Advice wanted re: 5 yo boy

[kas_chat]

Hello everyone, anyone. :wave:I am a bubhubber with a 5 year old boy and a 1 year old boy... Is there anyone out there (current experience or recently gone through this) who can give me some feedback and advice and suggestions regarding some behaviour patterns I am concerned about with my 5 yo?? In a nutshell, he is often (two sides to every situation I know) obstinant, defiant, aggressive, sneaky and throwing the tantruns he did not have when he was 2 or 3... I am trying to figure out if he is just reacting to our life situation (this alone is probably a issue) or if there is something else that I will need to get some medical/other/behaviour assessment about... where do I start... GP or other ? Who determines what and what is involved?? I literally know only 3 other mums with 5 year old boys and their children are not doing what my childs is doing... as far as I can tell... I'm not really that "close" to these families, so feeeling pretty isolated and out of the loop. What is normal and unusual for 5 year old boys... ?? I've read "raising boys" and it seems from reading that that this is within the breadth of normal, but on a day to day basis I am running out of strategies to keep one step ahead and stay sane... and keep my cool.

any suggestions, pm or heads up will help.

kas:ecomcity:

[JabberJaw]

Try reading the book called 'Raising your Spirited Child' written by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka.

I have got it out of our local library and also now purchased a copy. It has alot of AH HA moments on it and was recommended in another thread on here sometime back.

It is very good, give you a different perspective on things and helps you deal with and understand the behavior you have mentioned.

I have been using the techniques for a couple of weeks and my life has had a total turn around.

:hugs: you are not alone, there are many of us!

[Loopy Linda]

i have a 6yr old and 1 yr old. the 6yr old is full on. i think we spoiled him, we also have a teenager.. the teenager was nothign liek my 6yr old at the same age ( but might be making up for it now!) my 6yr old has screaming, tantrums and hitting out over nonsense half the time. he is so loud, and whingy, yet loving and kind at other times.

i am sorry i don't have any real advice, but i will be looking into both books mentioned on here

just wanted to send you soem hugs, can be needed with these boys!

[lisas5boys]

I am a mum to five boys, all with their own personality. Our house is never dull and is always interesting.

We have a ten year old who has a few issues that we are working through. The best advice i can give you is to look at what your boy is eating.

We only have bread that is freshly made, with no 282 in it. Our ten year old has also been tested and he is highly sensitive to wheat and diary so we have changed his diet and it has seemed to make a big difference.

The only other thing I would do, which really works for us, is to ignore his behaviour and make a big fuss of your other boy's good behaviour.

When you ignore the bad behaviour (which can be really had to do!) it seems to break what he is doing. If I walk away and smile and have fun with my other boys, the boy that is having a tantrum soon stops because he has no audience.

Having a good laugh also seems to break the ice. So get a good book that you enjoy and read it out loud (even a book your younger one enjoys). Laughing is the only way I stay sane raising five boys (oh and one husband!)

The best book I have come across is for the older age group. All the younger boys books I have read so far have only helped for "normal" behaviour. But when you do get to the teenage years, a good book is "He'll Be Ok" By Celia Lashie.

I am hoping that this helps. If you ever need to talk, I am on facebook and twitter or contact me through email

Take care and know that it does get easier every day they are growing into fine men. Remember you are his Mum and doing the best job you can do so believe in yourself.

Lisa:wave:

[Mrs Potts]

Sadly this all sounds perfectly normal for his age :hair::hair: I was only the other day reading some posts I made elsewhere about my DS's behaviour around age 5/6 and I wonder how we made it out alive! The responses I got at the time to my troubles was lots of agreement and sympathy from other mums who were going through the same thing.

All you can do is be persistent and consistent with your discipline and what is acceptable. Find a "punishment" that works and stick with it (whether that's time out or whatever). Don't be fooled. At that age they do know what they're doing and they do mostly understand the consequences of their actions, if these have been made clear to them. Also the usual reward the good behaviour and ignore the bad as much as you can. Obviously there are some things that shouldn't be ignored, but I'm sure you KWIM.

It can be so hard, and they can wear you down until you feel totally beaten. Don't give an inch. On the plus side, my DS is about to turn 8 and he's (mostly) much better. He still has his moments, but they are fewer and he knows he's done wrong and even apologises most of the time. We've come a long way!

Oh and big things that set my boy off - tiredness and hunger.