Will mt friend ever bond with her bub?

[MonMic]

My best friend had her 1st bub a DS on monday.:smiliedance:
She is not a maternal person to start with and has always proclaimed that she is just having the baby for her DH.
For instance he is going straight on the bottle so that she can leave him with others from day 1.

anyway she had a very bad c-sec experience (booked c-sec due to low placenta) the spinal block wore off whilst they were stitching her up and she was in heaps of pain and had a few complications resulting in her having no contact with bubs much for the 1st day.:eek:

I'm worried as she didn't get that initial nice hold with DS and with the c-sec she won't try to hold him much and that she will stay detatched and not get to bond with her bub.:( Her DH has 2 weeks of and I can see her using that to get him to primarily take care of bubs and maybe even get more time of so that she can recover, meaning she won't spend time with bubs herself for longer.

I know mums still bond with their bubs when they are in humidicribs and ospecial care when they can't hold them much but I can just see thi sgetting between her and her bub.:crying:

Anyone else had a bad experience with a c-sec? how did you go afterwards ? did you ever recover and get that strong maternal protective love for your bub?

[OM]

I had a bad c-section experience and yet I was able to bond well with my baby! I took every bit of help around the house I could get in the initial few weeks which really helped me recover and I was able to bond with baby more and more each day.

I think given time your friend will be fine. Obviously though watch out for signs of PND.

Good luck to her!

[MonMic]

Thanks
I know that as she spends more time with him and he starts responding, I hope she will fallin love with him as we all do. She can just be a bit that way that she would let it be an excuse to drive a wedge between them.
:(

I myself didn't get that lightning bolt atatchment that people talked about and warmed to my first bub over a few weeks and by 6 weeks I thought oh yeah I would be unhappy if she went away :o so I know it can come slowly.

What it probably needs is a visit from her MIL :eek: (she hates) who can say something awful as she always does and my friend will feel more protective over her bub. :rolleyes:

[OM]

What it probably needs is a visit from her MIL :eek: (she hates) who can say something awful as she always does and my friend will feel more protective over her bub. :rolleyes:


Yes god bless MIL for having the gift for telling us things we really don't want to hear!:rolleyes:

[Pixie]

Hmm can't speak for myself so to speak, but defintely my DP has had trouble bonding to Eliza after my c/section he blamed her for my hemorrage I know it sounds awful and it was and has been the past 7 weeks have been very hard on me/us emotionally he is a great dad but it's took about 5-6 weeks before the bonding started. She needs to talk to someone, I just had a debriefing at the hospital where Eliza was born and it was very helpful and beneficial for all three of us. It's a struggle and her husband is going to feel under pressure to keep it together if it's like that.

I'd really recomend she talks to someone though. :)

[bronny-jane]

im not a maternal person at all, some of us arent, just let your frien know that its normal for bonding to take a while, i didnt bond with my dd 1 till she was a few months old:)

[WizzFizz]

Bonding isn't an instant thing, and for some Mummy's it isn't "Love at First Sight". I'm sure that your friend will bond with her bub in due time and she will be a great Mum. Its funny but when you are pregnant you have all these ideas and notions on how you will parent, why you are having the baby etc. but when that little baby comes into the world.. Oh how everything changes!

I had a C-section with my DD (emergency) and I didn't really hold her until 8 hours after she was born.. And when we got home I had to look after me first before I could look after my baby. But we still bonded! And it took me some time to 'like' being a mum, even though I thought I was the most maternal person alive!

It sounds like you are a good friend to have, just be supportive and encourage her relationship with her baby.

:kiss:

[LittleBoysRock]

I didnt have a c-section but I had a really rough VB and it took me about 6 weeks to love DS at all. I felt nothing but resentment for him until he was about 6 weeks. As terrible as it is to admit!!

I didnt tell a soul....not DH, not my Mum. I felt so bad about it. Know I have told a few people but I am so ashamed that I felt like that towards him. :banghead:

Now I love him more than anything or anybody in this world. :p

[Tam-I-Am]

Your friend is a prime candidate to develop post-natal depression. If she feels forced into a pregnancy, and then had a traumatic and quite horrific birthing experience, compounded by the fact that she isn't actively looking after bubs - this could turn into something nasty.

I have no doubt that she will end up loving and bonding with her child, but right at the moment, when emotions are so raw and the hormones are still raging - she's really in a danger period.

Can you suggest she has regular visits with her GP? Or at least read up on the symptoms of PND yourself - a good link is here: www.beyondblue.org.au (http://www.beyondblue.org.au) - and watch her for signs and symptoms.

Good luck to her, and good on you for being such a wonderful supportive friend.