mental trauma from birth...

[isabellasmummy]

when i had bella was just 19...
and the hospital that i went to under 20's have a special midwife and have a massive pink sticker on the folder...
when i got to the hospital, i was about to have bella... i was told to sit in the waiting room cos there was no way that i could be having her, and if i was it was going to take days!!!

i sat in the waiting having contraction every 90 sec!!!
then i vomited, every where... i meant to do that....
they took me in a room, did an internal found out that i was 9.5cm...

they took me upstairs... the mdwife made me WALK... saying that i have to walk, if i didn't have sex i wouldn't have been in this situation...

i could of hit her...

i had a differant midwife to deliver bella...

after i had bella i had to do everything myself, i asked someone to help me change her nappy... i had done it before, but never a new born... i asked for help feeding her... the same midwife came back (the mean one) she just said "oh forget it, i'll get you a bottle for her"

that midwife was so mean...
she would always have to say something about my age...
i shut her up when she said
"should of been at school insted of having kids..." she put her foot in her mouth there, cos she said it in front of my PE teacher, i was doing my HSC (yr12) when i was having bella...



bella is 17 months now, and i still feel like i can't do it, cos i was always told that i was too young.... thanks god they don't know that i M/C when i was i 12... that would have been...well i don't know what it would of been, but anyways...

[deesalie]

I'm so sorry you were treated so badly. There's just no excuse for that kind of behaviour. You are certainly not a little girl who needs to be put in her place!

[BreithCuidiu]

I experienced the same when pregnant at 23!

For some bizarre reason, the consultant at the hospital wanted to do a pap test as he was convinced that it would show something up. He inserted a speculum, his pager went off, and he walked out of the room leaving the curtain AND the door wide open for passers by to see EVERYTHING. He'd been gone for around 15 minutes when he came back in to find me crying from the pain of the speculum and pure humiliation.

You know what he said?...

"A speculum is no bigger than an erect penis and you had no truble with that, did you?". When I left he loked at my notes to see my name and saw my age too. He then said "What are you studying?" I just looked back at him and asked what he meant, to which he replied "Oh Okay. You didn't go to uni because you've been busy pumping out the babies. So are you going to do anything with your life?"

Let's just say, when I went back to the clinic a month later he wasn't there.

COMPLAIN!!!

[AM]

:eek: I'm in shock reading both your posts...

Yes yes yes, please complain about that mw...

And great stuff BC for complaining about that doctor :banghead: What an ar$ehole.

[~Bec~]

Oh my god! I just read these out to DF and we are both :eek: :eek:
Complain! Stand up for your rights and you dignity!
Makes me so mad that such a'holes exist let alone are alleged 'care' providers. :banghead:

BreithCuidiu - OMG, I'm assuming you complained and he was kicked out. Geesh, I wonder how he'd have felt if that was his daughter who had been treated in such an attrocious manner.

:hugs: for you both!

[isabellasmummy]

the MF that looks after the under 20's told us if any one gave us hell to tell her and she'll fix it...
i told her when i was leaving hsopital, (she was away at another hospital) she dealt with it... i haven't seen that MF back there, (i have been up there a few times for my friends)...

the same thing happened to my GF when she has her 1st, she waas 13 (her 14th b'day was the next day), my GF didn't find out till she was 7 months...
the MF's all wispered behind her back, told her that it was to late have an epi, or any drugs cos they wouldn't work...
a day later, the doctor came in and asked if she want drugs, i said that the MF said it was too late, he said "bull" and druger her up...

the MF wouldn't help her at all... one said "you got knocked up, you deal with it" that made it worse... my GF had been raped...

to make it worse my GF couldn't bond with her daughter, she just kept seeing the guy that attacked her... i looked after her daughter for a yr... it was about 13months before my GF held her...

we sued the hospital and the MF's involed... lets just say, molly is set for life, the best schools, and everything she will need...


have a nice day:flowerz:

[MissSparkle]

Thats horrible. No preg woman or woman in labour should be treated like that regardless of how old they r.
Don't let what this horrible woman said to u get u down . U can do it. Ur not too young. I can imagine it would be hard to put all this behind u.....I wouldve been making complaints to the hospital about that midwife.
I was only just 18 when I gave birth to DS1 but luckily I didnt experience any prejudice regarding my age...(I went to the private hospital and my mum knew a few of the nurses there)
Im sorry u had to go thru that.

[lovelymum]

I find it amazing how the medical profession judge you when you are young and pregnant. I got pregnant when I was 19. I had some really nasty pain in my right side so I was sent to an obstertrican to have an ultrasound to rule out eptopic pregnancy. I was around 6 weeks and he started the scan and looked at me and turned the screen away from me, he said "you don't have to look" he then went on to give me the details of where I could get an abortion. He didn't even ask if I wanted to have the baby. I walked out a little shocked by it all with the refferal to the abortion clinic in my hand. My then BF and I decided (had nothing to do with the doctor) we would terminate as we knew that our relationship was not strong enough to survive a baby (and to this day I stand by my decision). Three years ago I returned to the clinic where I had my termination - this time to have my eggs collected after an IVF cycle - HOW IRONIC!!! ;)

[GeorgiaAnne]

I am so shocked by this - i'm so sorry you were treated like that :hugs:

[NibbleCurlynBub]

I find it absolutely APPALLING that young women are still treated like this.

Sweetness, get yourself some counselling and talk it out.. You should not have been treated the way you were, it is not acceptable in the least. :no:

I was exceptionally lucky, I had my first at 16 and the midwives (all but one that I thankfully only met briefly) respected me. Perhaps its only because of the giant bald bouncer-like man I had with me at all turns..

But this is not ok, you did not do anything wrong and you did not deserve the way you were treated.

Perhaps after a little while, you might be able to confront the hospital and report the way you were treated as a formal complaint.

:hugs: I wish you all the best in your healing journey. :hugs:

[angel_cakesau]

i had same problems i was 20 when having my first and 21 having my 2nd and i got one student doctor and she said oh your too young to have babies and you over weight (i was 41 weeks pregnant) what a good start to your life huh then she proceeded to tell me i should start a diet that day and how i should lose weight in the end i stood up and said look i am here to try get this baby out if i wanted weight loss advice i would see jenny craig so you can shove it up ur a** and walked straight back out to reception and said i wanted to see some one else

[TripleTime]

Some people have no respect, im 21 next week, having triplets & havent had any comments like that.

I feel sorry for all of you.

[sienna2008]

SOrry to hear bout your mis treatment. When I had my LO, It was all new to me too, I remember my 2nd nite at the hospital, and one of the nurses was the biggest *** to me, My LO wouldn't stop crying and I checked her nappy it was clean, I'd fed her, she still crying, I was sooo tired, boobs hurting, headache and it was like 2am, last resort was to buzz for help, the nurse walks in talks to me like a little kid, sortve yelling, picks up bubs and totally handles her like she's a rag doll, checks nappy and wotta you know she's done the biggest green poo ever!! I get told off, though at this time I was a zombie, and just wanted baby to settle and sleep, nurse changes her nappy in like 5 secs, hands her to me and storms off cos her buzzer is goin beserk, complaining the whole time she was in with me that it won't stop buzzing. When she left, the lady next to me said that she shouldn't of spoken to me in that tone, at the time I just took in what the nurses said, cos no one else was there to help, but when I think back, I get angry and think of things I could've, would've , should've said, but it's in the past and I try to forget it.....