Long term relationships as a single mum

[Sammy76]

Do you think it is possible to have a relationship with someone who lives 4 hours away when you are a single mum?

I met someone who lives that far away, and we get on really well, we have been speaking to each other for nearly 5 weeks. He wants to start a relationship, but I am thinking, why bother, as much as i may want to, how can we really get to know each other when we are over 4 hours away?

Mix in with that being a single mum too...I am very cautious re introducing him to my son, he agrees that it should only happen after we get to know each other too. But won't that take forever anyway? TBH, the city he live in is nice, so I could see myself living there, but I am nowhere ready to move anywhere yet.

He said he will come up as much as he can, maybe once a month and sure I could travel up to see him as well, I would have to take my son, which is way to soon to happen anyway.

I would love to hear of other single mums/ or gals who have had long distance relatioships before.

[little bean]

I think it's definitely worth a try but I can understand you being wary of involving your son too early. Is there anyone who could babysit while you are away or when your new man comes up to visit? With the internet and phone, you could get to know each other really well and things might progress from there.

Best of luck :flowerz:

[Sammy76]

I don't think my parents will babysit more than overnight, they are SOO very helpful, but I think it might be too much for them.

So it is fine when he comes up for day dates, but overnight, and for a few days, as much as I want to go and visit him, it probably won't be possible.

[Issey]

well i think anything is possible if you want it.

i know a lady who was a single mum to 3 kids (2 with bad behaviour problems - diagnosis can't remember) anyway she met on the internet a guy interstate and they dated a long time and eventually after 4yrs he moved in with her and they married and had two more children. Don't know the full details of how it all eventuated but just letting you know it isn't impossible. :)

good luck :)

[little bean]

I agree - if you think he's a really nice person, then go for it. Maybe for a while you'll need to stay home and he can come visit you. I know what you mean about leaving your son with your parents overnight - my DD is 18 months and she's very full-on so she would be a huge responsibility for babysitters and also a bit of a problem to take to other people's non-babyproofed houses!

I'm sure you'll be able to work something out - maybe just introduce your new man as a friend and keep kissing/cuddling etc for after your son is in bed. Or perhaps your son could spend some of the day with your parents so he wouldn't form too much of a bond with your new man... just in case.

I'm so excited for you :yelclap:

[Sammy76]

Thanks for your replies everyone.

Well he came to visit a couple of days ago, and he stayed in a hotel, and we hung out and got to know each other.

Totally spoiled me for lunch with lobster, oysters and a bottle of wine between the two of us.

It was really nice, he seems like a really decent guy, I am not going to stress about it. If anything comes from it, well only time will tell. He said he was prepared to come up and visit and see where things go.

Thanks again everyone!

[little bean]

Where do I get one of those?!:laughing: Sounds wonderful.

[Sammy76]

I've been on RSVP for about 6 months. I've been on 4 dates now, and each one has been really nice and good guys. It is possible hey! I live in a small city, so it is just a matter of sifting through them to find the good ones, and being patient. I didn't go on it until my son was nearly 2, so don't worry, there is no rush.

Who knows where it will lead but it is nice just to go out on dates and feel good about myself again.:D I've needed it, that is for sure!!