Info about medical termination

[jaesmummy]

I am 17 weeks pregnant and MIGHT have to consider a medical termination in the near future. I have to wait for some amnio results. Although I'm jumping the gun, I don't know anything about medical terminations and I have questions that are really difficult to ask.

At about 18 or 19 weeks, is the baby born alive and then dies after birth or do they do something to stop the baby from living while still inside? Is it just like a full term delivery? How do they induce you? Do you see the baby after delivery? What do they do with the baby after birth? Can you choose to give your baby a funeral? These are the hard questions that I'm too scared to ask because I'm scared of the answers - but I have to know.

Can anyone who has had a medical termination tell me if they should have had a surgical one because it affected them so much emotionally? Please tell me your stories so I can have some idea of what I might have to decide what to do? Thanks for your help.

[KatiesMum]

I dont have any information or suggestions

but couldnt read without posting either.

Many :hugs:. I really hope that the results from your amnio come back all good and perfect.

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

[jaesmummy]

Thank you Katies mum for the reply and hugs. I hope it doesn't come to this of course, but I thought I had better be prepared in case I do have to make this decision. There are some things that I just can't get out of my head. I hate the thought of taking my baby's life when it will be 18 or 19 weeks. I feel like I will be a murderer. And there just doesn't seem to be anyone to talk to about it. I've read through all the termination posts and they were all about chosen early terminations. I hope somebody is brave enough to talk to me about it. :flowerz:

[canberramomma]

I had a late termination at 20 weeks. The baby was euthanased inside my womb. I was under a VERY strong sedative and didn't know a lot of what went on.


What you have to e aware of is the incredible emotion (a lot due to hormones) that you will experience afterwards and if you DO have to take this path, please do not hesitate to seek out help if you become depressed or feel like you are not coping.

I would have really liked to have that advice when I went through what I did.

PM me if you need some non-judgmental support.

I hope you don't have to make this incredibly difficult decision. :hugs:

[BigRedV]

At about 18 or 19 weeks, is the baby born alive and then dies after birth or do they do something to stop the baby from living while still inside? Is it just like a full term delivery? How do they induce you? Do you see the baby after delivery? What do they do with the baby after birth? Can you choose to give your baby a funeral? These are the hard questions that I'm too scared to ask because I'm scared of the answers - but I have to know.

Can anyone who has had a medical termination tell me if they should have had a surgical one because it affected them so much emotionally? Please tell me your stories so I can have some idea of what I might have to decide what to do? Thanks for your help.

Sorry to hear you have to go through this.

I had to terminate my twin girls at 19 weeks four weeks ago :(. I only found out at 18 weeks the severity of their disabilities so it was a very distressing time. We decided against the amnio because if I went after 20 weeks, our decision to terminate (in NSW) would have to go before a panel and since the results of the amnio were going to take 2 weeks, we didn't want to have to explain to anyone about our decisions or have them decide it for us.

I will try and answer all your questions below:

It is most definitely NOT like a full term delivery. Normally, because of the process, the baby is almost always born deceased. My first twin was born dead but the second one was alive - but only because the midwife asked me to push. It was not hard pushing physically like a full term baby. How they induced me was by inserting 2 tablets every 6 hours up near the cervix to soften and open it. It can take up to 24 hours. They inserted the first tablets at about 10:30am, then 4:30pm, then 11pm. By 3:30am, they were both born and the placenta had come out. The choice to see the baby is entirely up to you. I didn't think I wanted to see them at first and was quite adamant about it but the first baby was born when I was on the toilet - they had a little bucket thing over the bowl as this is apparently quite common. As it was unexpected, I looked down to see and saw the baby. So, I decided to look at the next one. I am grateful now that I did. The hospital where I delivered the twins and most hospitals will do this - making up a memory box of photos and hand and foot prints for you to collect and even some photos, birth card etc. After birth, my babies were taken to the delivery suite and weighed etc. They were in the delivery room for about 8 or 10 hours. We were asked if we wanted the priest to come and bless them and we said yes. You can choose to have a funeral if you want and name your babies. We had our babies cremated and they tell you wher the ashes are if you want to go and pray or something like that. We also had the option of burying them ourselves but we are in the process of moving house so we didn't want to bury them in the backyard. I had lots of support from a social worker before and after and they still contact me now!!!

Any other questions, just ask. Once again, sorry you are going through this. I hope everything works out for you:hugs:

[faroutbrusselsprout]

I will try and answer all your questions below:

It is most definitely NOT like a full term delivery. Normally, because of the process, the baby is almost always born deceased. My first twin was born dead but the second one was alive - but only because the midwife asked me to push. It was not hard pushing physically like a full term baby. How they induced me was by inserting 2 tablets every 6 hours up near the cervix to soften and open it. It can take up to 24 hours. They inserted the first tablets at about 10:30am, then 4:30pm, then 11pm. By 3:30am, they were both born and the placenta had come out. Th choice to see the baby is entirely up to you. I didn't think I wanted to see them at first but the first baby was born when I was on the toilet - they had a little bucket thing over the bowl as this is apparently quite common. As it was unexpected, I looked down to see and saw the baby. So, I decided to look at the next one. I am grateful now that I did. the hospital where I delivered the twins and most hospitals will do this - making up a memory box of photos and hand and foot prints for you to collect and even some photos, birth card etc. After birth, my babies were taken to the delivery suite and weighed etc. They were in the delivery room for about 8 or 10 hours. We had them blessed by a priest. You can choose to have a funeral if you want and name your babies. We had our babies cremated and they tell you wher the ashes are if you want to go and pray or something like that. We also had the option of burying them ourselves but we are in the process of mocing house so we didn't want to bury them in the backyard. I had lots of support from a social worker before and after and they still contact me now!!!

Any other questions, just ask. Once again, sorry you are going through this. I hope everything works out for you:hugs:

This is very simialr to the process I went through.. I am not comfortable talking about all the details so I have PMd you.
:hugs:

[jaesmummy]

Thank you Lozzaaa. Thank you for telling me all the details. I appreciate how hard it must be to talk about and i hope I haven't upset you. I cried so much when I read your story. I am so, so sorry that you lost your babies. I think I've had all my questions answered thanks to the brave women who replied to my post. Now the wait till Tues. I hope I don't have to make this decision. Even if the baby is fine, I'm glad I spoke to you and could listen to a little of what you went through. :flowerz::hugs::hugs::hugs:

[JLH]

Hi Jaesmummy,

I went through a similar process as well. We found out shortly after our 12 week scan and blood serum test that our odds for Downs were 1:15. We were devastated and were referred for further testing. I was lucky enough to be rushed through and early enough for a CVS, however this was not to be as my placenta was in a bad position and could not be done. We were told that an Amnio would be the best but could not be performed for a further couple of weeks which would mean the difference of an actual vaginal delivery as opposed to a surgical termination. It was the opinion of 2 OB's that our baby was poorly and were looking at either down syndrome or turner's syndrome and other "structural" defects. We were told it was likely baby would pass away between 16-24 weeks.

We felt that emotionally I couldn't go ahead and deliver our baby should the tests confirm the worst so we opted for a surgical termination at 15 weeks without an Amnio. This was such a hard decision as we were basing our decision on the opinions of the OB's not actual confirmed results.

The recovery afterwards was fine, I felt a bit slow for the next 48 hours but nothing awful. Bleeding stopped a week after and a normal period a month later.

It is such a hard decision to make, in our case the pathology results confirmed Trisomy 21. We have the memorial service next month which i think will help with the healing process.

Good luck! and I hope your results are positive!!

[monie]

Hi Jaesmummy,

I went through a similar process as well. We found out shortly after our 12 week scan and blood serum test that our odds for Downs were 1:15. We were devastated and were referred for further testing. I was lucky enough to be rushed through and early enough for a CVS, however this was not to be as my placenta was in a bad position and could not be done. We were told that an Amnio would be the best but could not be performed for a further couple of weeks which would mean the difference of an actual vaginal delivery as opposed to a surgical termination. It was the opinion of 2 OB's that our baby was poorly and were looking at either down syndrome or turner's syndrome and other "structural" defects. We were told it was likely baby would pass away between 16-24 weeks.

We felt that emotionally I couldn't go ahead and deliver our baby should the tests confirm the worst so we opted for a surgical termination at 15 weeks without an Amnio. This was such a hard decision as we were basing our decision on the opinions of the OB's not actual confirmed results.

The recovery afterwards was fine, I felt a bit slow for the next 48 hours but nothing awful. Bleeding stopped a week after and a normal period a month later.

It is such a hard decision to make, in our case the pathology results confirmed Trisomy 21. We have the memorial service next month which i think will help with the healing process.

Good luck! and I hope your results are positive!!


Hi LJH

I have just found out I will also have to go through a termination at 14 weeks. After having a CVS at 12 weeks and there being no chromosome problems, the cystic hygroma around the babies neck has swollen more so the Doctors all think a termination is best, as the baby will go into heart failure and could cause me further problems. I'm 34 and have never been though anything like this before. How were you emotionally afterwards? And what did the proceedure involve?

[Heather031109]

Hi Jaesmummy, JLH and Lozzaa...

I am so sorry to read your stories. I am 16 weeks and carrying twins also. On Thursday I am scheduled in for the termination of one of my twins. We were told the twin had developed a rare brain disease and termination was the only option. I'm also having an amnio test on the the other twin at the same time to make sure that one is ok (they told us it was) but it's just a precaution.
I am so terrified, more so about the aftermath and the risk the test and termination will have on the normal twin.
Besides the belleding what else did anyone experience? I was told I would have period like cramping pain and some bleeding, I'm just a little scared that if i see too much blood it may mean i have miscarried the other twin...I cant get this off my mind :no:....

Looking forward to your replies xo:smiliedance: