He says no more!

[bobtob]

Hi
I am a very happy SAHM of 2 boys, I am really keen to have number 3 but my husband says NO WAY! I respect his views and do not want to twist his arm as I will need his support more than ever if we do have another but I just can't help feeling let down. I am having real trouble getting over his firm refusal, am I being selfish or does anyone else have this strong (it must be instinctive) desire to have another baby and understands the grief I am feeling??
T
Bob Oct 01
Toby Oct 03

[reflect169]

maybe u should speak to hi reguarding WHY he doesnt want anymore, mybe he wants to wait til they're both at school, maybe he worries financialy. u should find out.
my man and i lost our first born e\in april, and i want to try straight away, shane wanted to at first, then didnt want to, now hes neither here nor there. i know the feeling of wanting a chl, n feeling a little let down, i feel quite let down.


ami xxx :p

[Tamlee]

Its hard isn't it, my hubby was the same, after several discussions my hubby decided that I wasn't going to give up and we ended up with 4 children, after the forth he went for the opperation LOL.
Maybe just try talking to him about it. And show him how much you want another child.

[Daninz]

I can totally realate to how youre feeling...
For me its hard in a different way, I know my husband wants more kids. We have 2 together and 2 from my previous marriage.

Ive had 4 c-sections. when I went to have my 4th they asked me if I wanted to get my tubes tied, I thought I had to, and they said no, theyre doing up to 7 now depending on the c-sections... so I decided not to get my tubes tied, and I was actually surpised at how happy I was that I didnt have to get them done....

Then the c-section went terribly wrong, my uterus tore and I haemorraged and it took a while to sew me up. I almost ended up with a Hysterectomy but in the end they "saved" my uterus. Then told me I shouldnt get pregnant again.
But they didnt put that in my notes. according to my notes my uterus did tear, but not much, I did haemorrage but it was under control and it says if I ever get pg I have to have a c-section (which after 4 is pretty much a given anyways)

So now Im stuck, not knowing whether or not I can have anymore, but we hadnt actually planned more, its just now I know I shouldnt have anymore I suddenly really really want more.. ykwim?

you need to sit with your hubby and have a good chat, let him know how you feel and find out why he feels the way he does. men are strange things.
I hope you can work it out, its hard not to think of anymore kids. I have had depression because of it myself.

and its only been this past week Ive been tempted to get pg and just see how it goes... but my youngest is only 5 1/2 months...so if I did get pg, my uterus hasnt really had time to heal.

Im a bit lost, maybe I need to sit down and talk to my hubby too!!

Dani, mum of 4
Check us out at http://www.geocities.com/happimumnz

[bobtob]

Thanks everyone!
Its good to know there are understanding people out there!
I have had many talks with my husband to the point where I know i sound obsessed!! but to no avail, its still a NO! but he has agreed to wait another year b4 he gets the snip so i suppose thats something!!
Thanks again for your replys! and goodluck to you all, I count my blessings everyday and know my glass is definatley more than half full, its just this instinctive desire that is driving my every thought!!
Take care
T

[ZAKA]

I too can sympathize I really really want another but my husband is very sure he does not want three. The main reason for him is financial not emotive like me. I have been putting a lot of pressure on him so he did out a budget on three kids and said that if you acutally works it out why would you ever have three! Needless to say I want three still but respect that he wants a life after children with some money put away for us and the girls to experience more and give our two beautiful girls more opotunuties.