Find out or NOT find out. That is the question??

[tegie2302]

So,

While i am sitting here bored at work i thought i would ask the ultimate question.

What are people views on find out the sex of the baby or waiting to get a surprise?

Personally we are leaning towards finding out. 1 we both suck at secrets. i cant even keep what i got DH for his birthday a secret let along wait 9 months to find out the sex of our baby.
2 i would like the time to prepare everything the best i can and get ready for the right handme downs ha ha

Although i do know that there is a chance docs could get it wrong but with all the fan dangled technology these days you cant go to wrong?

[Spludgie]

I personally wouldn't find out, I think that would be the best surprise and a great incentive to get through all our hard work and pain :)

[hakuna matata]

I have ALWAYS said that I wouldn't find out, but now I think I would lol.

I am just the worst when I know a surprise is coming, I will practically do ANYTHING to find out what it is!!!

SO i think if I was asked, do you want to know that sex.. I Won't be able to help myself!!!

BUT, I think DP and I will try to keep it to ourselves, so it is a surprise to everyone else!!

[QTB]

We have done both

we found out with DS1, we didnt with DS2

with DS1, we just couldnt wait....

with DS2, we desided we wanted to find out the sex ourselves, not have a stranger telling us something so massive... and i just loooooooooooooved the suprise... i looove the moment when DH said with a tear running down his cheek in pride, "babe, its a boy, we have another little boy" nothing beats that moment!!

so i wont be finding out again :D

[kiwimum2b]

We didn't find out with DS1 and it was a really amazing experience however I am preg with DS2 and I just had this overwhelming need to find out the sex!!

[Pregnor]

We found out, cos I was so impatient, I just had to know! But the day was actually a bit anti-climactic.

I did LOVE buying cute clothes though, and I never really liked many of the gender neutral stuff. I also think I wou,d have gone insane trying to pick names for 2 genders

[hakuna matata]

AW I just wanted to say that QTB that is so sweet I seriously got a shiver on the back of my neck!

[QTB]

AW I just wanted to say that QTB that is so sweet I seriously got a shiver on the back of my neck!

hehe thank you!


btw waiting to find out at birth is easier than waiting til your scan, because you know that you are going to wait, so your not counting down to the scan to find out the sex, your counting down to see the bub... then as birth comes closer its sooo exciting knowing that in xx weeks/xxdays you are not only going to meet your bub, you also get to find out the sex, and the bubs name (cos of course you cant name bub if you dont know the sex!)

with DS1 we found out the sex, we had a name chosen... so the birth was all about the pain

DS2 we had a list of names for both sex's. but the birth wasnt about the pain, it was wow really soon i get to find out if this baby is a girl or boy, i wonder what s/he will be named etc etc

(hope that makes sence lol)

[sparkle5301]

I agree with QTB. We didn't find out the gender of our first two, and the anticipation when they were born was sooooo amazing, and it was such an emotional experience! And I remember with our first just bawling my eyes out, and repeating over and over, we have a baby girl honey!!
We found out with our third because I thought I couldn't wait, and it wasn't as exciting when he was born, as everyone knew he was going to be a boy. I also think I didn't cope with the pain of labour as much because I knew. I don't really "know" if that was a factor, but I think it was.
If I am lucky enough to have #4, I will definately not be finding out, although it is convenient to know before-hand.

[tegie2302]

Arvo ladies,

Well i think i might have just changed my mind. Maybe i wont find out after all.

it think it would be very special to have my DH say "awwwww honey we have a ???????" i would just cry so much.

rather than just know all along although it may be convienient it does not sound as special.

Also you ladies speaking from experience sounds like it just makes it so much more to look forward when you are going through all that pain.

Hmmm something to ponder about now.......

[jellyd]

You do what is right for you. I found out that both my girls were indeed girls and I know others who haven't found out.

If you are still undecided at the time of your scan, take an evelope, pick a nice card and get your sonographer to write it down and pop it in. That way, if you decide later (before the birth) that you really NEED to know then you can easy enough, and its another great little momento for your bub !

We are TTC again, and with 4 girls, we will be finding out again ! Even though DH says its a girl already - without even having our little bean yet !

Good luck !

[bubbasmum]

We are finding out this time around. It was nice to have the surprise first time around though. I guess I am a little worried of my reaction if i find out I'm having another boy though.

[my*lil*munchkin]

I am the most impatient person, but I have always said when I do get pg, that we wont find out the sex. I think I would be dying to know, but once I found out, that I would wish I hadn't! If that makes sense...
I don't think you could beat the feeling of finding out once bubs is born - just seems a bit more 'special' to me...:)
Does it really matter if bubs is in white/yellow/green for a the first few days, until you can buy some pink or blue clothes :p

[Bunnyhugs]

We won't find out :no: We didn't with DS and we won't with this one either. It was so wonderful speculating throughout the pregnancy what we would have. I said boy the whole way along and DH said girl. When DS was born I checked and said to DH 'told ya so!!!' :laughing:

Hope I can get it right this time too!

[BigRedV]

I found out what I was having when I was pg with DD. I really thought I was having a boy. I found it really easy to prepare room, clothes etc. and I told everybody it was a girl but not her name (we had to have one surprise for everyone.) I called her by her name when I was pg and found that I really bonded with her. A friend of mine found out with one and didn't with the other and found she bonded more with the one she knew the sex of. I got loads of lovely pink things for my baby shower which was great because before I knew she was a girl, I bought a few yeloow/green things. Once she was born, there was no way I was dressing her in any neutral colours.

In the end, it is up to you and your partner whether or not you want to find out. I think finding out the sex is good for people who may feel disappoinment if they really wanted a different sex to what pops out. A friend of mine juts found out today she is having her 4th boy and was a little bit upset by it but she has until August to prepare herself. Not that I think anybody loves their baby any less, it just helps if you have your heart set on one and it comes out different IYKWIM!

[iMischa]

it definately comes down to personal preference, i have found out both times via ultrasound...for me it was still a surprise for the first 20 weeks. i was just glad to know so i wasnt thinking about it ALL the time, plus...i wanted either very blue or very pink things! so much easier to prepare.

[misskittyfantastico]

We found out with DD, but didn't tell anyone. I had a tiny pink shirt that I packed for hospital - I couldn't trust the scan results 100%.

For number two, nup. It was magic. I won't find out again.

[bgbgbb]

I wanted to find out with my first as he wasn't planned and I felt that finding out the sex would help me identify with the baby better. It did.

No.2 had her legs crossed. Having the surprise at birth was really brilliant.

I found out with Nos. 3 & 4 and although it was great to know (I have no patience), it took a little away from the excitement at birth.

With No.5 (When it happens) I'm going to try and hold off so I can re-create that thrill of No.2's birth.

[Electric Rodeo]

I love finding out! I have done it with both boys and still feel it is a surprise even finding out pre-birth(though consistently get told by people I am ruining the surprise:() Dh and I are happy knowing and that is what matters.
I cried both times I found out from happinesss, came out of DS2's morph scan and DH who was in the waiting room watching DS1 thought something must have gone wrong:). I love having a name for them and knowing just adds to my excitement. We don't tell anyone else, just keep it to ourselves and will be doing it again in 5 weeks time at this bub's morph scan.
I'm counting down till my "surprise":yes:

Love the idea about writing it on a card as a PP suggested if you're unsure:thumbsup:

Also I have had friends who one parent finds out and the other doesn't. That would be a tricky one, keeping it from each other but they seem to have managed:D

[talia11]

We found out for 2 reasons:

I am a serious planner and couldn't stand the thought of not being able to buy girl/boy stuff before hand - there is only so much neutral stuff out there.

We were leaning towards wanting a girl (DH has a son already who lives with us) did not want to risk the thought of being even a little bit disapointed at the birth if it was a boy - that way we could plan for it (of course if it was a boy we would love it just as much).

As it turns out is is a girl - her legs were wide open at the U/S and very obvious she had no boy bits lol...

[RoarsomeMum]

the "let it be a surprise" line always made me a little :laughing: and :hair: all at the same time!!!!!

the SURPRISE for us was peeing on a stick and getting 2 lines!!!!!!!!! I was ALSO surprised at the delivery to have a live pink breathing bundle of joy placed into my arms. :goodvibes:

We found out what was between her legs simply cause we wanted to know. :thumbsup:

[greenflamingo]

I found out with DD and always thought that when i fell pregnant with number 2 i'd find out again, but after reading this thread i'm not so sure.

[ButterflyKissesX]

With DS we wonted the magical surprise the surprise that makes labour so much worth wild IMO OVERARTED :laughing: After 27 hours of labour I couldnt give a flying duck what sex my baby was I was exaughstered and over it we avctually forgot to look at what sex bubs was for abut 10 mins then my sister asked me what sex he was, so we checked.

This time Im DEFINATLEY finding out it has made my pregnancy so much more exciting and real I actually find out in 3 sleeps wooohooo So yes I am finding out and I think this time its going to be more exciting when we do no the sex and more then likley I will BAWL my eyes out either way of happiness!!!:hugs:

[tegie2302]

Well DH is still adament that he wants to know so i think we have made the decision that we will find out if we can.

We are happy either way but just impatient and want to know just BECAUSE!

Plus we will still have such a surprise at the birth and be looking forward to having the baby.

[Mischief]

I personally wouldn't find out, I think that would be the best surprise and a great incentive to get through all our hard work and pain :)
We didnt find out for these reasons. It was a great surprise, and made it all worth while! :)

[1983Bella]

I don't think I would be able to help myself. I have met some ladies who were told they were having a girl and when they gave birth it was a girl so I suppose they can never be 100% sure.

It's such a hard decision but I suppose when the time comes I will know what to do.

[BabyDreaming]

My mum was told that I was a boy. I must of had my finger down there :o So I guess you can't always be sure.
But that was back in the mid 80's and I'm sure technology has advanced.

Actually, now that I think of it, our neighbours across the road at my old house were told they were having a boy, but they had a girl. This was only a year or so ago too :detective:

[Pregnor]

My mum was told that I was a boy. I must of had my finger down there :o So I guess you can't always be sure.

Have you seen the ultrasounds from when you were a bub?? My dad found my 20week ultrasound when he was cleaning out the house when I looked at it, I couldnt even see a baby, let alone girl/boy bits!

[Silver_Lining]

I came into this thread knowing 100% what I was going to say..that Yes we will be finding out!!!

Then as I was reading through the posts I found myself feeling a little swayed. Especially the post about the tear running down he DH's eyes and the big anouncement that followed.... :bee:

However my reasons for finding out are the same... I feel like we will bond with the baby more knowing it is a he or she and being able to call it he or she accordingly.
I am the sort of person who relaxes A LOT more when I know what's going on and what to expect and because of this I feel like I personally will get through labour better knowing what's coming at the end! There is so much about pregnancy and birth that you can't control that I think this little thing would make it that much 'easier' and more enjoyable!

In saying that, I absolutely loved that card idea and think that this is something we might consider when the time comes closer. For now however my answer is still yes!

[Zalia]

I found out and had her name picked from the start. I loved being able to talk about her by name whilst pg, it made it feel like she was real & already a person iykwim. people kept telling me i ruined the surprise. but i can tell you having a little newborn and all that brings was a surprise enough!

[jimmysmummy]

I originally wanted to find out, but changed my mind and I'm soooooo glad. It was such a lovely surprise to her my mum scream out, "It's a boy!".