Help please - have you been thru this??

[canon]

Help please - I just turned 45 & am going nuts.I met a guy, fell pregnant at 42, got married & we have a gorgeous daughter. Wasnt ttc, but again found i was pregnant a year ago. But at first scan, we found out the baby had anencephaly - the skull & brain basically hadnt formed & it also had stomach problems. The anencephaly is fatal & the baby wouldnt have lived more than a few days if I had gone full term. So the decision to terminate wasnt hard really, but still very painful emotionally. Anyway, aside from that, after the D&C (at 12 weeks), I never had a 'normal' period. Theyve been much shorter in length and the last few months only 3 weeks apart. I skipped last month completely, but then I started this mucusy brown discharge last week. the hpt says Im not preg & I went to the doctor yesterday. Am waiting on bloods & will have an ultrasound in 2 weeks to see if any tissue was left after D&C. GP is convinced Im perimenopausal - I have had many symptoms except hot flashes. Nausea, white discharge (not thrush) tiredness..Its all doing my head in & I was wondering if anyone else has had similar experience - is it a co-incidence that menopause kicks in straight after D&C? I just find it weirs that Ive fallen preg twice when we were using condoms & then I have D&C & straight into menopause..

[SuperGranny]

hello, I think every woman is different. There is blood tests to see if you are still ovulating, and the doctor would be able to check all of the workings. 45 to 55 is about the age for menopause, could be just co-incidence if you do begin menopause just after the D&C . Marie.

[Tabby]

Ive been told Im perimenopause at 45, it came to a shock to me how quick too as dd is only 2 years old.
When I think back about it my periods never did return properly after dd so I would say mine started then too, right after her birth!


also very annoying how symptoms can be like pregnancy, late or no period, nausea, tiredness, sore breasts. Many a time I thought I was pregnant as we were/are TTC to only be let down again and again.

As prev posts says though, everyone is different and I would wait on your blood results and the ultrasound before stressing out. The blood results will tell him how high your FSH is in regards to menopause.
Good luck and hope its all okay

[Amara]

It's quite common to have a pregnancy just before menopause.... used to be called a "change of life baby". I think it's because some women are more fertile just before they head into menopause - just like it's more common to have twins if you get pregnant at a later age.

[canon]

Thanks for your messages. Just got off the phone to medical centre & couldnt even get to talk to the gp. His message was that im post menopausal and if I havn't stopped periods I will. I've skipped one period. Doesnt post meno mean I wouldve had to have been thru it already?I feel so naive & frustrated. Thanks for mentioning the FSH - at least I quizzed the receptionist on that one - its 54. So I guess its true, but I feel upset that that whole phase of my life is over just when I would like tc again, and doubly upset with dealing with a gp whose first words were that im 45 & its menopause & you wouldnt want to be dealing with nappies at your age anyway. I tried to push to find out whether it could be something else - could there be other reasons for high fsh? From the little Ive read it mentioned testing it twice a month apart. I do still have the ultrasound in a week or so. I just feel wierd about it all. Maybe I am probably in denial, but on the other hand should I just leave it at that? sorry to go on & on. im just recovering from dealing with attila the receptionist & upset we dont have many gps to choose from.And now I can blame all my bad moods on hormones!! And Im off to clean the carpet of the paint my 2 yo dd just decorated the carpet with.

[Tabby]

Yes Canon, Only correct FSH levels can be seen by bloods taken several times over your cycle, So dont give up yet
We originally thought mine were high but the FS had me take clomid, it started a period and then we did bloods cd3 and 21 which showed FSH much lower than thought! Down from the original one bloods test of 24 to now being 12 and I ovulated! My FS was very encouraging and says I can do it! He expects the FSH to be even lower this cycles bloods

Dont give up hope yet hun, Can you find a more sympathetic gp? Or better still a fertility specialist?


Peri-menopause can take many years to go through before hitting menopause. Full menopause is hit when no period for a full 12 months.


If you dont wish to "leave it at that" then dont hun! Find your self a good gp/fs and get those bloods taken correctly, then move on from there :thumbsup:

Good luck and hope you get your dream

[Amara]

A discussion on menopause came up at work today. One lady started perimenopause at 40 & having just turned 43 is now considered menopausal as she's just had the 12 months free of AF. She started with irregular cycles and later on the hot flushes started to hit her. She was very shocked to have it happen so young (compared to most ladies).

[c38]

:hugs:So sorry your GP is being so insensitive. Like Tabby suggested, go see a different GP and get a referral to a FS.:hugs:

[canon]

Thanks for your answers - its great to have someone to talk to - cant talk to family & dh tries to understand but just doesnt get it & hates to see me emotional. I have made an appt with a woman gp & am thinking of going to my ob/gyn after ultrasound. I am 2 hours from a city so no FS around here. Do you think it'll involve many visits or can alot of test & ongoing stuff be done locally after initial consults? Im also worried if i did go down FS path that I may have another birth defect problem.Are my eggs past it now that I am?

[jackdemps]

Hi Canon,
I haven't had all the symptoms you have, but some of them could be caused by your stress, emotions and depression. I had a male doc like yours with attitude, so I wont see him anymore. Why do they give opinions when we dont ask for them?
Hope you feel better soon.:sunshine:
Take care,
Jen.