what do you think about the dummy?

[juju]

Hi everyone

In the last week I have been really struggling to get mt 3.5 mth old boy to sleep during the day. He just won't settle and seems to be either feeding/catnapping or screaming or at best grizzly. This is making us both miserable. I have given up on even trying to get him to sleep in his cot and just have him sleep on my lap. The problem is not getting him off to sleep, but getting him to stay asleep. I just don't know what to do b/c it is taking away any enjoyment I have from him. The only thing that works is a dummy and I would prefer this to having him scream relentlessly but wanted to know if you have any tips/advice? Maybe I should be posting in the wind/colic section..?

[jamb]

My bub was given a dummy when he was two days old while in hospital- he would not stop crying, was not hungry and just wanted to suck. I was totally against dummies but boy do things change. He's now 4.5 months old and uses it less and less, but at first it was like when you put it in his mouth he would TOTALLY relax and be calm.

I say do what works. Everyone said to me - you'll never get it off him, but like i said he doesn't want it half as much as he did 2 months ago, its like he is self weaning himself off it.

My bub also only sleeps 20minutes twice a day, but luckily is pretty good at nights. Somedays the only place I can get him to sleep is in my arms, again I used to be against this until i started reading bubhub. Now I cherish these times, he won't always want to sleep in mums arms, so I either just look at him or read! Its our special time.

I read a beauty today in one of the other threads- Don't miss the sleep train. I couldnt agree more. Once I learnt his tired signs I get straight onto sleep, if I miss it, he gets overtired and its all down hill from there :p

Do what works for you, tell everyone else to butt out!! Lifes easier when you and bubs are a team. Good luck.

[moomoz]

Hi there,
Don't worry, you are not alone. I had the same problem with my son but he went through this stage when he was 1-2mths old. I couldn't get him to sleep much at all during the day, let alone get him to go to sleep. He would get really grizzly then fall asleep on my lap but as soon as I tried to move him or put him down in his cot, he would wake again! This went on for weeks. Then when I finally got him to stay asleep, he would only sleep for about 30 minutes! It took alot of rocking, soothing and soft music plus the use of the dummy! Most times I would just leave him on my lap or in his rocker just so I could get some peace.

I worked out later that the only way I could get him to stay asleep was to make sure he was wrapped up so his arms/hands wouldn't wake him up when he moved them. I also tried really hard to get him into a sleep routine which helped too. Oh, and making sure he had a really good burp during/after feeds was important too.

I have been using a dummy since he was born and I personally don't know how I would live without it! I was so adimit that I wasn't going to use one but it has saved me from going nuts on those really hard days :eek: !

My boy is now 4 mths old and is sleeping alot better during the day - he still only sleeps up to 1 hr per sleeptime, but he has around 3-4 naps a day and he sleeps well at night, so I guess it is something they go through.

Good luck and trust me it will get better :) !
Moomoz
mum of Ryan 13.03.05

[Chickadee]

I also relied on a dummy. Some times I regretted it, like when I had to get up in the middle of the night just to replace it! But generally it's worked for us.

DD is now 19 months, and although she still sleeps with it and sometimes wants it for comfort in the day, she'll also put it "away" in her cot when asked to and then ignores it. I'm reassured by friends that eventually most babies get rid of the dummy on their own at some stage. Or if not, it just becomes permanently "lost" and forgotten.

[madvoice]

If it works for you then go for it. I tried to use a dummy for settling my daughter within days of her birth but she rejected it. She still rejects it at 3 1/2 months. I guess it works for some and not others. Some days I wish she would take it but oh well.

[ladybug]

After my DD was born, I wasn't planning to give her a dummy. I had to, however. Because I had very bad crakced nipples, and she wanted to nurse all the time, although she wasn't hungry. It helped me a lot, and now it helps my DD to settle quickly.

I suggest you to give him a dummy.

Cheers
May

[pinkandblue]

My daughter didnt want the dummy when she was first born. She started taking it when she was about 3 months and it used to settle her straight away. She had it until she was just on 2 years old and we got rid of it with no problems.

I would say if it works for you, then use it.

[flower]

I too was TOTALLY against the dummy but after 2 weeks Orly decided he was alive and screamed his head off. My mother snuck a dummy in his mouth while I was out and instant shoosh. When I came home I was so irate as we had a no dummy policy. Then when I was all by myself...and the screamng began...out came that dummy...and instant peace followed. Now he only has it in his cot as a bit of a novelty/ settler...its his choice to pop it in ( 6months old) or play with it. I dont use it outside of the home. The other thing was I travelled overseas after he was three weeks old and I needed to feel I could control his screamng if he chose to do so. I'm sure one on the plane thanked God that my child had a dummy...and that it corked him when he needed to be corked.

[our little treasures]

I was dead set against the dummy but when dd was 4 weeks old she wouldn't stop screaming I had no milk left and didn't know what to do. My mum was there visiting and she had five of us and never used a dummy but she got one and told me to use it, bubby wouldn't take it so I gave up then my mum got some jam and put it on the dummy and she took it straight away.

I know shock horror I gave her sweets on it but it worked for us. I did tell my gp and he actually suggested all sorts of things and told me whatever gets you through. Needless to say she didn't need jam on it after that but at 17mnths old we have never had to put it back in her mouth at night and she puts it to bed when she gets up in the morning.

I know everyone says they will never get off the dummy but I don't know one older child, teenager or adult with a dummy!!!!
Do what works it makes everyone happy!! :cool:

[pregasaurus]

A dummy has been our lifesaver. Both of my kids have had a very strong suck reflex, meaning they had to have something in their mouths all the time. There's only so many hours a day I can sit in a chair with a baby superglued to my breast, just to vomit it all back up again because their tummy's over full, so, it was a dummy! I preferred a dummy to their thumb, as at least I could easily wean them off a dummy. I figured I'd never seen a 10 year old with a dummy, but I had a friend who was still secretly sucking her thumb at that age. Guilt free dummy use I say!

[Ana Gram]

I am a big supporter of the dummy, unfortunately my daughter would not have a bar of it! She opted for her thumb right from the start.
But I think if it helps them settle and relax, it helps you settle and relax and makes for a much calmer atmosphere all round.

[AlisMum]

my dh was dead set against using dummies until i somehow convinced him that we could control the use of it (who am i trying to kid here? DD has total control of it!) :) Luckily for me, she spits it out once shes alseep & stays asleep.

But it worked - happy bub equals happy mum. Do whatever works for you & lets face it, theres no harm in trying. :D

Best of luck

Kate 26yrs
Wayne 27yrs
Alisha Sara 9mths

[mrsm2u]

I followed a book with my DD & it said that very little babies love to suck so giving them a dummy is fine - but that they loose this reflex @ about 12 weeks & will start to spit the dummy out at this time. If you miss it you may shove the dummy back in & create an uneccessary habit. Our baby was a textbook case so she had 12 weeks of contented sucking and she seemed to be over it just like the book said. So I wouldn't go for the dummy this late. Your baby will let you know what it wants. You can try putting a dummy in & see if frantic sucking follows. However, it's more likely at this age to be colic related. And that's a whole different thing. There doesn't appear to be an answer to this. You just try something new every day until one day they've grown out of it. If it's any consolation, this was the most trying time for me & it's been downhill ever since.

Good luck with it.

[Kerry35]

My DS4 had the dummy from the day one, but he weaned himself off it last year by giving his dummy to Santa at xmas time and we havent looked back. I was worried b/c he LOVED his dummy, but DS was happy to give it up. It was our lifesaver, he never settled well and the dummy did the trick! :D

Give your bubs the opportunity to have a dummy if that is what it takes to keep bubs happy and well rested. It also means that you will be happier as well.

Its a win/win situation. :)

Mum to DS4 & DD4 mths :cool: