View Full Version : I Feel Like I'm Not Entitled
LuvMy4Babes
17-03-2009, 17:43
To a bad day because I have 4 kids :banghead:
I feel like if I'm having a bad day/hard time with the kids that I can't whinge about it because people (in particular one of the Mum's at school - who has 2 kids) seem to answer with "Well you wanted 4 kids" SO WHAT!!!!! People with 1-2 kids whine about how hard it is and I don't say "Well you think 1-2 is hard, you should try 4" It is soooooooooooo annoying!
YES I chose to have 4 kids and I love them all dearly and would never change a thing, but I have hard days. It gets rough sometimes and I feel like I should be as entitled as anyone else to say how hard/loud/frustrating, etc. it is at times.
Does anyone else feel this way?
Yep sure do!! Vent away here as much as you like!! Kids some times drive us mad no mather how many we have!!
forbetoel
17-03-2009, 18:04
That just sux. We don't have 4 kids thinking "this is going to be so easy!"....
No matter how many kids you have you still deserve support....mums with one child have really hard days.
This mum at school who likes to say "well you wanted 4 kids" sounds jealous to me. Maybe she idealy wanted more children but can't handle the ones she already has. :detective:
LoveMyBoys
17-03-2009, 20:14
Yes i feel like that too :(
kirstenriley
18-03-2009, 05:43
well i only have 3, but i feel like i get that sometimes too...and god forbid if one of them is playing up its like all of a sudden they are feral and out of control because i had too many kids!
Hell yes, kids can drive you up the wall, 1, 3 or whatever. I have 5 and at times I could just "scream" :laughing: yip, sometimes it gets the better of me, but thats life.
Everyone needs a whinge! She obviously aint the one to listen.
PinkBinkie
18-03-2009, 07:30
Everyone is entitled to a whinge now and again, somedays are hard, even with 1 child you can have bad days. I'd just ignore the other mum or if she's having a whinge just say she's got no idea, she's only got 2 kids ;) Try having 4!
chuckles
18-03-2009, 07:34
Oh yea i'm feeling ya!!
My reallies are good for pointing out the amount of kids i have when i'm having a bad day - even if its not the kids giving me that bad day!! lol
Yep- people expect you to be superwoman and when you sometimes may admit you have had are hard day or are struggling a bit they get all..'well, it WAS your choice"
meh- people that say it are just jealous, try not to take it to heart. Oh, and I am now, much more selective on who I 'whinge' too:laughing:
SuperGranny
18-03-2009, 11:21
hi, I'm sure everyone has a gripe about their children whether there is only one child or a dozen. I would try to make it like a joke more than a whinge. Like one time I told a couple of mums at the football, "I was able to walk across matthews bedroom floor to open the window, and my feet never once touched the carpet". They laughed, but it was the truth. Dont take others comments to heart, and make a joke of your minor problems if you can. Marie.
I know exactly how you're feeling. My DH is away this week for work and the usually very healthy baby has decided to get a chest infection and gastro. Hence not sleeping, so she makes sure mummy doesn't either. So I cant visit anyone with a sick baby, cant even go swimming, because she's too sick to go to the pool's creche and hence I'm feeling housebound, totally exhausted and severely lacking in adult conversation.
And someone had the audacity to say to me, why would you want to conceive #5 if you're struggling with 4? :hair:
I feel like saying, well if you came and helped me out for 2 hours to give me a bloody break, I might start handling it a little better (there, rant over)
LuvMy4Babes
18-03-2009, 15:01
Thanks ladies, it's nice to know I'm not alone in this feeling.
Marie, I used the term 'whinge' but in reality it might be a flippant comment like "Gosh they're so loud today" or "I hate going to basketball training because xxxx (3 year old) can't sit still while we're there" something like that. This one mum will always say "Well you wanted 4 kids" it's just irritating.
99% of the time I cope extremely well with the kids and they do lots of after school activities etc. so like I said if I'm having a bad day, people feel the need to tell me I wanted them so basically "suck it up" :banghead:
jacethisa
19-03-2009, 06:41
I find the same thing.. Like I should just cope and get one with it because I chose to have 4 kids.. and also because I am a SAHM apparently my life is easier :/
poo to them all I say..
SuperGranny
19-03-2009, 16:03
hi lovemy4babies, I would just try to avoid the one woman. It is easier if you know who is going to say what, you can choose who you talk with. I worked with women when I was new-married, and they would make the same statements to me all the time, it got so depressing for me to go to work. Marie.
I haven't come across this yet....(well, nothing to my face..lol). If anything..I get sympathy :eek: !!!
I find it best not to give too much detail...I do complain...but I keep it short to most ppl, except my family...but they are supportive, know me and know judgements like that are just useless :)
MummyCharmzy
21-03-2009, 20:40
oh great thread, I feel the same way sometimes! Especially as we are expecting #5 to join us in 7 weeks if I have a bad day and mention it to the 'wrong' person I'll get charming responses about 'you chose to have 5 kids..' well yes I did but mums with one child have bad days and don't get beaten up over there choice to have that one child, its simply put down to being a BAD DAY! So whats so different about having a few kids and having a bad day :S
To a bad day because I have 4 kids :banghead:
I feel like if I'm having a bad day/hard time with the kids that I can't whinge about it because people (in particular one of the Mum's at school - who has 2 kids) seem to answer with "Well you wanted 4 kids" SO WHAT!!!!! People with 1-2 kids whine about how hard it is and I don't say "Well you think 1-2 is hard, you should try 4" It is soooooooooooo annoying!
YES I chose to have 4 kids and I love them all dearly and would never change a thing, but I have hard days. It gets rough sometimes and I feel like I should be as entitled as anyone else to say how hard/loud/frustrating, etc. it is at times.
Does anyone else feel this way?
move over mum with 5 kids wants to beat some heads in :hissy:
I hear ya sista!!
"It was your choice to have 4 kids. You can't complain when it's what you wanted. "
BIFF POW WHAM!!
Oh I'm completely in the same boat - most of the time I cope just fine with my kids but heaven forbid I whinge about them not cleaning their room, or making some extra mess, breaking something special, or just complaining of a bad day all around.
Worst thing is, it's the family that I find the least supportive - they're the ones who are first to pipe up with "ahh well, you wanted that many" :hair: :geek:
:hugs: to you all - at least we all know what the each other is going through. :)
I know how you feel- 2 of mine are foster kids and when im having a hard day people say " well you chose to take them on, send them back" ...
pick your friends i say- what i mean is pick those people who do understand or at least let you vent and only tell them and make a joke of it to everyone else...
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