Advice on TT a strong willed boy!!

[shanz]

ok i really need some help here. DS is 2 years 9 months. And 2 weeks ago we decided he was ready to be toilet trained. He was telling us when he did wees. would happily sit on the potty or toilet to do poos. So we had a chat with him and told him it was time for him to stop wearing nappies and wear undies. which he did no probs. he will not wee on the toilet, infact i can sit him on the toilet and he will do nothing and cry saying he doesnt need to go, then he will get off and within minutes will go to his toyroom(90% of the time) and pee. So last week we changed our angle and instead of just gently explaining that wee goes in the toilet we started telling him it makes us sad when he wees on the floor.Well my VERY strong willed boy sat on the toilet refused to do anything then 2 minutes later runs out of his toy room laughing, when i see that he is wet i ask if he did wees on the floor he says "yes mum i did, its funny isnt it" when i explained that it is not at all funny and made him help me clean it up he just kept laughing. So now i just dont know what to do. He is only having maybe one accident a day, will wear a nappy if he has a nap. but for the rest of the time he is in undies. He just holds and will not wee in the toilet.
What else can i do??

[GiasMum]

Ive heard of those toilet training stickers you put in the loo that have a picture when they wee on it (dont know where you get those though).

Somehow try to make weeing in the toilet SO much fun that peeing on the floor isnt going to be anything exciting.

[FiveInTheBed]

maybe try a little step so he can wee standing up..or the 'wee-man' attatches to the toilet, so they can reach.
have you got a garden?...tell him he can 'water mummies plants' :D
Get excited when he tells you he needs to go, and don't focus too much on the accidents...just say " oh well, let's clean it up, how about you tell mum next time and we'll RUN to the LOO!! :smiliedance:" ..or something along those lines.
Then some 'woo- hoos' and high fives when he does it in the toilet!!
I found with my two boys...standing up to piddle sooo much easier then getting them to sit down.

have you tried training pants (not disposable ones) the terry ones with a lining..they can help with puddles.


Be patient :hugs:..it takes time, all kids are different.:goodvibes:

[OJandMe]

I bought a hot wheels car and put it in a zip lock bag, and stuck it on the toilet wall with a star chart.

5 stars (one per wee in the toilet) and they got the car.

Then I just put something else in the zip lock bag... chubba chup, a finger puppet, whistle anything you can get that you'd put in a party bag... balloons..

They only needed about 3-4 things before they were just weeing in the toilet out of habit.

And if they wee'd anywhere else we'd just say "doesn't matter, just an accident. Toilet next time okay?"

[reAllytee]

Heh.

Took me 18mths to get my DS1 to even contemplate using the toilet .... He was 3yrs & 9mths.

He knew he needed to go, could go, had no fears or anything ... He just flat out refused.

Not even peer pressure at Kindy or the Kindy teachers could make him shift.

The worst thing you can do is start making comments about it making you sad etc as it can make a bigger issues for one but it also then becomes a tactic for them to use to control the situation.

Toddlers like control ....

They have very little in this world that they can control, think about it, we dictate everything to them & there are so many rules they have to abide by etc.

They want to be able to do something, so often its this type of thing that they resort to 'controlling'.

I would leave it for now as he is still young enough for it to not be an issue ... Society will tell you otherwise with comments made when out & about or well meaning family members advising you that they had all their kids TT by 6mths of age :rolleyes:;)

It just isnt worth the stress to push it on them when they dont want to even if its due to their own stubborness.

Give it a few weeks, pop him back in nappies or pull ups & then try again.

This time just make it all fun & dont resort to saying it makes you sad or anything just dont fuss or make any comment when he wets elsewhere ( its damned hard I know !!!!! ) just clean up & say " Oh well next time we shall try the toilet ! "... Even if he says " NO NO mummy I will wee on the floor ! " do not get into a war with him over it. Just say that " Well ok we will use nappies/ pull ups sgain " or " Nooo thats silly ! We wee in the toilet " but make it all light hearted ....

Never say HE is silly just the act as this doesnt insult his ego nor hurt him in any way as all you are doing is saying the act itself is silly but otherwise showing no emotion in regards to being angry, frustrated etc will mean that cuts that off from him which is what he is feeding off.

He will get there ... Trust me ... It can be a very hard & long process for many kids & they arent 'trained' as such they do it when they are ready.

Good luck !

[shanz]

Thanks for the advice guys, ally you make perfect sense. I think we will go back to nappies for a few weeks.
We actually had him sitting on the toilet for over an hour today trying to go, which he is more than happy to sit there but gets upset cos he tries and he cant do it, and he really does try. Well a friend was helping me with the sitting with him(actually she was sitting with him!!)and she pointed out that he only has the tiniest little pinhole at the tip of his penis. Which got me wondering if it was normal or not, and if this is possibly why he "cant" do anything?? Maybe he isnt bing stubborn, but is trying when he sits on the toilet but it is too hard for im??
We have a weeman but hubby has to modify it cos the clip that holds it on doesnt fit our toilet.

[FiveInTheBed]

not that its a huge deal..but did you get two clips with your wee man?
We did - a small one and a bigger one.

[shanz]

yep we did, i will try and explain this as best i can. So fc it makes sense to you!!:laughing:
our toilet is only new and instead of having the rim on the inside of the bowl it is totally enclosed with just a hole every so often that the water comes out. They are apparently easier to keep clean, but as i found out with the weeman it doesnt have "lip" for the weeman clips to grip onto. So the whole thing just slides off. DH seems to think that if he files a bit off the weeman it will stay in place.

[FiveInTheBed]

..okay! :D sounds like a great toilet!

Good luck...

TBH.. we used the wee man for ds1 - loved it, besides the odd over enthusiastic empty *splosh!!* (then it broke just as DS2 started wanting to piddle like his big bro)..as we were waiting for a new one to rock up - both boys just started using a little plastic non -slip step that moulds around the base of the loo..so they can get really close.
And the wee man hasn't been used since!
(so if anyone wants one PM me :p)