View Full Version : How can I help?
I am coming from NZ to BNE next week to stay with my sister for only 5 days. She has NB twins and is really struggling (along with her hubby). She is fairly young and is struggling with the whole routine sleep thing.
She has no family around her and I am just wondering what the best things I can do to help. I am a mum so have a little idea but not of multiples. Any ideas please?
Is she bfing or bottle? If she is bottle feeding you may be able to do some of the night feeds to give them a night off. If she is bfing she may be able to express so you can still help out overnight.
Otherwise - Housework, housework and more housework....I had my mum with me for 6 weeks when we had the girls as DF could only have 1 week off work and I had had a c/sec. She used to come round and let herself in if the girls and I were still sleeping and do the dishes and sweep etc until we woke up. Having her there meant I could have a morning shower - it's only a small thing but means so much.
Also maybe try cooking up some meals that can be frozen and then re-heated as they want them, will certainly take some pressure off in the early days.
Has she contacted her local AMBA branch, they may also be able to help. Routine is a hard thing to get and if her twins are anything like our girls were they were on completely different routines - in our house it was more a case of "routine, what routine?" The biggest thing I guess is being able to accept that you can only do what you can do and if your house is a mess, so what...nobody in their right mind would dare comment otherwise to a mother with newborn twins. Helping her get to that point/understanding would also go a long way!
I agree with Leanne.
I would never have gotten through the first 3 months, and even up to now where my boys are nearly 6 months- without the help of my Mum.
Even if she is breastfeeding, you can be the one who gets up in the middle of the night to a crying baby. My boy's were terrible sleepers for at least the first two months, I think nearly 3. I spent nearly all those nights with one or both boys on the recliner with the tv on down low. But my Mum used to come and stay 4/5 nights a week so I could sleep in my own bed, and she would get up to the boys, and take them into her bed with her (I could never do that; it would jeopardise DP's sleep and he drives heavy machinery all day) and only wake me for feeds.
Then she would get up and spend the next day cleaning my house- doing my washing and just organising everything I couldn't in my sleep deprived haze.
She cooked many meals which then went into the freezer, and by golly were they appreciated when I had days where I didn't even get around to thinking about the evening meal until the boys were in bed, sometimes at 9-10pm.
And you know what I also valued soooo much? Although they were my (and still are!) baby boys and I love them with all my heart, I barely get the chance to sit around sans baby like mum's of singletons do. I nearly always had (and still have!) a baby in my arms. Most of the time two. I just appreciate someone walking in the door, and saying "here, give him here- I will burp/entertain/hold/cuddle/settle him" etc :)
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