Does your partner help???

[MellyMumma]

Hi

Just wondering how much help other mums get. Does your partner help around the house (cleaning, cooking etc), help with baby/kids (feeding, nappies, baths etc)?? Or does your partner go to work come home and park their butt?? Do they whinge about the condition of the house or do something about it? Are you the lazy so and so when you try to sneek a nap in during the day because you've been up with baby all night or do you get told to go and have a rest??

[eeyorethedonkey21]

hey mel

my hubby is pretty great. he does everything and he works from home. he stays up until 1am pretty much everynight and does the feeds up until then (in fact im supposed to be in bed now) and then i take over when he comes to bed.

i couldnt ask for a better hubby when it comes to looking after my boys. :yes:

[justmum]

My DH rushes in the door at 6.30, throws our DS in the bath and gets him dressed for bed. I hand him the baby who he settles while I put the toddler to bed.

He gets up at night to the toddler and I get up for the baby.

He gets up in the morning with the toddler and gives him brekkie and gets him dressed (if I'm lucky :D) before he goes to work so I can sleep in.

Housework, he will have a bit of a stab at the dishes about 4 nights a week and hangs out a load or 2 of washing a week and maybe a vacuum on the weekend. I do the rest.

I never get told off for the house - I'm here to raise our children, not to wait on him.

[melbryan]

I think My hubby helps more than other hubby's but I do think he can do more. He has a physical job too so is tired. Hopefully getting on a diet soon both of us will pluck up more energy to keep up with the kids.
I had a nap today while a couple were sleeping. I am so tired and am trying to do everything and becauser I am alot more patient than my hubby my kids come straight to me to ask for something as they know I will not yell at them. In saying that my hubby cooks and cares for the kids and knows exactly what to do in that dept not much at cleaning will do dishes and stuff but not bathrooms or vacuuming more looking after the pool, lawns some washing and I fold it all and put it away.
I ask him to do lots because I cannot possibly look after all 4 by myself all the time I have no choice when he is at work and now with the consant finger pricking, snack and meal preparing and insulin injections I seem more busier than ever.
I think learning how hard it is for both working and non working parents makes you appreciate each other and try and help each other out because you're a team.

[MummaFug]

:D My DH ROCKS (most of the time)

He wakes up at 6am with DS - feeds him breakfast, gets him dressed (3 days a week) and gived DD her medicine (needs to be done 30mins before food). I get up at 7.30am with DD after feeding her in bed.

When he gets home he finished up with DS's bath, bed and storytime and puts him to bed.

If we cook, I have everything cut up and ready to go - DH cooks it :yelclap: VERY RARELY do I cook a whole meal alone.

Weekends - Changes nappies, packs bags to go out, naps when they nap.

The house is a pig-sty and he complains every now and then but we have a cleaner (HUGE saviour and worth every penny - saves LOTS of arguements) who does the major stuff.

Saying that - DH would have NO IDEA where the washing machine is :laughing:

[zephani]

hey mel

my hubby is pretty great. he does everything and he works from home. he stays up until 1am pretty much everynight and does the feeds up until then (in fact im supposed to be in bed now) and then i take over when he comes to bed.

i couldnt ask for a better hubby when it comes to looking after my boys. :yes:

My husband is like this as well. He does all the housework. All I do is cook and the occassional load of washing.

I do all the evening feeds but he feeds DD during the day.

In fact he will be looking after DD 3 days a week when I go back to work in August.

[eeyorethedonkey21]

zephani: its going to be very interesting for my dh when i go back to work at the end of this month. he'll be at home trying to work and have the two kiddies to deal with. luckily i'm only out of the house for 2 lots of 2hr blocks a day and ds1 usually sleeps from 1 - 4 in the afternoon.:yes:

[Seacretsquirrel]

My DH is in the Navy so is away a lot (he sailed today for 2 weeks (ish) so I am on my own with both kids for the first time, but when he is home he is great he'll get DD organised for the day bath her etc will change nappies etc with DS I am BF he doesn't have to get up to him at night but will offer moral support and burp him etc if I am getting stressed.
He is pretty great around the house will mop, vacuum, thow a load of washing on and hang it out he does lawns and outside stuff too (but I figure fair is fair as I have do it all when he is away.
I am very glad I have a DH who is a partner in all things house and family.:valentine:

[kar]

Are you having a hard time Melly?

Guess only those of us with helpful DPs want to post! Mine is great with housework and looking after F, but he doesn't cook and doesn't do washing without prompting basically, or he does it but doesn't hang it out which infuriates me:mad: .
We do an 'allowance' system with money so when I figure it is his turn to cook he can choose to get us take away with his money :laughing:

We have a cleaner too and it definitely saves lots and lots of arguments.

He wouldn't dare to say anything to me about the state of the the house, but thing that really gives me the ****s though is when he complains that he is tired... I am fully BFing - he doesn't know what tired is! He is also a very very deep sleeper and doesn't stir when F is unsettled overnight so if I have had enough I have to wake him which usually involves a gentle punch or kick :laughing:

[zephani]

eeyorethedonkey21: I agree it will be very interesting to see how DH goes when I go back to work in August. He will be trying to work and watching our DD, who will be 6 months old at that stage. I am a school teacher. I leave home about 7:45am and get home about 4pm. I'm going back to work three days a week.

[bootiful]

My DH leaves home round 6am and comes home round 7pm. When he gets home he plays with the kids and has dinner, then helps get DD#1 to bed.

He does no housework during the week but on the weekends he might do dishes, hang out a load of clothes or tidy up. He cleans the bathroom 3 times a week (still from when I was pregs and couldn't use the chemicals).

Apart from that I have been TOLD (not by DH) it is my job as a SAHM to keep the house clean and tidy and it is his job to earn the money, so I do the best I can and he never complains about the house being messy.

My DH isn't handy so all the gardening and repairs I do.

[OneCheekyMonkey]

My DP is not fantastic.

He will do what I tell him to do though, without complaints, within reason. He will never think of just doing something though.

So he tends to start work at 5-2, gets home, I pass him the baby for 2-3 hours. He will hang the washing out, bring it in, do dishes, cook. But as I said i have to ask. He is very handy so he does whatever repairs need doing.

He will also take bub for a night on his nights off, he does each feed, burp, settle etc. I just get up to express and go back to sleep. Again he won;'t suggest this, but will do it if I ask.

He is pretty goo actually, I can't really complain.

[tales]

Mine does as much around the house as I do and always has, perhaps being that he lived and provided for himself for a long time. Cooks way better than I do, is way more pedantic about washing and cleaning so I actually prefer when he does it because he does a better job than I do. As for bub - he tries to help. The only thing he can do is try to settle, change and bath her as I am wholly BFing. However, she has taken recently to being increasingly unsettled for him and he is getting very frustrated that he can't settle her (when all I have to do lately is just hold her and she settles almost immediately - being the comfort-boob-mum and all). He tries everything and got really upset last night and this morning thinking that she doesn't want him. Poor poppet. :( I had to try and convince him that she's only three weeks old, only wants cuddles and boobs (and not necessarily in that order), does actually love him and isn't doing it out of spite. He knows this intellectually, but it obviously still hurt. He started to get a bit angry and frustrated last night that he couldn't settle her (and felt like a failure). I told him he's going to have a learn a whole lot more patience with her because sometimes, no matter what you do, they just. won't. settle. So maybe that means you stand there and hold them for hours and hours until they wear themselves out.. *sigh* big learning curves.

[MellyMumma]

Wow there are some helpful hubbies out there!!! :yelclap: good on them!!!

Tales I'm sorry your dh feels that way :(. Hopefully when bub gets a bit older she'll be daddys little girl but I do agree with the boobie theory. I'm fully bf on demand and as far as Matilda is concerned that includes using me as a dummy for comfort etc. so unless dh has a boob for her then theres no chance of him being able to settle her.

Mel I think you're supermummy!!! 4 babies and one with a serious health problem - I don't know how you cope! You're fantastic!! Your kids are so lucky to have someone as special as you to call mummy. :hugs:

Kar I just get really peeved because no matter how hard I try the house is still a mess and I'm still getting told how bad it is. And the more I get whinged at the more I don't want to do it.

Thankyou all for your replies. Its always nice to have an insight into other peoples lives.

[Rabbity Babbity]

We're pretty equal when it comes to house work and baby wrangling- dare I say it, but maybe he sometimes goes beyond me. He is always the one to get up to DD in the night. He knows how much a need my sleep...

DF is a very loving a supportive partner...I am just sooo in love it's almost pathetic ;)

[eeyorethedonkey21]

ok im taking back what i said about my dh. he has absolutely peeved me off tonight. our toilet has blocked up and of course when nature calls u kinda just want to be able to go but nooooo he's getting all sh1tty because i'm making him unblock the pipe outside instead of letting him watch the last 5 minutes of the biggest loser. yeah i'm sure he'd really rather i pee all over the bloody floor.:hair::hissy:

[BoyCrazy]

:wave: mel!

my dp isnt too bad, he has his "moments" though!

he will happily do all the "man's chores" around the house ie mowing, gardening & hoarding of useless junk under the house :rolleyes:

he was made redundant from work in january and has been helping out with vacumming, dishes etc..he does all of bayli's night time routine (bath and bed).

i cook for us and i do the night time wakes (if there are any) for both kids as dp would sleep through a bomb going off beside him (how convienient i say lol)

i must say its been a god send having him home since Jasper was born, dp does keep bayli somewhat entertained during the day while im feeding etc..

are you getting on msn these days? i need to get back on there, we can have a chat and whinge to each other like old times :D

[tales]

eeyore - that happened to me last week. Except our toilet wasn't blocked, the cistern was just leaking a bit. DP took it upon himself to fix it.. two days later, we're still using buckets of water to flush the toilet while he plays computer. Eventually it got fixed. I was this close to calling a plumber... cept it was a weekend.

[LivingINhope]

Wow there are some helpful hubbies out there!!! :yelclap: good on them!!!

Tales I'm sorry your dh feels that way :(. Hopefully when bub gets a bit older she'll be daddys little girl but I do agree with the boobie theory. I'm fully bf on demand and as far as Matilda is concerned that includes using me as a dummy for comfort etc. so unless dh has a boob for her then theres no chance of him being able to settle her.

Mel I think you're supermummy!!! 4 babies and one with a serious health problem - I don't know how you cope! You're fantastic!! Your kids are so lucky to have someone as special as you to call mummy. :hugs:

Kar I just get really peeved because no matter how hard I try the house is still a mess and I'm still getting told how bad it is. And the more I get whinged at the more I don't want to do it.

Thankyou all for your replies. Its always nice to have an insight into other peoples lives.


mellymumma - Well my DH is both a hindrance and a help :o He doesn't do alot of housework infact he walks past stuff on the floor for days and I have to pick it all up. He has chosen to sleep in the spare bedroom so the baby doesn't keep him awake cause he needs sleep:banghead: and always says things like I just got in the door or I need to do stuff for me....he does wash up and stack and unstack the dishwasher, gets up to our toddler in the morning (never overnight...selective hearing), baths our baby and occassionally helps settle him.

Dh doesn't care if the house is a mess but I do, I get sick of spending every waking hour as a slave I only have 2 kids but get nothing done. Maybe our hubbys should move in together until these first few month blow over:laughing:

[MellyMumma]

Maybe our hubbys should move in together until these first few month blow over:laughing:


:eek: Imagine the mess! :laughing:

I think men need disposable houses that way when they're finished with them they can just put them in the bin!

[kazarina]

my partner does the cooking after coming home from work he doesn't whinge about the house but makes crack jokes which are annoying. most of the time he tells me to go to bed when i have been up all night and takes her for the afternoon:) but hes not perfect he comes home from work and (understandably) wants to sit down and do nothing and he works hard so :P can't really blame him

[bada]

cleaning if asked, but still he doesn't clean as much as he makes little piles around the place :rolleyes:

cooking if I whinge a looooot

help with baby/kids
feeding if asked
nappies occasionally (even when not asked:smiliedance:)
baths if asked

Or does your partner go to work come home and park their butt?? Pretty much but he generally parks his butt in the vicinity of DD and plays with her

Do they whinge about the condition Never, ever, ever! It's an unspoken agreement - he does nothing around the house so does not comment on the state of things :)

Are you the lazy so and so when you try to sneek a nap in during the day because you've been up with baby all night or do you get told to go and have a rest?? He tends to take DD so I can have a sleep in on his day off :cloud9:

[eeyorethedonkey21]

:eek: Imagine the mess! :laughing:

I think men need disposable houses that way when they're finished with them they can just put them in the bin!



can us ladies have them too :laughing:

[bada]

I think men need disposable houses that way when they're finished with them they can just put them in the bin!


This is half the reason I loved traveling in our old van so much, it was like having a disposable house - no bathroom or kitchen to clean :yelclap:

[TuesdaysPrincess]

My DH is hopeless. Comes home and plonks his butt in front of the TV or computer. I'm usually feeding Benji or trying to entertain Sebby, and he pretty much ignores it.

He NEVER cooks dinner, cleans up after dinner maybe twice a week (even though our rule is ifyou cook you don't clean ... ha!), doesn't do a load of washing unless I ask him to, won't hang the washing out, doesn't bath Sebby or Benji unless I ask ...

I honestly feel like his mother, making his appointments, etc. Drives me crazy. I had to nag and nag for two years to get him to see the dentist!! When he had big black holes in his teeth and one of his molars broke in half!! Grrrr. What do I pay provate health insurance for!!

Melly, you're not alone!

[kar]

DH is home today. I went to get my haircut, fed F at 8.30 went to hairdresser came home by 11. F is ready for another feed. I ask whether he has been up for the whole time because THE HOUSE IS A PIGSTY and DH is still in dressing gown. No, he slept for an hour. WTF have you been doing??? I feed F for another hour. I then clean the house as DH has again done NOTHING and it is now his cuddle time with F.

F has not slept during the day since Sunday and yet I have still managed some semblance of order. Although largely because I have been holding a baby for 3 days so no time to do crazy things like go to the toilet and have a cup of tea or make a mess.

SO, I take back my previous positive comments about DH. He is good on baby care only.

I have come to realise that things get in more of a mess on the days he is home because he leaves **** everywhere and uses about 10 mugs a day - ther is no rinsing and reusing. Just leaving half full whereever it lands. We have a tiny house. This is not OK.

Whoa, big rant. Think I better say some of this to him as I am obviously MAD.

[LivingINhope]

:laughing: Luv it! of course disposable houses would solve our problems also at least they would always be new :laughing:

[Beeza8906]

My DP trys to help but im to fussy and everything has to be the way i do it or i whinge and carry on.. so he has now decided that its safer to sit on the lounge or go outside and leave me to it. He helps with DD,his great with her he will do everything except change pooey nappies.. but i dont ask to much of him he works all day and then comes home to do some more work round the house and to my whinging.. :laughing::laughing:

[A'sMummy]

My DH doesn't help out very much :o
We have been together for 10 years, married for 3. He has never cooked, never done dishes, never put washing on or hung it out. He leaves his clothes where he takes them off and leaves drinking glasses, plates and food wrappers where ever they land haha. He will even ask me to get him drinks, food, icecream etc whilst I am changing nappies or doing dishes etc while he is sitting there doing nothing watching TV.
Now for the good bits :p, he has in the past 6 months done the vaccuming each weekend. He also potters about outside around the garden and will fix things when they are broken.
He also does the odd nappy change, will keep DD entertained while I cook dinner (mostly with a dummy haha), and he helps with the bath and PJ's.
I think he is a "typical" male :rolleyes:
No matter how many times I get up to DD during the night, I always get out of bed to make his lunch to take to work every morning and give him a kiss goodbye at the front door. I also have his work clothes layed out for him every morning on his bedside table.... Man after writing this I have just realised how good he has it!! And although I am currently a SAHM (for 4 months), I am back at work full-time again in June and I will still be doing everything... argh not sure how I will cope!!

[kar]

DH must have sensed my fury - he got home from taking F and dog for a walk, did the non-dishwasher dishes, wiped down the benches, collected mugs put in dishwahser and put it on and took the washing to our friend's place around the corner to put in their dryer all without me saying anything.

He is good DH again.

Holy crap C&C - want to come to my house and look after us?? :laughing: