may I ask a question?

[jag5000]

Hi all,

hope it's ok to pop into your threads here. If it's ok I'd love if anyone could answer a question I've been thinking about for a while.

I'm close to becoming an egg donor. I was chatting to my DH about this and we talked about him maybe becoming a sperm donor. We liked the idea of helping out a couple privately rather than through a clinic, simply because I know of same sex parents who had either had trouble with clinics or would just prefer not to use them..

so my questions.. first, how would be a good way to let couples know we are willing to help if they are interested? and advice there

and also, how to we actually collect and transport sperm in a viable state? obviously we know how to collect it! :laughing: but any advice of the science of it? how long is sperm viable? how can it be transported?

lots of questions and not really any properly formed thoughts but I hope you get what I'm asking... basically, we know we want to help.. just not sure how!

thanks!

:)

[Nurse27]

Hi Jag5000,

The best way to get known as a donor is to advertise your services :)

LOTL magazine is a lesbian focus magazine that has a personals section in which people advertise to be a sperm donor.

There is also a "free sperm donor website" that a lot of women access to obtain a sperm donor.

As for the logistics of it all, basically the woman/women you help will usually travel to you - we had a donor in sydney and would travel from adelaide each month, he would come and visit our hotel, a couple of times we went out for tea, then he would do his business in the bathroom into a sterile pot - which we provided, he would say seeya later, and we would do the insemination. Basically fresh sperm needs to be used within a few minutes. We saw him for 4 or 5 days a month.

Before you go ahead with sperm donation - most women will want to know that you are disease free -so pathology reports from the doctor with a recent blood test for STI's, HIV, Hepatitis etc, willl mean things will be able to go ahead smoothly.

Good luck with everything!

[MimiGrace]

I can only help you with ideas for finding recipients.
Its a website mainly for gay wanna-be parents (i'm not sure how active it is. but it might be a nice start off point?) its here
(http://donorsearch.webs.com/apps/forums/)
i think its a wonderful thing your doing jag :hugs:
i want to do that one day!
the main issue i can see atm, is that gay men still need an incubator, so a sperm donor for a lesbian couple is almost easier (if that makes sense?)
but i'm sure you'll figure it out :thumbsup:
wonderful wonderful!!!

[Green Mum to be]

Hi Jag5000

Just got to say that you two are both wonderful :yes: and will make a lesbian couple VERY VERY happy. Clinics are really expensive (especially if you live in a state where they wont treat you for 'social infertility' and you have to fly there as well as pay for the treatment) and difficult to deal with especially if the women don't have a fertility problem.

Advertising is probably the best way to go, unless you are in adelaide then i could put you straight onto friends of ours :D. You can look in these places for advertisements of those looking for sperm and reply to them rather than putting yourselves out there.

Our friends used the 'free sperm donors worldwide' or sperm donors worldwide website which is the best that i have seen so far.

As Nurse 27 mentioned they will usually come to you if it is interstate and stay in a hotel. There are a few options for logistics with delivery:

- recipient comes to you and collects sample
- Donor drops sample off
- Donor 'delivers' at the recipent premises then leaves.
etc etc

We use a sterile urine sample containers which we buy from the chemist, we buy them and give to donor for use. He drops the sample to us and on one occasion used our bathroom.:o We gave them some money for petrol but as they are friends of ours they (he and his wife) complained about it!

Sperm has a life of about an hour, before it loses too many swimmers, in a container as long as it is kept dark and warm, under a top close to the skin usually does it. If you can get it to the recipient in that time it doesn't take too long to inseminate. DP and i have got it down to a few minutes.

It is standard to require an SA and std check all of which will usually be paid by the recipient. They will likely chat with you via email for a while to ensure that you are honest and have the same expectations of the donation as you do.

I have a diary in the TTC diary section if you are interested in our journey.

Reply or PM me for more info or detail on the entire 'process' as i'm a little :o to write it in here without specifically being asked!

[jag5000]

thanks so much for your replies all :hugs:

one more question - anyone know much about any legalities of donating sperm privately?

sorry for the quick post but just running out the door.. have more questions I will come back later to ask! :D

thanks again!

[Green Mum to be]

The laws differ depending on what state you are in. There isn't much in the way of legality with this across australia though. It isn't a great system. Which state are you in? NSW has the best laws but there are changes happing in Vic to become effective in Jan 10.

It is mentioned that legal arrangements aren't worth the paper that they are written on in some states.

If it is done via AI rather than intercourse, obviously your case, there is a lesser degree of responsibility on the father. And people tend to have written agreements to ensure there is some coverage and agreance between all parties.

Mostly in terms of anonymous donation (where he does not want custody or a similar ongoing arrangement) there will be a arrangement where he is not put on the birth certificate and as such does not have any legal rights.

In our case we don't have a written agreement although we discussed the situation over three 'meetings' and have been friends for about 10 years. Our donor is effectively 'anonymous' to the point in time where we chose to disclose it to all of our children (he and his wife have two and we have agreed to two with DP and I). We are the sole parents and we will not be putting his name on the birth certificate.

It is scarey on both sides and there is trust involved. If the donor of our child forced a DNA test he could gain parental rights yet at the same time the financial burden.

I hope that helps a little! Ask away!

[Green Mum to be]

:doh: Just saw that you are in Vic... i'm not great on the law there. Hopefully one of the other girls can help!