The Mum instinct in me says fight for my niece!

[JackzMumma]

Hi all,

Today I found out that my nieces mother is doing drugs from the Child Protection Agency.:no: My brother and my nieces mother have not been together for 5 years. My brother, not for lack of wanting to or trying, hasn't seen his daughter in about 4.5 years, because in the end it was too hard.

My mum and dad tried to see their grand-daughter for Easters, Christmas's and Birthdays, but they were never invited in and eventually the mother changed her number, and then moved. And they were also told that they would have to be supervised by someone if they wanted visitation.:confused: Mum and dad basically got the hint they were not welcome, and so they walked away hoping that their grand-daughter would be looked after properly.

After hearing the news today, all I can think about is my 5 year old niece. She is well behind in school, and she only started prep this year. She's living with a drug addicted mother. And all I want to do is whisk her away, get her the education she deserves and protect her from a horrible future.:hugs:

But then comes the issues....
I need to protect my family from someone who can be potentially very dangerous, I have number 3 on the way, and although I feel we'd be the best thing for her - my Dh is an ex-primary school teacher - and the fact my brother couldn't cope and my parents are getting old.....my DH is now only into his 2nd year of an apprenticeship, so money is a factor, and we aren't even in our own home.

I don't know if this is a little over the top, but I worry my nieces mother would track us down and start a whole heap of crap if we did get involved. I want to be at the court, but should I be trying to get involved in something like this while I'm pregnant? If at all?? I know nothing about what could happen, and I've never been in any situation like this before.

Some advice, good or bad, I'll take it right now coz I'm really upset and confused. I'm really worried about my nieces welfare.

Thanks for reading.:yelclap:

[Roopee]

I would be involved. I couldn't imagine NOT being involved if that makes sense.

I could not sleep at night, knowing that a precious child, related to me, was experiencing this every day.

I'm really sorry to say this, I gte that your brother has some problems and I am trying really hard not to judge but how is it ever easier to simply walk away. that little girl is worth the fight, show her that someone out there cares.:flowerz:

[MW&S]

I really feel for you. Sounds like a dreadful situation.

Personally I don't think I would be able to walk away from it though. I would have the same fears as you but I just would not be able to sleep at night knowing I didn't try.

I hope you can find some peace in whatever you decide to do. And I hope your niece is OK.

Roopee - I think her brother sounds like he has a disability of sorts and was being abused by this woman. He probably felt he had no other option. And probably never imagined she would end up with a drug problem.

[Rabbity Babbity]

I agree with the previous two posters. I too, couldn;t walk away, and I would fight for her right to a life with a loving family, education, and other basic needs.

I guess one thing you have to ask yourself is: If you walk away from her will you ever forgive yourself???

Trust your instincts.

[Mum2Bella]

I would fight as hard as you can.


Today I found out that my nieces mother is doing drugs from the Child Protection Agency.I'm curious how you found out with child protection did they get in touch with you n let you know.

I would go seek legal advice n take your brother with you if he dont want to fight for his daughter then let him know you will.

go speak to child protection n ask what they are doing to protect your niece.

IMO i dont think your parents have tried hard enough to see their grandaughter as they have legal rights to their grandaughter.IMO supervise visit at a contact centre/child protection centre is better then no visit at all.

[terri]

as some one who's fighting for her own children in foster care but mature enough to acknowledge and allow my youngests fathers visitation.....


I was just an alcoholic not on any form of drugs and im glad some one took them away from me to give me the wake up call i needed .

ur neices mother might not get the wake up call i did but u can hope. Kinship care ( where family fosters the child) is a great idea because it allows the child to live with family but still has her basic rights to see her mother and hopefully (if the mother improves) to return to her care.

what this womans doing by denying your family access is ridiculous and every member of ur family has a right to at least have vistation with ur neice.

My youngests father was domestically violent to me and my eldest son but he is still allowed visitation under supervision. because as father of the child he has a right and since leaving him 18 months ago he has not sn or cared for his son not even payed child support but he is still aloowed visitation.

he cant however go for custody as re-unification is still with me but if i were however to completely slack off and show now intrest over a 3-6 month period they would look to Aaron before looking at permanent foster care.

My best advice is to put ur hand up for kinship care the mother can knock u back but the dept will look upon it fabourably as an alternative to foster care.

and as for ur concerns if the child was to come into ur care and the mother to cause trouble there are ways and means the dept will help to protect ur family as they do with foster parents and she wouldnt get too far with causing drama because she would get herself in a lot of trouble and basically forfeit her rights as a parent by causing such drama.

i know im not the best person to take advice from given my situation but id like to try and help so no other children go through the trouble my sons have been.

i would have allowed my children to go into kinship care rather than foster care and the only thing that stopped that was the fact that the only member of my family that had the time and means to be able to care for mysons lives in mackay north Qld and im in warwick in the darling downs region near toowoomba.

i hope i could help and i hope ur neice gets the care and love from her family she deserves:shakehands:

[JackzMumma]

I would fight as hard as you can.

I'm curious how you found out with child protection did they get in touch with you n let you know.

:yes:Yes they rang my mum, and left a message for my brother. And they finally had a meeting yesterday. And today they left another message on my mums phone saying that they urgently need to talk as soon as possible because something has happened in the 24hours since the meeting.:confused: But mums being trying to contact them, but she just gets the answering machine. You'd think if it was that urgent they would make every effort to contact us. In the mean time we are wondering what the hell has happened!!!:eek:

Next step is to find out what's happened. :fingerscrossed: everything is okay. Doubt it though.

[Roopee]

Oh I hope everything is ok with her..please fight for her and keep us updated.:hugs:

[JackzMumma]

I was just an alcoholic not on any form of drugs and im glad some one took them away from me to give me the wake up call i needed .

ur neices mother might not get the wake up call i did but u can hope. Kinship care ( where family fosters the child) is a great idea because it allows the child to live with family but still has her basic rights to see her mother and hopefully (if the mother improves) to return to her care.

what this womans doing by denying your family access is ridiculous and every member of ur family has a right to at least have vistation with ur neice.

My best advice is to put ur hand up for kinship care the mother can knock u back but the dept will look upon it fabourably as an alternative to foster care.

and as for ur concerns if the child was to come into ur care and the mother to cause trouble there are ways and means the dept will help to protect ur family as they do with foster parents and she wouldnt get too far with causing drama because she would get herself in a lot of trouble and basically forfeit her rights as a parent by causing such drama.

i know im not the best person to take advice from given my situation but id like to try and help so no other children go through the trouble my sons have been.

i hope i could help and i hope ur neice gets the care and love from her family she deserves:shakehands:

No, thank you very much for your advice. Coming from the other side of the coin has helped as well.

My brother did ask if he could see his daughter, but he was turned down by the mother, and in the same breath was told how bad a father he was for not being there for his daughter. :confused:

This woman seriously scares my parents.:( I'm not saying they shouldn't try, but I'm doing my best to understand how they feel. I know they would take my niece in a heartbeat, like I would, but unfortunately it's just not that simple is it? She believed smoking and getting drunk throughout pregnancy was fine.:hair: Now drugs???????

[JackzMumma]

Oh I hope everything is ok with her..please fight for her and keep us updated.:hugs:

Oh I will, just writing about it is helping me nut things out, and thankyou for reading and giving your opinions.:thumbsup:

[gizmoduckus]

I don't have much to add but I hope everything turns out for the best for that little girl. :hugs:

[Mum2Bella]

But mums being trying to contact them, but she just gets the answering machine. You'd think if it was that urgent they would make every effort to contact us. In the mean time we are wondering what the hell has hapeened!!!
sorry to be blunt but i would get my butt down to the office n demand to see someone on the case.we used to wait to hear from CP but the calls nwever came,we would ring every 2nd day to be told the case worker was out of the office or cant be reached then we decided bugger this we would drive the hour to got to the office n demand to speak to someone.n we didnt leave until we did.

IMO i think if they have rang to tell you about the change it must be serious i just hope the your niece hasnt gone into foster care already without giving your family the chance to take her.



also i would be very careful what you put on the net about your niece n her mum.we fought hard for our daughter to be returned to her father but i wont go into in the main forum.

[JackzMumma]

Well I apologise to anyone I offended in my last posts. It's a very shocking and confusing time, and sometimes you don't realise something you say could offened other people who have been in a similar situation.:footinmouth:

My niece has been taken into foster care, it happened over night without them informing us.:no: I was not told the circumstances, and if care needs to be an ongoing thing we have put our hands up:thumbsup:. But it'll be 3 weeks til the mother is assessed. It's going to be a long process. So this will be my last post on the subject. :yes:

Thankyou so much to those who understood my situation, I really appreciate it.:hugs: It's been a roller coaster 48 hours!!! :wave:

[Roopee]

Oh the poor little mites!:hugs:

Good for you in putting your hand up for both girls- I hope they can come to you and learn what a loving family can be. I would love if you kept us/me updated? Call me nosey but I would dearly love to know if these little girls get a loving family.:flowerz:

[Mum2Bella]

Well I apologise to anyone I offended in my last posts. It's a very shocking and confusing time, and sometimes you don't realise something you say could offened other people who have been in a similar situation.:footinmouth:

My niece & her sister have been taken into foster care, it happened over night without them informing us.:no: I was not told the circumstances, and if care needs to be an ongoing thing we have put our hands up, not only for my niece but for her sister as well:thumbsup:. But it'll be 3 weeks til the mother is assessed. It's going to be a long process. So this will be my last post on the subject. :yes:

Thankyou so much to those who understood my situation without conviction, I really appreciate it.:hugs: It's been a roller coaster 48 hours!!! :wave:

you didn't offend me so no problems yet.but we have been in the same process n I was told to watch what i said about the case on the net as talking about it on the net could backfire n wreck our case our solicitor told us that.so just letting you know that n be careful.

I'm glad the children have been taken in care it was nice of you to offer to take the sister of your niece also,we were offered the brother of our daughter but the mum said no way she would prefer him to be in foster care,but the other children are still with their mother which is sad.3 weeks is along time to be assessed but saying that the child are safe n i wish you all the best in getting your niece n her sister.

If you ever what to chat about any issues regarding this just PM.
think positive also speak to child protection n ask can you set a a contact visit with your niece they usually have room for these meetings at the child protection center that way you can get to meet your niece n maybe her sister in the 3 weeks that the mother is being assessed