How has working impacted your relationship?

[Skittles]

I start work tonight. :smiliedance: Im so excited. But also a little bit worried about how this will impact my marriage. Dh and i are doing really well atm. However I am an aged care nurse. So its shift work. I will primarily be doing 5pm until 1230am and 1030pm until 7am so that i dont have to put the kids into day care more than twice a week. Dh gets home from work at 415. SO as he walks in the door i will be walking ot of it.... :( Does anyone else do this and is there anything u do to help keep your relationship on track?

[Skittles]

anyone?

[Luna Lovegood]

My DF does shidt work as well- he is a chef, and I work full time Mon-Fri business hours job...it's horrible, we never see each other.

BUT, our relationship has gotten better because we really value the little bits of time we have together. We make special "date" times when DD goes to her grandparents and we go out, or sit around watching movies and chatting.

Good luck.

[Jesska08]

as u know i do tafe at night as well as work during the day, So I dont see DP much at the beginning of the week.

I think its made our relationship better because i actually see a result of him doing things with the girls and around the house. its because he has to obviously. but makes me feel better that hes doing it!

and dont feel so annoyed about doing it at the end of the weekn because he did it at the beginning.

that and we miss each other so quality time is a bit better

[mim1]

I don't do shift work, but I do work full time and so does dh and we both have meetings in the evenings and sometimes have to work a shift on the weekend every now and again.

Making our relationship work takes plenty of hard work, so make sure you put that in to start with and you'll manage. It's not easy. Just finding time to sit down and discuss our holidays for the year has taken us 3 weeks so far and we're yet to pick a place to stay (we picked a location and flights a week ago). Actually planning time to spend together just chatting, and then more time for discussing 'issues' (eg. family budget) and then to also set time aside for a romantic evening (or lunch) together is very important. Make all that a priority :)

[~Bec~]

Well we always have a big pash just before we both go off to work. :o :p

[kath87]

Hi,
I work nights waitressing and my Df is a chippy and works during the day, I work between 2 and 5 shifts a week, sometimes DF and i dont even see each other because i normaly start at around 5pm and he doesnt get home untill 5.30 IYKWIM.
My advice would be that this can be hard at times but like every one alse has said you need to make sure that you have special time together when you can fit it in, make sure you dont become passing ships in the night, your hubby may be able to see you when you get home in the morning while he is getting ready for work its only a small amount of time but its better then nothing little things like this can really help you saty connected. It can feel like your one on one time with your Dp has been cut but as long as your both willing to put in extra effort it can also work really well. I hope this helped. By the way congrats on going back to work and good luck with it

[megrhae]

I really need to vent:ecomcity:.

I have just returned to work( Jan) after only 6 months mat leave. I have a 7 month old boy and a 3 year old girl.
I only work mon-wed but it is 8-5pm and i am still feeding.
My husband works shift work and is NEVER home. I really am starting to resent it but i find that i would be selfish to complain as i know the reasons why.
He works min 12 hrs a day either 7am-7pm or 7pm- 7am. He left this morning and is still not home.
Before we had kids we were doing great financially, one wage going to the home loan and the other we would live off. We both only worked a 38hr weeks.
Things were going well enough to buy an investment property.
With Emalee our first we could handle juggling childcare, work and money. We didn't get any family tax a or b from the goverment but where doing fine.
I didn't start work till 2pm and worked 5 days, so we had a sitter to come to us.

But now with the second things have become so much more expensive, they are both in childcare 3 days full rates which cost $442 per week. On top of 2 home loans and living expences there is nothing left and still we get nothing from the goverment.
In order to keep our heads above water my husband has to work all this O/T otherwise things could get messy.

But this has now sacfifised our relationship. By the time he gets home i am exausted from feeding, bathing cooking dinner,cleaning, putting up with a 3 years olds tantums, by the time he walks through the door i just want time to me.And that is on the days that i am not at work.

We would be lucky to see each other 3 hrs a day. And the kids are in bed when he gets home.
He is a great dad,and he has no choice but we dont really have a relationship, i'm allways tired and snappy.
Cracks are starting to show, we probalby are intimate once a week and last night while i was watching tv he was on the computer looking at porn. hmm.

It would of never really worried me before, men do this. But not usually while there wife is in the house.

I am starting to feel like a single mother rather than a wife.

[jalibali]

Dh and I are both teachers, so eventually we are hoping to have the same hours! At the moment DH works full time during the wk - till 5.30 two days a week as he teaches hospitality which is after school. I tutor every afternoon and then either work as a nanny till 8 or I teach at a coaching college, also till 8. I also work weekends at the coaching college.

I must admit its a bit crazy and we are a bit of a tag team. But DD doesn't have to go to childcare and spends two afternoons with her grandpa when DH or I are both working. I am doing my masters which takes up a lot of time.

I find that being super organised is definitely the key. When u are short of time it is really annoying having to run to the shops or iron clothes at midnight. So I have a meal plan for the week and I write out a shopping list for DH and send him to get everything. As well as the dinner plan, I also make sure there is enough stuff for lunch like ham, cheese, crackers, baked beans etc so we can whip up a quick lunch whenever necessary.

I also make sure as soon as it is sunny I do heaps of washing and I iron at night when DD is in bed and there is something on TV. Keeping ahead of the washing seems quite effective too.

I find working makes me a lot more sane, I really cannot be at home full time, I am just not suited to it. I find that when I am at home I begin to resent DH for being able to get out of the house. Its sounds terrible, but being a working mummy makes me much happier!

[daemynsmum]

i'm an aged care nurse too and my hubby is a plumber. whilst i work all shifts he works from 6:30am to 5pm so drops ds off and picks him up from childcare. as we are bringing in 6,000 a fornight together finances are easy and we have learnt to treasure thr time we get together nad with ds. hope it works as well for you as it has for us good luck with your new job.