Is it too much to ask???

[2girls&1boy]

I swore I would never post anything negative about my DH but at some point something is gonna give!!!!:mad:

Last night I made sure that the 3 kids were all fed & bathed, the washing up was done, toy room tidy so DH did not have to do too much when he got home. I was going to get my haircut (something that does not happen that often so I was really looking forward to it). Anyway all he had to do was have his dinner, put the plate in the dishwasher and manually wash up the pot & maybe a few other things 6 things tops!!!

He knows I hate waking up to a messy kitchen, he knows that the washing up gets done every night but do think the lazy so and so could be bothered doing it???? NOOOOOOOOOO nothing was done at all. :hair:

And to top it all off his argument was "well I didn't want to waste water washing up 5 things". Does he think I am stupid?? He doesn't worry about that when he spends however long in the shower?? I am so cranky at him still.....

I swear it is like we are in the 50's and he thinks it is "my job" to do everything as he earns the money:banghead:

Ok I am finished..........

[mum2bubba]

I hear ya. It is so annoying, you just ask them for a little bit of help, just to do a few things but they don't and then you end up getting cranky or mad because you have to do everything. :hair:

[jag5000]

I get annoyed even with the phrase "help me". It's not helping me... it's just keeping a house tidy together!
almost as bad as when a dad looks after the kids when mum goes out he's "babysitting"!!

grrr

I'd be going on a strike over the weekend 2girlssofar. Let him see just how much YOU work too!

[Hollywood]

DH is the same, and if he does wash up it is a total shock to me. I've stopped stressing about it, and although we have the same rule as you (all dishes done each night, wake up to tidy kitchen), if they don't get done once in a blue moon I let it slide because it's such a rare occurance.

One thing that helps me not get angry at that sort of thing is to remember that DH is away from DS from dawn until at least 8pm every weekday, so I don't expect him to do housework when he is home (though he does the laundry and garden maintenance - he won't actually let me use the washing machine).

I'd rather he spend is limited time at home actually playing with DS, and I figure I've got all day to do housework and it's not that hard to get it all done in the day time.

[mum2bubba]

I get annoyed even with the phrase "help me". It's not helping me... it's just keeping a house tidy together!
almost as bad as when a dad looks after the kids when mum goes out he's "babysitting"!!

grrr



I hate that too. It is PARENTING not BABYSITTING.

We had an argument a little while back and he kept saying that this was his house, because he works and I turned around and said "well, if this is your house bl00dy well clean it!"

[2made3]

OMG that is so my DH :no:. I feel you honey....

[kytysmum]

I get annoyed even with the phrase "help me". It's not helping me... it's just keeping a house tidy together!
almost as bad as when a dad looks after the kids when mum goes out he's "babysitting"!!

grrr

I'd be going on a strike over the weekend 2girlssofar. Let him see just how much YOU work too!

ohhhhh yeaaahhhh that "baby sitting" and "helping me out" annoys the hell out of me , wheather it comes out of dads or grandparents mouths or any family memeber haha :shame:

[2girls&1boy]

If it were once in a while I may let it slide but it seems to be happening more often these days.

No wonder I have no libido - I am too bloody tired looking after everything & everyone.:rolleyes:

Something has been unleashed as I am still carrying the anger today, I haven't even phoned him to see how is going today (I usually do every day) but I really don't feel like talking to him at the moment...:p

[Issey]

:eek: OMG if that is all you have to worry about your DH doing you really need to focus on the important things. It is not that big a deal surely that you would fight over it. Ok he could be a bit more considerate. But really dishes:confused:

[Bunnyhugs]

It's really frustrating!! DH has a terrible habit of dropping his clothes on the floor on his side of the bed - dirty ones as well as the stacks of folded clean washing I put on the bed but he's too lazy to put away :rolleyes: It got to me the other day so I spent a good hour or so in our room tidying up HIS mess and that night, I noticed more clothes thrown there :banghead: I asked him if they needed washing? 'no' was the answer. So I asked him to fold them and put them away - 'but they're not clean!' he says. To which I replied, 'if they're not clean, they need to be washed therefore put in the laundry! I didn't spend all bloody day cleaning up this room for you to come home and mess it up again!' Needless to say, the clothes went in the laundry.

It's not that the dishes haven't been done or clothes not put in the laundry or even his towel not being hung up after a shower - the point of it is that I work bloody hard to keep this place clean and tidy and the least he could do it try to pick up after himself so that my hard work isn't completely ruined. He wouldn't like it if I came to his workshop with an angle-grinder and cut up his latest welding job would he??? :banghead:


Whoa!! Sorry about that - hormonal pregnant b!atch got away from me there :o

[bubbasmum]

I feel for you. I know what it is like I go through this everyday with dh with most day to day tasks.
Obviously this is a big deal to the op or she wouldn't have wanted to vent. I dont think the issue is the "dishes" I think it is the fact that he just can't do a simple task that would take a few minutes to do.

[OJandMe]

Wow berni... you're game.

Hope that still works for you when the skidlets are trashing the house and fighting all day long. And you're pulling your hair out, haven't had time to cook, and they've just mashed banana into the carpet... AGAIN.... and then he gets home and doesn't even offer to wash up.... oh... and when you're that buggered.. you don't even care about the nookie. lol. (love that) you just wish he'd get up in the morning and deal with the tantrums over what cereal to eat, and clean up the rice bubbles that get pitched across the floor.

Anyway... enjoy it while you can hun...;)

[Bunnyhugs]

He has a full time job that he goes to and he deserves to be treated with the respect he deserves. If it wasn't for him going to work every day we couldn't live the lifestyle that we do and i appreciate that.


I respect my husband and his work, but he should also respect me and my work. I'm his wife, not his maid.

[Bunnyhugs]

berni - your husband is a very lucky man :laughing:

[mum2bubba]

I respect my husband and his work, but he should also respect me and my work. I'm his wife, not his maid.

Amen to that. :yelclap::yelclap::yelclap:

[mum2bubba]

My day starts at 4am when i wake up and vacuum the house. I then make up food for the day and put it in tupperware containers so that i can just chuck it on the stove to cook. I also do at least 1 load of washing while doing this. Then My husband and Son wake up at 7 and they have breakfast. I have to sit their feeding my DS with a spoon. In between all of this my DD has her morning bottle. I then get my 2 kids bathed and dressed and pack their bags and we go the the gym for 2 hours so i can work out. I don't want to be a flubby mummy. Then we come home and DS has morning tea and a nap until 2pm. While DS is having his nap i am training our new puppy. I then wake my DS up and feed him lunch. We then pack our afternoon bags and head to the hospital for my DS's appointments. We then come home and DS helps me get dinner ready. DS then has dinner and then we do art and crafts. Then DS has desert and then we go to the park for an hour to wear him out for bed. We come home and DS has supper and then into bed. DH has been home for 1/2 an hour by this stage and wants his dinner. We sit down and eat dinner and then i walk our dog. I then come home and spend time with DH until 10pm when we go to bed. In between all of this i look after my DD who is 9weeks old and born 7 weeks prem.

My DS has level 3 anaphylaxis so he cant eat any packaged food and he also has Autism.

Then i also add swimming lessons and music lessons in on weekends.

You sound extremely busy especially getting up at 4am. I would be wrecked if I had to do all that on my own. I understand that my partner (and yours) work but gee at least they get a break at lunch. I have kids who turn into seagulls when I try and eat. I don't get the housework finished until late at night sometimes just before I go to bed. :dizzy:

[mum2bubba]

Wow berni... you're game.

Hope that still works for you when the skidlets are trashing the house and fighting all day long. And you're pulling your hair out, haven't had time to cook, and they've just mashed banana into the carpet... AGAIN.... and then he gets home and doesn't even offer to wash up.... oh... and when you're that buggered.. you don't even care about the nookie. lol. (love that) you just wish he'd get up in the morning and deal with the tantrums over what cereal to eat, and clean up the rice bubbles that get pitched across the floor.

Anyway... enjoy it while you can hun...;)

So true.

[2girls&1boy]

:eek: OMG if that is all you have to worry about your DH doing you really need to focus on the important things. It is not that big a deal surely that you would fight over it. Ok he could be a bit more considerate. But really dishes:confused:


Thanks for your opinion on what I should focus on in MY life.

As a PP mentioned it isn't the fact that he didn't do the dishes it was more that I really work hard at keeping everything in order around the house and I was just after a bit of help on this occassion.

Berni - I agree with you, my DH works very hard and we are lucky enough for me to stay at home with the kids and live comfortably, once in a while though I get cranky and just need him to lift his game and me not have to beg him for help.

My tanty is over and we are all good again. :yes:

[gymmummy]

OMG I THNK SOME OF US HAVE THE SAME HUBBY"S lol:yelclap: i'm now hiring a dective as it sounds very simlair to mine- now i think his cheating on me lol

yep same his only job is to clean the kitchen- he packs the dishwasher and then leaves dishes in the sink! then he says he'll do them in the morning then in the morning he complains he has no time and is in a rush HELLLLO rather then watching 5hrs o nothing on tv get up during the nothing commmercail breaks and DO IT.
you never win!!!!!!!!

[Poppetfish]

Also maybe for the mum whose husband chucks his clothes on the floor. Why not buy another hamper and put it where his clothes end up?

[mum_I'm_hungry]

I am happy. My kids are happy. My husband is happy. What is wrong with this picture. Nothing.

What is wrong is that you seem to be thinking along the lines that this to work for everyone. It's great that it works for you, but it's not a formula you can apply and :wizard: you have a happy marriage.

I would be absolutely devastated if my husband couldn't step up to the plate and look after our kids and the house while I'm away at a conference etc.. It's not about respect, it's about being adults and being able to perform adult functions (cooking, cleaning etc.) and both of us parenting our two children. If he couldn't perform these tasks adequately I'd certainly question his ability as a father. After all, what would happen if I was hit by a bus? :confused: I'd like to believe the man I'm married to could bring up our children okay :confused:

[sockstealingpoltergeist]

In our house i get upset if my DH is even in MY kitchen. Last time he was in my kitchen he took my new biscuit tray (one of those really good ones that are non stick and you never have to use butter to grease them up) and put a steak on it and cooked on the stove top. He wreaked it.

It was my fault though for saying that he could cook.

In our house i think it is only fair that my husband has a clean house and happy kids to come home to. He never has to cook, clean, garden or do any domestic duties. He has a full time job that he goes to and he deserves to be treated with the respect he deserves. If it wasn't for him going to work every day we couldn't live the lifestyle that we do and i appreciate that.

Also this way everyone is happy. Less fights and better nookie!:thumbsup:
Wow I really don't think it's fair for one person to get some time off and the other none.

If it wasn't for my husband going to work everyday we couldn't afford our lifestyle either. However if it wasn't for me staying home doing my best at home everyday, he wouldn't be able to work either so it goes both ways.

I think it's very reasonable that I and anyone else who wants to expect a little respect from their husbands get's it.

Men arn't children they should be able to find a clothes hamper and do a few dishes.

My DH appreciates me much more then that however and he does alot of the haouse wor and child care when he is home, as we see it as a 50/50 thing when we are both there to deal with it.

[Bunnyhugs]

I am happy. My kids are happy. My husband is happy. What is wrong with this picture. Nothing.

You're right berni, there's nothing wrong with this picture - for you :) I'm not the kind of person who would be happy to get up at 4am just to get everything done. I'm also not the kind of person who would spend 2 hours at the gym everyday but that's cos I hate the gym LOL.

It's great that this works for you, but it wouldn't work for everyone.


Also maybe for the mum whose husband chucks his clothes on the floor. Why not buy another hamper and put it where his clothes end up?

HAHA been there, done that :yes: it doesn't make a lick of difference. But even if he DID put them in hamper, I'd still have to pick them up from the bedroom wouldn't I? Why can't he take them off at the bathroom door and put throw them a metre away into the laundry? Or even when he gets changed in the bedroom, he has to walk past the laundry to get to the living area of the house - as the thread title states, it's really not that hard LOL.

I love looking after my family, but if I was working in an office, I wouldn't just throw my rubbish on the floor under my desk for the cleaner to pick up when they came in at the end of the day would I? No. Because that's disrespectful and rude.

I'm not saying that the way you do things is wrong berni. If you're happy with the way things are, and it certainly sounds like you are, then good on you :thumbsup: It's great that you're happy. But the way you do things wouldn't work in my household.

[cmd'smum]

:eek: OMG if that is all you have to worry about your DH doing you really need to focus on the important things. It is not that big a deal surely that you would fight over it. Ok he could be a bit more considerate. But really dishes:confused:

I don't think that it's so much that he didn't do the dishes. I think it's more the principle of 2girls' DH starting to slack off with the house work. I guess she expects him to pull his weight when it comes to housework.

The strike idea sounds good to me :thumbsup:

[cmd'smum]

Wow I really don't think it's fair for one person to get some time off and the other none.

If it wasn't for my husband going to work everyday we couldn't afford our lifestyle either. However if it wasn't for me staying home doing my best at home everyday, he wouldn't be able to work either so it goes both ways.

I think it's very reasonable that I and anyone else who wants to expect a little respect from their husbands get's it.

Men arn't children they should be able to find a clothes hamper and do a few dishes.

My DH appreciates me much more then that however and he does alot of the haouse wor and child care when he is home, as we see it as a 50/50 thing when we are both there to deal with it.


:iagree:

I think lots of men would be shocked at how much work women do at home whilst they are at work.:yes:

[cmd'smum]

He did used to have one job which was mowing the lawn. It never got done. I now just give my next door neighbor some home made bread and a lasagna for him to do it.


hmmmm...good idea! :thumbsup::D