Were you smacked hard, Will you smack your children hard?

[girly]

I was, LOL. I was laugh about it now, But I was literally beaten as a kid, I was so naughty, I was hit with anything, belts, brooms and the good old wooden spoon.

I don't think I will smack DD that hard but if she was as naughty will I not hit her the same way I was disiplined.

Were you smacked as a child, and will you smack your child the same way you were..???

[Refresh]

I don't remember if I was smacked or not....we used to smack (lightly) on the odd occasion but have decided that we will not be doing it ever again....I am not totally opposed to it but have decided that we will not do it.

[Refresh]

....and I am so sorry to hear you were hit with brooms etc :(:(

[~Bec~]

I was smacked but only on the legs or bum by an open hand - no marks left.

I don't think I will smack, at least I have promised myself that I won't smack out of my own frustration. I haven't smacked to date and would be furious if anyone smacked my child and he doesn't understand 'naughty' or that he's doing wrong and why it's wrong. Smacking to him would be just someone's trying to hurt him. :crying: I'll wait till he's older and see how it goes... :)

[bada]

I was disciplined in much the same way as you were Shiraaa, as well as having things thrown at me. Using objects to beat children makes me feel sick and angry.

I don't want to ever have to hit my children and hope to do everything I can to avoid it but no matter what I will never ever use an object to beat them :no: It's so wrong and pathetic for a grown person to do something like that to a child.

ETA I have never been able to keep a wooden spoon in my house to this day because of my mum's obsession with her bloddy wooden spoon

[Bron]

I was smacked, but only with an open hand on the leg.

I don't intend to smack my DS. He turns two tomorrow and he's not been smacked yet. I don't plan to start either.

[SweetSerenity]

I was smacked, the only object we were hit with were wooden spoons, which snapped on the odd occassion lol.

I don't see my "smacking days" as abuse at all... it was a smack when we deserved it and that was that...we learnt from it.

I smack DS VERY occassionally...usually in dangerous situations.

My main form of discipline is taking away what he loves the most and "putting it in the bin"...even though they magically appear the next day again lol, but it works! :yes:

[Luna Lovegood]

I was disciplined in much the same way as you were Shiraaa, as well as having things thrown at me. Using objects to beat children makes me feel sick and angry.

I don't want to ever have to hit my children and hope to do everything I can to avoid it but no matter what I will never ever use an object to beat them :no: It's so wrong and pathetic for a grown person to do something like that to a child.

I was smaked but not to the extend that you two mention.

I agree with Mummum81 on punishing children...:goodvibes:

[MothersMilk]

I was hit as a child and i will not do that to my children. :no:

[tootiredtosleep]

I was only smacked on a few occasions, usually when I had done something unsafe.

I don't think that smacking really works TBH.

If I was going to, it would be soft and with my hand. No way would I ever use a stick/spoon/belt etc on them.

ATM if DD1 is naughty, her favourite toys go on the fridge. Some days it's pretty full up there.

[KatiesMum]

I was smacked, the only object we were hit with were wooden spoons, which snapped on the odd occassion lol.

I don't see my "smacking days" as abuse at all... it was a smack when we deserved it and that was that...we learnt from it.

I smack DS VERY occassionally...usually in dangerous situations.

My main form of discipline is taking away what he loves the most and "putting it in the bin"...even though they magically appear the next day again lol, but it works! :yes:


I could have posted that myself.

We were smacked with the wooden spoon ... and Im certainly not scarred for life or emotionally disturbed by it.

But - different things are appropriate for different children. To date, my DD responds well to posative attention, and taking away toys/treats etc. She craves approval and 'doesnt want Mummy to be cross' so will quite happily do the right thing most times.

Might change in the future and I will re-assess ... but definitely not the wooden spoon :no:

[girly]

DO you think that our mums and dads said that about us when we were babies, "I'll never smack my daughter/Son"

[Luna Lovegood]

DO you think that our mums and dads said that about us when we were babies, "I'll never smack my daughter/Son"

Nahhh it was the "done thing" then...

Just like we have parenting trends now. :)

[mum2bubba]

Yes I was smacked hard, with wooden spoons, plastic spoons, belts, metal spoons, feather dusters (just about anything really) and no I will NOT be doing that to my kids. Ever. :shame:

[Harlequin]

Feather dusters are evil creations. ;) I remember the welts on my hands from trying to protect my bottom haha.

No i won't be smacking Ava with anything but my hand and even then I try not to do that.

[Areca]

I was smacked maybe once or twice a year, with an open hand on a bare leg. I remember it hurting!

I have not and will not smack my kids. I believe there are far more effective ways to discipline a child these days, ways that weren't really around when we were growing up. My mum agrees with this.
I have an almost 3.5 year old and a 19 month old. I can't say that at times it hasn't been hard to not smack...there have been occassions where I've been so frustrated I've had to walk away and calm down myself before I could continue to deal with DD1 (a much stronger willed child than DD2) but I have continued to change my parenting techniques and now we hardly ever have 'one of those days.'

[studyingECS]

I was smacked as a child, not very hard and with an open hand. I can't remember it hurting at all really.

I won't be smacking my child because frankly I think as a form of disipline it doesn't work. It wasn't a deterrant for me not to misbehave.:no:

[Looshkin]

I won't smack my kids, I don't see the point.
I mean, it never worked on me.

I was smacked occasionally, sometimes with the ol' wooden spoon.

I was actually, really really naughty and would always defy any authority and continue to do what she said not to do if she smacked me anyway,

(god I remember yelling 'only if you can catch me' and running a few k's through paddocks with my poor beraggled mum running behind me in her undies with a wooden spoon trying to catch me.
she never caught me.:p

Poor mum.

So yeah, in think smacking seems redundant. If I would have done whatever I was doing regardless of a smack, obviously that method doesn't really work and other methods would be more effective.

Oh I remember when she hid the modem (dial up days) and we couldn't use the net.. and locked the telly/ took the remote so we couldn't watch telly OR be on the net... oh the humanity!!!

[reAllytee]

My parents used the wooden spoon as a form of discipline but rarely used it ... Guess it was more the threat of it than anything else & TBH because we were over 6yrs when it was used it was honestly because we were ferals lol.

My parents parented all 3 of us very differently because we were all 3 different girls & I do the same with my boys that being said I dont tend to see smacking as such as abuse but I dont think its often as effective as we wish it to be. I also dont think the excuse that " my parents survived & so did I " is really a good enough excuse IMO.

My views & ideas etc are constantly changing in regards to learning, growing & also how to raise my kids so whilst we have smacked in the past its something we aim to avoid because we dont like it but sadly sometimes its a knee jerk reaction to certain moments & we strive to avoid it especially now that we know better iykwim.

[shockinamillion]

I was belted to the point of bleeding and was slapped and smacked with books or bits of wood by my mums XH. She would smack with the wooden spoon or her hand sometimes but what he did to me was disgusting and wrong.

I will NEVER hit my children like I was hit. I am not opposed to a hand on a clothed bum from time to time if the situation calls.

I once could not go to school for a week I was belted so bad. I don't know how anyone can laugh about this type of thing. I think about it and it makes me sick.

[Miriam]

Yes I was hit as a child. It hurt physically and it hurt emotionally. I do not intend to ever hit my child.

[Purplebird]

I was smacked with an open hand on the legs/bum. I won't be smacking my kids - I don't think it works and I think it's hypercritical to smack your children then tell them not to hit others.

[mum2bubba]

I was belted to the point of bleeding and was slapped and smacked with books or bits of wood by my mums XH. She would smack with the wooden spoon or her hand sometimes but what he did to me was disgusting and wrong.

I will NEVER hit my children like I was hit. I am not opposed to a hand on a clothed bum from time to time if the situation calls.

I once could not go to school for a week I was belted so bad. I don't know how anyone can laugh about this type of thing. I think about it and it makes me sick.

:hugs: I don't understand how people can laugh at sh!t like this either. My step mother used to hit me with anything she could find and not just on the hand or backside either, she'd hit me on the head and face, I often went to school with bruises and cuts and scratches. I also got a massive black eye once. That kind of stuff is abuse imho.

[Pax]

I was smacked probably less that 5 times in my childhood.

i have smacked my kids hard probably less than 5 times as well...

i wont ever smack them again like that though.

i put it down to being a young mum .. i know better now and wont do that again.

[SweetSerenity]

:hugs: I don't understand how people can laugh at sh!t like this either. My step mother used to hit me with anything she could find and not just on the hand or backside either, she'd hit me on the head and face, I often went to school with bruises and cuts and scratches. I also got a massive black eye once. That kind of stuff is abuse imho.

Who is laughing?? :confused:

I can't see any posts of anyone laughing at people who were severly hit???

Am I missing something?

[mum2bubba]

I think it's hypercritical to smack your children then tell them not to hit others.

Yeah I agree. I have smacked my kids in the past (mostly when they've touched something dangerous) but then I've thought 'hang on a minute, if I am hitting them to get them to do something/or not do something how are they going to learn NOT to hit to get what THEY want or to get their message across. I often see people smacking their kids and at the same time saying "don't hit your brother/sister" I just sit their thinking 'well, I wonder where they're getting it from' :rolleyes:

[Pax]

i think though if your kid is hitting others it is appropriate to smack them and say "it hurts doesnt it? so dont hit because now you know it hurts and someone will do it back"

:yes: best and fastest way for them to learn that lesson.

[mum2bubba]

Who is laughing?? :confused:

I can't see any posts of anyone laughing at people who were severly hit???

Am I missing something?

I was just responding to a post. Maybe people haven't laughed about it on here (not sure if Shockinamillion meant people laughing on here or not) but I do know people in real life who laugh about it. Gets me very angry.

[SweetSerenity]

I was just responding to a post. Maybe people haven't laughed about it on here (not sure if Shockinamillion meant people laughing on here or not) but I do know people in real life who laugh about it. Gets me very angry.

Ahh I see :yes:

And yes I totally agree, abuse is not a laughing matter at all :no: I can't understand how someone could ever find abuse an amusing topic anyway?

Thanks for clearing that up :)

[mum2bubba]

i think though if your kid is hitting others it is appropriate to smack them and say "it hurts doesnt it? so dont hit because now you know it hurts and someone will do it back"

:yes: best and fastest way for them to learn that lesson.

I don't know. Two wrongs don't make a right imo. I know people who also bite their kids too. Just not something I would do.

[mum2bubba]

Ahh I see :yes:

And yes I totally agree, abuse is not a laughing matter at all :no: I can't understand how someone could ever find abuse an amusing topic anyway?

Thanks for clearing that up :)

Grant and his siblings were abused as kids and they often laugh about it, but I think its their way of dealing with it. :(

[shockinamillion]

I have had people laugh and tell me to get over it. It hurts. I had to speak to the pig last night and the only way for my little brother to come see his neice and nephew when they are born is for him to come too. I HATE him and cannot forgive him.

I am really happy for the latest ad campaign highlighting child abuse and how it still affects us adults.

[mum2bubba]

I have tried speaking to my dad about what happened with my step mother but he has said "you should be over it by now" yeah, ok dad. Thanks. :rolleyes:

[WorkingClassMum]

My views & ideas etc are constantly changing in regards to learning, growing & also how to raise my kids so whilst we have smacked in the past its something we aim to avoid because we dont like it but sadly sometimes its a knee jerk reaction to certain moments & we strive to avoid it especially now that we know better iykwim.

:iagree:

I was abused as a child - and after much soul searching and counselling am striving to not smack my kids ever again.

Any smacking will only ever be open handed on the hand, and it's something I'm working on never doing.

[TeenyT]

I dont remember being smacked on a regular basis. The one and only smack I do remember was being hit with the wooden spoon after cutting up a dress that mum had made for me to wear to my aunty's wedding. I was 3 and it had polka dots all over it so I cut the dots. Mum must have been livid, but probably more upset because she put a lot of work into it. But the thing I remember most is how much worse and upset she felt after she whacked me with the spoon. I remember her saying "I've left a mark. I'm such a bad mother" and crying. She still hates to talk about it, even today when I make a joke about it.

I have smacked DD with an open hand, on the nappy when she has been doing something that will cause her harm and she's been given plenty of cautions to stop. I am trying other methods though to avoid smacking at all.

[sockstealingpoltergeist]

No I don't smack, yes I have in the past with my older child. I have a lot of guilt from it and I know I won't do it again.


Other forms of discipline take a lot more effort, however they work better IMO.

I was smacked, it didn't deter me, it just made me sneakier.

[misskittyfantastico]

I was smacked - not often and not hard.
I wish I could say I'd never smacked any of my children, but that would be a lie. I have and I feel extremely guilty and ashamed for doing it:(

[Tam-I-Am]

:hugs: Tabula - you know I'm the same :(

I was hit as a child. Sometimes with what my parents thought was 'good reason' - sometimes quite arbitrarily. Sometimes so hard I had bruises. Sometimes not hard at all. I am angry and hurt and upset about how I was treated as a child. I try to never inflict that on my children, but as reAllytee said - sometimes it is a knee jerk reaction - one that I try my best at all times to have under control. I don't think smacking does anything except teaches a child that it's okay to abuse somebody younger and/or more vulnerable than yourself when you're frustrated and upset.

If I said I'd never done it, thought, I'd be lying. I have, and I feel upset and ashamed when I think about the times I have :(

[Mamalicious]

I wish I could say I'd never smacked any of my children, but that would be a lie. I have and I feel extremely guilty and ashamed for doing it:(

Same.


I don't think smacking does anything except teaches a child that it's okay to abuse somebody younger and/or more vulnerable than yourself when you're frustrated and upset.

:iagree:

I was smacked...my sister and I used to get our heads banged together, big headaches!

[Pax]

I don't know. Two wrongs don't make a right imo. I know people who also bite their kids too. Just not something I would do.

the childs brain is NOT that complex.

do what i said.. but follow up with lots of hugs and cuddles and love.. they will learn AND feel loved.

i dunno why its just kids.. :yes:

[MummyGoingMad]

i was smacked as a child and given "the belt" ie belted with a leather belt :o sounds bad but it wasnt often and i had usually done something pretty bad. it was never to the point of bleeding and i probably remember it as harder and sorer than it actually was, i remember i used 2 start crying before i had even been hit.

i dont smack dd or ds but i think that a lot of ppl dont now because discipline standards and ideals have changed and whereas in the past many parents viewed smacking as the way to go, now there is a lot of controversy and time out is favoured by many people in society.

if a parent smacks they're child thats fine to me its their choice as long as the child is happy and healthy. i think its more important to be fair and consistent with discipline. if you're injuring the child as some ppl in this thread were as children then thats a different story altogether though

[sockstealingpoltergeist]

the childs brain is NOT that complex.

do what i said.. but follow up with lots of hugs and cuddles and love.. they will learn AND feel loved.

i dunno why its just kids.. :yes:

Really? Not complex, I have to disagree, and I can't understand how you came to that conclusion.

[Myztiks#1Fan]

my parents smacked us with what ever they could find...belt, jug cord, wooden spoon, steel cap boots, hand, sometimes i would get glass plates thrown at me(when i was between 7-10yrs and have a scar from one breaking on my leg).

what ever they could find, we would get. i smack my child but not to the extreme my parents did. he gets smacks on his bum(usually quite padded due to the nappy) and on the hand. but he just laughs at me when i smack him so it really does no good at all as its now a game to coop

[Areca]

Really? Not complex, I have to disagree, and I can't understand how you came to that conclusion.

:yes: I also don't get how you can tell someone to do as you said Morrigan when they are clearly uncomfortable with the idea.

I've had a hitter and a biter and I've never hit or bit them back. I now don't have a hitter on my hands and my biter smothers you in kisses instead...no violence needed. I for one will not be taking on your advice, I strongly disagree with the concept.

[3blue&1pink]

I was belted to the point of bleeding and was slapped and smacked with books or bits of wood by my mums XH. She would smack with the wooden spoon or her hand sometimes but what he did to me was disgusting and wrong.

I will NEVER hit my children like I was hit. I am not opposed to a hand on a clothed bum from time to time if the situation calls.

I once could not go to school for a week I was belted so bad. I don't know how anyone can laugh about this type of thing. I think about it and it makes me sick.

Very very similar to my situation.

:hugs: I noticed we are the same age.. so when I thought I was the only child in the world with an a$$hole step father who was cruel I wasn't!

:hugs:

[mazzie]

I was smacked once in my whole child hood and I remember the day. I will never smack my children

[Freya]

:hugs: Tabula - you know I'm the same :(

I was hit as a child. Sometimes with what my parents thought was 'good reason' - sometimes quite arbitrarily. Sometimes so hard I had bruises. Sometimes not hard at all. I am angry and hurt and upset about how I was treated as a child. I try to never inflict that on my children, but as reAllytee said - sometimes it is a knee jerk reaction - one that I try my best at all times to have under control. I don't think smacking does anything except teaches a child that it's okay to abuse somebody younger and/or more vulberable than yourself when you're frustrated and upset.

If I said I'd never done it, thought, I'd be lying. I have, and I feel upset and ashamed when I think about the times I have :(

Same here and I agree.:(

[WorkingClassMum]

*sigh* Morrigan, you are so right, a child's brain is not complex, and yet you are so wrong.

A child's brain does not yet have all it's connection it's a blank slate, just waiting for input.

LIke a sponge, they'll suck up all what's supplied.

Intense violence makes a huge mark, hence why adult concepts like tv shows hurt a child, whereas an adult can mostly keep themsleves removed on an emotional level.

Maybe one smack mark fades in moments, but the lesson of hurt, fear and betrayed trust is indelible.

My ex used to kiss and cuddle me after he beat the **** out of me. I'd hate my child to feel how I did and I'd hate them to learn that as acceptable behaviour.

[Mamalicious]

i put it down to being a young mum ..

:rolleyes::barf:


:yes: I also don't get how you can tell someone to do as you said Morrigan when they are clearly uncomfortable with the idea.

I've had a hitter and a biter and I've never hit or bit them back. I now don't have a hitter on my hands and my biter smothers you in kisses instead...no violence needed. I for one will not be taking on your advice, I strongly disagree with the concept.

:iagree:



*sigh* Morrigan, you are so right, a child's brain is not complex, and yet you are so wrong.

A child's brain does not yet have all it's connection it's a blank slate, just waiting for input.

LIke a sponge, they'll suck up all what's supplied.

Intense violence makes a huge mark, hence why adult concepts like tv shows hurt a child, whereas an adult can mostly keep themsleves removed on an emotional level.

Maybe one smack mark fades in moments, but the lesson of hurt, fear and betrayed trust is indelible.

My ex used to kiss and cuddle me after he beat the **** out of me. I'd hate my child to feel how I did and I'd hate them to learn that as acceptable behaviour.

You are so right, and hugs for you WCM. :hugs::hugs:

[shockinamillion]

Very very similar to my situation.

:hugs: I noticed we are the same age.. so when I thought I was the only child in the world with an a$$hole step father who was cruel I wasn't!

:hugs:

:hugs: There are lots of us. Possibly the saddest part is that he is now so desperate for me NOT to hate him that I hold all the power cards now and I love it. That is a VERY scary thought.

[Lilahh]

violence begets violence, in all its forms.

[mum2bubba]

:yes: I also don't get how you can tell someone to do as you said Morrigan when they are clearly uncomfortable with the idea.

I've had a hitter and a biter and I've never hit or bit them back. I now don't have a hitter on my hands and my biter smothers you in kisses instead...no violence needed. I for one will not be taking on your advice, I strongly disagree with the concept.

So do I, sorry. I have been told to bite Skye back if she bites me and the same person also told Hayley (someone whos never bitten anyone in her life) to bite Skye back if she bites her. It didn't make sense.

[Skittles]

i was belted by my father. To the point i had to wear tracksuits to school in summer to cover teh bruises. I have had my head through a wall. A jug cord across my head. And almost miscarried my baby at 17. Yes i smack my kids. But very rarely and i feel terrible afterwards and it DOES NOT WORK!! I am trying to endevor to not smack. I know how deep a fear it can put in a child. I know there is a big difference between smacking and abuse. But i also know the line is so easy to cross by an angry tired parent.

[Skittles]

So do I, sorry. I have been told to bite Skye back if she bites me and the same person also told Hayley (someone whos never bitten anyone in her life) to bite Skye back if she bites her. It didn't make sense.

I have to admit i have used this. DS was a shocking bitter. He would bit through to the bone!! And that was on my finger. Let alone another child at daycare. One day he bit me and broke through the skin. It was bad!!! So i turned around and bit him back. Not hard. But enough to give him a little bit of a fright. He has never bitten anyone again.... I was at the end of my rope with him. And the thought of him doing that to another little kid i was worried he would get their whole finger off!!

[~Temet Nosce~]

Yes I was smacked, hard, yes I still love my parents and they still love me, and No I will never smack my dd, but yes I have come very close.

[mummy2mimi]

i was smacked occasionally as a child, a few times when i was really bad i got the wooden spoon and 1 time it snapped!
i dont want 2 hit my daughter, especially out of frustration, i think if i ever do smack her it will b in dangerous situations like if she runs of 2wards the rd, but atm she stil a lil bubba (10months) and i could never hit her, bsides she wouldnt understand, but who knows when she older i mite feel differentley but ta the moment i dont intend on smacking

[shockinamillion]

i was belted by my father. To the point i had to wear tracksuits to school in summer to cover teh bruises. I have had my head through a wall. A jug cord across my head. And almost miscarried my baby at 17. Yes i smack my kids. But very rarely and i feel terrible afterwards and it DOES NOT WORK!! I am trying to endevor to not smack. I know how deep a fear it can put in a child. I know there is a big difference between smacking and abuse. But i also know the line is so easy to cross by an angry tired parent.
:hugs::hugs:

[Dreambeliever]

i will never smack my kids. And god help anyone else who tries.
smacking is the parent losing control. all it is doing is teaching the child that hitting is acceptable. there are so many other non-violent ways to disapline.
if saw someone in the street doing something i didnt approve of and i went up to them and smacked them that would be counted as assult. so why is it acceptable to smack a child?
it doesnt work and i wont be doing it. same goes for bitting back, licking soap after swearing, etc...it is all out dated and unnessesary.

[Queen]

I was smacked, the only object we were hit with were wooden spoons, which snapped on the odd occassion lol.

I don't see my "smacking days" as abuse at all... it was a smack when we deserved it and that was that...we learnt from it.

I smack DS VERY occassionally...usually in dangerous situations.

My main form of discipline is taking away what he loves the most and "putting it in the bin"...even though they magically appear the next day again lol, but it works! :yes:

:iagree:I could have written that myself...
Except my Dad used to hit us with the plastic rods, you join gyprock together with....