Absent husbands

[sugar n spice]

My husband is off for a wk to newcastle for work, actually just over a wk. Anyway it is really getting to me as im going to be at home on my own with two kids having to do everything. I know its his job but lately he seems to be going away nearly each wk be it a day or longer, this is the longest so far. I know i shouldnt complain as i know people have partener in the army, navy, mines etc that work away a whole lot longer and other jobs that require travelling. I think its all the pregnant hormones getting to me aswell, that another thing though im sure this travelling is going to become common and i hate that idea with a third child as i will be stuck at home with three then:eek:. I live out of town so dont want to be going into town alot, i can see mum and sister on the weekend but i dont want to just hang around them the whole time. I dont really have any friends:(, the only real friend i have is always too busy and is about to have an op. I though we could use this thread to vent and support eachother when our partners / husbands are away.

[mythreelittlemonkeys]

great idea!! :smiliedance: Maybe it could become a permanent area- they have a section for Parents in armed forces - but what about us all who have partners who away alot for work? I know there are quite a few of us in WA and Queensland for sure...be really cool to be able to chat sometimes with people who understand what like being apart weeks at a time...without the support you get when in forces...and for mummies who fly in fly out too cos there are some of those too...do you know who we contact to create??:)

This is our situation: me mummy2 be, DH works in Pilbarra, WA on FIFO basis usually 3 weeks on 1week - 10 days off...but this not set in stone...he been away for nearly 5 weeks now!! He also has 2 children with ex girlfriend who miss him heaps too... I really scared how I going to cope after baby born...as this is his career and the only way we really can earn the money we need to esp now Inot working...I can't ask him to change jobs...but the seperation really hard...esp. as for a year after we married he wasnt doing this and I saw him every night...hardest thing for me is I have no family here...and no friends really...they all in UK and Europe...wasnt so tough when I was working but last few weeks been awful...thats prob hormones but really miss him and struggle trying to get everything done on own...often feel like gonna be single mum...hmmmm!!! the upsides are when we are together it fantastic!!and real quality time :D and of course he happy in his work, not just slogging it at a job he hates for the money...and the money is good!;)

[Melo]

:hugs: to you Sugar + Spice, I hope that it gets better for you. It is so un-fair when employers expect their employees to travel when they have children. Also in your situation its not like your husband is just down the road, its on the other side of the country! Can your husband ask his boss about not travelling as often?

I remember DS was 1 week old and DP had to go out to a mining camp and work for a whole week, I was livid! We were both new parents and his boss expected him to go away (He had to go too!).

Georgiem I live in the Pilbara!

:hugs: to you again Sugar + Spice, I really enjoy reading your posts so if you ever need to chat we are all here for you! :)

[porridge]

I'm not sure I qualify really to post in this thread... my DH is away one week at a time (every 2 or so weeks) and I can go with him if I want to (and if we can afford it)

We still chat over the net while he's at work up there (canberra) but it's not the same as having another pair of hands to help settle a screaming baby :no:

He's in the reserves as well, but has taken leave while griff is very small. He went away for 4 weeks and I was a wreck - dropped 2 dress sizes and was pretty sick :thumbsdown:

I feel for the women who have partners in the defence force or mines - it must be so hard!! I think those who can do it are amazingly strong.

:hugs:

[sugar n spice]

:hugs: and more :hugs: to you all. Its more so the loneliness and bordem then anything else and im not used to him going away until recently ( last 6 mnths)
My husband is the manager of town planning and ranger services ( prob wouldnt expect a job like that to create travelling) but its all the courses and training he has to travel for. What does everybodies elses partners do.

I hope this can be a place where we can chat and winge or whatever about not having the help and support we need and in saying that we can give eachother that.

If there is a mod reading this could you please make this a sticky and maybe a permanent section for us with travelling partners as i dont know where to contact hilary for this.

Emi - you definetly qualify to be part of the group anyone who has a partner that goes away at all or have advice for us is welcome, we are here to support eachother.

Mum2jacob thanks for your :hugs: and thoughts. Yes i think it is really unfair but he cant change having to do training. He has got out of a 5 day trip to kalgoorlie in july as i said no i drew the line as he is going away for over a wk now.

georgiem - its hard isnt it, i couldnt imagine 5 wks without my partner so im here to listen aswell. and my thoughts are with you. if you ever want to chat im here. my msn is rachethshel@hotmail.com

[becca74]

My DH goes away about once/twice a month for a few days for work....

so I'm glad you started this thread, as I dont feel so alone now....

Feeling a bit :gloomy: , it's my birthday today, and he is away in Sydney till tomorrow night.....and with these 8months preg hormones, am feeling really sorry for myself.....

So, virtual :hugs: to all you gorgeous ladies sitting in the same boat right now...

[SamanthaJane]

My partner is in Victoria and i am in the middle of New South Wales...

I wish he was here more often too:crying:

I must admit tho... it must be hard on them too having to leave their families:hugs:

[Bessie]

Mine goes away sporadically, he came back today and its a relief as bubby is really engaged in my pelvis... ouch!

The worst time was when he went away to Indonesia for 2 weeks, I'm an Expat so have no real support and the kids really missed him. I was constantly worried about his safetly too. I feel much happier when he's away in Aus, at least I can get hold of him and know he is fairly safe etc.

It's hard isn't it, I think being absent can put so much strain on a family and you don't necessarily reap the benefits of higher pay. My hubby's work colleagues all seem to have fairly disfunctional relationships and he has found it really hard to put his foot down and say that he's not going now that we don't have long left before bub shows up.
Fimgers crossed :fingerscrossed: we will have a few weeks to settle down with the new baby before he has to go away again. I'm not looking forward to trying to manage 3 kids on my own, but at least I won't be pregnant anymore!

How do you guys cope though? - this time DH made some freezer meals for me (coz I'm 35 weeks, hasn't doen this before lol) and swept the floor, got some firewood in and helped with the shop - I have been finding it really hard to clean and the house is a right mess! Last time he went I just bought some DVDs for the kids and would chill out on the sofa... I try and plan a coffee morning out with friends too and pig out.
But it's the loneliness which is the worst... we all need adult company and once the kids are in bed we are pretty much stuck on our own! (So I tend to come on here lol!) - Bubhub has been saving my sanity, not that there is much left lol.

[Bessie]

I must admit tho... it must be hard on them too having to leave their families:hugs:

Yeah, mine had the "rejected on the phone" thing from our 3 year old last night, he just wouldn't speak to my DH and I could tell that really got to him. I think DH is under constant pressure to go away at the moment as the project he's on is heating up, but I'm getting to the about-to-drop part of my pregnancy.
Webcams are good for partners but you can't always get them working in remote areas :no:

[MrsMiggins]

What a great idea for a thread!!

My DH goes away for between 2-5 days every month. He was actually away the week before I was due to give birth to our first DD by c/s!! The head OB at the hospital was not at all happy that I wanted to put it off until he got back!

I do enjoy having time to myself when he is away, but it is really hard doing everything on my own. It's hard to get the bins out on bin day & back in after the garbos have come (we're on acreage), it's hard getting the baby's bottle organised after her bath (DH gets it ready while I dry her off normally because once she has her PJ's on, she starts screaming for that bottle!), it's hard finding time to get the dog fed - let alone myself!! And now DH is having his retired greyhound back to live with us & she needs to be fed a special diet that needs to be cooked fresh every day! Pah! Honestly!!! Do you think he'd notice if I just fed her Pal while he's away?! :laughing:

Just little things, but it makes me glad to see him back home again!! Actually, it's kind of nice to miss him & for him to miss me. We get so tied up in our day to day lives sometimes that we don't pay much attention to each other. At least when he's been away, we're happy to see each other again.

[Elmopalooza]

Hi gals..
My DP works away as well... it gets soooo hard... He works on the mines and is away for 4 weeks and back for 1... that happens over and over and over again!
1 month is a long time to be away.. especially with a 14mth old who loves her daddy! Plus Amity is just starteding to walk (she took 8 steps tonite), and poor DP is missing it all!

[KCsunshine]

Ohhh Lana - I can't imagine that, must be very hard.
My DH and I are always together in fact I get excited when on some rare occasions I get the house to myself. Tonight he is going to the rugby so I am planning a big night in!:smiliedance:
But, I would hate it if he went away for long periods of time. Bet he hates it too and misses you badly.
Kath

[EskimoMumma]

My dp is soon to be working 7days a week 12 hours a day :crying:

ill miss him but atleast we'll be able to pay things off and get things for the new bubs.

[Elmopalooza]

Kath, it is hard but when we see eachother we value our time even more then before! I actually think it is harder for DP because at least i have my family and friends, he has no-one. We speak every night tho and he always says goodnight to Amity. She gives the phone big kisses!!

[sugar n spice]

Its so good to be able to chat to other mums that are in the same vote. my dh goes its not like hes away all the time but to me going away a few times a month and for more than a day at a time is a big deal and is away alot compared to the fact that im not used to it. He had last week home well, working but you know came home at the end of the day.

It is the lonliness that is the problem i try to get dvd out and come on here but it still gets lonely.

What do you cook and eat when its just you and the kids? Not much point cooking big meals. Also what do you all get up to while there away. day times fine its the nights more so and the weekend im dreading.

Its my birthday today and it sucks he has to go first thing in the morning but i suppose i should count myself lucky hes hear tongiht

[bubhub]

Hiya - I'm about to make a new section for you all in the Chat with Parents section - it will be called 'Parents with partners working away'

h

[sugar n spice]

thanks so much hilary:thumbsup:

[mythreelittlemonkeys]

can we move this thread to it???:smiliedance:
Thanks hilary!!

I am counting the hours now till I pick up my DH on sunday night...we speak every night but not the same...plus sooooo expensive!
I find it hard knowing what to cook too...end up eating tons of slices of toast...or eating a meal that is way too much!! I really enjoy when he back or my stepchildren here and I can cook proper meals...
I get lonely cos all here alone apart from puppy...puppy gets lonely cos I am 38 weeks pregnant and not much fun!! live for emails from home...would be lost without computa...as how I keep in touch with all my folks and friends...does anyone else find it hard having social life with DH away?? I think for me it tricky cos we only moved here in July and he been away since - doesn't relaly give us much opportunity to go out and met people...I am trying hard to meet up withpeople from forums...but miss that me and him going out with old friends like at back home and meeting new people really hard :rolleyes:

[sugar n spice]

i hope we can move it as this thread has now got all of our info and it would be hard to have to redo it all again

[Bessie]

can we move this thread to it???:smiliedance:
Thanks hilary!!


Hi Georgiem
I love your Pootle avatar, sooo cute!
It must be hard if you haven't been out here long and have fallen pg pretty quick and DH is away... we have been here a year and a half and I still have my moments sometimes, but have enough of a routine to be out nearly every day and that helps.... but at 38 weeks I hardly blame you if you don't want to be out!
Maybe if the new subforum progresses we can support each other more and there might be other mums in your area in the same position...
Also, have you tried Sykpe? (internet ohone programme) I use it for friends in the UK and if they also have Skype, it's free... but you can also ring a landline and then you pay a small charge... I think we have a few dollars on our credit and we have had it for ages so it's really cheap. But if DH is somewhere out of the way (like a mine in the middle of nowhere) I guess it will be a pain to get hold of him anyway?
Take care x

[Bessie]

It is the lonliness that is the problem i try to get dvd out and come on here but it still gets lonely.

Its my birthday today and it sucks he has to go first thing in the morning but i suppose i should count myself lucky hes hear tongiht

Happy Birthday! :bday:
Hope you have a good evening and he spoils you rotten!

As for cooking, just try not to worry about it, if you cook too much, just freeze it and then you don't have to worry another time. I guess I like this part of him being away, I don't really have to think about what to cook as the kids are easy to please.

[mythreelittlemonkeys]

cool - you recognise pootle :)
not sure how thread gets moved but sure someone will :smiliedance:

[becca74]

thanks for all the happy birthdays :hugs: .....it is funny, by my age you think you can live without all the fuss, but by the end of the day, when the day becomes just like any other, and especially since DH was away, it kinda starts to get to you.....but I'm much better now.....I have another birth-day to look forward to in a few weeks :smiliedance:

[sugar n spice]

Thanks bessie for the birthday wishes. I had a lovely evening for my birthday. I am missing him heaps but distance does make the heart grow fonder. 6 more days to go and counting. Mum and dad took my oldest son off my hands for a few hrs so that was good. I slept surpsingly well last night for the first night without him, i dont usually hopefully its becuase i cant have a nap on the weekends with someone looking after the kids:laughing: and it leave me knackered. hehe

[tickle]

Hi everyone.:wave:
S&S I've moved this thread for you to the new section.
Have a great night!:)

[sugar n spice]

thanks for moving it happy lady. :smiliedance::smiliedance::smiliedance:

[sharvs]

Hi everyone

My DF works away alot. He has been away since April, will be home for a month in July, then gone again for 6 -7 months. I usually use the "Parents in the Armed Forces" thread to have my whinge, I dont want to be doing it all over Bub Hub!

Sharon

[sugar n spice]

Hi sharon so your partener is in the armed forces is he?

[sharvs]

Yes, the Army. He has been for 5 years now. We are about to start our second overseas deployment but this is the first one as parents.... pretty scary

[MonMic]

Hiya:wave: ,

I am an IBM widow ATM, my hubby is away for 6 weeks started sunday, for work. Wow some of you are absolute champions and I feel silly complaining about my measly 6 weeks! WELL DONE MUMMIES! you are the greatest.

DP usually tries not to do too many but he actually likes it alot, and between Qantas Club, business class travel and a fully serviced appartment at the other end with no nagging wife, grumpy kids and a cable TV all to yourself, why wouldn't you!:rolleyes:

I read him the riot act a bit before he left and said as far as I am concerened he is going on a holiday as he won't have any family responsibilities to worry about :laughing: yeah right he said, and I don't want him ringing me and telling me how hard it is for him! Ha! He thinks a 5min webcam converstaion once a day will make up for him being away:mad: I DON"T THINK SO.

Again though well done all you mummies who basically live like this permanently! I am in awe.

[sugar n spice]

Yes i too agree i dont know how some of you do it, a wk is bad enough let alone longer. I shouldnt winge really:laughing:. I agree its like a holiday for them nice restaurants, 5 star accommodation no family responsibilties hmmm wonder why they jump at the offer to go away:rolleyes:

[MonMic]

Well DP, has only been gone 3 days now and I am feeling it already.
To be quite honest I'm sulking. :gloomy:
I Know how childish it is, I just can't help myself.
I cleaned out all of his things that he leaves all over the house and put away all the **** he leaves all over his side of the bedroom. I even packed up his toothbrush! :o and I don't want to talk to him on the phone.

I'm ****ty he went away and left us, and I really feel like he has left to the point where I have to remind myself he is coming back! I suppose I am spoilt as he hasn't been away on a long trip in ages. His take on it is that its just the way it has to be so deal with it, which doesn't really help at all!!:thumbsdown:

I am keeping a happy face for the kids but really I want to curl up in bed and cry. I know its always hard when they first go, and it will be better next week.

Hoping you all are having a better time.
Anybody have their DP coming back soon? (I suppose you won't be on here you'll be of celebrating):eek:
Mon

[sugar n spice]

I'm ****ty he went away and left us, and I really feel like he has left to the point where I have to remind myself he is coming back! I suppose I am spoilt as he hasn't been away on a long trip in ages. His take on it is that its just the way it has to be so deal with it, which doesn't really help at all!!:thumbsdown:

I am keeping a happy face for the kids but really I want to curl up in bed and cry. I know its always hard when they first go, and it will be better next week.



Mon im so wiht you on this. dh says its not like he has a choice he has to go and that it is a great opportunity for him etc, deal with it etc.

It has been 5 days now and ethan is getting better but now shel is sick so for 4 days now i have been up at night dealing with kids and im about to break. I am dying for him to come home and have to hold back tears when i speak to him on the phone.

Im putting on a brave face for the kids aswell but as soon as there out of site i break down and cry esecially at night with the sleep deprivation.

[sharvs]

My DF will be home for a month in a months time :smiliedance: , well a month yesterday but who's counting!

Sugar n spice, in regards to your earlier thread about not complaining because your hubby isnt gone as long as some, dont be silly - it's all relevant. My DF is going to be away for 11 months of DS's first 15 months of life but that is our lifestyle - we have to expect it. It doesnt make it any easier, but its the job. For alot of people that arent apart from their DP often, a week feels like an eternity.

I had a friend come and stay for a week, earlier this year. My DF had just left for 2 months away & my friend spent most of the time crying because she was away from her DF for a week. At first I was angry with her - i thought how dare she complain to me when its only a week? Once I calmed down, i realised they had only spent a night apart together since they met. For them, a week was huge. It all depends on your lifestyle. We all hate being away from our DP's regardelss whether it is for a week or 6 months!

Sharon

[sugar n spice]

sharvs thanks for that you are so correct.

The only time dh and i have been seperated is when i have been hospitalised with my pregnancys and the birth of our boys. And then i had visitors and nurses to keep me company yet i still got depressed as he wasnt around. Usually he goes a way for a day or two 3 tops but this does feel like forever:(:crying:

[sharvs]

I'm ****ty he went away and left us, and I really feel like he has left to the point where I have to remind myself he is coming back!

This is normal. I always have to sit myself down & say "Sharon, this isn't forever. He will come home." We've had so many arguments, I say that he choses the Army over me & our son." He says "It's just a job" I say "No, just a job is one where you come home every night". I've given in now, I know that I will never see it from his perspective and he will never see it from mine. Sometimes I think about what it would be like to be with someone who never leaves me & is always there. Then I think about my life without DF in it, and he wins every time. I would rather spend only 6 months of every year with him than not have him in my life at all.

[sugar n spice]

Sharvs your right its better to not have them for a little while then not at all, distance makes the heart grow fonder, doesnt make it any easier though when the kids are sick and im on my own:(

[MonMic]

Sharvs your right its better to not have them for a little while then not at all, distance makes the heart grow fonder, doesnt make it any easier though when the kids are sick and im on my own:(

Yeah I know how you feel!
And dP just doesn't get it!
To add insult to injury he informed me last night that he will not be working at all THE FIRST WEEK!!!! WTF!!!

So not only did he go over a day early so he could get the Qantas flight he wanted, Because he didn't pin the customer down on what they needed he is now sitting in a hotel room for a week watching T.V. complaining about how hard it is because he has nothing to do!:mad: :banghead: AHHHHHHHH.

But in my world the baby is teething, and DD has a fever and my AF has arrived! (1st time since DS was born).

(Arms in the air) I give up, what are we supposed to do?

And he expects a party when he gets home too!!!! I was going to drag myself and the kids to the airport (1 hr away) to meet him but let the **** get a Taxi now!

[sugar n spice]

Well i spoke to dh on the phone last night and get this he comes home sunday and then he said he has to drive back to perth and monday though he will be back the same day:banghead: I said he may as well stay there. Anyway my youngest is now sick with a cold and croup so i took him to hopsital late last night and they gave him some steriods which have helped. Anyhow my mum and dad are going to perth tomorrow so that means if sheldon had to go to hospital there is knowone here to look after my oldest so they suggested dh cancel his flight home to albany on sunday and i go up there with mum tomorrow and meet him tomorrow. That is all good and he is going to cancel his flight but i dont know wether my youngest is to sick to go to perth he seems better today but its night time i need to watch. I know that if i go to perth i have more people to help me out and look after my oldest if i need to go to a hospital there. I told my mum it comes down to how he goes tonight really if he is really bad tonight i wont want to take him and mum said well dh could go back home with them on the sunday anyway. Im missing him so much but i dont know what to do he has cancled the flight and now im thinking im stupid for asking him to. I mean if my youngest son has to go to hospital it will look stupid that he has been treated in albany and that i take him to perth, Sorry for the rambling. I know he should be heaps better tomorrow as it only lasted a few days with my oldest. Oh and im sick to now:crying: i give up i cant take much more:crying:

[mythreelittlemonkeys]

"Anybody have their DP coming back soon? (I suppose you won't be on here you'll be of celebrating)"
MonMic - I am celebrating!
Sorry not been online girls...but I am one of the lucky ones this week as DH returned on Sunday for the big day! It is 3 weeks he has off and no sign of baby yet...hope not too late or I will be popping and he will be flying out again for 3 weeks...
sorry you are all a bit down at the moment....:hugs: big hugs to all of you!!
Anyone elses hubbie FIFO - we struggle if he home for longer than 10 days or they cut the stint short as he doesnt get paid when not up in the mines...its a bitter pill to swallow especially when I really want him home...

[sugar n spice]

Dh is home tomorrow well not really home till monday but we decided to go to perth and meet him there as he has to stay away an extra day so we thought wed go to him. Anyway i cant wait to see him at the airport. I miss him so much Georgiem i am so glad you have your dp home, its good isnt it

[MilkOnTap]

I had a friend come and stay for a week, earlier this year. ... i thought how dare she complain to me when its only a week? Once I calmed down, i realised they had only spent a night apart together since they met. For them, a week was huge. It all depends on your lifestyle. We all hate being away from our DP's regardelss whether it is for a week or 6 months!
..........
I think about my life without DF in it, and he wins every time. I would rather spend only 6 months of every year with him than not have him in my life at all

I'm totally hearing you Sharon. It makes no difference if its 10 days or 10 months that we are apart from our partners. The fact remains that they are our PARTNERS for a reason. For better or For worse we stick by them because as wives, that is our responsibility and duty.

Tonight has been a hard night where I actually organised a signal to be sent to Grants ship (not the easiest thing to do) because of an email I received from him where he sounded much more depressed than normal. He was then allowed to call me on the satellite phone for 3 minutes to let me know that he isn't about to jump overboard. That was hard. It was the first time I had heard his voice in 19 days :(

Nevertheless, only 60 days to go. And out of 183m thats not too bad! :thumbsup:

[sugar n spice]

ally im sorry your having such a hard time, im glad you got to talk to your partner though and i hope hes ok.:hugs::hugs::hugs:

[gracewolds]

Great thread, my husband has been away every week since January and is basically home on Fridays for weekends and then off again, makes life hard as I work and have 2 girls aged 2 and 3 and they miss him

Also puts a strain on our relationship as I am so used to doing everything myself so when he comes home I hate the disruption in our routine even thouh its good to see him. I also go off on a Sat morning and have a few hours to myself whihc is great.

Anyway, its all about being organised. If you are on your own, maybe organise some fun activities for the kids at home - playdough etc they loveit

[sugar n spice]

I could not imagine having my partner away that often.:hugs: to you

[Thea`s mum]

I have'nt seen this post before now.

My husband trevels over seas 15/20 days a month, so I'm alone with two children, no familiy and no friends in a strange country.
He has always been away, but I find it very hard here in Australia.

I do feel for all your girls because I know what you are going true. The one thing that I hate is that my soon to be 4 year old dauther is depresed every time he goed, she wan't eat and cry alot.

[porridge]

:hugs: Thea's mum - that must be so hard!

my DH has been away from home for 2 weeks. griff and I went up for the weekend which was nice.

He's supposed to be home NOW, but the fog in Canberra means his flight was cancelled and he won't be home til later this afternoon. :(

I miss him so much!

Does anyone else kind of set themselves up, knowing how long your DP is away and you have strength to get through... but when things change and he's away for longer, does it become harder? I don't know if that makes sense, but I just feel blah right now. I was so excited about him coming home and now I have to wait longer and I just don't have the energy...

[Thea`s mum]

:
Does anyone else kind of set themselves up, knowing how long your DP is away and you have strength to get through... but when things change and he's away for longer, does it become harder? I don't know if that makes sense, but I just feel blah right now. I was so excited about him coming home and now I have to wait longer and I just don't have the energy...

I do know what you mean, and I'm so ****ed off, even when it's not his fould.
But I do know what you mean, I'm the same way:yes:

[bearsmummy]

Hi girls... just found this thread yay!:smiliedance: i really needed this!
My DF works FIFO up north in WA 2 on 1 off. We have 3 boys Jake 7, Daniel 4 and Joel who is 1 in just over 2 weeks. We live NOR.

I too have found it quite hard dealing with my kids all alone... sometimes that dinner, bath, bed routine is just too hard by yourself isnt it? Or going out to bbqs or birthday parties by yourself and have to care for the kids alone but at the same time try to have fun and put on a happy face.

My friends are a good support unlike my inlaws :mad: but they have their own families to look after so i try not to dump too much on them... my parents live away down south in esperance. Mind you my sister is a wonderful help :)

I hope hope you are all pulling through...feel free to add me to your msn. Im always on there once the kids are in bed looking for some company.
melissahazzard@bigpond.com
you are all doing such a wonderful job.... well done to you all!

[minimonte]

I can sympathise with u all. My huby does fly in fly out to Karratha and is here for 2wks away 2. I have 2 munchkins and have been finding it really hard at times. I have a great family thank god but it would be nice to have more friends who have kids and can sympathise. I feel really lonely at times too. If anyone wants to catch up I live in Perth or wants to chat then drop me a line klotter@mail2me.com.au

[sugar n spice]

Does anyone else kind of set themselves up, knowing how long your DP is away and you have strength to get through... but when things change and he's away for longer, does it become harder? I don't know if that makes sense, but I just feel blah right now. I was so excited about him coming home and now I have to wait longer and I just don't have the energy...


Porridge i completely understand it i get so mad:mad: when things change to their itenary
Theas mum that must be so hard - :hugs: to you and your little girl.

[bearsmummy]

hi all not much happening here... had a reasonably quiet 1st week since blakes been away this swing. he comes home on wednesday so things can go into chaos then :laughing:
its good that he comes home then coz he can help with joels 1st bday party... only sad thing is he flys back out on his actual birthday. but at least he is here till lunchtime i guess.

well i hope you are all well and taking it easy. hope to chat soon:hugs:

[mythreelittlemonkeys]

porridge - I really know what you talking about I find myself on an emotional rollercoaster often as DH will be due home an then oh they decide to keep them up longer or bring them down but only for a few days and then he away again for another 3 weeks...not helped by the fact the driller and other offsider both single and nothing to come home for...personally I not come to terms with it yet so not really got much advice to give - only to let you know you no the only one who feels blah about that and that I guess it only gets easier with time??:rolleyes:

[kirstenriley]

Thanks god....my DH goes away every now and then too.....he was away all last week, and then BOOKED IN GOLF THIS MORNING! I am 32 weeks pg with #2 and about to drop dead with tiredness.

i swear he nearly got a knife in the eye!!!!!!!!!

[Pices_79]

My DH is in Sydney (We are in Adelaide) until late November / December this year. I do miss him heaps but it does pay well so cant really complain....He does come home every fortnight so that is great! I do feel for him though as we are expecting our first bub in January so is misses out on going to US appointments etc....:fingerscrossed: next year he isnt away very much!

I found it really hard last year as I was working fulltime, studying a fulltime load and trying to plan a wedding as well as managing the house work etc - I am still amazed that I got everything done!!!!

[bearsmummy]

hi girls hope your doing well..... sorry dont mean to brag but blake comes home tomorrow:smiliedance:
but im sure by the end of his week off ill be ready to send him back lol!
good timing tho as daniel starting to get sick so i could do with some help and joels 1st birthday party is on sunday too:bday:

take care and hope to hear how your all coping soon:hugs:

[porridge]

*sigh* DH goes away on Monday - Friday, then goes again on Sunday, back Friday. It's going to be like that til the end of the year pretty much. Gone 2 weeks out of 4 :(
what do you do when your partner is away?

[mythreelittlemonkeys]

counting down the days till monday night when A home:smiliedance: ...as said in another thread he not due till a week after that but they changed shift again!! and he only home for a few days but that better than nothing!!! I hate weekends without him especially as not much going on at least during the week we have appointments or things to do left right and centre - weekends are just one big void!!
hope everyone hanging on in there and ok!! :D

[Di-78]

I agree weekends are crazy, I find them the hardest. The kids home from school and bub doesn't get her car rides to and from school. Had the neighbours kids over most of today and my parents coming out for a drive (live about 1 hour away) 2morrow. We keep ourselves entertained but the time seems to drag on. I seem to get more jobs done on the weekends though as I'm not watching the clock. I get sad though when we get invited to things and only me and the kids rock up and everyone asks "Wheres hubby this time?" "how longs he gone for?" and the normal questions. Then everyone voices their own ideas of being away from the family :ecomcity:

Haven't been sleeping really well this time around. Any ideas? I am breastfeeding so most of my ideas are out. I seem to be a bit more highly strung :banghead: I think this stint is going to be hard. Not sure how long. but then again had a suprise visit for 3 days a fortnight ago. work booked him a flight so thought he'd better take it. anything could happen.

Hope you all have a great Sunday.
Dianne

[mummy14]

This thread is just what i needed!! My husband left yesterday for east timor. He will be gone for 2 months then home for a week before going back for another two months...this could go on for 12 months :(
We have a one year old daughter who is missing her daddy already! We moved here to Brissy a few months ago from Canada so i don't know anyone here, my family is in NSW, his in Canada...I have been a mess since he left yesterday, crying, moping and waiting by the phone for his calls. I just don't know how i'm going to cope with these long absences..when he applied for this job we both thought that it would go ok, now i'm not so sure..any tips on how you girls get through these times would be greatly appreciated..:banghead:

[porridge]

hey mummy14 - that sounds so tough! I really feel for you, and your little girl :hugs:

my DH is usually only away for 2 weeks at a time (then home for 2 weeks) so I guess we're in quite different boats! the longest he's been away is a month, during the summer - it was the longest month ever!!

Are there any playgroups near by that you can get involved in?

bubhub is a great place to find *friends* - there's probably some who live by you as well!

I usually try to do something special everyday, and something very special each week. special = going for a walk, to the park, to the library?? very special = mum and bub session at the movies... beach day... bush walk? I guess whatever you like doing will give you a place to start, and what's closish by...

My DH is home for the weekend, then he's off again on Sunday night... hope you pop back in and chat!

:wave:

[sugar n spice]

Hi ladies i just thought id pop in since i havent needed to for awhile which is good but he has gone away for a couple of days at a time. So how are you all coping with the kids when dh goes away? Not too bad i hope. Chat to you all soon and im glad this thread has really taken off.

[Billy]

:wave: Hi I'd like to join this thread if you don't mind :o My DH works at the mines 5 on 4off, then 7 on 5 off...

Its good having him home for awhile, but it does get hard sometimes being on our own- we miss daddy!! :crying:

Thanx Belinda xo

[mythreelittlemonkeys]

hi to everyone new...well my DH goes again tomorrow - only home for 7 days htis time ...adn cos we so broke he working on breaks down here too...so we didnt see much of him - but better than nothing!! dreading tomorrow - I missing him so much when he away....must be hormones!!

[bearsmummy]

Hi girls hope your all doing well.
My DF is away for 3 weeks this swing as he has changed crews. But they have forgotten to book a seat for him on that flight home so it may even be a few days later :banghead: which then means that he wont get a full week off maybe only 4 or 5 days. Geez! :mad:

welcome to Billy and mummy14 - hope you find this thread helps you get through :D

Hi porridge, hope your doing ok since DH left on sunday....

i find just doing something to keep me occupied each day helps me. Even if its just a trip to the park or walking with a friend.... or bubhub:laughing:

its hard isnt it di78? thats what i hate the most... going out and getting the whole 20 questions. The one that gets to me the most...." so how do you manage?" grrrr i wish they would stop with that one... i dont know how i manage, i just do. Isnt that a good enough answer?
Hope your sleeping better hun.


ok well i better go and get these kids sorted,

Take care girls, mel & the 3 boys