have you changed your child's surname?

[faroutbrusselsprout]

Through the court system, without consent from the other parent, for the sake of a "the child's best interest"?

[Noah_and_Elijah]

My DP and I are planning on getting married in the future (last thing on my mind atm) and when the time comes, if my 2 boys want to change their surname (my DP is not their Father) then I will go through the court system to request their change of name.

My ex (FOB) would never allow the name change so court is the only option but I would only do it if it was something that they wanted to do. Their name is who they are and I would never take that away from them without their consent.

[Cicho]

Through the court system, without consent from the other parent, for the sake of a "the child's best interest"?


No I haven't, but I would be interested to know :)

I have printed out the "change of name-child" forms from Births, Deaths and Marriages website and it looks quite straightforward, but I have to wonder if it really is as simple as filling out a form?

I too have remarried and my child has zero contact with the birth father, although he does pay child support through CSA... :)

[Jo_Jo]

In my experience you can,t just change it and depends on whats on the birth certificate as well, my daughter wanted to change hers when she was 13 to my maiden name but i had to get her father to sign if i wanted to do it all legit....when they hit 16 it can go to court and be done without the other parent but alot of mumbo jumbo to deal with and when they hit 18 they can do it themselves as long as they have originial birth cert.
My daughter just went under my name anyway when she started secondary school and she is in the process now of it being all done legally but i left it up to my children what they wanted there names to be and i found around the age of 13 to 14 was when it was brought up in conversation.

[DALLASMUM]

My DD is 10 and she wants to change her name to her SD surname, she has no contact with her dad, we have a restraing order due to DV, continued harrasment/abuse after leaving. she has not seen her Father in 5 years, for her and my saftey. Her bio dad also has another child he has no contact with who has gone to court and changed his name to his SD name. I would love to do it for her but im too scared.
What we have decided to do is use the name we want. I have legally changed my name and when i did that i needed to get a new medicare card they told me you can change a childs name on a medicare card to a "known by name" at any time with a letter from the school saying they are known by that name at school. And you can enrol a child under any name at school. Our school refuses to change DD's name on the file, but have said if i had enrolled her in that name it would have been fine. So when high school starts if she is still sure we will enrol her under SD surname, change name on medicare card ect. then when she is 18 she can do it herself, with out her fathers approval. My DH would love to adopt her, he is her DAD she calls him DAD she remembers the things her bio father did and said.
Its really hard as she is old enough to know what she wants and everyone else in the family has a different surname to her. But she understands why she cant change it yet.

[ScarlettFelicity]

My friend has not contact with her BD if so it is perhaps a 5 min conversation once a year. She was rasied by her SD who sadly passed away just after she sated high school. She was enrolled under her step dad's name. At 16 when she went to get her BD did not sign the forms for change of name. She then waited till she was 18 and did it on her own. However she was around 11 or 12 when she wanted to change her name.

[SoloDad]

I would exercise a great deal of caution when changing a child's name from it's birth name.

My surname was changed 3 times from age 8 to age 16. I have now reverted to my birth name of my own choice.

At the time it never meant anything to me and i think most of the time i believed that whatever my mother wanted or suggested was right. I never recall asking for my name to be changed.

Personally i don't believe a 10 year old is sufficiently capable of making that decision...nor should you abrogate or assign that decision to her. Is it possible your child is aware of your preference and somewhat influenced by this?

What made it all the more difficult was my birth father re-entering my life many years later and making genuine amends to me for his behaviour, neglect etc. I accepted his apologies, explanations and decided to forgive, forget and move forward. It was at this stage that i regretted all the name changes and wondered why i didn't resist or speak up at the time.

In hindsight i believe the reason i didn't was because i wanted to keep my mother happy.

But having said all that i recognise that everyones situation is different and that there may be genuine and compelling reasons for a name change. Perhaps consulting a psychologist might assist.

I wouldn't judge you no matter what you decided because i believe from your post that you are genuinely trying to "do the right thing". However i have often found that "the right thing" was the wrong thing later on. Damn that hindsight!

[Froggy3]

We have had this discussion with my son's bio-dad as DS is now almost 4, and we are looking at schooling issues - we are hoping to private school and the fees are reduced when you have more than one child at school at the same time - to do this they will need to be same surname to make things easier...I also don't really wanna keep getting referred to as "Mrs X" (DS's surname) when I am married to a new partner!! LOL

Fortunately for me, my ex had similar thoughts about making school easier for DS, having him linked to is siblings, and is happy for us to have him "known as"my married name but doesn't really want to have DS's name changed legally which I TOTALLY undersand and respect.

My understanding is that you need the biological father's consent to change name under 16yo.

[Cupcake85]

Just thought I would share this link from Dep of Child Safety in Qld
http://www.childsafety.qld.gov.au/adoption/relative-step-child/alternatives.html#sec-change-surname

My son will change his name to be "known as" once his stepfather to be and I are married :)

[YMo7]

my DD is in year 2 and has been "known as" my new surname since she was 2. we are happy with this... at school it says Khloe (then my surname) aka (her legal surname). i told them i dont want her to be confused and that i want her to be named the same as me (she has 6 siblings with my surname also so it makes it a nicer thing for her to be the same as the rest of her family)

[frayzlilso]

My understanding is that you need the biological father's consent to change name under 16yo.

I'm going through this in the Family Courts right now, and yes you definitely need the agreement of the biological father to make any changes.

Currently I'm trying to have my surname included in my daughters so that she has both her families represented in her name. Wont go into the long-winded details, but I would just say it needs to be something you truly believe is best for your child before you enter into the 'name changing' debate as it's a long, long process if the other person doesnt agree.

[MelindaJem]

My mum changed my name when she remarried so that i would fit in with my younger siblings. I reverted back to my original name as a teenager. Looking back on it i think it can create some identity confusion. Even if your kid/s do not see their dad i wouldn't change there name.

[mummamirabelle]

Hi, I have a 5 year old son from a previous relationship. He has his fathers surname and sees him regularly. They have a wonderful relationship and I am happy for him to have his Fathers surname. For the purpose of this post, Let's say my sons name is John Smith. Smith being his fathers surname. My partner has been a part of our lives for three and a half years and he adores my son and my son adores him. My partner and I love it that my son has a lovely relationship with his Father and sees him often. My partner and I are excitedly expecting a child. My son is very excited about being a big brother. The new baby will have his fathers surname. For the purpose of this post, Let's say Brown. My partner and I will marry next year and I will also take the surname Brown. Whilst I'm happy for my son to have his fathers surname, I don't want him to feel like he is the odd one out. We'll all be Browns and he'll be Smith. For example, I don't want him to be at school with his younger siblings and they don't even have the same family name. I don't want him to feel like the "leftovers" from a previous relationship. I would like us to all be united with the one family name. I was thinking maybe when my partner and I marry, I could have his name changed by deed poll. Not changed but hyphenated. So he keeps his fathers surname but also has the family name. So his surname would be Smith-Brown. Obviously I'd discuss it with my sons dad first. But I don't see that he'd have a problem as his son would still carry his surname and we all have an amicable relatiionship. I'd like to hear your thoughts.:flowerz:

[I love JJJ]

I'm guessing it's not really going matter about anyone else's thoughts are as I would assume that it's what your ex (your son's father) thinks about it that matters as any name change will have to be with his permission or it can't be done.
I think that if you think it's best, then go for it...I just hope your son's father agrees.
Good luck.

[Ardentwhispers]

My 8 year old hasn't seen his dad since he was a bub, but I wouldn't change his name unless he requested it and I thought he wanted to do it for a good reason. I didn't know my dad growing up but had a SD my whole life, but I have my mother's maiden name, which I've always been happy with - in fact I'm glad it didn't get changed. I have thought of changing my son's last name to mine though...but I don't know if it's really worth the hassle, I reckon he can decide when he grows up.

[Ardentwhispers]

I'm going through this in the Family Courts right now, and yes you definitely need the agreement of the biological father to make any changes.



Do you know if this would this be the case if you have full legal custody? I don't need my ex's agreement on things like passports, etc. because he has no physical or legal guardianship (he lost that in the divorce many years ago..)

[little_froglette]

ok here's a question..
My dd is 6. she has never met her bio father as my new man and i have raised her since birth. she calls him dad (he tells her he didn't make her but he picked her)
She has MY last name.
When i marry my DP and change my name can i changer her's too or is it still the same process even though she has never had contact with her birth father and even if she has my last name?

[mummamirabelle]

This is totally off track. But I think how your partner tells her he "picked her" sounds so sweet : )