brain stimulated in an 'adult way' by reading and studying and learning and having discussions with df and my friends (when i can) that I would be a better more balanced and satisfied mum to my kids.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be a person too!!

I really don't see anything wrong with that nor anyone suggesting that.:hugs:

I think having the patience and happyness with only company with your child(ren) and a comfort with your own company is a fantastic thing!

really, there is no need for this to have been a mod'd thread. If you respond to stirers they get want they want. my bad. :o

Areca

29-04-2009, 14:43

I didn't say it was did I. OH dear I'm so confused. I'm sick today, am I not making sense? I'm gonna throw a tanty lol.

I've seen threads on BH that are a little sly and snakey is what I was saying. I was just suprised that someone who'd only been a member long enough to make 2 posts had noticed that ;).

I think BH is great and I love the debates:thumbsup:.

I was being sarcastic! don't stress! I'm in complete agreeance with you. I changed my post to make it clearer.

sockstealingpoltergeist

29-04-2009, 14:44

Leisa21

29-04-2009, 14:53

I was being sarcastic! don't stress! I'm in complete agreeance with you. I changed my post to make it clearer.
:o Phew lol I was thinking I know I'm a little spacey today but I swear I didn't say that lol.

meme

29-04-2009, 14:53

back to topic.

i do feel lonely and or bored at home with kids, maily i spend days at home with a 3 year old as the others are at school.

after 12 years of parenting frankly it gets a little repetitive. despite my children being the most interesting dynamic little angels most of the time, they definatley have there whingy, demanding moments that can be hard work to deal with constantly.

i think being a sole parent has a hell of an influence on beinglonely for me. i do not have respite during the day, not even the phonecall i used to get when i had a partner working away, that would give me an outlet to be me with someone and debrief over the days events.

with my first child i considered myself a very creative and involved parent, despite the facct that in other ways i was less responsible or available than i am now ( i partied harder and worked more). the difference i think was that while i was with my first child i was very involved in playing and engaging with her.

now that i have 3 kids i spend a lot more time just supervising the running of the household, in that i need to make sure things get done, people need clean clothes we need routine meal times that fit in with ballet pick upand drop off. the animals must get fed and chores down. i facilitate playtime by providing toys and i give hugs and love where i can, but when i sit down to play, i feel like i am wasting time where i could be doing other things (like studying). if i set up craft, i am needed to clear up, and stop siblings painting each other or cutting hair off, rather than just sitting down with one child. not to mention that with a large age gap one activity often doesn't involve the whole family very well....oh gawd what was i talking about....

with my whole family, i do enjoy spending time as between all the ages i do have interesting conversation and fun times. but with dd 3years i get bored and lonely.

i prefer to catch upwith friends who have kids and interact with my kids with other adults around too.

Refresh

29-04-2009, 14:56

OMgosh, I am seriously gobsmacked that what started off as a lovely thread has turned so nasty. How does me or the OP or anyone else saying they enjoy their kids company reflect on anybody else???????? :confused:

Why try to steal other people's joy just because you don't feel it yourself? :(

Skittles

29-04-2009, 15:01

Why try to steal other people's joy just because you don't feel it yourself? :(

Is this directed at me? Lol after 4 hours sleep in the past two days i am starting to get a bit slow. If it is..... I am not trying to steal peoples joy. I mean if you are happy benng with your kids all day playing etc. Then thats awsome. I envy you!! Its just simply not how it works for everyone. I have not seen anyone try to steal my joy as you have put it. But a bit of understanding woul be awsome for those of us who are the opposite to the op:yes:

zenifa

29-04-2009, 15:05

Earlier on in the thread I was one of those mums who admitted that I do enjoy my children's company but yes there are times when I don't.

I feel this is 'normal', but if you don't enjoy your children's company that is fine by me and I think its good that you can be honest about it.

TBH I wouldn't prefer to be in the company of children generally (especially before I had my own, I had no interest in any children whatsoever!), but I am a tad biased towards my own.

In the same way I don't enjoy all adult company, and do love my alone time.

I just don't understand why things need to be all one way or all the other (I cannot fathom how someone can enjoy their kids company 100% of the time), and that we can't just accept and acknowledge opinions and experiences different to our own.

AM I the only one that finds that too many threads on BH start off innocent enough and then become quite nasty and defensive quite quickly? Gosh I wouldn't want to be a mod trying to manage this right now..........a bit like managing unruly toddlers :p:laughing:

Refresh

29-04-2009, 15:06

Is this directed at me? Lol after 4 hours sleep in the past two days i am starting to get a bit slow. If it is..... I am not trying to steal peoples joy. I mean if you are happy benng with your kids all day playing etc. Then thats awsome. I envy you!! Its just simply not how it works for everyone. I have not seen anyone try to steal my joy as you have put it. But a bit of understanding woul be awsome for those of us who are the opposite to the op:yes:

It wasn't directed at anyone in particular, just I am amazed and saddened that there can't be a thread about people enjoying their kids without it turning sour :(

I am all for supporting other mums and quite often post my support in other threads...I just don't see why people saying they enjoy their kids makes others angry???

Because I enjoy my children alot, does not mean anything except just that.

Areca

29-04-2009, 15:08

Is this directed at me? Lol after 4 hours sleep in the past two days i am starting to get a bit slow. If it is..... I am not trying to steal peoples joy. I mean if you are happy benng with your kids all day playing etc. Then thats awsome. I envy you!! Its just simply not how it works for everyone. I have not seen anyone try to steal my joy as you have put it. But a bit of understanding woul be awsome for those of us who are the opposite to the op:yes:

To be fair though the OP was from someone asking if she was only one that felt the way she did - her feelings being that she doesn't get lonely with just her and her DD and doesn't crave adult interaction like other mothers do. It's not a thread bagging out those that don't feel that way.

Refresh

29-04-2009, 15:11

To be fair though the OP was from someone asking if she was only one that felt the way she did - her feelings being that she doesn't get lonely with just her and her DD and doesn't crave adult interaction like other mothers do. It's not a thread bagging out those that don't feel that way.

Exactly, that is what I was trying to say also.

Skittles

29-04-2009, 15:18

Refresh

29-04-2009, 15:22

Skittles, of course you can discuss it. Anyway, I do not think that it is your posts that have gotten people gong like this :confused: Most people, yourself included can discuss things in a mature way without being offensive IMO.

It's just that the OP saying that she enjoys the company of her child does not automatically say "If you don't always enjoy your kids then you are bad/wrong/whatever" I think is was just a lovely thread and am disappointed how it turned out. There is so much negativity about children in the world, it is nice to sometimes discuss the good things :goodvibes:

Areca

29-04-2009, 15:27

No i do not feel that way.

I didn't say you couldn't. But this thread has not been disrespectful to those that think differently. My point was that this thread was started by someone who wondered if she was alone in her thinking. She's not, others feel the same. It's not disrespectful to people who don't share the same feelings to have those feelings yourself.

Like I said before...it's like a ff'ing mother going in to a thread where bf'ing mums are sprouting off about how much they enjoy their bf'ing relationship and being told their being rude and to respect those that don't bf. One has nothing to do with the other.

MamaLlama

29-04-2009, 15:34

I think if you read #38, #39 and #60 you can see where the lording it over people started.

forbetoel

29-04-2009, 15:35

:laughing: You're hilarious. No truly. You're right you can't see where the mods deleted anything by you because they had to delete your whole post.

Wow indeed.
.

:laughing: Hilarious indeed! Hilarious or selective memory - maybe both.

OMgosh, I am seriously gobsmacked that what started off as a lovely thread has turned so nasty. How does me or the OP or anyone else saying they enjoy their kids company reflect on anybody else???????? :confused:

Why try to steal other people's joy just because you don't feel it yourself?

Exactly!:thumbsup:

To be fair though the OP was from someone asking if she was only one that felt the way she did - her feelings being that she doesn't get lonely with just her and her DD and doesn't crave adult interaction like other mothers do. It's not a thread bagging out those that don't feel that way.

Yup, that is right.:yes:

I didn't say you couldn't. But this thread has not been disrespectful to those that think differently. My point was that this thread was started by someone who wondered if she was alone in her thinking. She's not, others feel the same. It's not disrespectful to people who don't share the same feelings to have those feelings yourself.

Like I said before...it's like a ff'ing mother going in to a thread where bf'ing mums are sprouting off about how much they enjoy their bf'ing relationship and being told their being rude and to respect those that don't bf. One has nothing to do with the other.

:yes:

forbetoel

29-04-2009, 15:39

I think if you read #38, #39 and #60 you can see where the lording it over people started.

:laughing:You have got to be kidding! A posters own personal experience.:confused:

You amaze me at how intolerant you are of other peoples experiences but yet you repeatedly demand respect and empathy for your own feelings.

Areca

29-04-2009, 15:42

:laughing:You have got to be kidding! A posters own personal experience.:confused:

You amaze me up how intolerant you are of other peoples experiences but yet you repeatedly demand respect and empathy for your own feelings.

:iagree: It makes my mind boggle.

Leisa21

29-04-2009, 15:43

I think if you read #38, #39 and #60 you can see where the lording it over people started.
I took the post about having loveless homes to mean that their parents weren't all that nice. Not that their parents didn't enjoy the company of their children.

My husband grew up in a family where his mother and father hated each other and the children were only offered affection if they scored a goal at soccer or got an A++++ at school. Anything other than perfection went unnoticed. They were told that they had to do this, this and that or they weren't good enough to be a *insert surname here*. That is the kind of cold, loveless home I was referring to.

Obviously it turned sour because you thought we were being nasty when you just didn't understand or at least try to.

Areca

29-04-2009, 15:45

I took the post about having loveless homes to mean that their parents weren't all that nice. Not that their parents didn't enjoy the company of their children.

My husband grew up in a family where his mother and father hated each other and the children were only offered affection if they scored a goal at soccer or got an A++++ at school. Anything other than perfection went unnoticed. They were told that they had to do this, this and that or they weren't good enough to be a *insert surname here*. That is the kind of cold, loveless home I was referring to.

Obviously it turned sour because you thought we were being nasty when you just didn't understand or at least try to.

Don't even bother trying to explain yourself Leisa. You didn't say anything that could be taken as anything but a personal experience.

forbetoel

29-04-2009, 15:45

I took the post about having loveless homes to mean that their parents weren't all that nice. Not that their parents didn't enjoy the company of their children.

My husband grew up in a family where his mother and father hated each other and the children were only offered affection if they scored a goal at soccer or got an A++++ at school. Anything other than perfection went unnoticed. They were told that they had to do this, this and that or they weren't good enough to be a *insert surname here*. That is the kind of cold, loveless home I was referring to.

Obviously it turned sour because you thought we were being nasty when you just didn't understand or at least try to.

I don't think you need to explain yourself. There was nothing wrong with your post.:)

MamaLlama

29-04-2009, 15:49

forbetoel

29-04-2009, 15:54

No Leisa it was pretty clear that the alternatives were "love being home with your kids (with or without craving some time to yourself) and 'giving your all' - whatever that means) or being like her parents with no "warmth".

Clear to you.:cool:

You make imaginary words between the lines.

You have called sahm's some of the most derogatory nasty names I have ever heard. You obviously have huge chip on your shoulders, and I hope you get some help with that, but in the meantime, maybe stay away from threads that are started for mums to chat about enjoying their kids - it obviously isn't your thing, and seems to upset you a great deal.

Leisa21

29-04-2009, 15:55

Thanks guys. I was just gobsmacked that someone took them that way!

Leisa21

29-04-2009, 15:57

No Leisa it was pretty clear that the alternatives were "love being home with your kids (with or without craving some time to yourself) and 'giving your all' - whatever that means) or being like her parents with no "warmth".
I've tried being polite to you but you're just a rude woman and I hope you get over yourself one day or you'll end up with no one or nothing. Dont put words in my mouth to suit your stupid argument.

MamaLlama

29-04-2009, 15:58

You obviously have huge chip on your shoulders, and I hope you get some help with that, but in the meantime, maybe stay away from threads that are started for mums to chat about enjoying their kids - it obviously isn't your thing, and seems to upset you a great deal.

I'm a big girl. You'll just have to put up with me in whatever post I choose to read. :laughing::laughing:

And calling in the posse to call me names doesn't really indicate much maturity. :no:

Areca

29-04-2009, 15:59

*walks away from computer shaking head* Wow.

Areca

29-04-2009, 16:00

I'm a big girl. You'll just have to put up with me in whatever post I choose to read. :laughing::laughing:

And calling in the posse to call me names doesn't really indicate much maturity. :no:

Until you get banned of course.

MamaLlama

29-04-2009, 16:02

I'm sure I'll be in good company.

Refresh

29-04-2009, 16:05

This is one of the posts you refer to....

Yep DD is a good sleeper mostly, from 8 weeks slept through most nights.
This Gruffalo book sounds great, will have to get me a copy.

DD is a good sleeper mostly....DD is a good sleeper mostly....DD is a good sleeper mostly.....nope cannot see how that has anything to do with anyone but Mumum and her DD....and you asked the question Mamalama, was she supposed to ignore you or lie? She did not say, 'my DD is a good sleeper and that is because I am a great mum, much better than you infact....' :rolleyes:

Why are you so defensive about everything MLlama?

OH, and Forbo!!! Why didn't you tell me you had a posse? I thought we were friends :hissy::hissy:

Ana Gram

29-04-2009, 16:08

Interesting really. I am sure this thread started out with the best intentions, as they always do. MmamLlama is not the only one who has found a few things said negatively yet everyone seems to be jumping on her. And interestingly, when she did start her own thread about the opposite of this thread, it got closed because of the nastiness.

Leisa21

29-04-2009, 16:09

Why are you so defensive about everything
I dont even want to speculate. When someone can take what Mummum81 and I said and turn it into spite is clearly just causing trouble.

Remember Ffrenchstar, I said you have to be at home alllll day long in order to love your children:rolleyes:. Lets not forget I was talking about my husband being wonderful and loving... he works full time! She's just deliberatly causing trouble, she seems bored to me!

SimplyMum

29-04-2009, 16:12

It's funny- my interpretation of a thread sometimes changes from when I read the title to other posts.

To me 'Am I the only one who enjoys my childs company' didn't mean I had to be in the room with them 100% of the time and I would rather spend every day, day in and day out being with them than being with my family, siblings, mummy/daddy, partner, friends, alone.

To me it meant, I like their company! I like my kid! He's great! He's fun! His laugh is infectous, esp when you kiss him and snuggle his neck, or when you tickle his belly. It's a great laugh! I love hearing it!

I don't think the op meant for the title to say 'Do you never get angry/frustrated with your kids, do you never crave adult attention (even for just 5min)'. I think every parent experiences this at some stage. I don't think a day goes past where I don't want to put my hands over my ears and yell 'la la la la la la' rather than listen to one more question or one more 'Do you know why I'm wearing green today Mum'. But in saying that, I still think he's great company. He's great to chase around the house- watching those little legs move as quickly as they want them to.

Refresh

29-04-2009, 16:13

Chelle, most people on here can have a polite discussion, no matter if they agree or not....yourself included.....I don't think anyone has taken offence to anyone except MamaLlama because she is just so rude, not just about this topic but all of them :hair:

I know Leisa....sharing your own experience should not reflect or upset anyone else...things that make me upset with someone else's own experience or cause me to get defensive are ALWAYS the things that I realise that I need to work on or have issues with or feel inadequate with.

Chunkydunks

29-04-2009, 16:14

I went back and read the posts stated and the two being referred to as "pot stirrers" are far from it. All mummum was saying was that she can understand that a single mother would crave adult company....she didn't say anything about it being bad that others crave it too.

As for what Leisa said.....she was talking about her DH's experience. I don't see how that could be taken personally by anyone.

I don't understand why this thread turned nasty. I'm one of those that does struggle to enjoy time with their child...I've followed it right the way through and seen nothing that I could take as judgment on my situation. I think its absolutely wonderful that people love being with their children like that. I always thought I'd be like that and I was like that....its only in the last 12 months that things have changed.

I'm baffled:confused:

Ana Gram

29-04-2009, 16:16

Actually, no I have taken offence to some of the comment that people have bitten back with. I just zip my lip which is sometimes a bit hard to do.

bada

29-04-2009, 16:17

OMG only on bubhub could something like this turn nasty.

Anyone who interprets this thread as an attack on them or their parenting obviously needs to take a step back and deal with their own issues.

There is not one post I have made that implies 'you are a bad parent if you don't enjoy spending time with your kids' I don't know how on earth someone gets that out of this thread unless they have some issues going on themselves.

This was a thread I started because I feel like I am a freak for not craving adult interaction since having my daughter.

The other point I made was about appreciating her now, for all I can see in the future is her growing up to hate me, because that's the only relationship I know between parent and child. That statement has nothing to do with the way anyone else parents.:confused:

I have never ever seen such a misinterpretation as this before.

~Temet Nosce~

29-04-2009, 16:22

Refresh

29-04-2009, 16:24

Anyway, Chelle, I am sorry that you were offended :hugs:

The other point I made was about appreciating her now, for all I can see in the future is her growing up to hate me, because that's the only relationship I know between parent and child. That statement has nothing to do with the way anyone else parents.

and, I sooo know where you are coming from. I had and still don't have any relationship with my mum and only a smidgen of one with my dad....I hate, hate, hate the idea of it being like that with my kids....when I think about it, it makes me cry. I am just doing my best to make sure this does not happen, this is due to my own experiences and what I do not want for my children.

Leisa21

29-04-2009, 16:33

and, I sooo know where you are coming from. I had and still don't have any relationship with my mum and only a smidgen of one with my dad....I hate, hate, hate the idea of it being like that with my kids....when I think about it, it makes me cry. I am just doing my best to make sure this does not happen, this is due to my own experiences and what I do not want for my children.
:hugs::hugs::hugs: