KateyG
08-04-2009, 08:11
Thanks to Chunkydunks I have decided to write my DP a letter. After talking and fighting and nothing changing I was at the point where I thought my best option was to save my pennies and leave but maybe there is a chance at salvation. There is noone in my real life that I cant share this with so I am hoping that anyone on here may be able to give me objective and constuctive critism... This is what I have written...
Dear Josh,
I am putting this in a letter because every time I try to tell you how I feel it doesn’t come out right… Every time I try to express myself it sounds like I am attacking you and that is not what I want. I love you with all my heart but for a while now it has been breaking. I really need to you to read this and try to take it in because I can’t keep going on if things don’t change.
I feel like I am in this relationship on my own. I need your help… I know I just crack sometimes and it seems like I explode for no reason but this really is how I feel all of the time. Every day I struggle quietly with doing everything on my own its only when there is added stress or not enough sleep that it boils over and I crack. I don’t mean to explode on you I just really need your help. I know you are tired after a day at work but so am I. You say that I don’t do what you do but that goes both ways. I am tired Josh and feel that you do not value me at all. I want to look after the kids and I want to look after you but I need to be looked after too.
I really do appreciate everything you do and I am sorry if I don’t always show it. I love that you keep our lawns lovely and go to work every day without complaining that you’re funny and a fantastic father that you’re witty and stupid at the same time it’s why I fell in love with you to begin with but I am just so lonely. I feel like somewhere along the way I lost my friend and my partner even more so I lost myself which is probably my own fault.
Josh, I need your support. I need what matters to me to matter to you even if it is only because it is important to me. I understand that you’re uncomfortable around my family but look within yourself and tell me why… My family is important to me; they are where I have come from and a part of who I am. If you relaxed a little around them I know you could have a good time. They have no expectations of you only that you treat me and the kid’s well, that you support us in what we do and love us unconditionally.
On the weekend Josh I threw my charity night. Just about everyone that matters to me was there, everyone except you. I worked so hard on that night it meant so much to me and at the end of the night when everyone was telling me how proud they were of me you weren’t there to share it. Do you know what I did most of the night after it was finished? I cried… I know you had to work the next day but you could have come for a little while. You should have been there because it was important to me.
For so long now I have gone on pretending like it didn’t matter. I can’t do it anymore I need you to help me out, I need you to listen to what I say and I need you to care about my feelings. If not, I need to move on. It breaks my heart but I just can’t keep pretending. I can’t keep making excuses to my family and friends as to why you aren’t there and I am sorry but ‘he isn’t here because he doesn’t want to be’ doesn't cut it, it’s not enough you should be there because it’s important to me and I want you to be there. I feel like I’m living most of my life as a single parent and I just can’t keep doing it. This is my way of getting everything out in the open, I hope we can talk about it rationally and work through these things I know you have things you want to change as well I know I am not perfect and I want to work on it now so we don’t end up hating each other.
I love you Josh and I want to fix things before they can’t be saved.
Kate
Please tell me what you think. I need any help I can get I am at the end of my tether and dont know where to turn.
Thanks Kxox
Dear Josh,
I am putting this in a letter because every time I try to tell you how I feel it doesn’t come out right… Every time I try to express myself it sounds like I am attacking you and that is not what I want. I love you with all my heart but for a while now it has been breaking. I really need to you to read this and try to take it in because I can’t keep going on if things don’t change.
I feel like I am in this relationship on my own. I need your help… I know I just crack sometimes and it seems like I explode for no reason but this really is how I feel all of the time. Every day I struggle quietly with doing everything on my own its only when there is added stress or not enough sleep that it boils over and I crack. I don’t mean to explode on you I just really need your help. I know you are tired after a day at work but so am I. You say that I don’t do what you do but that goes both ways. I am tired Josh and feel that you do not value me at all. I want to look after the kids and I want to look after you but I need to be looked after too.
I really do appreciate everything you do and I am sorry if I don’t always show it. I love that you keep our lawns lovely and go to work every day without complaining that you’re funny and a fantastic father that you’re witty and stupid at the same time it’s why I fell in love with you to begin with but I am just so lonely. I feel like somewhere along the way I lost my friend and my partner even more so I lost myself which is probably my own fault.
Josh, I need your support. I need what matters to me to matter to you even if it is only because it is important to me. I understand that you’re uncomfortable around my family but look within yourself and tell me why… My family is important to me; they are where I have come from and a part of who I am. If you relaxed a little around them I know you could have a good time. They have no expectations of you only that you treat me and the kid’s well, that you support us in what we do and love us unconditionally.
On the weekend Josh I threw my charity night. Just about everyone that matters to me was there, everyone except you. I worked so hard on that night it meant so much to me and at the end of the night when everyone was telling me how proud they were of me you weren’t there to share it. Do you know what I did most of the night after it was finished? I cried… I know you had to work the next day but you could have come for a little while. You should have been there because it was important to me.
For so long now I have gone on pretending like it didn’t matter. I can’t do it anymore I need you to help me out, I need you to listen to what I say and I need you to care about my feelings. If not, I need to move on. It breaks my heart but I just can’t keep pretending. I can’t keep making excuses to my family and friends as to why you aren’t there and I am sorry but ‘he isn’t here because he doesn’t want to be’ doesn't cut it, it’s not enough you should be there because it’s important to me and I want you to be there. I feel like I’m living most of my life as a single parent and I just can’t keep doing it. This is my way of getting everything out in the open, I hope we can talk about it rationally and work through these things I know you have things you want to change as well I know I am not perfect and I want to work on it now so we don’t end up hating each other.
I love you Josh and I want to fix things before they can’t be saved.
Kate
Please tell me what you think. I need any help I can get I am at the end of my tether and dont know where to turn.
Thanks Kxox