Live with Grandfather... Doing my head in

[lil miss]

I am a 20 year old mum of an 18 month old girl. I split with her dad in july last year, and have been living with my grandfather since then.

He constantly tells me what a horrible mother I am, and tells me he wants me out of the house. When i say to dd having somehting, he turns around and gives it to her anyway. He tells me im lazy and I dont deserve to be a mother. Im not allowed to have friends over, and he gets angry at me when i (rarely) go out. I have started dating again, and all he doe sis bag my new boyfriend out (even though he's never met him). We've been dating for 9 months and he's not even allowed to step foot through the front gate.

Im sick to death of being told how horrible and lazy I am. he's called me a ***** and other names, and yeah. its really starting to get to me. I know he doesnt agree with the way i am raising her, but she is happy, healthy, and has everything she needs plus more. I cant see what the big deal is. I have tried talking to him, that didnt work. My mum has tired talking to him, but that didnt work either. I dont know what to do. I need to get out but i dont have anywhere to go (too expensive to rent, and wait list for dept. housing too long). Any ideas??

[OJandMe]

Can't you live with your mum??

There is also a website called Space 4.. which is about single Mum house finding house share arrangements with other single Mums... splitting the cost of rent and stuff.

here's the website Space 4 (http://www.space4.com.au/index.php?p=membership)

EG: There a few people in the 22-29 age group in the Brisbane area who are looking to sharehouse with another single Mum.... (according to Space 4)

[Bunnyhugs]

Can you move back in with your parents?

I think the problem with your granfather is that he's from a different generation and things were done differently in his day. Having said that though, it doesn't sound like a nice situation to be in at all.

[jellea88]

:hugs: have you maybe looked into sharing a house with some friends who DD is comfortable around or with someone who also has a child around DD's age? I know its hard when your young and on your own, but if you are getting stressed about the situation then DD will probably pick up on it and I assume you don't really want tp expose her to your grandfather's behaviour towards you.

sorry its not much help but when i was 19 DD was almost 1 and i found that sharing house helped alot with paying rent etc. and if you move in with a female then you won't lose your single parent payment.

good luck and big :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs: to help you until you find a better solution

[LilShenanigans]

wow.. quick real estate search and there is nothing out there ..

You need to move though. You can't live with your mum? or if she lives further away closer to her?

[mum2bubba]

Very sorry this is happening to you, you're grandfather doesn't like very nice.

I don't really know what advice to give or where you can go but maybe stay at one of your relatives or close friends house or something.

I hope everything works out. I know if anyone spoke about me (or to me) like that I'd give 'em an ear full. :shame:

[lil miss]

no i cant live with my mum, she has no room and we cant live together anyways cuz we would kill each other (hence why i moved/was kicked out when i was 17). I dont feel comfortable sharing with someone i dont know, regardless if they have kids or not, and none of my friends have kids so thats out of the question too. So for now, im just going to stay where i am.

[Cicho]

I would approach QLD housing and see if you can get a unit or small house for yourself because the situation you are living in is abusive to yourself and your DD would be feeling the tension no doubt.

Give Dept. of Housing a call and ask to speak to a counsellor.. would be worth a try.

If that was me, even living in a caravan would be less stressful for you and your DD

Good Luck :hugs:

[Leisa21]

:hugs::hugs: Sounds like you need to get out of there straight away. I really hope you can find somewhere soon :hugs::hugs:

[schoolmum]

Just a thought, has your grandfather always been this negative and aggressive?
As this sort of behavior can be a indicator of the onset Alzheimer's/dementia.
While it is hard to excuse and live with this sort of behavior, it may well explain it.

[lil miss]

thanks guys, appreciate the advise. Dept of housing cant help, already tried. They put me on the emergancy waiting list and even thats about 3 years here... doesnt help with the mines closing down etc. As for my grandad, he has always been like that, just never that bad. I refuse to live in a caravan- thats where I stared and im not going back there. I have a system worked out now, i just try to avoid being home as much as possible. Its working so far. My grandad adores my daughter, and me for the most part. Its just when he doesnt agree with something or goes against me is when **** hits the fan.