Is it rude to ask?

[jessi]

Hi, Im currently organising my baby shower with my mum and a friend... I have been absolutly unandated with bags and bags of baby clothes and blankets- I know that most of my non mummy friends will just head straight for the clothes shops and buy me cute little outfits... not that theres anything wrong with this but is it wrong to add a little insert in the invitations asking that instead of clothes, can they buy disposable nappies, baby bath products, rash creams, baby relaxation music, dummies and other new born baby essentials?
Id much rather receive things that I need than have a huge stack of stuff that might not ever be used.

[kymmy]

I don't think it is rude
I think ppl will appreciate practical gift ideas

[MumsieMel]

I dont think its rude, quite smart and people will prefer to get you what you want!

[Taylors_mum]

Agree with the other mummy's.

Its nice to know that you are buying a gift that the person will use/want.:D

Good luck with the orgainising.... thats so much fun.

[giggles]

Why don't you set up a gift registry instead?

Some people are really against them but I think it is a great idea!

There are heaps of o nline stores that do them.

Happy shower :yelclap:

[suemp]

i had a baby shower with ds and now am having one for ds2 (as there is 5 years apart i gave everything away) and i found for both everyone invited has asked what i would like.

[Bubble*Crazy]

Don't think it's rude at all ... as everyone else has said ppl much rather spend money on something you will use ... I know I'd rather ask if there was anything in particular ppl want.

Have fun and best of luck with the remaining of your pg :D

[nemosmum]

No I think its sweet especially if you just add it nicely at the bottom of the invite:yes:

But I hate gift registries I know I know they are practical But still:rolleyes: :mad: :laughing:

[Jodiee]

What about a little poem, like with wedding invitations asking for money..

this is quick, but an example:

Ill much appreciate seing you here
Im sure we will have fun and glee
to celebrate and look forward to the day
we two become three
Just one little request from me
You see, I have clothes and suits galore
but with much trepidation you see
I have to ask for something more
I am lacking in baby necessities
like nappies and wipes and bath gear.
I hope you dont mind me asking off bat
but these will be much used,
thank you so much for reading
from Jessi and Nat


From Jo

[JasmineLouise]

What a great idea :thumbsup: (the poem).

I personally wouldn't take offense to a little 'gift guidance'... i think it's a great idea, especially for the non-mothers who would probably find gift buying a little overwhelming (it's amazing how much there is to choose from).

Good luck with the shower :)

[Me]

it's not rude at all - you will probably find that most people will appreciate the advice.
a friend of mine had her baby shower when my dd was only a month or 2 old and even though i'd just been there i still had no idea what to get. she sent along a list of what she wanted/needed then we all just let a friend know what we were getting if we were buying from the list, that way there were no double ups - extremely helpful indeed! this also allows for a few people to get together to get some of the more expensive items that you need eg a digital thermometer, play gym etc.

good luck organising your shower! they are so much fun!

[Briswegian]

Not rude at all. It's rude to ask for money I think!! But offering a suggestion as to what you need is helpful for the person buying.

[missie_mack]

This is the greatest baby present Ive seen and maybe if you dont want a list you could suggest to everyone how much you would love one of these and they could all put together for one??

http://megan.kiwi.gen.nz/NappyCake/

[Jackson84]

well, i didnt have a baby shower as such, cause DS was already born when i had it...

but i had a tupperware party, and asked that rather then buying things (as we had so much already, and use cloth too) that they each put in some money towards me buying tupperware. they each had an envelope to put the money in and they gave it straight to my demonstrator, so i didnt know who gave what. everybody was happy with the arrangement, and it meant i was able to set up my kitchen really well :D

[MrsMiggins]

I actually gave my organisers (very helpful friends!) a list of things we needed. I told them expressly that I did not want them telling people what to get us, but that if people asked (as I knew they would), then to offer suggestions from the list.

I was honestly just happy to spend some time with my friends & enjoy the celebration of our coming bubba, but I know that people would like to bring along a present (I know I myself would never dream of turning up to a baby shower empty-handed!) therefore the list was there so that we'd get things we needed if people chose to get us something.

In the end, we got about 50/50 stuff we really needed & gorgeous little outfits.

I certainly don't think it's rude at all to make suggestions, but I certainly know how you feel! I didn't want to give people suggestions outright, because I felt then that I was telling guests that I expected them to bring along a gift. This was my way of getting around that awkward situation!

[marci678]

Hi,

I was just wondering - what is the etiquette with organising baby showers? Is it meant to be your friends who throw you a baby shower or am I supposed to organise it myself? I'm the first out of my friends to have a baby, so we're all pretty clueless on this stuff.... :confused:

Marci

[jessi]

None of my good friends even know that they are supposed to organise it for the mum to be... one of the ladies I used to work with offered to do it for me, and knowing that my close friends wouldnt, I happily agreed- shes done a great job so far... Although, I have helped as I like to be a part of things that go on- I put ribbons onto my invitations but thats about it... LOL

I spoke to her about my dilemna and she ended up making an amazing poem up about me and the bub and how I need essentials- and to help people out with getting a gift (not that anyone needs to bring anything), she wrote a little wish list of stuff I had mentioned to her.

[Roxy]

Hi,

I was just wondering - what is the etiquette with organising baby showers? Is it meant to be your friends who throw you a baby shower or am I supposed to organise it myself? I'm the first out of my friends to have a baby, so we're all pretty clueless on this stuff.... :confused:

Marci


Your friends are supposed to throw you a shower....it can be seen as rude and greedy if you throw one yourself. (I'm not insinuating that you are, but I am throwing a shower for a friend and ended up on a baby shower forum where it was made very clear that friends, and not the mum to be throw the shower). That said, I dont see the harm in suggesting to a close friend the desire for a shower :p

[hummingbird]

I don't think it's rude to have a list of suggested items. If you have a shower it would be rude for guests not to being a gift, so they may as well being something that you'll need. I think most people would appreciate the direction. I think you'll find that people can't help themselves when it comes to little baby's clothes, and blankets and hooded towels for that matter. If it makes people happy to buy you these things, then how can you argue with that? We have already packed away enough clothes to fill a large space bag (trust me that's huge) with about 80% of them never being worn and Sienna is only 10 weeks old. It's such a terrible waste, but hopefully I will be able to use them with the next bubba. I had a registry and whilst most things where purchased, the real 'boring' things we needed weren't, things like a travel-cot, bouncer, sheet sets. That being said, we got LOADS of wipes and newborn nappies.

I organised my own shower as I am the first of my friends to have a baby they have no idea that they were to have organised one for me (they are only just having bridal showers ATM!). Besides that I am a control freak anyway