She's 3 weeks old and cries until i pick her up.....what to do?

[Mama2Mia]

I know 3 weeks is very young but i've done all the checks (nappy, burped, hot/cold etc) but she cries when i put her down. The second i pick her up she stops crying and falls asleep in my arms.....

I got 1.5hrs sleep the other night because i didn't want her crying so i stayed up and held her so she could sleep but that night with only 1.5hrs sleep almost killed me.

Would controlled crying work on a baby this young? It seems like she knows that all she has to do is cry and i'll pick her up. I know she could have wind or something but after trying everything to get it out and it doesn't work, how will holding her help IYKWIM?

I just need sleep....:(

[AM]

CC is not recommended at all until at least 6 months of age, it has been found to be detrimental to infants mental health.

Do you have a sling or a baby carrier? If bub loves to be in your arms a lot (totally normal) then a sling can be a life saver, my babies pretty much live in them on my body for the first few months, and they can listen to my heartbeat like they could while they were in the womb, smell me, and be comforted by my body warmth.

My bubs are set up so the breast is right there, and they can feed and sleep to their hearts content, and at night they sleep with me so they are comforted as well, for the breast on demand, and simply warmth and comfort.

See if you can get hold of the book "The happiest baby on the block" by Dr Harvey Karp, it is really good for techniques to soothe your bub.

It really is normal for a 3 week old bub to want to be held, to them it is about survival, they need to know mum is close, or it could mean they are abandoned, so crying is their way of calling you to protect them. Babies have ancient instincts, and if we keep them close, and especially in a womblike environment like a sling, they generally will settle quite well.

All the best.

[RoarsomeMum]

Do you have a rocker or Swing for Bubs??

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs: Your a GOOD mum doing all the right things, and its mega hard when that does not work. Roar would only settle with me or in the vibrating rocker.. at first, I had to sit near the rocker and still be touching her, but after about 2 hours, she was loving it.

I hope you get some rest soon, christ know's you deserve it.

[Mrs Potts]

It sounds like you are doing all the right things, I agree.

I'm a fan of CC but I also agree that 3 weeks is too young to do real CC. There are gentler methods you can use, but even those I wouldn't use for a couple of months yet.

The only other thing I can say is have you ruled out any medical issues like reflux? Reflux, for example, is often made worse by lying bubs down. While they seem quite happy to be upright. It's quite likely this isn't the problem, but you need to ensure that you've covered all bases before you consider any form of CC.

Otherwise, she might just be a "needy" bub and holding her could be all she wants/needs. As exhausting as it is, enjoy it while you can. Too soon they're 8 and won't even give you a kiss goodnight ;)

:hugs:

[KatiesMum]

It is hard ... but unfortunately there isnt anything you can really do except cuddle her. At 3 weeks old she is just beginning to accept the idea of being out in the world instead of being tucked up all soundly in your womb.

there are lots of things you can try rather than cuddling, but if she falls asleep straight away when you are nursing, and you dont want to co-sleep for a little while, then I would suggest buying a nursing glider chair .... so you can be comfortable and sleep while you hold her. (they are about $350 but you can sell them later for a fair bit of that back)

Anyway, perhaps try

- co sleeping
- wrapping her, not wrapping her, wrapping her differently
- a swing or vibtrating bouncer thing
- music (white noise, radio statis, constant noise or 'sounds for silence cd from target)
- a night light
- a dummy
- patting, rocking, etc
- singing to her
- a sling (if she wants to be held, getting a good sling can be invaluable)
- getting someone else to nurse her while you have a sleep durign the day.


Good luck, and I hope you get some sleep soon
:flowerz:

[JabberJaw]

Babies at 3 weeks old tend to want to be held constantly, its a big scary world and they need their mummies close to them, could you catch some sleep with bub on your chest? Lay in the middle of your bed and place her on your tummy close to your heart.
Do you have a sling? This would allow her to be close to you yet still have your arms free to do daily stuff. You will probably find bub will sleep most of the time in there.
Try to get as much sleep as you can, dont worry about housework and stuff just yet.
She IMO if far to young for CC, she simply wants to be close, so get comfy (even in the chair/recliner) and rest while bubby is on you, it will get easier soon. :hugs:

[Mama2Mia]

thanks for the feedback everyone.

i've bought a hug-a-bub but have tried about a dozen times now and can't seem to get it right...i'll keep trying that.

she does have reflux and i do have a glider chair where i feed her in but when i fall asleep my arms start to relax and i start to let her 'slide' so i'm too scared to sleep in it.

she doesn't even like being in bed with me because that just means i'm not holding her still so still not happy. :no:

i've tried the dummy but thats just as bad as my staying awake because it falls out ALL the time so i'm up every 2mins putting it back in...

i do have a bouncer with the virbrating thing but we don't have batteries for it...i think that will be today's try!

1.5hrs sleep and it won't take many nights like this before i lose it :sleeping:

[Luna Lovegood]

Firstly, :hugs:

Why not try heating her bed up a bit with a heat pack so she isn't in a cold bed.
Pop a t-shirt you have work for a few hours, so she can smell you.
Swaddle her so she is a cuddled up...

Good luck...

[Nomsie]

:hugs: I know exactly how you felt, my boys were like that at 3 weeks too.

Go to your local library, and see if they have a copy of the DVD Dunstan Baby language. It helped me immensly- I understood right away what was wrong with the boys and was able to work towards fixing that.

THe only other thing that I can say that helped me was changing my attitude. I had to firstly accept that they were only little babies, and they didn't know anything about being in the wide world. Secondly, I had to tell myself that it was only a short period of time it would last for, and they would mature beyond it. (Luckily, they did!)

[kezzaskids]

My DD was exactly like this at 3 weeks, 4 weeks, 5 weeks etc etc. She is now 13 weeks and has started to sit in her chair thing and lie under a play gym for small amounts of time but generally she wants to be near me when awake. I have two cuddle blankets for her, one she sleeps with and one I sleep with. Every night I swap them over.
I know you are tired but try to go with the flow, sleep little bits when she does etc. My DD is bub number 5 and I still have melt downs everynow and then :)
If it continues, maybe a check up at the GP or even a chiropracter but in my opinion Controlled crying is not suitable for a little bub and generally not until over 6 moinths of age. How ever if you are close to losing the plot it wont hurt to tuck her safely in her bed and walk away for a little while to have a drink or step out the door for a few minutes and collect the mail. Good luck :)

[NibbleCurlynBub]

Its an instinctive thing.. Perhaps try picking her up when she needs it now and resuming CCing later on when she is older and more likely to understand. :)

[AM]

Hug a bub I think are more of a pain than they are worth really, try a simple pouch, or a ring sling, once you have them adjusted, you just need to throw it over your shoulder, and pop baby in... really simple.