Discipline

[mum2bubba]

Do you and your partner see eye to eye or not?

All Grant seems to do when the kids are playing up is put them in time out (mainly Skye) or tell them to go outside or "go and watch tv" or "go and play in the room" I've tried telling him that maybe they misbehave because they want attention or they're bored (like if Skye goes into the kitchen and opens and clothes all the cupboards and turns on the oven). I've said to him that he needs to find something for her to do or maybe spend some time with her but he thinks that rewarding her for being naughty (I don't think thats naughty though, just being curious though of course if its something dangerous like turning on the oven I'll move her away and distract her). The other day I was in the kitchen doing the dishes, Skye kept turning the oven on. I told her no, moved her away but she kept doing it. Grant just says to her (sort of yells at her) "go and watch tv" I told him she is isn't even 2 yet, you can't make her watch tv all day" (she'd already been sitting there for 10 minutes before hand and she got bored of it) so then instead of finding something else for her to do like getting some toys out or whatever he puts her in time-out.

Maybe I am too soft but I just don't think putting kids in time-out every time they're naughty or whatever is the best thing. Also with dinner I don't mind if the kid don't finish but he says I'm letting them get away with things. I told him if he wants to sit there with them for hours on end until they finish their dinner then be my guest but he didn't say anything to that.

He said to me the other day that he feels as though he can't parent and doesn't get a say because everytime he opens his mouth he gets told off by me. And it made me wonder, maybe I am a control freak and maybe I need to let him discipline the kids how he wants sometimes to give me a break. Even though it might not be the way I want it to be done. Lately I am yelling at my kids alot and so stressed so maybe if I just let Grant discipline them (and me not say anything) it might make me less stressed. I don't know.

Anyway, so do you and your partner share discipline views? How do you agree on things? I'm not saying Grant and I disagree on everything but alot of things.

Most of the time he'll just yell at the kids from the couch and won't even get up and spend time with them. Even if I am busy myself.

[workin'mumof2]

no we dont agree.. we never do.:o

but in saying that.. we respect what we both do.

i will only smack (on the cloth bottom) in extream circumstances.. and that hasnt happened in a long time.. but i do raise my voice.. not yell..

my dh has never ever hit them.. and when he tries to tell them off they laugh at him:laughing:

when i tell them off its serious. so at least they listen to me..

hope this helps.

but my husband knows hes to gentle but wont change.

with eating im lenient. i dont worry if they dont finish i let my children graze though.. as long as there WHOLE diet is good it doesnt matter.

if he is willing to take over for a day i say let him.. if it gives you a break.. i would jump at that. but i cant get a break at the moment due to breastfeeding..
:hugs:

[cmfbaker]

It does sound like your kids need attention. Fortunately, at that age they're not too fussed what you do, as long as you do it together. maybe Grant could take her grocery shopping, or get her to help out it the garden. (like, get a plastic rake or put leaves in a bucket) It's obviously limited how big a help she can actually be, but as long as she feels important, I think it'll make a difference.
My husband and I have sometimes watched shows like Nanny 911 or Supernanny together. They're great shows, because you think "I might not be a great parent, but at least our family is less screwed up than theirs!". Also, you do get some ideas, and don't have to follow everything they say and you can talk about similar situations in your family.

[mum2bubba]

Grant and Hayley have been doing the gardening these last few days and today I took Skye for a walk to the shops cos I had to go to the chemist, its a 20 minute walk (so all up was gone just under an hour) Hayley stayed home and her and Grant played Memory together. He tends to spend more time with Hayley, maybe because shes older and more easier to deal with. I don't know.