Me. Annoyed - another vent (sorry)

[ForeverMine]

I have just come to the realisation that I am going to be alone. It finally hit after knowing that I am pregnant for the last month and doing everything in my power to get my ex and me back together, it’s just not going to work.

I love him with everything I have and miss him like nothing else, but he just can’t be bothered to fix things with me. For God’s sake he is going to be a father, I am carrying his only child and he is just so lazy.

He knows that I need so much support, especially as a young mum with no mother friends, hardly any friends at all and he just won’t do anything. It’s always always me ringing him, seeing how he’s doing etc and I have come to the point of me now just not caring about us getting back together. He would tell me one thing, and then someone else would say he said something else. I could always count on him being honest with me but now, I don’t even know.

I know I need to be a single mum and support my child but I really just don’t think I can do it. I need someone to be there with me for the sleepless night encouraging me, telling me that my baby not sleeping is normal etc. I need a constant support, which I know will never fail. I can’t just have ‘me’.

I am so scared about what’s going to happen. Sure he wants to be there for the dr’s appointments and the ultrasounds…but really that’s as far as he’s support is willing to stretch. He said yesterday at our first antenatal appointment that he is “finally getting excited about the baby” Sure that’s great but why can’t he show me!!! I have no one really excited about this baby at all… except me, and I can’t do this on my own.

Argh, sorry about needing to vent so much, but it’s been so rough these last couple of days, I just don’t know what to do, where to go from here, what to think, and how to even feel….

[Ange&Seth]

Hey Sweetie :hugs:

You CAN do this alone, You ARE strong enough, You ARE already a fantastic Mother, and Jelly is lucky to have you. I'm sure it must be really scary to be in this situation, but you will get through it and you will be so happy when you do that you'll be able to look back, smile and say 'I did it, and I did it without YOU'

I'm good at listening so feel free to PM me anytime. I'm usually on here at lease once a day.

I know it all seems :gloomy: now but you will come out the other side of this :thumbsup: I'm positive you will.

[SweetSerenity]

Hey Sweetie!!

First of all big hugs to you :hugs:

I know how hard it must be with what your going through!!

First of all, its normal to be scared, but dont think you cant do it, you can!!! Once you give birth to that little miracle you will do fine!! Im not saying it will be easy, but dont think you wont be able to handle it....You want to start off feeling positive for you and the baby, otherwise you may create a negative environment to start off with.

Also have you sat down and had a big talk with the father??? If not, then maybe just organise an afternoon where you both have no other distractions and sit down and let everything out... He has to realise, even though you two may not be together again, he still IS a dad to be and has to be one to your little bub.

Im a newly single mum, so i know how you feel sweety!!

Do you have your mum around to support you??

Take care sweety!

Love Nat xx

[ForeverMine]

Nat, We've sat down and spoke about it countless times, but not since what he said yesterday.
I wanted him to come round tonight because he has to stay in ipswich as we have our u/s tomorrow and the trains aren't running, but he flat out refused. He knew and understood that I wanted to talk, but still he just doesn't care about me.

And I don't have my mother to support me. She's not at all keen about Jel. She think all babies should live with mummy and daddy, so im copping it from her as well :(

Thanks for everyone's kind words... i'll believe it sooner or later :)

[SassyMummy]

Although he's my brother Christie, I know he's a lazy d*ckhead and I'm glad that you've realised that he isn't reliable. I feel bad saying that, considering I'm his sister and should be a bit more loyal to him...but he really DOES need to get his act together, and until that day, if I were you I'd just plan on being a single mother.

I know it's different for me, I have Graham...but I only see him 2 nights a week. The other 5 nights/days, I'm a single mother. I know it's hard...but, in your case, that support you crave probably won't come from Brendon. It SHOULD come from the father, but I just don't think he's that type of person. He would most likely WHINGE about a crying baby and WHINGE about the way you're handling it...all while he does practically nothing to help you. When you look at it that way, you're probably lucky that you're going to be a single mother - you will only have to deal with 1 whinging baby!

There's also more to it than Brendon I think...everyone on my side seems to be a bit weird about it all. Except me of course. Mum is reasonable about it, but I think she's a little worried about how you will cope, and how Brendon will cope too. Dad is just being a pr*ck about it all...I'm really quite ashamed of him in those regards.

You CAN do it without him...trust me. You can. You can probably do it easier without him...without him to drag your moods down, without him to drag YOU down.

As for nobody being excited...are you kidding me? I might not be the person you WISH was most excited about it, but truth is, I'm over the moon! :thumbsup:

If you ever need "time off" when bub comes, and Brendon isn't being helpful...you know I can give you a hand. I don't mind. It'll give me an idea of what it'd be like to have another baby...lol...and spend time with my neice/nephew. You can go off and do whatever you want...get a haircut or whatever...and I'll be there to watch him/her.

YOU CAN DO IT CHRISTIE!

[bronny-jane]

i guess its a good thing that he's interested in the baby:)

people are ex's for a reason, and maybe he thinks you 2 would be better off for the baby not being together.

its hard to know what to write without knowing why you broke up in the first place;)

[steph_alyssa]

i am so excited!!! ever since u first came on bubhub i was excited and i have never even met you!!! sorry i haven't pm'd u lately we were in baby boot camp learning how to sleep properly.

You can and will do a brilliant job with your baby. Being a single mother can be longly, tough and depressing at times, but it is also the most rewarding job you will ever have in your life. I know it seems lonely being pregnant on your own, you probably just want someone to wait on you hand and foot, and have someone there to rub your tummy when Jelly starts kicking but you WILL get through it. And I'm really hoping that in the end your parents and Brendans parents will come around as they are getting a grandchild and babies are cool.

Big :hugs: . Single mothers rock!!

[SamanthaJane]

You can do it sweety!!!:hugs:

Men, schmen....:D

[lovingmumof 2now]

Chrissy,

I am sure I speak for all single mums to be and those single mums of us that have done it single from the start!!!

It was hell to start with, many many many tears and why me's were shed.

I remember hating all women with a husband and partner who were happy.

But guess what, if you look into their lives, they are probably not completely happy with their lives either.

It really sucks what is happening to you and I feel for you because I remember it all to much. I hated men for a long time because of it.

This little baby of yours is your guardian angel. It will guide you into happiness and you will feel no other love like it. You and this little darling will be best friends forever.

Keep your chin up and don't appologise for your posts. We are all here to offer whatever we have for you



Angela 33
Tyler ds 5
Gabriella 6 months.