To have a fourth??

[~angel~]

:wave:
I have 3 kids, who I just adore, but would love to end my little family with just one more! (Ive always wanted four)!!
But....I was wondering, Is there anyone out there who has 4 children and found it much harder due to the car, house, time for each child etc...My husband feels that with another, It'd be a much bigger commitment?
He's happy with three, but Is willing to *think* about a fourth...
Thanks everyone!!!
Looking forward to your answers;)

[CJJHRA]

as long as a 4th doesnt turn into 4&5 (twins LOL) like I did, we wanted a 4th to make it even, didnt work! It was rather easy (I found) going from 3 to 5. Yeah we got a tarago, which once I got used to, it was so much easier to park than a sedan, such a great turning cirlce for a van, so much easier to drive than I ever expected. it was no longer than the sedan we had either, we had a um, nissian bluebird at the time, and we measureed the length.

At the time we had the twins we were living with my parents and brother in a 4x2 so that was 10 people.

When we had the twins the ages were, 9, 5, 3 then the twins.
our kids are now 14, 10, 8, 5, 5 and 2.

Personally, I found it harder going from 2-3 kids

[FourAngelKisses]

I want to have a fourth so I'll be eagerly watching this thread. I had severe PND with my second (born 15mths after my first) and I never got to enjoy them until they were 4 and 5, by then I had missed out on the bonding thing and a lot of the most important part of their lives.
Now that I have managed to have a baby and not get PND, I am really enjoying being a mum. Not just to him, but to all 3 of them. I'm learning things I never knew before, most importantly, how to join in and have fun with what they are doing. I want a second chance at being a good mum, I just have to convince DH.

[Mummy2my5]

Hi....:wave: I am currently ttc #5. I have 3 children from a previous marriage then had my 4th in 2004. I didn't find it hard at all to go from 3 to 4 apart from the car thing,that is the biggest issue as well as house and bedrooms etc. The youngest of my other 3 children was 5 when dd was born so they were all great helpers and absolutely adore thier baby sister. I would like 6 all together,my family will think i am crazy.....:laughing: If you want a 4th i say go for it,i agree that it is much harder going from 2 to 3. Good luck.:thumbsup:

[mrsbutterflygirl]

I can't say from personal experience (i am pregnant with my first) but my sister has 4 and she wouldn't have it any other way. cause now she has the four the eldest 2 stick together and the yougest 2 do.... the youngest used to get left out alot!

[3TinLids]

Hi,

I often wonder about a fourth child too. We are very busy with the 3 boys at the moment but the thought is still there!(By both of us) A friend told me yesterday that her mum had 4 kids and she found that the change from 2 to 3 was much harder than the jump from 3 to 4. We have the car which is big enough to include another child but the house is not really big enough now, but we do have plans to either renovate or move.

My last birth ended in a c-section and both Ash and myself were not that well afterwards. He ended up in NICU and it took me quite a long time to recover both physically and emotionally so I guess this needs to be taken into consideration. I too will watch this thread with interest.

Thanks

Rebecca:)

[FourAngelKisses]

Okay, now I'm curious. Why is it that going from 2 to 3 is so much harder than going from 3 to 4? Any theories?? DH found it harder to go from 2 to 3 than I did. Once I got into a routine I was right but he seemed to struggle more than I did.

We had to get a new car to have our 3rd (we had a 3 door excel previously) and if we have a 4th we will need to upgrade our Magna, LOL.

[CJJHRA]

I guess going from 2-3 for me, meant I didnt have 3 hands kinda thing. Even though the first two would play together alot. Also you know the saying 3's a crowd, well one would always be left out. Cant cuddle three at a time, cant hold hands of three, can sit next to three, learning to spread your time more. Yes theres always that with 4 too, but then 2 get left out at a time, not 1 (If that makes sense) Two in the bath at once, but fitting in a 3rd is squishy, therefore one has to have a bath on their own. Nothing that you dont learn to adjust to. I could hear two kids talk at once, but not three.

[JATS]

Great Thread! :thumbsup:

We plan on starting with 4 and maybe having another 2 or more depending on how we go with the first 4! Hubby wants 4 and has said if we cope with that many he has no problem having more! He's even started looking at the 7 seater Subaru Tribeca and how to import one! Big families are just wonderful!:smiliedance:

[FourAngelKisses]

Just another question, how much extra per week do you think a fourth baby costs?? More-so around the age of 2 and over. This is something that worries DH about having another, me too, but not as much as him. We want to take our kids on at least one small holiday each year and be able to provide them with things (not brand name stuff...if they want that they can buy it themselves). basically, we don't want to have to say no all the time, just most of it, LOL.

[Mummy2my5]

I think it really depends on whether you have clothes from previous babies and all the other things that you need. The major cost for us has been nappies,i have started to toilet train but we are not quite there yet so that is a weekly expense but i really don't notice any other major expense from having a fourth. We havent been on holiday with the kids yet this year but we went twice last year and had a great time.

[FourAngelKisses]

I would use cloth nappies, so my only big expense would be formula. I gave all my old baby clothes to my sister when she got pregnant, but that's no biggie, I can just get them back, plus I'm an op-shop junkie, lol.

It's more the food side that worries me, when they are 4+ they eat like horses.

[Mummy2my5]

Yeah thats true they do,but really it isn't that much more when you are already cooking for 5 people. I always found that we would have left overs but we don't now since having #4 :laughing:

[maybe1more]

I say go for it, as you can never have your time over again and you dont want to regret it. Not that i can talk, im pregnant with bub number two and wouldnt mind another to get a daughter, or even a forth. If your desire to having another bub is there, you still have more love to give.:yes: :D

[mykidzrokk]

DH and i have discussed 4, but decided that we just cant afford another car and have no idea where we would put the baby in the house....:laughing: .....we'd have to get a bigger house too as we are just renting.....we would both like another one, but sadly have decided not to....of course if we win Tatts.....bring it on!!!!

[FourAngelKisses]

Don't do anything drastic, you might change your minds in a few years. :)

[mumof3sons]

Hi what a great thread. We are going through the exact same thing. After having our third 6 mo ago today we upgraded our car to a 7 seater, not with the intentions of having more kids but just for more room. And then we loved having 3 kids so much that we decided it would be nice to have anot: her, we are also saving to upgrade to a bigger house we are planning on doing it in the next 1-2 years. So we are going to TTC#4 next year, as my mother in law said to us it is never dull in our house, and she is exactly right when you have a large family there is always something going on, but you always have more fun too. :smiliedance:

[RuthK]

I too am eager for a fourth. It's ironic because I hate being pregnant (love to be active and never like to be encumbered with a cold, let alone a big belly and lots of nausea) but the end result is so worth it. We're holding back for a few years because we cannot afford a bigger car as we're building a house. I wouldn't mind having twins as that would give us our desired family of 5 in only 1 more pregnancy.

I found that when having No.3 so many people, especially family, were not very supportive and would make comments like "Not another!" and, "Don't you know there's contraception out there!"

It's sad that if others are not big believer's in large families that they cannot just accept that some of us are and either be supportive or say nothing!

[Tingles]

I am an only child....I love my three girls & look forward to definatley a #4 & ??? who knows...:laughing:

I cannot wait to upgrade the car to a van & fill the seats!

I've said to those who ask...will you have another ONE ...'hey I'm 30 - there could be another 3 left in me!'

I think my dh is lucky to have a dw who is willing & ABLE...

[poormum]

Love my four.... am pregnant again with number 5, our house is crazy chaotic, and never dull.
Loads of laughter...loads of tears....loads of amazing experiences.

Is it more expensive....I have not noticed.
Is it harder....no I think it is easier....more hands make light work !.

If you at all considering it...it means you are more than half way there.... you will never regret it, it will bring you more joy than you can imagine, and another sibling is the best gift you could ever give your other children...:smiliedance:

[Moorish]

See, this is why I LOVE bub hub!

When you start thinking about something, the answer is often there in a thread already!

Or in this case - I'm having the same thoughts about having a 4th as well.
DH and I always said (when we got married!) we'd like 4 kids (each negotiable after the other!:laughing: ) So now we're up to 3 little girls, all gorgeous, cheeky, the works. Our baby is now 8mths old but hubby is finding it more difficult adjusting from 2-3. He seems to be less tolerant when she wakes during the night (which, in comparison to most babies isn't too often), yet he can't explain why? But he still wouldn't trade her for the world! I think there's that small glimmer of hope that conceiving a 4th might give us a boy and that's the only thing that keeps him considering it!!

We have a 19 month age gap between #1 & #2 and a 26mth age gap between #2 & #3 (we just lost track of time somewhere!) We've started talking about a 4th, but hubby doesn't seem too keen but still won't rule it out. If we do try for a 4th then we'd like the gap closer to the 18-20 month mark which means we have to start trying later this year. I'm so worried that he'll just procrastinate with making a decision and then it will be too late! I also think it will be challanging with a 4th as I still have all 3 at home at the moment - however, Chelsea will be at kinder next year and Nicola at pre-kinder so both will be out of the house a few mornings a week. But I just haven't prepared myself for little Imogen being my last pregnancy etc even though her birth was quite traumatic.

Any input would be great, otherwise I'll have my eye on this thread!:D

[WDT]

Hi there , this is very interesting. Similar to dlilemma I am in and posted about a month or so ago. We have three boys. Always wanted three kids - thought that would be most 'practical'. However now that I have three the same sex I find myself thinking of going for number four, but I am pretty sure it is only to 'try for a girl'. I would hate to 'regret' the decision if it turned out to be boy number four. But I would equally hate to think in another five years (when the ovaries have shrivelled up :laughing: ) that we should have gone for it. I am sure I would love another boy, even if there was a tinge of regret that I never got my girl. Another complicating factor is that all my family are in UK and so it is $$ to go and see them, but then I think I should probably have thought about that before number three and that there will probably be a rare occurence that we get over there now anyway. I also feel the time pressure. DS1 is now six and DS 2 is 3 1/2 and DS3 is 8 mth, too long between DS 2 and 3 but DS 2 had some health issues so time kind of got away from us.

[anak]

:laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

Sorry, sorry, just we've been having talks with DH about whether we will have a sixth child to even it up.
Lotsa reasons why one shouldn't have a big family and we've found the real expense starts with high school but I love my large family, well most of the time.
Yes I totally agree.The expense once they are teenagers can drive you up the wall sometimes.There is always something to fork out for,especially in high school.

[~rambox~]

Hi my name is Rebecca and I am new to this forum, but I have 4 children and they are all boys. The only real change that has to be made with having a fourth is the bigger car to fit everyone. Other then that home life doesn't change that much at all. Hope this was helpful to you.

Bec:smiliedance:

[jaydensmum]

This is a great thread!! I have always wanted a big family. I love reading stories of families that are huge like 10 kids etc. They are just so amazing how they all work together and are actually really close. Although im fascinated when reading about them i dont want that many myself. :laughing: I would be happy with 4 or 5. The only problem is trying to convince DH!! :rolleyes: When i first met him he was so strict about having only 2 kids (which we have now), but then changed his mind to having 3. Im really worried that he wont see it through my eyes on why i would love 4 or 5. I know he's only concern is the finance side of things, but to me money isnt everything. The way i look at life is we only live once so live life to its fullest! :smiliedance: To me the fullest life would be having a house full of kids with my DH. People worry so much about money, i really dont know why. When you die money doesnt exist but family will still be there. Anyway im going off track, i reckon that if you want to have more kids then go for it, what have you got to lose!! :thumbsup:

jaydensmum

[spiritedfamily]

My 3rd was our peacemaker, he's a real charmer and the 4th gels everyone together well. My fourth baby is the most confident toddler out of all my kids, she was born knowing it all...she fed well, she took all her milestone steps with ease and has slotted into the family so well. I look forward to the surprise a fifth will offer.:fingerscrossed:

The kids might not get everything they want when they want it but they have each other as company and that makes up for so much. We don't go on holidays every school holidays but they appreciate ours so much more because they are rare and a real treat.

Having a large family, means we think about life differently, our house is small but it means we have to be more considerate of each other. It can be really hard some weeks but for all the concerns and worries it brings, its worth it. Once you up your car to a van, then your set, you don't have to worry about it unless you plan to exceed 6.:yelclap:

The reason we have followed our desire for 5 kids is because I am surrounded by many older mothers who wish they had one more baby. I have heard regrets from those who can't anymore and we felt that while I'm still young enough, its better to do it than to be depressed when I'm 50 about that one extra baby I wish I'd had.

I also believe that children are miracles from heaven and as long as your heart is open God will always provide for the children he blesses your lives with. We have had many things happen that are quite remarkable from a a simple thing as faith.:smiliedance:

My last words are.... Always follow your hearts:hugs: