Poor, fat, pimpled and pregnant

[Enceinte]

I wanted this pregnancy and now that I am 15 weeks pregnant I want to die I am so sad.

Little things make me bawl my eyes out for hours. My skin is terrible and it took a year on Roaccutane to fix after I was prescribed a progesterone only pill years ago. I suppose I should have checked ahead that pregnancy is all about the dreadful progesterone hormone. My fiance does not realized how depressed I was last time.

Its not just that but having struggled with eating disorders to finally learn how to eat healthy its all down the toilet. I just hit 70kg on the scales this morning. Thats 7kg gained in 15 weeks. I read somewhere your not even supposed to put on weight during the first trimester but I did. Now I feel so ugly and bloated I cry when I look in the mirror or another spot appears on my face. I know I sound superficial but I am sooo sad. My back feels like its decaying its so sore. And everyone keeps commenting on how huge my boobs are but it makes me want to cry more. used to run marathons now cant even run.

We have been really struggling as my fiance has only been working part-time. Between paying off his 30K debt, the rent and slowly paying for the wedding there is nothing left over. A girl came into work on Monday who bought a bag for $225. I went to the bathroom and cried before hiding my falling apart bag in my draw. He's got a full-time job now so things should pick up but its been awful. My hair hasn't been cut in a year and i get jealous of girls who smell of perfume (I'm starting to cry again) and its not that I am bad with money or don't earn enough. You cant help who you fall for though and I didn't realize how much he owed.

When my fiance had a ticket bought to go to a concert Thurs, then the rugby last night and today fishing with the boys I thought I hated him. I dont its just I'm so depressed. He left and I went to my room and cried. Even when I met a couple of friends for coffee I just had water. I feel so embarrassed there is nothing in my wallet.

And there's all these books talking about healthy eating and we are so broke there is only bread and baked beans in the house. Its just cheaper to get fast food at the moment so I am probably damaging the baby with what I'm eating. (more tears)

Thanks for reading I'm sorry for the way I sound. Please let me know if anyone out there is the same.

[Mamalicious]

:( I'm so sorry you feel this way. :hugs:

Could you talk to your partner about his spending? It's not very fair that you can't afford a coffee with your friends, everyone needs some "fun money" even if it's only $10. Each, mind you...;)

:hugs::hugs:

[gymmummy]

:hugs:


Its not just that but having struggled with eating disorders to finally learn how to eat healthy its all down the toilet. I just hit 70kg on the scales this morning. Thats 7kg gained in 15 weeks. I read somewhere your not even supposed to put on weight during the first trimester but I did. Now I feel so ugly and bloated I cry when I look in the mirror or another spot appears on my face. I know I sound superficial but I am sooo sad. My back feels like its decaying its so sore. And everyone keeps commenting on how huge my boobs are but it makes me want to cry more. used to run marathons now cant even run.

.:kiss:
i so feel for you i know exactly where you are coming from. with my first i was a gym junkie tight body and very happy- i fond only people who are as high energy with running and exercise as yourself understand where you are as others say- you can still workout- well yes you can but not to the EXTREME that you used to- and remember to your gone from burning a good 5000calsa week to burning only half that and still eating the same an maybe a bit more so of course for us fit small people who exercise to keep it off it will come on a bit faster then others.:thumbsdown: i broke out in little pimples as well and i'm not a acne girl never have been so yep you look at yourself and see this hideous person- BUT YOUR NOT:hugs:
dont forget our hormones are quadruple and everything seems huger then it normally would, i'm not going to say enjoy it- as it was siad to me alot and i didn't enjoy my first at all i hated being pregnant! i hated my bigger boobs to as i normally have wee ones.

all i'm goign to say to you is try and be kind to yourself and everyday look in the mirror and say at least one thing you love- even if its your growing belly. take deep breaths and don't shoot from the hip think first- i have learnt this alot from my first and taking my second one very differently i think i'm actually enjoying it a wee bit more.

surround yourself with people that love you, understand you and can be there just to listen not to judge or give advice as i found i just needed an ear sometimes not how to deal with it- which sometimes hubbys don't get lol

lots of hugs to you:hugs: you will get through it though i proamise it does end i can at least say that lol

[Budge]

I'm sorry you feel this way :hugs:

I haven't got any advice. I just thought I'd come and offer you some hugs :hugs::hugs:

If you want to you can PM me anytime.. I'm happy to listen :hugs:

[Enceinte]

I feel a little stupid looking at what I wrote. God talk about self-pity.

Thanks so much for the replies though - it means so much to know that there are other people that aren't running around creating pink blogs with balloons and talking about their anticipation of the bundle of joy...

It really has helped especially to hear someone who understands what its like if you could push yourself at sport before and now its all about 'moderate' exercise.

I wont lie and say I feel tremendous but its nice that these forums are here so that I can say things that would make the other mums at my workplace pass out - or slap me!

Thanks again - for the hugs and replies. And hopefully someone else who is feeling like me will read this and feel relieved that they aren't entirely abnormal.

[Izy]

Just wanted to say your post made me cry. I am so glad you have a place you can get all of this out now.

If your finances are really stretched maybe see if you can go to a local wholesale fruit/veg market and buy a few big boxes, they can be really cheap and you can put things in the freezer.

I remember there was about 2 weeks in 2001 where EVERY meal we had was with tomato... mince with tomato, tomato salsa things, tomato pasta, bacon and tomato, tomato soup... cause I got a big box for $1 and we couldn't afford much more :laughing:

It's such a depressing time but I think you're doing well by talking about it :hugs:

And welcome to the Hub :thumbsup:

[mumof2brats]

:hugs:to you.
it made me sad to read your post,as i sort of felt that way too when pregnant with ds1.

we had no where to live ,no car, hardly any money. it was really rough for us.
but i must say it gets better.please keep your chin up:hugs:

here if you need to talk just PM me,im a good listener.

take care:hugs:

[SPC]

Just a quick note about the pimples. I found that my skin went really greasy and I had breakout up til mid pregnancy and then it started to improve. By the time I gave birth it was better than it had been on medication before pregnancy. Now I'm breastfeeding and it's still great, which is a miracle! So there is hope. Also I put on 7 kg in the first few months, but only 12 overall, most of which just dropped off in the first couple of weeks. :hugs:

[MummaLove]

Hi There

Just wanted you to know you're not alone! I feel enormous this time around with my 2nd as I'd just lost the last 3.5 kg's from the first! DON'T WORRY, I never even bothered to weigh myself in the 1st pregnancy and I'm not about to start for the 2nd. Everyone is different and it's absolutely NO guide to a healthy pregnancy, even my Doc doesn't bother weighing me, she can see I'm healthy. My thighs have blown out and the cellulite is out of control, but hey, after 16 weeks of morning sickness and eating just about anything I could keep down, I don't care. I had yukky little pimples all over my chest and I'm not prone to acne but they're cleared up now so don't stress, all these lovely pregnancy side effects don't last long and they're soon over.

And anyway, my body is busy creating another human and what could be more amazing than that!! You will find, in time, after your gorgeous bubba is born that you'll get back on track to that super fit and this time yummy mummy that you are!

As for the finance issues, well there are lots of ways you can save, but your partner has to be on board with you too. It's defiantely worth having a delicate conversation with him about it. And fast food is NEVER cheaper, you're much better off spending $40 on fresh fruit and veggies which will make more meals than spending the same amount on the number of equivalent big mac meals, and it's much better for you. I like to make vegetarian lasagne's or veggie pizza's if I'm trying to strech the budget, I'm no vegetarian but they're still healthy and yummy and you're not spending as much by using meat with every meal, even my husband loves them!

I truly wish you the very best of luck, and even though you're colleague may have an expensive handbag, you're about to walk out of a hospital with the most precious little bundle you'll ever have, so there's no comparison!!

Big Hugs :)