Need help/advise for my 4mth old!

[moomoz]

Hi there everyone :) ,
I'm a new mum of 4 month old baby boy ryan who hasn't as yet started to use his arms/hands to grab at objects and was wondering if anyone has any suggestions as to how you get them to start grabing onto things. Is he too young? I've tried to encourage him by helping him grab onto objects and showing him that he is holding them, but this only lasts a few seconds. It seems he is too interested in putting his hands in his mouth or moving his arms at this side.

Also, my doctor has suggested that he go from 4 hourly feeds to 6 hourly feeds (he is bottled feed - formula) and to drop one of his feeds at night - My doctor seems to think he is feeding 4 hourly by habit rather than hunger as he doesn't completely finish the bottles.... I'm finding this hard, so far he can only go for 5 hours (after dragging it out with distractions) and the night feed, I've dropped one bottle back to half the normal mils but he still wakes 2 hours later wanting more! Any suggestions on how to drop this feed without the screaming :( at 3am in the morning??
Thanks
Moomoz :D
mum of ryan 13.03.05

[mumofethan]

Hi Moomoz,

I wouldnt worry about you son not being interested in reaching to things... it seems he is purely not interested it it, and those hands are sure tasty!

Try laying him under a play gym with toys that he can reach without effort, most the time the "bat" at toys insted of holding them.

As for feeds; my son never used to finish the bottle, so i ended up giving him a smaller amount, he just didnt like to have huge feeds. I mentioned it to my nurse and she said aslong as he is getting enough formula by the end of the day, and i am happy to feed him smaller amounts it is fine. My son is now 9.5mths and he has 3-4 full bottles per day as per "normal"

:D

Michelle

[jamb]

I'm not to sure on the grabbing/using hands side of things but thought i'd say, there is NO WAY my 4.5month old who is bottle fed woould last 6 hours between feeds!! Not a chance in hell!! I'm lucky if he goes 4 hours (except at night when he sleeps through). During the day he likes to graze and eats every 2.5/3hrs. I'd like to see the doctor put up with a hungry crying bub who is only happy when they get the bottle! I think babies eat when they are hungry and growth spurts may mean they are hungry in the middle of the night, we just have to ride with it.

[Chickadee]

Yep, have to agree with everyone elses comment on the bottle feeding. Personally, and I know this is hard as a first time mum, I'd ignore the dr's suggestion and trust your own instinct. If bub is hungry, feed him, and don't worry about how much he takes or what time it is. Just because he doesn't "finish" his bottle, doesn't mean he wasn't hungry at the start of it! You could compare it to being given a huge plate of food at a restaurant - you may not finish it but that doesn't mean you didn't need to eat. And always remember - if you were breastfeeding you wouldn't have a clue how much he was getting at each feed and would just be checking how content is is and that he's gaining weight.

If it helps, my daughter almost always had one bottle more per day that the "suggested" number for her age. And I always made bottles slightly bigger than what she'd usually take so she rarely finished them.

I'm trying to remember my daughter's progress with grabbing things. I know she was batting at her playgym at 4-5 months, but I don't think she actually grabbed hold of the toys till at least 5 months. And if I put something in her hand it didn't get much interest. I even tried little mittens with bells in them and cute little lion pictures - as far as I could tell she just hated having them on!

[moomoz]

Thanks everyone for your advise. I thought it was weird that the doctor said that about the feeds. I normally just give the bottles to him when he was hungry, usually around the 3-4hr mark. Its almost impossible to drag them out to 6hrs (and really unfair) and I really didn't want to have to do it but thought maybe he was getting to that stage where they have more mils with less bottles. The dr reckons that he should feed at midnight and last until 6-7am in the morning, but I really don't see how thats going to happen! Where do they get this info from? I normally would go to an early childhood centre for advise instead of the doctor but I've only just moved to the gold coast from NSW and don't as yet know where one is!

Also, another thing, my son still wakes often at night. He goes to bed around 7-7.30pm each night without fuss and usually sleeps until 2-3am when he wakes for the next feed, but the last 2 weeks he has been waking at 11pm for a feed. Could this be that he is having a growth spurt to want this feed again? And how do you get them to sleep through and at what stage does this occur?
Thanks
Moomozz
mum of Ryan 13.03.05

[Chickadee]

thought maybe he was getting to that stage where they have more mils with less bottles.

They do eventually do this, either gradually or pretty quickly. When Chloe started finishing (or coming close to finishing) bottles on a daily basis I upped the ml /bottle. But I don't think I dropped a daytime bottle until either she dropped to 2 naps instead of 3 (affected the timing of her whole day) or after she started on solids. I can't really remember, but to me it seemed natural and not forced. If you do notice that one feed is particular is usually just a snack, that he doesn't take much, then you could try dropping that one but might have to bring the next one forward a bit to compensate for the missed snack.

Bubs all differ on when they'll sleep through, and some will continue to need a nighttime bottle longer than other babes. So there's no easy answer. And just when you think they've dropped a nighttime bottle, they may want it back again! I worked really hard at getting Chloe to self-settle around 4-6 months and dropped her nighttime feed sometime during that period - more by luck than anything. I think one night I might have gone in to give her a dummy before I warmed the bottle and found her asleep again before I got back! But some people I've heard try giving water at night instead of milk and that sometimes works. I can't give you any more info on how or when to try that tho, sorry.

[mumofethan]

This doctor really doesnt seem to know what they are talking about....

My son used to wake up 1-2 times a nite at 4mths for a bottle... normally once around 11pm and again at around 4am... they only have little tummies that cant hold much! 6hrs can be a long time for babies.

As for not finishing the bottle it is an individual thing, my son didnt start drinking full bottles until he was around 6mths, it is just the way he was, but suddenly we dropped from 6-7 bottles a day to 4-5 bottles...

Sleeping all the way thru doesnt normally happen until they are on solids, and even then it can take a while. My son is 9.5mths and we have just started to take away the middle of the nite bottle because i know that it is a comfort thing for him, however this does take a while, and sometimes he still wakes up at 5am for a bottle insted of 7.30am.

All the best for you, and I would recommend looking up a childrens clinic and get away from this doctor!

:D

Michelle

[madvoice]

My 3mo daughter is just starting to get interested in grabbing things. Especially since I bought her a playgym. She'll grab at the links (Link-A-Doos Gym) and what's attached to them and tries to put them straight in her mouth (everything tastes good apparently). It was one of be best investmets I've made in baby toys.
Raleigh doesn't sleep through yet (she's breastfed) She might go from about 8pm until 2am, then waking again at 7am (she's changed her sleep habits again LOL). I don't expect her to sleep through yet. Some babies don't sleep through until they're close to a year old.
As for number of feeds and what this Dr is telling you, I'd seek a second opinion or at least find someone that respects your wishes.

[TwoBlue]

Find a new Doctor !!!

With bubs your age you need to go with the flow...
Boys especially will have really obvious growth spurts through their lives and you will find he may be waking for feeds now but in a few weeks (or less or more) he will sleep longer.
If Ryan is hungry then feed him.
I know at this stage it seems like you are up all night but let me assure you that this time will be over before you know it.

In regards to the hands, well my son was really delayed with his hands and wasnt grabbing for things till around 6 months, but he caught up very quickly and is now a normal, often annoying 15 month old crazy kid !!!
Dont worry about developmental things as each bub will do what they want, when they want.... Just enjoy them :)

Cheers

[flower]

I'm not to sure on the grabbing/using hands side of things but thought i'd say, there is NO WAY my 4.5month old who is bottle fed woould last 6 hours between feeds!! Not a chance in hell!! I'm lucky if he goes 4 hours (except at night when he sleeps through). During the day he likes to graze and eats every 2.5/3hrs. I'd like to see the doctor put up with a hungry crying bub who is only happy when they get the bottle! I think babies eat when they are hungry and growth spurts may mean they are hungry in the middle of the night, we just have to ride with it.

I agree mummajack.......try telling a screaming child that dindins just isn't for another 3 hours....mine is constantly demanding to be fed. Even after he's fed and watered...his eye's pop out of his head when I start eating.
From about 4 months of age we started to realise that the reason he screamed and wailed everytime we went out for lunch was....he wasnt getting any. Started to feed him the warm soupy miso...and problem solved.........he still eats every 3 and a half to four hours!!! What can you do?
Orly's mom

[liz73]

I definitely agree with all the mums on the feeding - do what makes your life easier, the doctor and the books might say what is a perfect baby but all baby's are different. My little boy used to wake quite a few times up until six months and I just went with it as sleep deprived as I was. He only started sleeping from 7pm through to 5.30am when he was one. As for your baby grasping toys, just keep doing what you are doing, playgyms are great, wrist rattles encourage the baby to become more aware of their hands as does massaging them and putting their hands up where they can see them when you are massaging. Some comfort for you might be that when he is sucking his hands he is learning about his hands, the mouth provides babies with alot of sensory feedback, that is also why babies put toys in their mouth they learn more about the toy that way when they are young. Hope some of this helps, and trusting your instincts is the best thing you can do.