your experience with adoption

[pixiemum2]

Well DH threw a curve ball at me tonight, the word "adoption". We have two gorgeous kids and I am very thankful for them. I have always wanted a third but after the last delivery I now have a morbid fear of going through labour again.
I don't know much about adoption and have had a quick glance at the DFC website.
I would be interested to hear peoples stories about what it has been like. Rewarding, hard, expensive, emotional?

[madboysnmummy]

I had 4 adopted sisters and brothers and tbh it was a very emotional and hard time for us in the family who werent. As they god older they blamed my parents for taking them away from there natural parents and moved out and searched for there real parents. they were brought up the same as us/given the same love , but happily walked away from the family like they were hard done by.

it wasnt a good experience for us. We dont see them or hear from them even though we all grew up from toddlers. it is quite sad really.

im sure there are many happy stories out there though

look at the celebreties!!! :)

[jackie7]

I can't tell if your looking at local or inter-country adoption.

I'll give you some stats about local adoption- in Australia in 2007 to2008 (finical year) there was about 75 children placed throughout Australia.

Local adoption is done by selecting the best parent for the individual child. There is always significant numbers of people that have been approved waiting for a placement of a child.
I personally like the QLD system with local adoption as they only allow those that are infertile to do on their local adoption listing. I just think with the low number of placements those without any child or have limited options with say having a second child at times need an inside edge. However this is only my personal belief and way I feel so you can ignore this stuff.

Local adoption has hardly any fee's involved in it and normally it's more the family law court fees with finalising the adoption. These are normally only a few thousand.

In terms of inter-country adoption the first thing I will say is congratulation's for living in SA. SA is currently one of the states that is the most effective in their processing and time lines with the Aussie side of it.

SA= adoption friendly state.


http://www.ag.gov.au/www/agd/agd.nsf/Page/IntercountryAdoption_Currentintercountryadoptionpr ograms

Your best off looking at the Australia government Attorney-General’s Department under adoption. There is loads of information.

Even in SA it could take you about 1 and half years for your paperwork to leave Australia. Then it depends on the process in the individual country - some work on batch groups and others look for the best application to match the child. My general advice would be to expect at least a 2 and half to 3 year wait before being allocated a child.

Our adoption was started in Jan 2005 and we be complete in (hopefully) 2013.

In terms of money - payments are made at different stages of the process and not all at once. Even the countries with less fees it will still cost you about $15,000 to the upper end $40,000.

Part of this payment is about $8,000 to $10,000 to the Australian side - immigration and SW (social worker) fees for processing your application. Why they can process local children for no fee and charge for overseas is normally because the department 'out source' their SW's that visit and read/assess your application. Why they can't have someone there do it I don't know - maybe they don't employ enough to do this.

[sam's mum]

Well DH threw a curve ball at me tonight, the word "adoption". We have two gorgeous kids and I am very thankful for them. I have always wanted a third but after the last delivery I now have a morbid fear of going through labour again.
I don't know much about adoption and have had a quick glance at the DFC website.
I would be interested to hear peoples stories about what it has been like. Rewarding, hard, expensive, emotional?

did I write this???

DH is wanting more, but I was in hospital for a month last time and they had to do the cs horizontal and vertical, I had trouble through the pregnancy. I have said no more.

He says - lets adopt :rolleyes:. He has a skewed view of reality with adoption. He was adopted and it was very easy for his parents. they lost a little boy at birth, went down to ?whoever docs was. asked for a baby and got one. He is totally deluded about how it works these days.

I hope that things work out for both of you :hugs:

I have to say, the older DD2 gets, the more I start to think that maybe I could give it another go. within seconds I pretty much snap out of it though, usually with a cold sweat and a shudder.

[Myztik]

When querying a moderating decision please direct any questions to a moderator via the PM system, not by posting it in the open forum.

Cheers,
Nel

[kiki07]

Both of you have to be totally committed to the process of adoption. The application journey is hard enough for those who don't have the option of having biological children.

The adoption journey does not end when the little one arrives at your house. You must establish bonding etc with a child who will be grieving for their previous carers. One parent must make the commitment to stay home with the child for at least one year. Establishing a connection with an older child may be more difficult.

Teenagers can be painful. As they try to work out who they are, who they want to be, and where they have come from. A teenager who has been adopted has extra issues to work through.

Adoption in Australia often involves open adoption, where the family and child have regular visits with the birth family. This is usually 4 times a year but arrangements are made between the families. Could you cope with this?

Adoption is absolutely rewarding, emotional and challenging. There is info out there if you are interested in looking into it to see if it is right for you and your family.

[timang]

it's not easy, you know.
there are a lot of adjustments to be dealt with.
more preparations.
but despite these, it's worth it.
seeing the baby happy, i'm happy!