Maybe going to TTC maybe not, advise needed.

[Kaileysmum]

Hello:wave:

My dd is almost 8mths and my dp wants to start TTC soon. I'm not sure if I want children so close. He thinks it would be better for the kids to be close in age. I don't know how Id cope though. Is a smaller age gap better? Did you cope? Do your kids better with a small age gap or a bigger one?

I just need advise before I make my mind up if I should TTC or not. The other thing is I'm overweight from my last pregnancy and don't know how that would go getting pregnant without losing the weight first. If anyone has advise on that too that would be great.

God I'm glad I have bubhub for advise.:thumbsup:

[SillyBilly]

I have a 20 month age gap between my two and it is good and bad. The good thing is that they are friends. They are young enough to enjoy similar things so they are close. This is what we wanted.

The negative is that it can be tough. They can fight. And they are both babies together really. At least with a large age gap the eldest can help out a little. Did I cope? Barely! ;)

I suggest that you get a list of all of the positives and negatives and see which list you would prefer – because at the end of the day it is a personal decision.

Personally, I prefer a smaller age gap (1 to 3 years) so they can be close. But you still have time as your dd is only 8 months old. Don’t do anything until you are ready!

btw - she is very cute. at least you know that you make lovely babies!

[Kaileysmum]

Thanks SillyBilly for your story. Also thanks about what you said about my dd.

[wonkey22]

My hubby was also putting foward to idea of a close second baby but it would be good for the children. I think he was excited that there was going to be more of a chance that he could get luckier than every Saturday morning.

He was very understanding to the fact that I suffer from crippling morning sickness but that didn't stop him being naughty once and now I am preggers again. DS is 7 months and bun in the oven is 13 weeks and suffering the crippling morning sickness so he doesn't complain when the floor hasn't been mopped for 5weeks now and the clothes haven't been put away for two months.

I suppose the only suggestions that I can offer is that what ever happens and when ever it happens you will find a strategy to deal with it. I have got some wonderful ideas from the ladies on here.

Don't do it to you are ready because at the end of the day you look after them.

[mim]

I have an 18month gap between my first two and a 3yr gap between #2 and #3. If I did it again I would go for the 3 yr gap.

The positive with the 18month gap is now they are (mostly) friends and they play together well. It was so hard for me when DD was first born, my DS was still a baby, and needed more attention. I had two in nappies for almost a year! But we did survive, and now I am glad I had them close together. You definitely reap the rewards eventually.

The three year age gap has been great so far. My DD is that bit more independant, while I am feeding bubs she will sit next to me while I read her a book, or she'll play for example. I also feel a lot better in myself having had the extra couple of years not pregnant in between!

It is an intensly personal decision. If you're really not sure, then wait a bit longer. You're the one that is going to be there day in and day out.
Good luck with whatever you decide :thumbsup:

mim xxx

[Kaileysmum]

Hey Thanks guys for the reply's. Im still thinking about what will be best. Its a hard decision to make.

[kate_perth_10]

my two are 13 months apart and the first year i will admit was really hard.Having both getting up in the night and two sets of nappies (it was pretty much what i imagined twins would be like LOL) but once we got past the first year they started to play and amuse each other and are now the best of friends.They do fight and argue and if i could have planned it i would have had a 3yr gap but i guess both sides have pros and cons.You have to decide what is best for u as u will be the one who has to cope with most of it (not that i'm saying dh is unimportant but they get to go to work LOL)

Just do what feels right,whatever the age gap u learn to cope with it and once u have 2 you wouldn't have it any other way:)

[mumofgrace]

My first is just 5 months and we have another due in Jan 07. I wanted them close together to get it over with - if I have to get up for one, I may as well get up for two! Also hopefully they will be good friends. My sister and I are only 10 months apart and my mum says that although it was really hard at first, she wouldn't have done it any other way.

I compromised with my husband though about house work as he is home during the day (he works early mornings and evenings). I wrote a list of everything that needed to be done in and out of the house. We then took it in turns to choose which jobs we wanted to do so things were divided up. So far so good - although while I am at home I am doing a few extras. Getting up at night though is a night each

[Pixie]

Hmm my DD is 8 weeks and we're TTC#2 I am nervous as hell lol it's what we want, but I worry I won't cope, actually I think I will cope with the children, it's everything else that worries me. So we sat down and talked about it, we always said this is what we would do, and we're doing it :D

[SamanthaJane]

All of my siblings are 2 years apart.

I loved growing up with this age gap!

I think the 2 year gap is not too small, not too big but juuuuuuuusst right;)

So in my books, i'd be starting ttc when the last child is 15 months old:D

I think its important to have kids close together, i just had so much fun growing up with 4 siblings all close to my ages and i've never found a problem with it.

But, each to their own, and only do it when ur both ready:yes:

[newmum2one]

My sister and I are 21 months apart and while we were little we played well together, I was old enough to "help" a little with the new bub, and toys got handed down a lot sooner (less stuff lying around not being used or in storage LOL ;) )
My brother and other sister are about 2 1/2 years apart and that I think was a good distance apart too.
HOWEVER lol my DH wants to TTC again, not unusual except that our baby is only just under 5 months old, DH has been trying to convince me since Cammy was 6 weeks old! :shame: You can guess what I told him then! (I had a nasty pregnancy with complications and terrible morning sickness and an emergency caesar).
In conclusion, I agree with the others, wait until you feel ready even if it means giving your body a bit of a break. Maybe tell him if he wants a bun in the oven he's got to wait for the oven to preheat (which may take oh several months LOL)! :laughing:

[mich71]

my first 3 have 3yrs 8mths beteen them that was good but my 2 youngest have 11mths 3wks that was hard i coped fine but poor dom spent first 8mths in portacot when i couldnt be in the room just to keep him safe if i could do it over again i would have waited till his brother was at least 18mths so i could have enjoyed him more

[Jordan]

My daughter just turned 15months and my bubs just turned 1month so I am living the life of a mum with a small age gap. I've gotta say, I dont think I would do it any other way. There are hard things but I think there are difficulties with any age gap.
... the hard bits???...... I had terrible morning sickness with this one and had to just lie on the floor with my daughter cos thats all you feel up to and they're getting the attention they want but thats going to happen at any age.
My 15mth old still wakes and has 2 eye teeth and 3 molars coming through so she is waking a fair bit. So we're up a fair bit in the night
She has also just moved from two sleeps to 1 sleep a day which is taking its toll on all of us cos she's only sleeping an hour. Had she been able to stay at 2 sleeps, I would have had more of a rest.

Getting them out to the car is hard cos we live on a busy street so I cant just let her walk out. She runs off when she gets out the gate. Going to the park can be hard when the baby is awake and crying and she is running off. (She's at that run never walk stage) but you know what, I cope and I dont think I'd do it any other way:
She is too young to be jelous so has welcomed her baby brother with open arms and that in itself makes my life so much easier.
I havent had my sleep back since she was born so getting up is pretty easy cos i cant remember life before.
She's not so big that I cant carry both of them at once. I just did a major supermarket shop with both of them and she can go in the trolley seat.

Another bonus is that my husband helps heaps - he gets up to her and helps around the house. I'm ready to crash pretty early so we're not getting a heap of quality time together but when all our friends are still getting up and changing nappies, feeding etc, we will be sleep through!!

I felt pretty scared at how I would cope and I met this girl who is about to have her 3rd close together and she pointed out to me that you're just as tired and busy but they do end up playing together and there are difficulties with any age gap, so pick your hardship!
Good luck

[Hokey Pokey]

It's really a personal decision. I chose for a 3 year gap (ended up being 4 cos we miscarried and tried again) and next time will be a 4-5 years gap. I think this is best suited to me.

[mumma_jessy]

There is 20 months between our babies!

I wouldn't have it any other way, sure it's challenging the first few months while you get used to having two around but soon it just becomes second nature!

My brothers and i were all 2 years apart, and were really close growing up, which is what made me decide on the age gap for our two. Sure we'd have our fights, but most of the time was spent playing with eachother.

My daughter has just started crawling, and now my two are actually playing togther, it's beautiful, it brings tears to my eyes and makes my heart want to explode!

:thumbsup: I highly recommend it, it might be a bit more work to start off with but pretty soon they'll be entertaining eachother! Now i've just got to convince my man one more with the same age gap would be a good idea!