Surrogacy

[WeThree]

Hi girls, im not sure if this is the right spot to post this, but i wasnt sure where else to put it, so here it goes:
I have started to research the possibility of being a surrogate sometime in the future, I feel that I have been blessed with beautiful children and have had trouble free labours and I would love to give a couple that cannot carry a baby on their own the gift of a child. ( I am only interested in being a gestational surrogate) I am not jumping in to anything as I know this is a very iffy subject, especially in Australia and that is why I would love all you smart lovely bubhub ladies advice! I have become a member of a surrogacy website and I know I will recieve lots of help there, however I am keen to know of Australian womans experiences and opinions and I have yet to encounter any Aussies on this site, although apparently there are a few on there. Anyway looking forward to recieving lots of advice/opinions on this, thanks girls :)

[madvoice]

I think if you feel that you are emotionally strong and physically fit enough to become a surrogate then that's a very generous thing to do. I couldn't do it myself but I've seen documentaries of other women who have and they're giving the greatest gift to a couple who otherwise can't bear children.

[Kamaikia]

Its great that you are considering this. I have many friends who are unable to have children and can't afford ivf and it breaks my heart hearing them talk of there desire to have children. Personally i couldn't do it. I couldn't carry a baby and develop no attachment to it. And my other worry is this - a woman can be healthy, mentally and physically, she can brease through pregnancy but there are risks. The simple fact is some people die having babies, not many but it still happens- even here in australia. I wonder if it is selfish of a person to put there own childrens futures at risk to provide for a stranger? What would happen if there were complications, if you got sick if you were in bed for a majority of the pregnancy and lastly if you died - where would that leave your family? We all know that every pregnancy is different just because you've done it easily before doesn't mean the next time will be the same. Now I know it may sound like i'm against this - beleive me i'm not - I just worry that someone may do this without thinking of every possible outcome.

[WeThree]

hi, i agree with the last post, there are so many things to consider, most importantly the danger to yourself, and what that would mean to your own family, which is why im only in the cautionary stages of sussing this out atm, which is why i would love to know of peoples experiences both positive and negative, or any that you know of, thanks girls :)

[StormAngel]

Hi

I have to say that surrogacy is a great gift that can be given to someone!
I myself don't think that i could deal with the emotions!

But if you decide to go ahead with it then good luck and know that you are a wonderful person!

[maybe1more]

I have thought of it few times, as i have some realitives that cant have children and its so heart break to hear how unsuccessful they have been, years of trying ivf,fertility drugs, the list goes on. I could do it aslong as it wasnt my egg and obviously not my partners sperm, otherwise i know i would get emotionally involved because i know thats my baby, that looks like me and my partner. Otherwise i would consider it, what a beautiful gift to give another couple then a beautifull baby to complete there happiness.

[mimi]

WOW Erin! You are so brave to be even thinking of doing this! ...
I know I couldn't handle the emotional side of it [and anyway I am too old 'n' too tired for another pregnancy! LOL] but I too think it is a most wonderful thing to do for a couple! I also know of couples who are desperately tryng to have babies and can't - and it is sooo heart breaking. :( What a fantastic gift it would be indeed, to offer a family a chance to have the baby they so desperately want.

I can see all the negatives too, don't worry, but I suppose I think that it is such a noble thing to do, that the negatives sort of pale a little ... or maybe I'm just too idealistic, in thinking this could be a win-win situation :confused:

[WeThree]

nice to hear some positives thought on the subject, i am definetly only interested in being a gs (gestational surrogate-someone elses egg and sperm) basically they supply the ingredients and i'll supply the oven! seeing my sister and her husband really struggling with fertility problems was what started me thinking of this, although they still may very well be able to have a bubba all by themselves, i think if you find the right people as the parents it must be the most exciting, satisfying journey, i think im like you mimi in that i dont see how, if you are emotionally and physically able, that it could be anything but a win win situation for everyone involved :)

[Lallas' Mum]

Hi there Coopsntilly,

Just a couple of things that I thought of while on the subject.
Would you want further contact with the child? How will you give birth? Sometimes surrogate mothers have casareans as it is low risk to the baby and less emotional for the birthing mother (wouldn't know but this is just what I heard).
How would you tell your children? Do you think the will be okay emotionally? Children seem very attached to pregnant Mummys' bellies. Would you just not tell them and let them think you're just getting a little overweight or be completely honest?

Like I said they were just questions I thought of - sorry there are no answers attached!!

I think that if you could do this and your family be healthy throughout the situation than this is the ultimate gift for another couple.

Good luck in making a decision and take care

[WeThree]

hi tracy, ive been thinking alot about those questions as well, especially the birthing one, im really opposed to ceasers when a woman is capable of having a healthy natural birth, but it is such an emotionally, intimate thing to go through that i wonder whether it would be better to have a ceasarian if you are having some one elses child, what do others think? i think if and when i do it i would like to help a couple who lived not to far away so that we could have the occassional bbq together and i think i would like to see some photos from time to time, maybe be a bit like a fun aunty or something, because i think i could only do it for a couple that i felt a connection/good friendship with. ive also thought about how you would tell the kids as well, i think it would probably be best to be as honest as possible and explain that mummy is letting this baby grow in her tummy because the other people werent able to do it, but its not our baby, im only growing it for them or something like that(still thinking about that one, would cross that bridge when i come to it, hopefully god would guide me with the right things to say! :) ) there is so much to think about and find out with this sort of thing isnt there?