lil miss
31-03-2009, 22:59
i need a father's persepctive on the following... im at a loss as to what i should do next....
DD's dad and i split last year (left me for his ex). We had agreed that he would take her every 2nd weekend and see her when ever he was in town (he lives an hour and a half away). I phone him every couple of days (or at least try to), so he can talk to dd. When we first started the arrangement, he stuffed me around so much, saying he wouldnt bring dd back and that i would have to go get her (him knowing full well i had no transport). Anyways, he started to settle down a bit (i think cuz i was giving in to him all the time and he was getting his own way). But in the last mont, he has started messing me around again saying he isnt taking dd when he's meant to have her etc.
Then, the other day, i made a comment to a friend about his mrs, not realising that it was public :no:. She read it and hit the roof (had had every right to). Then she she asked why i would say it and i told her cuz its the truth. I told her that him and i were together (and i was preg with #2) when he started dating her (he'd told her he wasnt and the baby wasnt his), and that it wasnt the 1st time he'd done it (a couple of weeks b4 that his 'other woman' rang and asked who i was... she had no idea i was his fiance!). I told her that everytime they fight, he rings me telling me he wants me back etc (which i fell for at first). She was annoyed i hadnt told her sooner (i thought she knew).
Anywho, about the time i told ex dp that he had to choose between me and her was the time he started messing me around (wasnt getting his own way, see). After she had confronted him about it, i copped an abusive msg from saying i slept around when i was with him (not true- i never even went out!!), and allthis stuff- basically he's been dragging my name thru the mud. Then, i get an abusive phone call from him (at which point i hung up).
I have told him that i am happy for him to see dd whenever he wants, and often ask if he would like to see her on weekends/holidays that he's not meant to have her. He always says no. Then last week he told me he wants 50-50 custody of her. I told him not while he lives an hour and a half away, cuz it would be too much for dd to cope with (especially seen as tho shes in daycare etc). I told him if he lived closer i wouldnt have a problem with it tho. I want them to have a good relationship (even tho he's a prick to me and was abusive to me, he's a good dad to her). He doesnt even have her when he's supposed to now, and thats only 2 weeks a fortnight.. how is he meant to cope with a whole week?!
The after all the crap with his mrs, he txts me saying he's sick of being civil, and he's spoken to father's australia and is taking me to court to get 50-50 custody. I have spent the last 2 days crying cuz im so scared of how much its going to mess dd up :crying:...
i have no idea what to do! He refused mediation (i have a certificate from legal aid saying i attempted it but he didnt show up)... i dont know where to go next... can someone help??
DD's dad and i split last year (left me for his ex). We had agreed that he would take her every 2nd weekend and see her when ever he was in town (he lives an hour and a half away). I phone him every couple of days (or at least try to), so he can talk to dd. When we first started the arrangement, he stuffed me around so much, saying he wouldnt bring dd back and that i would have to go get her (him knowing full well i had no transport). Anyways, he started to settle down a bit (i think cuz i was giving in to him all the time and he was getting his own way). But in the last mont, he has started messing me around again saying he isnt taking dd when he's meant to have her etc.
Then, the other day, i made a comment to a friend about his mrs, not realising that it was public :no:. She read it and hit the roof (had had every right to). Then she she asked why i would say it and i told her cuz its the truth. I told her that him and i were together (and i was preg with #2) when he started dating her (he'd told her he wasnt and the baby wasnt his), and that it wasnt the 1st time he'd done it (a couple of weeks b4 that his 'other woman' rang and asked who i was... she had no idea i was his fiance!). I told her that everytime they fight, he rings me telling me he wants me back etc (which i fell for at first). She was annoyed i hadnt told her sooner (i thought she knew).
Anywho, about the time i told ex dp that he had to choose between me and her was the time he started messing me around (wasnt getting his own way, see). After she had confronted him about it, i copped an abusive msg from saying i slept around when i was with him (not true- i never even went out!!), and allthis stuff- basically he's been dragging my name thru the mud. Then, i get an abusive phone call from him (at which point i hung up).
I have told him that i am happy for him to see dd whenever he wants, and often ask if he would like to see her on weekends/holidays that he's not meant to have her. He always says no. Then last week he told me he wants 50-50 custody of her. I told him not while he lives an hour and a half away, cuz it would be too much for dd to cope with (especially seen as tho shes in daycare etc). I told him if he lived closer i wouldnt have a problem with it tho. I want them to have a good relationship (even tho he's a prick to me and was abusive to me, he's a good dad to her). He doesnt even have her when he's supposed to now, and thats only 2 weeks a fortnight.. how is he meant to cope with a whole week?!
The after all the crap with his mrs, he txts me saying he's sick of being civil, and he's spoken to father's australia and is taking me to court to get 50-50 custody. I have spent the last 2 days crying cuz im so scared of how much its going to mess dd up :crying:...
i have no idea what to do! He refused mediation (i have a certificate from legal aid saying i attempted it but he didnt show up)... i dont know where to go next... can someone help??