single parent adoption

[blackkitty]

Hi....I am a single girl in her (nearly) mid thirties. At the moment I am in the process of being approved for foster care. Through misfortune and bad luck I have not found a man to be a permanent part of my life. I am a high school teacher and I am financially secure and would like to have a child in my life. I have decided to start with looking after foster children as I know there is a great need for loving safe homes for these children:o . I considered permanent foster care here, and adoption in Aus, but the foster care system is full of beurocracy. Preferring married or defacto couples.

In the long term I would like to go ahead with an intercountry adoption, as I have found that there is a huge issue with female babies and abandonment in China :gloomy: . The chinese government goes out of there way to enable local adoptions first before even considering overseas placement. Yet still thousands of babies (mostly girls) are being left in institutions which hinders their development.

I was wondering whether anyone had experience in single adoption? Some of my reasons for adoption are I suppose selfish in that I as a single person I want to bring up a child on my own (this doesn't mean I won't find my perfect match partner in the near future). But I feel a family with one parent would be better than an institution for a lifetime, and its long term effects. It takes about 3 years for a single person to adopt.

How would people react to a single person adoption?

33 and counting:smiliedance:

[nemosmum]

:yelclap: I applaud your honesty.

I saw an oprah special on chinese institutions and was horrified at what I saw:crying: little girl babies being tied to chairs over potty type things and left for days with no human contact!

So I am all for adoption (single/double/gay) I dont think it matters when it comes to extreme cases like in China were there are so many babies left to live in such conditions!

I really hope your dream of fostering/adopting comes true as I think it takes a very loving, committed individual to take this step:hugs:

And btw heres hoping you meet Prince charming aka a guy like Brad pitt along the way:D hehehehee

[nemosmum]

Sorry Blackitty I forgot to say Welcome to Bubhub:wave: :D :smiliedance:

[SimplyMum]

I am all for it. I too have dreamed of adopting- don't know why really, just really like to take a special someone out of that environment and pour unconditional love on them for years to come!
I am single at the moment, but I have nothing against having a partner there. As long as they are all for it and positive- just another bucket of love to pour!:laughing:
Obviously I intend on doing this when I am a bit more finacially secure. But let me know how you go as it's someting I am definatley going to do, and would like to know the procedure and the difficulty.

[SassyMummy]

I, personally, have no problems with a single person adopting a child. So long as the person is capable...then why not?

I don't know very much about the adoption process...but I do know that it's VERY DIFFICULT to adopt...even when you have a "prefered" circumstance (like being married, wealthy, not too old etc).

Hopefully you'll be able to adopt...but have you considered sperm donation if you can't? I understand that adopting is like winning twice - you get to have a child, AND you get to save an orphaned child...but if you can't (for whatever reason)...you could always have a baby of your own. :fingerscrossed: you'll get yourself a bub though!

[blackkitty]

thanks for the support and comments:thumbsup:

I don't think I could consider a sperm donor, I would find it really hard to explain to my child why the father isn't a permanent part of their life. I think it would be less awkward to explain an adoption to a child than sperm donation. Also I have some genetic conditions in my family that I would prefer to try and avoid. Even if I was with a permanent partner, considering children, I still think I would want to adopt rather than have a biological child. Thanks for the suggestion anyway.

33 and counting::smiliedance:

[andi]

Hi,

I thought I would post this link for you.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/australians-adopt-china/?yguid=67077516

It is a yahoo group of people who are thinking of, in the process of, or who have already adopted from China. There are many single women on there, many of whom have sucessfully adopted and are awaiting their second child!! I know they have a seperate yahoo group too but am not sure of the address. They are a very supportive bunch of people.

I think doing lots of research is a really good thing and this group has heaps of resources.

As Jacinta has already mentioned the whole concept of 'saving a child' goes down not so well with the departments (and adoptive parents and their children too as it happens)! Researching as you are gives a better picture as to the realities of adopting from overseas and gets you thinking about why you really want to do it.

Good luck,
Andi
Mama to three daughters, born and adopted in China

[blackkitty]

Thanks for the link.: :thumbsup:



I actually found out about them yesterday, and joined the group, which was great. I also found through them another group that was for single parent adoptions in Australia. They have been very helpful.

I believe all of these chat groups are important, as they give you information you can't get from the relative government departments regarding adoption processes etc.





33 and counting::smiliedance:

[blackkitty]

Jacinta,

In response to your post. I realise these children are not perfect either and may even have attachment disorders coming from China:crying: . Every baby adopted or biological has the potential of a genetic condition. However, I would rather take a chance with a child that has been checked by a doctor and a basic medical report, than risk the genetic conditions I could impose on a biological child of my own, which I believe would be the greater risk. Thanks for your comment as I probably didn't clarify that enough:hugs: .


33 and counting::smiliedance: