A and B Chatter

[Booo]

This is a place for Body Image Issues and Eating Disorders to be spoken about, to know your not alone....

Im Bean and as selfish as I sound I really want someone who is going through what I am to talk to...

[studyingECS]

:hugs::hugs:

I will join in if that's okay?

Having a few issues myself at the moment.

Hope you are okay.:hugs:

[Booo]

Yeh just need to actually control something in my life, sadly its usually my weight. So feeling fat and icky. Wishing I was someone else.

[studyingECS]

I can empathise.:hugs:

PM me if you want to chat:hugs:.

[Booo]

Ive been doing the whole binge and purge for so long my body doesnt even wanna think about food.... Its gotten that bad that my gag reflex just naturally kicks in a few mins after I eat....

[Luna Lovegood]

:hugs:

Don't feel so guilty honey.

Just because you feel this way doesn;t mean you have done something wrong, or that you deserve to fel like this.

Sometimes the hardest thing is facing the issue at hand, and you're doing that which is wonderful.

I used to feel like you did, and sadly sometimes I think I am becoming obsessed again. Over the weekend and today I have done so much exercise that tonight I can barey walk. All I want to eat is soup. I'm worried I am going to look like a fat pig in my wedding dress. :ecomcity:

There is so much pressure though. When I go through the wedding grown galleries on the net, the models are so perfect, and skinny, and I just don;t think I can be that.

After having a baby I have always thought that DF would leave me, because my body isn;t as tight as it used to be...:hugs:

[confusd]

im supposed to be on a diet atm. but i eat to much even when i try not to i cant help myself.

Lately it has gotten to the point were i can only eat half of my food cause i feel fat and horrible. then i feel nauseous
if i eat take out like maccas etc i feel like vomiting even before ive eaten it.

then later on ill be starving and eat everything i can get my hands on.
Before i had DD i was skinny was always skinny no matter what i ate.and i felt fat.
after having DD i had put on like nearly 30 kilos and still have all of it but about 3 kilos:(

i dont think i can help much, i mean i cant even help myself atm, but i though id share so you dont feel alone

[earthfairy]

Hi Girls,

For so long i have suffered with extremely low self esteem, ive hated the way i have looked ever since having a relationship with a man (if you could call him that) who used to hit me & tell me how hideous i was.

I have suffered from depression, anxiety on top of bullemia.

I no longer have the bullemia but the low self esteem has never gone away.

I have size DD boobs - i hate them
I have fat wobbly arms & refuse to wear singlet tops - i hate them too
I have stretch marks & cellulite - i hate it all
I have a muffin top - i also hate that
I have a fat face - its gross.

Then, on friday i got some news that rocked my world. My cervical cancer has returned.

Im 28 this year & to get this news is devistating.

Really makes me put things into perspective. Seriously, who cares if i have a bit of a muffin top?

Id have 500 muffin tops if it meant i was guaranteed to live to see my 12 week old daughter grow up...

Im not posting this for sympathy or to make you feel bad....just my rambelings i guess.

WHy is it as women we always put ourselves down? My best friend thinks i have a seriously distorted view of myself, i cant help it.

Why cant we all see how truly beautiful we are, inside & out....

Im giving each & everyone of you a HUGE cuddle:hugs::hugs:

EF x

[Luna Lovegood]

Earth Fairy: :hugs::hugs:

[Booo]

Earth Fairy Big :hugs: Not sure why we do what we do.

[Booo]

So how is everyone doing today? Im trying to force down a cup of tea, thinking of wedges with sweet chilli sauce and sour cream..... hmmmm.....

[Luna Lovegood]

I have has 2 cups of lemon and ginger tea- good for bloating. Wedges sound good...warm...it's really cold in my office....

[Booo]

I love winter. Best time for eating and being able to cover myself up with big fluffy jumpers.

[Luna Lovegood]

Winter is lovely, but my biggest issue for winter is that there is no escape. I work in a hospital and it always feels cold here...

[Booo]

O okay, what do you do as occupation? Im hoping to be a fully fledged Doula by the end of the year!

[Luna Lovegood]

I work doing Projects and Business Analysis in IT for QLD Health...is slightly dull most of the itme, but has it's moments were it is very enjoyable, and makes it worth it.

Being a doula would be interesting- my stomache is way too weak for me to choose an occupation such as that.

[Booo]

That a seriosuly smart job you got there! You must be very intelligent, I ddnt understand half of what that job entails :P. But then again im a little blonde!

Im fully in love witht the miracle of pregnancy and childbirth I wanna make the joy of it more comfortable for the lovely mummy! Kinda sucks though, I have a body issue but love the perfect roundness of a baby growing, kinda ironic the way that works haha. I never let my body issue get in the way of my work but Im afraid I wont get work because some bubhubbers would be a little aprehensive about a Doula with an issue... what do you think My little Belle?

[Luna Lovegood]

I think i only go tthis job because of who I know, not what I know. ;)


Pregnant belly's are very beautiful. The roundness, and the new life within them. I don;t think you body issues would overly affect you job. You sound so passionate about becoming a doula!

Everybody in every job had issues, but that doesn;t mean they're not good at their job.

If you think that you body image issues would interupt your work, then maybe see a GP about it.

Have you seen a GP about how you feel?

[Booo]

Been there done that, Its not the first time, I've been anorexic and bulimic a few times in my life. I dont think it'll affect my work, I just hate the idea of having so much self control over the whole world but feeling vunerable if someone knows my secret.... So do you have as an issue darl?

[Luna Lovegood]

I personally find seeing dr's isn't always constructive. I am seeing a dr at the moment for a variety of emotional issues, and she is so perscribtion happy that I think it is more destructive than contructive.

I feel nervous about talking on here, because one of my RL friends is on here, and I have a fear of being judged. It is frustrating. It is also hard to share with people, because all to often people say, "why don't you just eat? It's not hard"

They're right, it's not hard, but then I binge eat a pile of crap and then beating myself up over it later sucks, and then it all feels like it's too hard, so why go through it again.

[Booo]

I know how you feel Im actually thinking of gorging myself on wedges, cheeseburgers, pizza, baked beans and chips, bacon and eggs on toast and you know what is the only thing that scares me.....

The waste of my money on foods such as these only to be expelled shortly after eating.... funny the money is the only thing that freaks me out.

[Booo]

O and I know what you mean about RL friends just dont get it.... I had one friend who I confided in and she simply said "well Im going to force you to eat", Im like thats not going to work really well, your not going to be around 24/7 and the fact is you cant stop me..... I felt like a child at that point arguing with my mum. None of my RL friends seem to get it

[Luna Lovegood]

I almost gave into a meat pie, but settled for a chicken sandwhich...

Followed by 2 funsize mars bars...hmmm I failed...

[Booo]

I feel fat and icky now.... you have a nice good feeling for a bout ten mins then you feel yuck :(

[Luna Lovegood]

I know that feeling...guilt for wasting $ on crap to make me fatter...grrrrrrr...

[Booo]

Thats the only thing that makes me upset about the whole process. Guilt for wasting money

[Luna Lovegood]

I agree- do you spend much money on weight loss products/gyms/exercise?

[Booo]

I spent 50$ on a blackmores weightloss enhancement for the metabolism or something.... not as succesful as my first thing, I used to go running everynight but some creepy old guys freked me out and i dont do it anymore. I've bought gym clothes but totally ashamed of my body I cant even go to the gym. How bout you?

[Luna Lovegood]

I have brought the blackmores ones, fat blaster, xantrax (sp) plus a whole lot more. I have been walking like crazy for the last week or so- 5km min a day, as well as checking out some different Gyms in the area- going to have a look at Curves tonight...I have a wii fit, weights, yoga mats, medicine balls and balance balls as well...and I am buying a x-trainer next week...

[Booo]

Im more into the quick fix.... I feel some self concious I cant go out icky!

[Luna Lovegood]

If only there was a decent quick fix...

[Booo]

One that wouldnt waste money or make u wonder everytime about losing your hair or ruining your teeth....

[Luna Lovegood]

Where are you from?

[Booo]

Southern Queensland, how bout you?

[Luna Lovegood]

The Grange, Brisbane.

[Booo]

O im close to brisbane maybe have to catch up one day :)

[Luna Lovegood]

For sure.

I want chocolate again...

[Booo]

Deep fried mars bar!

[Luna Lovegood]

:barf:

That is one thing I can't stomach...

[SassyMummy]

Hey guys...

Last year, in a period of about 2-3 months, I lost 27kg starving myself, and when I failed at that, purging up whatever I did it (it wasn't a binge then purge, it was a tiny little bit of nothing, and then purge).

I stopped doing it, for fear of ruining a new relationship, and because spending so much time with him, there's no way I couldn't eat (or eat then run off to spew) without people noticing (him and his family). So I stopped.

I've done it on and off, the purging. The starving is harder now, which I'm thankful for... but I can still purge if I want, sometimes. Where I'm living it's hard, because I'm rarely alone, and the toilet is in such a place with such a high ceiling... and gaghing sounds would be easily heard and now that DP knows about my prior history with it all, he'd find out.

I've actually recently been diagnosed with severe depression, very severe anxiety and "at risk of" an eating disorder. Because I'm not really suffering now, it's just lingering.

My depression and my anxiety is all body-related too, so I'm lucky that the anti-depressants they've put me on are one of the few which don't increase your weight... that would kinda go against the point of my counselling and medication, wouldn't it?

I'm 85-ish kgs now, and it's strange, because I kinda felt unhappier than when I was 110kg (I got down to 83kg). I guess because before, nobody noticed me. Then I went out, after the weightloss and got a lot of male attention... and having just left a relationship where I felt unloved and unappreciated (and actually WAS both of those), getting this attention suddenly made it clear that how I look IS what matters, really.

I was the same person. Same quirky, strange person... just with a better-looking body.

So I kinda got a bit obsessed, and while my DP can't even notice if I'm wearing make-up or not, if I go out without my hair or make-up done, I feel like a hideous beast... and I'm compulsively buying underwear (I know, strange thing) as a result of my anxiety regarding my size... somehow I believe that if I don't have new, sexy underwear on every night, then I'll be seen as hideously boring and unloved and unwanted... and my DP will never want me.

Guess that's more my anxiety than anything, but like I said, it's all body-image related... I've only been once so far (to the psychologist) and due to easter, I can't see her again until late April... so that's... annoying.

[Booo]

You can definatly join Sassy, strange enough feels good to know im not alone, that im not the only one that thinks of myself as repulsive to others while most people cant see it. How was your day today?

Same to you Belle, what did you get up to?