Childcare Versus Grandparents

[Misheycat]

Hi All,

This might be a strange question but I wanted to get a general perspective on this.

I am contemplating returning to work in the next couple of months part-time (I don't actually have a position to return to though my old work might be able to help me out) and my DD will more than likely be about 8-months old by this stage.

My mum has offered to look after DD as she doesn't work and dotes on her grand-daughter which to me personally is awesome as I trust her, she will have dedicated care and her milestones will be experienced by a loved one not a stranger and obviously a LOT cheaper (though I would want to give my mum something for this).

However my DH has suggested it may be beneficial for DD to have the social interaction with other people and kids (though 8-mths seems young?) and kinda inconvenient as we would need to travel out of our way to drop her off and pick her up (maybe an extra 15-20mins each way).

Regarding the social interaction how old do children need to be to benefit this and do you think my DH has a point?

[mim1]

Children that young do not need social interaction as such. She will still get social interaction with you and any of your family friends that have children - they don't pay much attention to other children til older than 3 really.

If there is the option of your mum looking after your dd, then I say go for it, it's 100% worth it.

I went back to work full time 13 months ago when my ds was 12 months old. Mum looked after my ds 3 days a week and my dh did the other 2 days. Now, this year, mum does 4 days and dh does 1. I would have needed to quit long ago if we'd had to rely on childcare.

If my ds is sick (which seemed to happen a lot especially early on!) mum could still have him (I didn't need to take carer's leave because he couldn't go to childcare). If I had to stay back at work unexpectedly (which happened quite a few times) then it was no big deal for mum if I was 15 minutes late, but if that was childcare it would have cost me a large amount of money and made the staff grumpy. Mum also ran errands for me, like getting my ds's hair cut, filling prescriptions for his med's (especially if he got an ear infection), taking him to the doctor/audiologist, etc.

Yes, it does take us 15 - 20 minutes each way to collect him (but mum does the morning pickups 3 days a week), and that is frustrating, but with the benefits not such a big deal really. Mum hasn't been too sick to have my ds at all, so that hasn't been an issue. Mum & Dad do like to take holidays and finding someone to care for him during those times has been challenging, but manageable. I constantly check with mum to make sure I'm not asking too much of her (one of my concerns), but she loves it and my ds loves his time with his 'mama'.

I say let your mum do it, at least for a day or two a week, if not the whole week. She may want to take her to a music group for kids or gymbaroo, or similar just for fun too.

Send me a PM if you have any more questions :)

[Seekrit]

At such a young age socialisation isn't needed. She'll get all the socialisation she needs from you and from grandma! (Friends over, other grandies, going to the shops etc)

Large herds of other children-socialisation isn't important at all for a long time. :) I wouldn't worry about that until at least 3ish honestly.

[KatiesMum]

At such a young age socialisation isn't needed. She'll get all the socialisation she needs from you and from grandma! (Friends over, other grandies, going to the shops etc)

Large herds of other children-socialisation isn't important at all for a long time. :) I wouldn't worry about that until at least 3ish honestly.

:iagree: :yes::yes::yes:

[NibbleCurlynBub]

When it comes to both care and education, I would ALWAYS choose a one-on-one experience for my children (or in their case a one-on-three) rather than being put into an 'institution'.

The interaction your little one will get, plus the security and the bond she will develop in time with your mother will be irreplaceable and IMO can't be created in an institutional environment. :no:

There will be PLENTY of time for your little one to socialise, she has the rest of her life! The infant years when they really crave and need security and stability also need to be considered.

[Refresh]

I defiantely think Grandma is the way to go :thumbsup: Your bubba will be with someone who genuinely cares for her :goodvibes: and knows her. Maybe your mum could take her to a playgroup or something too?

[forbetoel]

I defiantely think Grandma is the way to go :thumbsup: Your bubba will be with someone who genuinely cares for her :goodvibes: and knows her. Maybe your mum could take her to a playgroup or something too?

:iagree:As always...well nearly always, but we won't go there.:p

[Refresh]

:iagree:As always...well nearly always, but we won't go there.:p

:detective: LOL.

[Misheycat]

Well you've all pretty much set my mind on this and I will definitely try and convince DH when the time comes. The only concern I personally have is my mum doesn't drive (though she's in a metro area and is near public transport) so in an emergency situation this could be an issue, plus I would more than likely be 30-40mins away if I was to get another job in the city.

My MIL (who lives in another state mentioned this on the phone last time I spoke with her and put all her kids in childcare) was also all for childcare and had a big spiel about the social interaction as well being essential :rolleyes:.

[NibbleCurlynBub]

Meh, who cares what MIL says.

Mine says some pretty nasty things to me, but who cares.

I didn't drive at first either. Just make sure she had emergency numbers handy, plus the number of a friend or relative that can help out or chauffeur her if its minor.

[MsMummy]

As per the other thread, I'm (obviously) not anti-childcare but would take the grandparent option at that age if it was available, and then maybe a good quality kindy program or someting when they get to the social stage (2 or 3?).

The grandparent option is also better for you as it's cheaper and they can be a bit more flexible.

I just wish I had a grandparent within 200km!

[mim1]

A car isn't such an issue, if it means the one on one interaction. My ds loves trains and buses :)

[PunkyDiva]

I am about to become a Grandma and will be looking after my grandchild whilst my DD completes her schooling and then Uni. I would be gutted if she decided to put bub in daycare when I am here, capable, available and more then happy not to mention privileged to share in my grandchild's life.
I do drive but prefer to walk or use public transport so am sure your Mum will be fine. Plenty of mum's around that don't drive including my DD.

[Mischief]

Take the Grandma option. If your mum is anything like mine, she will spend time trying to teach your bub things anyway. Mum has flash cards for Oliver, and does heaps of interactive things with him that I never seem to have the time to do.

Plus, you wont have a sick baby all the time. ;) Childcare is notorious for spreading colds! LOL

[Misheycat]

I am about to become a Grandma and will be looking after my grandchild whilst my DD completes her schooling and then Uni. I would be gutted if she decided to put bub in daycare when I am here, capable, available and more then happy not to mention privileged to share in my grandchild's life.
I do drive but prefer to walk or use public transport so am sure your Mum will be fine. Plenty of mum's around that don't drive including my DD.

This is another reason why I'd love my mum to look after DD, I know if I chose childcare over her this would be the biggest insult to her :(. My dad works not TOO far from home so he could also be an emergency contact for mum so I guess that's an option as well.

[Refresh]

I would love to have a mum that was that interested in my children.....whoops did I say that out loud? :o

I think you are very blessed :goodvibes::goodvibes:

[NibbleCurlynBub]

I would love to have a mum that was that interested in my children.....whoops did I say that out loud? :o

I think you are very blessed :goodvibes::goodvibes:
Oh, you SO did.

But that's ok... I would love that too. :o

[chameleon]

I'd go with the grandparent option too!:yes: She doesn't need to socialise just yet! My DD has never been to daycare- she will just be going straight to kindy. Nothing wrong with that IMO.

[Misheycat]

Actually I'm already building up my argument next time DH and I discuss work :) Today he mentioned (he's currently looking for a new job so my working is dependent on him) that it would be great for me to start working part-time a couple months after he is settled.

Currently I'm enjoying being a SAHM and feel uncomfortable about leaving her for work, and I'm thinking if he's more keen for me to return then perhaps I can say I'm happy to on the term that my mum looks after her as I'm uncomfortable about childcare at such a young age.

:yes: Yep that's what I'll do.

[chameleon]

Actually I'm already building up my argument next time DH and I discuss work :) Today he mentioned (he's currently looking for a new job so my working is dependent on him) that it would be great for me to start working part-time a couple months after he is settled.

Currently I'm enjoying being a SAHM and feel uncomfortable about leaving her for work, and I'm thinking if he's more keen for me to return then perhaps I can say I'm happy to on the term that my mum looks after her as I'm uncomfortable about childcare at such a young age.

:yes: Yep that's what I'll do.

Good idea!:thumbsup::D

[NibbleCurlynBub]

If you really don't want to go back to work, you could also strike up a different bargain with him, one where you will both discuss work again when she is a toddler or something like that.

If you really don't want to and don't desperately need to work, it would be very unfair of your hubby to force you to.

You may end up resenting him for it, your DD will only be this young once.

[Refresh]

Actually I'm already building up my argument next time DH and I discuss work :) Today he mentioned (he's currently looking for a new job so my working is dependent on him) that it would be great for me to start working part-time a couple months after he is settled.

Currently I'm enjoying being a SAHM and feel uncomfortable about leaving her for work, and I'm thinking if he's more keen for me to return then perhaps I can say I'm happy to on the term that my mum looks after her as I'm uncomfortable about childcare at such a young age.

:yes: Yep that's what I'll do.


Sounds great. Follow your heart :goodvibes:

[aquarius]

hey misheycat

this thread may have already run its course but just wanted to throw a couple of things out there for you to think about - these may not be an issue for you at all so pls ignore if they're not relevant, but these are some issues that came up with my mother (my DD's grandma) looking after my DD:

- do you and your mum have a good strong relationship? there will be times when you disagree over DD's feeding, sleeping, behaviour that's allowed (yes i know she's only 8 mths old but she'll be a toddler before you know it!) etc - if you have a good relationship with your mum where you can give each other suggestions and feedback and requests without anyone getting upset, it's all good.

- can your mum give your DD the stimulation she needs as she gets older? right now probably not an issue but as she gets to 1 year and above she will need to go out to the park or the back yard, run around, have outings to the shops etc, just to have some stimulation. my mother is not very active and does not drive or like to walk anywhere with the stroller so consequently my DD stayed indoors watching DVDs all day until i put her into daycare 2 days per week (but she was 20 mths, a lot older than your DD).

i know your bub is only 8 months old but these are things to think about for the future if you choose to keep the grandma-care arrangement going.

and just to add yes i completely agree with everyone else about fewer illnesses and snotty noses when bub is not in childcare! and it is a huge bonus to have a family member you know and trust looking after your DD. it's wonderful to see that bond grow between baby and grandparent. and as someone else said, if you need to work late or car/bus breaks down or some other crisis strikes, grandma care is much more flexible than a daycare centre.