what age is the best age to put baby into childcare?

[trickylee]

Hi

When did you put your baby into childcare and why and was it a positive experience?

Im thinking of putting bub in one day a week at about 8-9 months so i can work.
I do have other options ( another story but not what I want ) but Im gearing that it can benifit the childs development and they do wonderful things these days and she gest to see that the whole world does not revolve around mummyy!
other babies and carers....who can interact with her...

Any positive or negative feed back would be welcome.

[NibbleCurlynBub]

Hmmmm the whole 'childcare is good for social interaction' is a bit of a debate still.

I personally do not believe that it would be a good idea solely for social reasons.
In most cases, I don't believe that childcare can deliver a better experience or environment than a loving parent can.

But if you plan on going back to work for one day a week and have found a centre you love and trust, then I can see no downside. :)

[little bean]

I was always against putting a baby into daycare but, due to unforseen circumstances, DD had to start daycare 2 days a week from 10 months onwards. I believe it was a good age for her to start as she was not at all worried about being separated from me at that point.

She cried when she was around 15 months old - but only when I left and when I arrived (she cried for about 5 minutes and was happy the rest of the day). When I'd go around the corner to put her nappies away, sometimes she would think I had left and she would already be happily playing.

If you can find a centre you like and trust, then give it a go. I really believe it was good for my DD - gave her confidence, taught her to interact with other children and listen to other adults. Most importantly, she has learned that mum leaves but always comes back - and we haven't had separation anxiety when leaving her with grandparents etc. She has become a real little social butterfly and is developing beautifully.

I also feel more comfortable with her at daycare (where everything is babyproofed) than having her looked after by someone at home. There are so many hazards - choking, crossing roads, drowning etc.

On days I'm not working, I pick her up early so she only spends a few hours there. When I'm working, she stays a bit longer.

I don't think it would be a good idea to put a toddler into care 5 days a week (if you have a choice), but I think a couple of days would be fine.

If you do decide on daycare, it's a good idea to have a few days of settling in - spend a few hours there with your child but don't leave, the next couple of times only leave him there for a couple of hours... That way, they can get used to it and it's not a big shock.

Best of luck. Do what's best for you and your family and don't worry about what anyone else thinks. :hugs:

[LibranTwin]

My DD started child care at 6 1/2 months, she does 3 x 6.5hr days while I go to work. For both of us it has been a completely positive experience!!!

I love being back at work and only doing three 6hr days... the time away from home is great for my sanity and only 3 days at work goes really quick and of course the money helps - that is why i went back :yes:

I stressed a lot about childcare, as I am guessing most people do. But my DD is and always has been very sociable, from day one at childcare she didn't/hasn't cared less when we drop her off. She loves crawling around everywhere and playing with all the toys and she is very cheeky and has all the carers in love with her. I'm sure she will go through some separation anxiety in the future but she knows her carers well now so it should be ok.

I like the fact that my DD is now used to other people looking after her, she didn't really have that previously. I also love the centre she is at, they have very structured days and often have different activities on different days. Like bringing in water containers and playing with toys in the water etc. They also take photos during the day and write up a sheet with what the kids did for the day. The kids also have their own folders that get updated with new activities they have done and photos etc.

I think you just need to find a centre you are comfortable with. I know with my centre that DD is getting a lot of attention from the carers and also that she is doing extra activities that she generally wouldn't do with me :)

[mum2bubba]

I have recently put Skye into occasional care (shes 21 months) she has only been there one day so far but they said she settled in really well. I wish I had of put Hayley into occasional care at her age but I never did (oh well). I think its good for some babies and toddlers and children to be in daycare/occasional care etc maybe one day a week (or more if you want) so it gives you a break (especially if you don't have family and friends around to help). Personally, I don't think I would put my own kids in daycare (or any sort of care apart from family/close friends) under the age of 1 (unless I absolutely had to) but thats just me. Maybe I might feel differently when baby # 3 comes along. Its only a decision you (as the mother) can make. You know what is going to make you and your child happy.

When Hayley was a baby/toddler she was easy to look after so I didn't really need to put her into daycare or whatever (maybe only for her to socialise) I was going to put her into an occasional care center near the house we used to live in (when she was about 2) but I never got around to it and we ended up moving. I wish I had of as it was just one day (not even a full day) a week and quite cheap. Like I said, Skye is in occasional care now and I am pretty sure this next baby (when he/she is maybe 1 year old or 2 years old) will go in there too, but we'll see what happens.

[bubbasmum]

My ds started at my daycare at 5 months old. I have always thought this was too young but I had no ther alternative. In saying that he has benifited greatley and he HAS benefited immensely socially. He is 2 now and is such a happy child and has formed a strong bond with all of his carers. I dont think there is a "right age" it should be what you feel is right for you and your child.

[delirium]

This is JMO, but I wouldn't place child in CC under 2 years, 3 years old for a boy. At 9 months they aren't really old enough to understand social interaction with other children.

I'm not bagging mums whoput their kids in CC early, sometimes you have to work and you have to put them in CC. Just for me personally though, I would prefer to be broke for a few years and have them home. The time before school is so fleeting (DD is going to primary next year and it's tearing my heart out).

[Refresh]

This is JMO, but I wouldn't place child in CC under 2 years, 3 years old for a boy. At 9 months they aren't really old enough to understand social interaction with other children.

I'm not bagging mums whoput their kids in CC early, sometimes you have to work and you have to put them in CC. Just for me personally though, I would prefer to be broke for a few years and have them home. The time before school is so fleeting (DD is going to primary next year and it's tearing my heart out).

I am the same Delirium :yes: but I would probably up the ages to 5 :D

[NibbleCurlynBub]

I am the same Delirium :yes: but I would probably up the ages to 5 :D
:iagree: But even then I probably wouldn't do it. :o

[Refresh]

Tehee, ideally I wouldn't either :no:

[em1984]

I worked in childcare, and personally, I wouldnt put my child in till AT LEAST 18 months...Its actually been said that a child doesnt benefit at all until they are at least 2. For me, i would prefer to have a family member care for them. The only reason i would do it younger is if I HAD to go back to work and If they could be at the same place, if i had no other options...But at this stage Im lucky enough that we probably wont have to worry about me going back to work...That's just my opinion and I know some dont have any other options, in which case i say research research research and choose a centre you feel completely comfortable with and has your childs best interests at heart, not their profits....Noah will be getting enough social interaction from things like gymbaroo, playgroup, swimming lessons, catching up with friends etc...

[Noah_and_Elijah]

I put DS1 into daycare 2 days per week at 18 months old, purely for social interaction.

I will put DS2 into care 2 days per week at 18 months also (for the same reasons).

[aprileviesmum]

My DD went to childcare 2 days a week at 14 months and she LOVES it.
It is really important to find a childcare that you like and trust and that your child likes as well.

[Amara]

My son started at 7 months. He's 8 months now. He loves it and loves his carers.

Of course they get social interaction out of it - they are surrounded by other babies that they play with throughout the day. They also get to learn to deal with other carers other than yourself.

I personally believe my son is getting great attention whilst there. The carers don't get distracted by phone calls, the internet, the TV, housework & cooking etc.

My son has already done some lovely artwork, painting with stamps, gluing things on & using glitter. I know I would never have dreamt to try art so young but he sits up in the high chair and does it with the carers help. If he was at home he'd just be sleeping, eating, crawling, playing with toys and walking along furniture.

They also encourage singing and dancing with the group which is also great fun for the kids.

I say go for it at around the time you are intending to.

Just wanted to add that I was one of those women who didn't think I'd ever find a day care place that would live up to my expectations and that I would never feel comfortable leaving him there. How wrong I was. I loved it from the moment I walked in & so did he. It's not an ABC.

[Lilyloo]

This is JMO, but I wouldn't place child in CC under 2 years, 3 years old for a boy. At 9 months they aren't really old enough to understand social interaction with other children.

I'm not bagging mums whoput their kids in CC early, sometimes you have to work and you have to put them in CC. Just for me personally though, I would prefer to be broke for a few years and have them home. The time before school is so fleeting (DD is going to primary next year and it's tearing my heart out).

:iagree:

[forbetoel]

I don't think that childcare has any benefit at all for a baby, and cetainly not any social benefit.

Babies benefit socially from going to the supermarket, to mothers group, at the coffee shop and even just plain old interaction from family and friends.

I would avoid it if at all possible at such a young age.

[~Bec~]

If you need to put you child into CC for work then I think that's fine. :) James has been in full time CC since he was 8 months. It tore my heart out every day but I had no choice. :( Whilst I don't think he benefited from social interaction when he was that young he was given things to do all day that kept him active and stimulated (eg painting in various forms, messy play, obstacle courses etc). Now at 20 months he is just starting to interact with the other children.

[forbetoel]

:hugs: for you Becs999. :hugs: And i think you have given the OP realistic advice from one working mother to another. :thumbsup:

[MsMummy]

My son is five months. He's been going to FDC for two days days a week (8am to 5.30pm) since he was three months.

He is the only young baby there on those days. The other kids are all running around and doing other things.

I won't pretend that I did it for his benefit or that it's better care than at home, but I don't think (overall) it's worse care. I do believe in the socialisation rationale though for when he's older.

He's a very active inquisitive baby and the FDC will often put him in a rocker or a swing and he watches the other children. He enjoys all the noise and activity. She also does the normal development activities with him.

The only concern I have is with sleeping and crying. I put him to sleep very gently but I think he cries a little while he's there. I've accepted that this may happen in any childcare due to the ratio of carers to children.

I put him in care to work because I needed to be back in a situation where I was "in control" and being at home was driving me crazy. I wish I enjoyed looking after a baby full time more, but I don't. My partner studies full time, and works part time so we also enjoy the extra money. I don't use to buy expensive cars or consumer items, but do enjoy not feeling as stressed about money (ie. being able to pay the mortgage) and being able to go on little family trips away sometimes.

I try and compensate for it by being as attentive as I can to him when I'm with him, including sleeping in a family bed to help avoid any attachment problems.

Sorry, this was far longer than I intended. I guess I just wanted to point out that feelings and reasons for childcare are varying and often complex.

Just in case there's any doubt, I have huge respect for FT SAHMs. It's an incredibly hard job, and one that I couldn't do.

Good luck with your decision.

[Tici]

I definitely wouldn't put a child in CC under 18 months old.
When babies are parted from those they know and love they cannot soothe themselves with the image of your return.
When you are gone, you are gone - full stop. This can feel immeasureably sad to a baby.

[Chunkydunks]

This is JMO, but I wouldn't place child in CC under 2 years, 3 years old for a boy. At 9 months they aren't really old enough to understand social interaction with other children.

I'm not bagging mums whoput their kids in CC early, sometimes you have to work and you have to put them in CC. Just for me personally though, I would prefer to be broke for a few years and have them home. The time before school is so fleeting (DD is going to primary next year and it's tearing my heart out).

I've heard many experts say this.

In saying that though every child is different. DS was 2.5 and we were living in a small 2 beddy flat with no yard or balcony. Biscally he was inside most days. The days he wasn't we were at the shops or we'd take him to the park a few suburbs away once a week or sometimes 2 time. We decided to check out the local CCC and both times we went in there before I signed him up he just wanted to be involved in everything and really wanted to interact with all the kids. Even after we moved we kept him in because he was doing better developemently. Now he's doing school readiness. Couldn't be happier with our decision to start him when we did.

[Misheycat]

BUGGER I just posted a similar thread to this one, oops :) Ah wells mine is grandparents versus childcare and DH's pro-childcare stance, so maybe its a little different...regardless sorry for kinda doubling up :o

[MsMummy]

I definitely wouldn't put a child in CC under 18 months old.
When babies are parted from those they know and love they cannot soothe themselves with the image of your return.
When you are gone, you are gone - full stop. This can feel immeasureably sad to a baby.

I agree about the potential sadness - from my understanding, babies have no concept of temporary verus permanent so they don't know that you're ever coming back (not sure what age they develop it).

But do you think the baby can know and love a family day care mum? It's the same carer every week at her house and I hope to continue it until he's ready for a kindy program. He sees her more often than his grandparents (who live several hours away). For attachment purposes, is it any different than leaving the baby with a grandparent?

I don't know the answer in my case yet as my son hasn't reached the stage where he shows any preference for a carer.

I'm not looking to justify my situation as I've made my decision but I'm interested.

[cja]

activities with him.

I wish I enjoyed looking after a baby full time more, but I don't. I don't use to buy expensive cars or consumer items, but do enjoy not feeling as stressed about money (ie. being able to pay the mortgage) and being able to go on little family trips away sometimes.

I try and compensate for it by being as attentive as I can to him when I'm with him


Just in case there's any doubt, I have huge respect for FT SAHMs. It's an incredibly hard job, and one that I couldn't do.

Good luck with your decision.
:iagree:

I am exactley the same - I always feel reassured to find someone who feels the same as me here because I feel there is a fair bit of criticism for people who make the choices we have...

[iMischa]

children under the age of 2 prefer to be with their mothers, if this isnt possible due to work circumstances then of course u do what u hafto do!

But if its a social thing, children under 2-(3 some boys) dont really play WITH' kids rather than beside them, and will just adopt to the carers as a second mummy figure

i put ds into childcare when he was a little over 3, purely because he was having no interaction with other children at all and would run in the opposite direction if one came near him hehe. not to mention he was lacking in his speech department and wouldnt have a bar of the potty. the first day he went i called them 1.5 hours later to check on him "oh hes doing great, he's done a wee on the toilet as well' he has really flourished by being in daycare, his confidence level, his speech,etc and im greatful for it.

but i know he wouldnt have coped if i had of put him in any earlier, he had been sewn to my hip since birth lol.

[zenifa]

This is always a hard decision for any parent and it does depend on your circumstances.

Research is increasingly showing (let me know if you want any citations) that for children under the age of 2yrs old, being in child care for 30 hrs or more a week, that they show signs of stress, ie increased cortisol levels.

I think that if you can find good quality child care (either via a centre or family day care), it can be beneficial for a child, from the age of 2 or 3, for social and developmental reasons.

Long day care isn't seen as being as good for kids, but I understand a lot of people don't have any other option for social (ie no family around) or financial reasons.

In our case, we did try out daycare 2 days/week for 5mths last year with DD1, when she was 2.5yrs old. She had a good experience, but we decided that it was better for her to be at home with me and her baby sister. We were lucky that we had choices ie I didn't have to work and we could (just) manage financially.

Good luck in making a decision that is right for you and your child.

[korina]

:iagree:

I am exactley the same - I always feel reassured to find someone who feels the same as me here because I feel there is a fair bit of criticism for people who make the choices we have...

:iagree:too.

I have just started DS1 in daycare one day a week (trying to get a second day at the moment) but I don't use the time off to work.

I use the day to spend solely with my DS2 and give him the one-on-one uninterrupted attention that my DS1 got for 2.5yrs. In return, my DS1 gets to run around with the other kids and play all day. He LOVES it and asks to go to daycare EVERY DAY!!

I also feel that mums cop a lot of criticism for using daycare. I don't think anyone is in a position to judge what is best for another family or their kids, no matter what the research says. Family situations and the child (and his/her needs) are very different.

Some kids are easy, and some are HARD.

Anyway, I'm off topic (sorry to OP!) .. just wanted to add my two cents....

[princess niamh]

There is no good age.

Daycare is a part of our lives these days.
I totally understand some parents need daycare to survive.

BUT I wish people would stop trying to say babies or small children need daycare.

[NibbleCurlynBub]

There is no good age.

Daycare is a part of our lives these days.
I totally understand some parents need daycare to survive.

BUT I wish people would stop trying to say babies or small children need daycare.
:iagree:
To say that they need to go because of social this and that and shouldn't be attached to Mum or Dad or whatnot... I just hate hearing it.

Its a fantastic resource, but to say that babies need to go when the parent is perfectly happy, capable and wants to look after bub is just silly.

[Refresh]

There is no good age.

Daycare is a part of our lives these days.
I totally understand some parents need daycare to survive.

BUT I wish people would stop trying to say babies or small children need daycare.

:iagree: Well said luv!

[mum2peanut]

My DD1 started at 10 months when I went back to work part time, she goes one day a week, mum had her one and my sister the other.
AT that age, she was fine, she was a little sad the first few times we left her, but otherwise settle in really quick.
Last year we changed daycare centres due to new owners taking over ours and being crapola. She was 2 and the transition was fantastic. I think because she'd been in care she was used to it.
She loooves daycare, she would go everyday if she could. She talks about her friends at school and loves the teachers. The whole experience has been very positive. I'm actually thinking about sending her a 2nd day when I go back to work and mum can just have DD2.
I think starting that bit earlier made it easier on her. I've got friends whose kids have started later, and they've really struggled with it.
I know kids don't need daycare but I know DD1 has benefitted from it, she really has blossomed and the thing she's learnt at school are amazing.
Don't feel guilty about sending your bub if that's what you want to do, there's always going to be people who judge you or tell you it's wrong. But you do what works for you and your child/ren.

[Tici]

I agree about the potential sadness - from my understanding, babies have no concept of temporary verus permanent so they don't know that you're ever coming back (not sure what age they develop it).

But do you think the baby can know and love a family day care mum? It's the same carer every week at her house and I hope to continue it until he's ready for a kindy program. He sees her more often than his grandparents (who live several hours away). For attachment purposes, is it any different than leaving the baby with a grandparent?

I don't know the answer in my case yet as my son hasn't reached the stage where he shows any preference for a carer.

I'm not looking to justify my situation as I've made my decision but I'm interested.

It's not until about 18 months they can grasp the concept that you will return.
I think a baby may be able to feel somewhat comfortable with a daycare worker or nanny but rememebr from the day they are born, your baby becomes attached to your face, to the contours of your body and to your smell.
Even the most loving carer cannot replicate the feel of you, the smell of you.

[NibbleCurlynBub]

:yes: Its called object permanence and it does take a while to develop.

[Penthesilea]

I'd recommend waiting until they can move away from people they don't like. And be able to say no.

[MsMummy]

That may be the case, but there are studies that conclude that childcare doesn't affect a baby's attachment, and if they have good attachment, it indicates their needs are being met.

I think the study said that the key factor to good attachment was maternal sensitivity when the mother and baby are together.

In saying that, there are studies that support lots of arguments re childcare.

My wish is that every mother has the right and opportunity to do what makes her happy and brings out her full potential. For some people, that is staying home full time, for others it's part time work or study, for others it's full time work or study. As long as the child is not (overall) worse off, I don't see why women can't do what they want. I think to ensure children aren't worse off we need more support: paid maternity leave, flexible work arrangements, better quality of childcare (ie. smaller ratio of carers to children). I know it sounds expensive to the government but surely ending up with happy and healthier families would be worth it.

[em1984]

a little off topic but in regards to your post msmummy, there are due to be new laws brought in soon where ratio's will be MUCH better. I cant tell you off the top of my head but i think its going to be about 1:2 or three in babys and toddlers rooms and 1:4or 5 for the older kids, again thats off the top of my head so dont quote me :D. I know that where i worked there will now be 3 carers to 9 kids in the babies room and toddlers room and i think 4 or 5 to 25 kids in the kindy rooms. there is also going to be new rules gradually brought in where all staff will need to hold a diploma in childcare (which personally i think is great!). So quality of childcare should, hopefully, gradually improve. It will also move to come under education (government-wise, funding etc) so they are finally starting to see the importance of having good carers in childcare as well as recognising that it isnt just 'glorified babysitting' and that it is important to raise the standard of care the children are getting...

[tracynben]

i personally dont think there is a right or wrong age. Prob after 3 months though.
I believe you have to do what is going to make u and bub happier, for some mums thats staying at home, for others its going out to work.
I dont think there is anything wrong with either decision, as long as the family is happy, and if ur working u still spend plently of time with bub then thats fine.

tracy xxxxx

[naiwen]

I think that it can be socially beneficial from 3, possibly 2 for girls who's speech and social development tends to be more advanced.

If the mum is isolated or unable to find a playgroup etc then a little time with peers in CC is no bad thing IMO.

I wont take babies under 3m in my care becuase I firmly believe they should not be in a strict routine or away from their mum before then.

Unless it was exceptional circumstances.

Anyway ideally 3 I would say.

[Maybelline]

benifits from childcare can be interaction with other babies..they get other germs from kids which is a fantastic way to build there immune system..studies are showing the more bugs your babies get at young age..the less likely to be struck down with major disease and illness later in life..also doing research about exposing babies/kids to germs..to fight of cancer when adult...hope that makes sense..very tired first time mum here!!!!

[MsMummy]

a little off topic but in regards to your post msmummy, there are due to be new laws brought in soon where ratio's will be MUCH better.

Thanks for that info. That's fantastic that they're looking at ratios. I always wondered how one carer looks after 4 young babies at a time - you would just be running from one to the next changing nappies and feeding!

My advice to the OP is to spend as much time as possible at any prospective centre. i went to one centre that wasn't very nice. The carers looked like zombies and were just kind of staring blankly while feeding the babies.

Then when I went to the FDC's house, it was completely different. It was more like a family. I spent an hour there just watching, and it was lovely. And she really likes him. She's had some kids from little babies until prep and they are really attached to her. yes, I've had worries about certain issues but overall I don't think it's detrimental to him at all. I just can't see much difference between her looking after him versus a grandparent.