Weaning 3mo off dummy - please tell me it's possible!

[threepigs]

I can't believe I'm even posting this - god bubhubbers must get sick of responding to neurotic mums like me....

I'm an idiot, I know I am, I gave my son (now 12 weeks) a dummy when he was born and he needs it so badly for sleeping now that instead of getting up just the once to feed him like I used to I'm up an additional 3 times a night to stick the freakin' thing back in.

I've been reluctant to allow much crying because I have a toddler in the next room and all the :ecomcity: about allowing a bub under 6mo do any crying but I'm ready to listen to someone elses crying other than my own as I am now seriousuly sleep deprived.

I was much tougher with DD and she's (traditionally) been a great self settler.

I've been telling myself for weeks that it will get better, it WILL get better, PLEASE LET IT GET BETTER. But tbh it's just getting worse.

I have calls in to Tresillian, Hope Cottage and an email to Karitane for some help.

What do I do, does it work I'm seriously :gloomy:

[MountainGirl]

can you BF him to sleep until he gets over the dummy thing?

[Me]

I don't have a lot of advice, because it's been almost 3 years since I was where you are now, but I just wanted to let you know that you can do it.

Start small, start with day sleeps and once he's going to sleep without it during the day, then work on nights.

I feel your pain, I fear I will be the person writting the exact same post that you've just written in 4-6 months time(so if I do, please tell me to take my own advice:laughing:).

Is there anyone who can look after your DD overnight for 1 night when you are ready to start working on your DS's night time sleeping habits? Just so that you aren't stressed about waking her too, because your DS will probably pick up on it if you are stressed. Another option is to ask a friend or relative to stay the night and get up to your DS so that you can try to catch up on some sleep.
:hugs: it will get better, unfortunately not immediately, but it :fingerscrossed: won't take too long.:hugs:

[Bambaloo]

DD was the same, it got to the point I'd get up to stick the stupid thing in up to 10 times within a 5 min period.

I took hers away one afternoon when she was about 4 or 5 mths old and did a form of controlled crying.

That very night she started sleeping thru 12+ hours per night!

At about 7 mths she was having a bottle of water (one of the nuby ones with handles) in her cot and she'd go to sleep with that. I didn't mind cos she was drinking plenty of water. Once she chewed thru those she had nothing, just her bunny.


DS has a dummy and yes I am getting up to put it in sometimes during the night but I rather that then feeding him 100 times during the night. He is getting better. If he wants a feed he'll keep spitting it out anyway so he still has 2-3 feeds thru the night and he is nearly 6 mths old :(

He is starting to grab it & try and put in his mouth now too.

So basically with Ella the health nurse said I could hold out til about 6 mths when she can find it herself & put it back in her mouth or take it away. I took it away. DS I am keeping it lol.

Not much help but yeah the cc method worked for me. Offer him a security blanket or something so he has something to associate with sleep time.

[MothersMilk]

You should check out a thread in the 'no cry' sleep solutions section called:
"Pantley's gentle removal plan"
It deals this problem :thumbsup:
Sorry i don't know how to add it as a link :o but certainly worth a search.

Good luck

[threepigs]

SJR - I do try to do that but he wakes on the way back into the cot. I have trouble doing this in bed because his attachment is so average I end up lying there in agony.

NewMe - yes, possibly can get DD to stay with grandparents when I'm ready to tackle the night situation.

[threepigs]

You should check out a thread in the 'no cry' sleep solutions section called:
"Pantley's gentle removal plan"
It deals this problem :thumbsup:
Sorry i don't know how to add it as a link :o but certainly worth a search.

Good luck

Thanks, found it. Might give it a go at night hey. I'm just so over it. He's woken after half an hour from every day sleep today and I just can't settle him even WITH the effing thing. i'm utterly over it.

[earthslings]

I'd give the boob a go since a dummy is really only a breast substitute. If you co-sleep you won't have to get up at all during the night.

[wild at heart]

when you put him down to sleep and he is calm (and may have his eyes closed),walk out of the room, continue to go back in once he cries again and try to settle him for 30 mins. If he doesn't settle then that's when you can try the dummy, breastfeed, rocking, sling, swing, walk in pram to get him off to sleep. It is the first 30 mins that will teach him to settle.. eventually he will be able to do it without the dummy.

[wild at heart]

Thanks, found it. Might give it a go at night hey. I'm just so over it. He's woken after half an hour from every day sleep today and I just can't settle him even WITH the effing thing. i'm utterly over it.
having read that- he seems to be fighting sleep so will prob cry regardless.. i'd go cold turkey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

gooooooooooooooooooooood luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuccccccccccckkk

[threepigs]

I'd give the boob a go since a dummy is really only a breast substitute. If you co-sleep you won't have to get up at all during the night.

Mmm - my only problem is attachment lying down, it's agony, otherwise I'd co-sleep more regularly than I currently do (i kind of try and limit it because i don't sleep when he's snorking around my bed :o)

I've just managed to get him off to sleep, exhausted, wrapped so tight he can't move and with b/f. Still, I don't see how b/f changes things? It's still something to suck on that I have to get up five times a night to provide :confused:

[MW&S]

Mmm - my only problem is attachment lying down, it's agony, otherwise I'd co-sleep more regularly than I currently do (i kind of try and limit it because i don't sleep when he's snorking around my bed :o)

I've just managed to get him off to sleep, exhausted, wrapped so tight he can't move and with b/f. Still, I don't see how b/f changes things? It's still something to suck on that I have to get up five times a night to provide :confused:

Speaking from personal experience I would not replace the dummy with BF. :no:
You will feel more tired and it is so much more demanding on you and not something anyone else can provide for him!
I BF my DD to sleep & she is 2 now and is still mostly dependent on the BF to go to sleep. Not something I will do with my next one.

Maybe you could have a look at Elizabeth Pantely books...The No cry sleep solution for babies..She has great strategies for toddlers which I am using now and is working wonders on my DD. And no crying! Seriously!

[threepigs]

Thanks to everyone for suggestions. We just managed under an hour sleep on the spare bed together but the second I put him in his cot (I was desperate for the loo) he's wide awake again.

This minimal bit of sleep was achieved with the dummy, wrapping, rocking and patting for over three hours. Oh and I tried lying down b/f but nothing doing there either, which is odd.

He was such a good sleeper only a few weeks ago, I just feel like I've totally screwed this up.

[mummynat]

Hi there

I had exactly the same problem with DS. I was getting up 5-10 times a night replacing the dummy. He is now 6 months and goes to sleep without the dummy 99% of the time. I still give him the dummy at times during the day. I have a toddler too so I understand how you must be feeling.

DS had a severe attachment to the dummy too. I think if you can't go cold turkey (I tried and failed), the thing to do is to break the sleep association your baby has with the dummy. I started off by letting DS fall asleep during the day without the dummy (try drive in the car or in a rocking chair). I also removed the dummy once DS was about to fall asleep (or when he had fallen asleep if he started screaming). I read a few books on this and they say that if the baby falls asleep with the dummy in, then when he/she wakes, he/she will expect it to be there so he/she will not learn to self settle.

Once DS learned to sleep at least one sleep without the dummy, I let him sleep without it at night. For 2-3 nights, he cried for about 15-20 min (protest cry, not distressed cry) and fell asleep. Some nights he would wake again and cry until I gave him a feed / dummy. I would wait until he was almost asleep and I'd remove the dummy.

I'm not saying it was easy, but if you persist with it for a few days (3-5 days), you'll see result. From my experience, I think you shouldn't feel bad if you have to use the dummy at times for sanity's sake. DS now sleeps from 7pm to 4/5am most nights. Most days I can't get him to go back to sleep after feeding him at 4am or 5am so I give him the dummy and I go back to sleep. I take it out when I wake up around 6.30. He'd continue to sleep until 7-7.30am.

Sorry this is a bit long but hope it helps!